What if Roseanne Had Died Instead of Dan?
by Housekid93
Summary: Dan goes through life changes to adjust to being a single father to Jerry and DJ, Darlene and David learn how to be parents and raise Harris. Mark and Becky struggle to stay together,while Jackie and Bev develop a worse relationship than before. Stays pretty close to the events of the "Real" ending of the series. PLEASE REVIEW! I own nothing!
1. The Beginning of a New Ending

Dan conner woke up with a nauseating headache, bleary eyes and no memory of how he ended up in this hospital room.

He stayed quiet, just looking at the ceiling. He closed his eyes again and tested himself to see how much he remembered.

"Dan…_Daniel _Stephen Conner. Uh Darlene, Becky, Jerry, D.J. D.J. that stands for something, I can't remember, Rosie, and Roseanne….Jackie…"He muttered running his hand over his face and through his hair. His muttering caught the attention of a female nurse dressed in navy blue scrubs. She put her hands in his left arm as a calming gesture.

"Slow down Mr. Conner. You were in a car accident. You didn't break any bones, but you received a head blow that cracked you're skull open. We're keeping you under observation in case of a concussion. Also, you have cuts on your arms, legs, and torso from your windshield."

Dan listened to this very young nurse. All he could think about right now was his wife.

"What about my wife? Roseanne?" He asked, sitting up, and preparing to get off his hospital bed.

"You're wife? Well I'm sorry. She didn't survive the ambulance ride."

Hearing this sent an instant feeling of disbelief through Dan. Maybe it was the drugs in his system or the intense love he had for his wife or something else that caused Dan to snap.

"NO! SHE CAN'T DIE! SHE CAN'T BE DEAD!..." Dan was all the way off his bed now, and standing on his own two feet, pulling his IV and pulse ox from his arms. He picked up the food tray beside his bed and threw it at the wall beside the nurse.

The nurse a whole foot and half smaller than Dan, held out her hands in front of her, fearing for safety. A doctor approximately Dan's height saw the commotion through the door way and ran to help the nurse, followed by an orderly and a security guard.

"I have to see her. She isn't dead. " Dan said to himself, while making his way to the door way.

The doctor lunged at Dan shouting the name for a tranquilizer and managed to push Dan who was at a slight disadvantage due to his headache on the floor, lying on his back.

Dan grabbed the doctor and made a fist but the security guard grabbed both of Dan's arms and forced them to his chest while the orderly and two other nurses took his legs and forced them to bend straight on the floor. Another doctor took the opportunity and pushed a syringe full of tranquilizer into Dan's thigh, as a crowd of shocked patients and doctors looked into the room.

"You can't keep her from me you BASTARDS! SHE ISN'T DEAD! I KNOW IT! I know it…" Tears formed in Dan's eyes as his body lost its battle to the tranquilizer, and Dan went unconscious.

Feeling that it was safe to let him go, the doctor, security guard and nurses stood up, as two different orderlies came to put Dan on his bed.

"What was that?" Asked the original nurse, still in shock.

"A man who loves his wife." The doctor answered.

"He was going to hurt me."

"I don't think so. He bypassed you to go out that door. All he was concerned about was seeing his wife."

Darlene Conner sat at her parent's house watching her baby brother Jerry, who was 18 years younger than she was. Normally she was at college, but she had a three day weekend so she decided to use that to visit her parents and help out with her brother so her parents could go for a night out. Nothing good was on TV so her mind began to wander and she began to think about her family.

The generations in her family had somehow become screwed up and twisted around to the point of confusion. She held in her lap her baby brother who was two years shy of being two decades younger than her, while her father had a brother who was born 38 years after him, and a sister who was born 39.5 years after him. Also she was pregnant but she hadn't told anyone that yet, not even the father, so her baby would be only 11 months younger than her baby brother, and three years younger than her cousin.

"Jerry, our family is totally screwed up." She said, looking at Jerry, as the phone rang.

Before she answered it, Darlene put Jerry in his play pen then ran to the phone.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hello. This is Fulton County Hospital; I'm calling about a Daniel S. Conner and a Roseanne H. Conner…"

"What happened?" Darlene shouted.

"They were in a car accident. We'd like you to come down…" Before the lady on the phone could finish, Darlene slammed the phone down and called her other brother.

"DJ! Come down here!"

D.J. ran down the stairs hearing the franticness in his sister's voice.

"What?" He said.

"I need you to watch Jerry. The hospital called, mom and dad were in a car accident. I have to go there."

Now 14 years old and feeling like an adult, D.J. decided he was going too.

"I'm going with you." He said.

"Listen Deej, Jerry is better off here and you have to stay with him. Call Aunt Jackie and Becky. I'm leaving." Before DJ could protest his sister had grabbed her coat and was out of the door. He walked over to the playpen and picked up his brother.

He remembered when he was seven and Darlene had been sent to the hospital. Becky stayed home with him, and it was there job to tell their dad what happened. Then he also remembered when his dad had come home from work after a head injury and convinced him that he wasn't going to die for a very long time. He remembered that moment while his dad's words floated in his head. Somehow that made him feel better.

When Jackie hung up the phone after her nephew told her that her sister and brother in law were in the hospital she turned into a crying mess even though she had relatively little idea how serious the situation was.

But still, she grabbed her keys and rushed out of the door and made her way to the hospital. Luckily, her son, Andy was at his dad's house for the week.

Darlene reached the hospital, parked in a no parking zone and practically flew to the help desk. "I'm looking for the Conners." She proclaimed to the African American woman.

"Car accident?" The lady asked. Somehow Darlene immediately disliked the woman attitude and made that clear

"No. Rodeo accident."

The lady took the hint and changed her attitude. "Their names please?"

Darlene stiffened up. "Daniel Conner and Roseanne Conner."

The nurse went through the folders on her desk. She found the one labeled: Conner, Daniel Car Accident and looked threw it. "Mr. Conner is your dad?"

"Yeah."

"He's stable, with no broken bones just a minor head injury. He is in room 307 on the second floor. If you get the chance can you fill out this form please?"

The nurse handed Darlene a form that looked like a job application.

"What about my mom?"

The nurse looked through the piles of folder and found the one labeled Conner, Roseanne D.O.A. She frowned at the paper, and then changed her gaze to Darlene. Darlene could tell right away that the news about her mom was not good.

"What is it? What's wrong with my mom?" Darlene felt herself tearing up and that made her mad.

"I'm sorry; she didn't make the ambulance ride."

Those words spun around in Darlene's head along with a thousand strange feelings and thoughts. There had been many times when Darlene imagined her mom dead. But now she was. Dead.

Oddly the first thing she could think of was her brothers. D.J. was 14 but that was still a young age to lose a mother, and Jerry won't grow up with a mom…maybe Aunt Jackie will be like a mom to him….All this swamped Darlene's head and she stopped it by refocusing on her dad.

"Can I see my dad?" She asked, as she realized that the nurse had her hand on her shoulder.

"You can try."

Darlene walked away and up the stairs to the second floor. She found the door marked 307 but a security guard was blocking it.

"What's going on?" She asked the man, approximately a foot taller than her father.

"This patient is under a psychiatric evaluation."

Darlene was shocked by this.

"What? What'd he do that you find crazy? Besides being a part of his family?" Darlene's sarcasm was her way of coping with the situation but the guard didn't see it that way.

"He had a mental break down and became violent. No one allowed in his room except medical personnel."

Darlene quickly pictured her dad pacing back and forth mumbling the names of car parts and punching out someone that tried to stop him, at the mention of mental break down.

"He's my father!" She yelled, seemingly frustrated.

"I'm sorry, miss. You'll have to wait until his doctor gives you permission before you can see him." Darlene accepted this and walked towards the stairs again.

Jackie appeared, waving her arms in shock and crying hysterically.

"I just heard. Oh my god! Oh my god!" The two women hugged each other tightly, and Darlene found herself not wanting to push her aunt away.

"They won't let me see dad, Jackie!" Darlene cried, more bothered by that than her mother's early demise.

Jackie's crying stopped quickly enough for her to ask for an explanation.

"What?"

"They said that Dad had a mental break down and became violent…"

Jackie quit crying again and paused. "You're dad? Violent…?"

Before Darlene could speak again she saw a man in a lab coat enter her dad's room. She jumped up and ran to him.

"Excuse me. Are you this patient's doctor?"

The doctor had a puzzled look on his face. "Um yes. Who are you?"

"Darlene Conner, that's my aunt Jackie and I want to know why the hell I can't see my dad!"

The doctor had the door half opened, but he closed it and posed himself in a more professional manner.

"You're dad experienced a post traumatic mental break. This isn't uncommon in accident victims but when it does happen it usually takes a few days…sometimes weeks…to recover from. When he woke up, a nurse told him you're mother passed away and he became violent, because of that we will have to keep him under a psychiatric evaluation for a mandatory 74 hours. If he goes that long without another episode and is cleared by me or a psychiatrist he will be allowed to leave. I'm sorry to have to tell you this on top of your mothers passing."

Darlene just listened to the doctor but came to like his direct manner. One thing she hated about doctors, they're always beating around the bush, while this one told her everything she needed to know at once.

"Can I see him?" Darlene asked, already knowing she was already told no.

The doctor peeked inside the room and saw that his patient was asleep.

"He's asleep."

"I still want to see him."

The doctor said nothing but motioned for her to follow him in the room. Jackie who was still trying to stop crying caught up with them and followed.

The first thing Darlene noticed about her dad was the restraints on his wrists. Somehow they made him feel like someone else.

"We'll only restrain him like that until we're sure he won't act violently again."

Dan had gauze all over his arms and a bandage on his forehead above his right eye. If Darlene only looked him in the face he looked the same as all the times he dozed off on the couch. Darlene went to the side of his bed and put her hand in his. She could feel his rough calloused hands and she just stood there looking down at her dad.


	2. Lots of Hugging

Two hours later Darlene sat in a waiting room waiting for the arrival of her oldest brother and older sister, plus her brother in law. She had told them that their mom and dad were in a car accident but had not told them that their mom died and there dad went crazy. Jackie was sitting beside her and was surprisingly calm now after seeing Dan.

D.J. was the first to walk in, and he went to Darlene. "You've been crying!" he yelled, making fun of his sister.

Darlene thought about firing off a sarcastic comeback, but chose not to. Instead she put a hand on both of D.J.'s shoulders and looked him right in the face.

"Mom died, D.J. She never made it here. Dad is okay but he won't be able to leave for a few days." She watched as her brother fell silent and pulled himself into a hug with her.

It had been a while since they were this close but she hugged him back. Becky appeared, and joined in. D.J. was the one to tell Becky.

"Mom's dead Becky." Jackie could no longer stand seeing these three siblings having a close moment alone and joined them followed by Mark. They stood huddled like that for as long as they could.

Meanwhile Dan woke up again. This time he remembered what happened and went to rub his hand over his forehead but discovered he couldn't. He looked down and saw the soft leather restraints secured to his wrists.

"Oooh…" He said to himself as he turned his body to see out the window, which had the blinds open so the doctors and nurses could keep an eye on him.

The guard at his door just happened to turn around and saw that he was awake. He paged Dan's doctor but remained where he was.

It only took a minute for Dan's doctor to come to his room.

"How do you feel Mr. Conner?" The doctor asked even toned. He was being very cautious even though Dan was unable to do anything physical.

"Tired and my head hurts. You tackled me." Dan said, pointing his finger at his side.

"You remember that?" The doctor said still even toned.

"Yeah, I do. I'm sorry I don't know what happened to me." The doctor studied Dan's face and body language. The doctor came to the conclusion he was being sincere.

"You had a psychotic break. It wasn't you're fault."

The doctor watched as Dan's mind floated away from the room and he went still and quiet.

"Mr. Conner?" The doctor said.

"Oh…Uh what'd you say?"

"What were you thinking of, just now?"

Dan went quiet again trying to put it into words. He spoke but quietly trying to fight off tears as the realization of his wife's death took him over.

"I was just thinking of my wife and my mom…"

"You were thinking of them because they're both passed away?" The doctor guessed trying to understand Dan's mind so he could decide whether or not he could release Dan when his 72 hours were up.

"No, I had to commit my mom to a mental hospital. Apparently she has schizophrenia and I never knew about it…"

The doctor listened and took all this in. He became aware that Dan could've inherited his mother's psychiatric disorder and that could've been the reason for him becoming violent, but the doctor doubted it, since Dan was past the age when the symptoms would show.

"Your daughter was here earlier with your sister…?" The doctor guessed Jackie was his sister.

"Sister-in-law. They didn't see these did they?" Dan suddenly became self-conscious about his restraints.

"They did, but I explained to them to that I'd take them off once I'm sure you're not dangerous to anyone…or yourself."

"Not on purpose." Dan joked, making a mental note to be on his best behavior so they'd take off his restraints. "Can I see my kids please?"

"If me or another doctor or nurse is in the room yes. I believe they're in the waiting room. I'll go get them." The doctor left the room, and Dan fought the urge to cry again. If he started crying there was no way he could rub his eyes.

Ten minutes later the doctor came back. "They'll be here in a minute. I told them they had to wait a few minutes."

"Why?" Dan asked confused.

To answer his question, the doctor pulled Dan's blanket up and over his arms to his hide his wrists. Dan couldn't fight the urge to say: "You know you could just take them off."

"Not tonight." The doctor replied, right before Darlene, D.J, Becky, Mark and Jackie walked in, all with smiles screwed on their faces.

"Hi, Dad!" D.J ran to his dad and gave him a hug. Dan felt a little odd about not being able to hug him back.

"Sorry, Son. My arms are too sore to hug you back." He lied while also screwing on a smile to his face.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're alive…"

"Me too dad." Becky said taking her turn and hugging her dad.

"Dad I'm sorry about mom…" Darlene said trying to not repeat what her brother and sister said.

Dan was caught off guard by this and felt even sadder. "I know. And I am too. You're mom always loved all of you and I want to you to remember that. She even loved you Mark she'd just never admit it." Mark teared up at this and went to his father in laws bedside.

"Thank you, Dan."

"You're welcome. Now can I have a moment alone with Jackie please?"

Everyone agreed and shuffled out the door, leaving the doctor and Jackie alone with Dan.

"Jackie, I am so, so, sorry. I tried helping her, but I couldn't reach her all the way." Dan admitted, feeling terrible. Jackie teared up for the millionth time and hugged Dan. They both gave in and cried together.

"It's not your fault Dan. It's that god damned drunk drivers fault."

Dan took a deep breath and stopped crying. "That other driver was drunk?"

"Yeah, I called in a favor with the officer who showed up at the accident site."

Somehow this made Dan feel even worse, just knowing his wife died because of a drunk driver. "Is there anything you want from home Dan?"

Dan lightened Jackie's mood with a joke. "My son would be nice."

"I'll try Dan."

The doctor who had been standing off in the corner of the room looked at his watch. "I'm sorry but I have to make my rounds and he can't be alone with anyone just yet…"

"Okay. Bye Dan, I will take care of Jerry." Jackie said making her way out of the door.

"Hey Jackie wait!" Dan called. "I love you."

Jackie just nodded and walked out into the hall. That was the first time Dan had told Jackie he loved her, and it made her feel happy despite Roseanne's death.


	3. Bev is thrown out of the house

At 8 pm the Conner family decided to go home. They were informed that there was no way that they would be allowed to see their dad again tonight so they didn't see the point in staying.

"We left grandma alone with Jerry. That's reason enough to leave right now." Becky said to Darlene.

"You're right. No kid deserves that. Not even one of our brothers." Darlene admitted, her gaze directed at D.J. "Come on Deej. I'll take you home…"

D.J. stood up. "No I'm staying here tonight. I don't want to leave dad alone."

Darlene smiled at her brother, "Really?"

"Yeah, really." D.J. said tough guy like.

Darlene glared at her brother but took out her a wallet and handed him a twenty dollar bill.

"Here's dinner money. See if you can sneak dad a Snickers from the vending machine."

"Thanks, Darlene. Bye Becky, Bye Mark." D.J. said waving as they left.

Jackie came over to her nephew. "Call me before you fall asleep. Bye D.J."

"Bye Aunt Jackie." With that everyone left D.J. alone in the waiting room.

D.J. just stood there a minute just watching people go about their business then walked to his dad's room and peeked in the window. His dad was awake and watching _FRIENDS _on the TV in the corner of the room.

D.J. made his way to the hospital cafeteria and bought himself a sandwich and Coke.

When he finished his meal, he made his way to a vending machine with Snickers and fed it a dollar. The chocolate candy dropped and the machine spit out a quarter. D.J. pocketed both and went back to the waiting room. _American Gladiators _was showing on the little TV. in the waiting room so he laid down on the couch and dozed off.

Darlene, Becky, Mark, and Jackie arrived at 714 Delaware Street to find their mom/grandma tearing off the comforter from their Mom and Dad's bed and Jerry asleep in his play pen near the front door.

"Uh mom? What are you doing?" Jackie asked as her crazy mother stood under the archway separating the kitchen from the living room.

"I'm cleaning this house. When Dan gets home from the hospital, I think it will be easier for him to cope with out Roseanne if he doesn't feel the house needs to be cleaned…"

"Wow grandma that makes perfect sense." Darlene responded at 100 percent sarcasm.

"No, it'll be better if you leave the house alone so Dan can still feel attached to Roseanne. When he gets back he should decide if it's better for the house to be different. It's all psychological." Jackie said, holding out her hands defensively.

Becky listened in quietly then pulled her aunt and sister into the bathroom and locked the door, as Beverly just watched and sighed.

"Jackie I don't want her to find out about dad. She already thinks dad has no business raising her grandkids and if she found out he's under observation for having a nervous breakdown, there is no way she'll leave dad alone." Becky spoke her piece and all three women agreed and walked back to the living room.

"I suppose you're little bull session was fun, after all _I _wasn't a part of it." Bev said crossing her arms with the comforter draped over them.

Jackie became very angry with her mom. "Mother, your daughter was in a car accident caused by a drunk driver and she DIED! Why are you acting like that doesn't bother you? Any normal person would be crying, but you just clean her house!"

"It does bother me Jackie, but I am the grandmother and it is my job to be the strong one, if I cry now it will be hard for everyone to move past this. And besides it was probably _Dan _who caused the accident after all the man goes through a six pack of beer like it's the buffet at Ponderosa!"

This set Darlene and Becky off. "Excuse me, Grandma? I seem to recall my mom telling me on a phone call that she and Jackie had to bail you out of jail for DUI!" Darlene screamed.

"I heard that too, you're problem with dad is that you compare him to grandpa and he's not like that. Get out!" Becky shouted opening the door.

"What?" Bev was in shock over her granddaughter's command.

"Get out, mom. If you're here you'll be the constant reminder that the wrong mother died today!" Jackie said holding her hand out with her nieces.

"I am so glad this family cares about my feelings!" Beverly yelled, walking out the door and storming down the porch steps.

The three girls slammed the door and looked at each other in a moment of clarity.

"I can't believe we threw out grandma." Becky said.

"I can't believe mom seemed like she didn't even care that your mom was killed in a car accident." Jackie said.

"I can't believe we didn't wake up Jerry." Darlene said, looking down at her brother and seeing her Dad's face.

"Well that is the important part." Jackie said heading to the refrigerator to drown her sorrows.

"That was cool. She was way out of line saying your dad was drunk." Mark said to Becky before going to the bathroom.

The sisters looked at each other. "You think grandma was right? Dad could've been drinking before the accident?" Darlene asked.

"No. Dad doesn't drink and drive. He only drinks when he knows he's not going anywhere. You know that."

Darlene knew it but didn't believe it. Lately she had become secretly concerned that her dad was an alcoholic, after all every time she had seen him he had a beer in his hand, and he did get up to get a fresh beer a lot. Like more than a normal nonalcoholic. As far back as she could remember he drank, and it seemed like he drank more and more every year.

Darlene never thought of it as a problem until she stayed for the weekend a few months ago and witnessed her dad getting his first beer for the day at 10 in the morning and his last one at 10 at night. Darlene took these thoughts and buried them in order to convince herself it wasn't her dads fault her mom died.

The sleeping arrangements were that Becky and Mark would sleep in D.J's bed (he got a full size one when he moved from his old room to Darlene and Becky's old room so Jerry could take his), Darlene would sleep in her old room in the basement and Jackie would take the couch. They all took these arrangements even after putting the comforter back on Dan and Roseanne's bed.


	4. Dan and DJ TalkDarlene and Jackie Talk

In the morning Dan was woke up to a male nurse checking his vitals. Dan looked at the guy and decided that he looked like a linebacker.

"You play football?" He asked.

"All four years of high school."

"Me to." Dan gently tried to pull his arms up, but found that they were still restrained.

The male nurse left the room without another word. Dan tried to make himself fall back asleep but couldn't. Ten minutes later his main doctor appeared.

"How are you feeling today?" The doctor asked shining a light in Dan's eye.

"Great." Dan said, seriously.

"Any headache?" The doctor asked.

"Nope."

"Nauseous?"

"Nope."

"All right. You're concussion went away, and I don't see any signs of a brain injury. At noon I'm releasing you to the psychiatric ward." The doctor said this as a test to see how Dan would react.

"57 hours left right?" Dan smiled, in understanding. The doctor made note that Dan had been keeping up with time, a good sign.

"That's right. I can't let you stay here if you're healthy enough to clear."

"I understand." Dan wasn't a fan of the idea of spending the night in a psychiatric ward, because when he thought of them he thought of his mom and then he thought of his childhood and then his dad and it went on and on and on. But he wanted to just get out of the hospital so he didn't reveal any of this. He was afraid if he did they'd never let him go

The doctor smiled and undid the restraint on his left hand and then did the restraint on his right. Dan brought his arms to his upper body and rubbed his wrists enjoying the use of them again. "Ooh just in time for breakfast." Dan said, feeling really hungry.

"A nurse will be here with breakfast shortly." The doctor said studying Dan's arm.

Dan's looked down at his arm. "Uh what will happen with my family? Will they be able to have a funeral or something?" Dan's mind became swamped with memories of Roseanne and their kids. He became aware of how much he missed her and just how much he wanted to be with her or to be touched by her. But he tried to convince himself to make it through this situation so he could be with his kids

The doctor could see the unhappiness in Dan and how much he was hurting. He saw tears in Dan's eyes. "Once an autopsy is performed, you're wife's body can be released to either you or someone else for a funeral or memorial service." He said, feeling that it was best to tell Dan the truth.

Dan shook his head, trying to fight off tears again. The doctor changed the subject.

"Is you're son about fourteen with black hair?" the doctor asked, remembering D.J. sleeping on the couch in the waiting room.

"Yeah, why?"

"He slept in the waiting room all night."

"What? Can I see him please?" Dan's mood changed to anger.

The doctor went out of the room and to the waiting room where D.J. was still asleep on the couch. He gently shook D.J. "Excuse me, son. You're father wants to see you." D.J. woke up and stared at the doctor until he remembered where he was and why he was there and then went into his dad's room.

The guard stepped inside the room just long enough for the doctor to catch up.

"Dad!" D.J. found himself hugging his dad again, and Dan was happy to be able to hug him back this time.

"Listen D.J. I have to stay in the hospital until tomorrow and I want you to know I'm okay. I feel fine but this doctor wants me to stay one more night in case there is….something wrong with my head…" Dan struggled to find the right words and realized he just used an expression for crazy on accident.

"Dad I know why you can't leave the hospital. I heard some nurses talking about it…" DJ tried to look his dad in the face but he couldn't.

Dan felt his voice cracking but spoke anyway. "I love you DJ and I promise I will be out of this hospital by Friday. My evaluation thing is up by tomorrow so I should be home tomorrow. And I want you to know that I have to stay because I woke up here and wasn't thinking clearly and just lost control. I shouldn't have acted like that." Dan lost it and started crying.

"I miss mom…" DJ cried too and the two held onto each other.

"I do too, pal, but we just got remember that she'll always live on our memories."

"You think Jerry will remember mom?" DJ asked worried about his baby brother.

"I hope so." Dan cried even harder, remembering how he was raised basically by one parent.

"Dad do you remember when you hurt your head at the construction site and I was afraid to leave you?"

"Yeah son…"

"You told me you wouldn't die for a very long time."

"I remember." Dan took the opportunity to make a joke. "Remember after that you wanted to know if Darlene would die?"

"Yeah, then you told me good night." D.J managed to laugh and so did Dan. Then walked in Chuck holding a box with a ribbon on it.

"Is it a bad time?" Chuck asked.

"No its not. Hey D.J can you call the house please and ask whoever answers to pack me a bag with clothes?" D.J. shook his head yes and left the room.

"Hey Dan I am so sorry."

"Thank you Chuck. What's with the box?" Dan struggled to seem happy. The jokes he made with D.J were wearing off.

"Oh it's a present." Dan's doctor who had been in the corner of the room stepped forward.

"I do believe the doc gets to open this for me. You know there's the whole risk of me cutting myself…" Dan joked again finding a revival of small temporary happiness but the doctor took the box and peeked inside while biting his tongue to keep from laughing. The doctor decided that Dan was sad about his wife and having to stay in the hospital but he was doing a good job of coping.

The doctor handed the box to Dan and Dan opened it, and pulled out a small teddy bear that was wearing a leather jacket with the word HARLEY printed on it in small letters and a Chicago Cubs hat. Attached to the bears paw were five cards forming a strait.

"Anne Marie saw this and thought of you." Chuck said a little embarrassed.

"A Poker Playing and Harley Driving Cubby. Yep that's me." Dan held the bear and then placed it on the table next to his bed.

The two men fell into an uncomfortable silence until Chuck was able to put what he wanted to say into words.

"Listen Dan if there is anything you need or want I'm here for you man."

"I know, Chuck and I appreciate it." Dan and Chuck shook hands. Then D.J. appeared and Chuck decided it was time for him to leave.

"I'm sorry Dan; I got to get to work…" Suddenly Chuck felt bad for saying that since normally Dan would be going to work with him.

"Yeah that prison won't drywall itself" Dan said and then added "Hey will Mark be there?"

"Uh, I don't know. He hasn't called in yet."

"Okay. Bye Chuck." Chuck left the room, and D.J. came in and sat on the bed with his dad and they watched TV.

At the Conner house hold Darlene woke up, and for a split second forgot how she ended up in her old room in the basement. She felt like crap when she remembered. She got out of bed and made her way up stairs and to the kitchen.

She found her aunt Jackie at the kitchen table spoon feeding Jerry applesauce.

"Can you believe he's on his third jar?" Jackie asked.

"He is his father's son." Darlene said looking in the fridge for something to eat.

The phone rang and Darlene answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi Darlene." Said David on the other side.

"Oh David. Why aren't you at work?" Darlene asked.

"I asked for a few days off so I could drive up there with you."

"You did? You don't have too."

"I know, but I want to be with you and I sort of…."

"Sort of what David?"

"Sort of think of your mom and dad as my parents…"

Darlene went quiet and David became worried he did something wrong.

"Is that okay with you?" David asked softly, so he didn't use a tone that would start a fight.

"Yeah it is. It's just when you say it like that it really feels…real." Darlene's mind spun around. She needed to tell him about her pregnancy but decided to wait to tell him in person.

"Hey David, I'm sorry but I need to get off in case Dad calls."

"I understand. I love you Darlene, I'll be there by two."

"Love you too, Bye."

Darlene hung up the phone and then turned around to Jackie.

"Jackie I need to talk to you about something."

Jackie put the small jar of apple sauce down and turned to face Darlene.

"Is it about your mom?"

Darlene looked down at the table. It was really hard for her to talk about her feelings suddenly.

"I'm pregnant." Darlene said, watching Jackie's expression go from depressed to in shock to amazement.

"That's great Darlene. Congratulations!" Jackie said this even though she didn't think Darlene felt it was a good thing. "Are you okay?"

Darlene went quiet again. "I was happy when I found out. So happy I wanted to tell David then come here and tell mom and dad."

"Why didn't you tell David?" Jackie asked gently.

"I wanted to tell mom first, because I wasn't sure of the right way to tell David. I was afraid if I just went ahead and told David that he wouldn't be able to hide his fear of my parents from my parents and then my mom would figure it out and it'd all go down from there. I mean I knew that this would be hard for my dad to take, especially after what happened when Becky and Mark ran off and got married."

"And now you think you won't be able to tell your dad?" Jackie asked, seeing where this was going.

"Yeah, I mean I was sort of looking forward to having this talk with my mom. With mom here she would be able help dad get through this. I want me and David to get married if we're going to have a baby." Darlene admitted.

"Darlene, you don't have to get married just because you're pregnant."

"I know, but I think of every option we'd have if we got married. And it just makes sense. David could cover the baby, on his insurance and we could move into married student housing and I could take on a part time job at home as a copyrighter. "

Jackie listened everything Darlene said made sense. She had everything figured out.

"Well, to me it sounds like you're mature enough to make the right decision,_ as long as_ you make it with David. But remember your dad loves you and right now he's sitting in that hospital thinking he is responsible for your mom's death."

"How do you think we should tell him?" Darlene asked, suddenly missing her mom more than ever.

"Tell him by yourself, and probably as soon as possible. That way all those drugs they're feeding him will help him…emotionally." Jackie said it like she was joking despite being serious. Dan freaked out when Becky ran away from home and married Mark. In fact it took him almost a month before he talked to Becky again. If Darlene was about to the man he was going to be a grandfather, then telling him when he was on happy pills would be the best way.


	5. Jackie's last words to Roseanne

Becky, Mark, Darlene, and Jackie, who was holding Jerry, arrived at the hospital to find D.J. sitting in the waiting room. Jackie wanted to know why he wasn't with his dad.

"The doctor had to leave. But he said he'd try to find someone to stay in the room so we could see dad." D.J. said rubbing Jerry's little hand to show his brother he loved him.

Becky looked in the window and saw her dad eating the Snickers and felt happy. Her dad seemed to be back to himself.

Jackie, handed Jerry to Becky and then started to walk away from the group. "I'm going to see what I can find out about your mom. We really need to start…making plans." Like everyone else in the family Jackie was forcing herself to bury her sadness and be strong for everyone else. It was taking every ounce of energy she had to not drive to the LOBO Lounge and get so drunk on tequila that she forgot her sister died. She didn't because she knew that with her mom thrown out of the house, and Dan unable to come home yet, and a baby to take care of, she couldn't be a nervous wreck like when her dad died. All her life she acted like the way she acted because Roseanne was there to let her.

It wasn't until Dan told her that he loved her that Jackie realized she was going to have to grow up real quick and learn to live without Roseanne. The minute that Jackie figured that out she decided that the best way to get through this was to go all the way as the strongest person in the family. So Jackie walked to the help desk.

"Excuse me my sister passed away yesterday and I want to know what I should do to make arrangements for the funeral." Jackie said, as strongly as she could.

"You'll have to talk to the coroner about that. Go to the basement, his office is right to the left of the elevator. If he's not in there's a switch on the wall. Flip it and wait a minute. He'll be there as soon as possible."

Jackie shook her head then went to the elevator and rode it to the basement. She went into the coroner's office and found him filling out paper work at his desk.

"Excuse me doctor?" she said, as the older man wearing thick glasses looked up at her.

"Hello. Is there something I can do?" The coroner asked.

"Yes. Um my sister passed away last night and I wanted to talk to you about making arrangements for the funeral."

The coroner had a sullen look and he became very sympathetic. "Oh yes I am sorry for your loss. Can I have you're sisters name please?"

"Roseanne Harris Conner." As Jackie said this the coroner's expression changed.

"Um I'm sorry but someone else has taken care of the arrangements."

Jackie became immediately confused and worried.

"Who?" She asked, already imagining the subject.

The coroner looked at a paper on his desk. "A Misses Beverly Harris?"

Jackie was not surprised at all surprised by this. She began to feel emotional again, but prevented it to show.

"May I know what arrangements she made?"

The coroner looked at the paper again. "Miss Harris was going to make arrangements with Sorrow Heart funeral home and then have me send Misses Conner's body there on Friday,"

"Thank you doctor that sounds good. May I see my sister please?"

The coroner nodded and Jackie followed him through autopsy. The coroner pulled open a door to the cooler and pulled the slab out. Roseanne's body was covered with a white sheet. Taking a deep breath Jackie asked to her face and the coroner pulled the sheet down.

Roseanne's eyes were closed, and she was badly bruised, but Jackie could definitely tell this dead person was her sister. Somehow Jackie felt there was a chance that Roseanne wasn't really dead, but that was just blind hope. Jackie chose to see Roseanne so that she could make peace with herself and move on, which is exactly what she did.

"Roseanne, you were the best sister anyone could have. You always tried to make my life better, even when it annoyed me. You were also the best mom that D.J. Becky, Darlene, and Jerry could have even though that annoyed them. I will be the first to admit that I've wondered to myself why Dan married you, and why you married Dan but I realize you two married out of love, and I hope that if I ever decide to remarry I hope to be able to copy you're marriage because I know it was a good one, even when Dan was sleeping on the couch. I have had many bad relationships and you knew me enough to know it was because of dad, so you were always trying to help me get close to guys and I want to thank you for that. I also want thank you for getting me out of that relationship with Fisher. I promise I will help Dan out with the boys and try to repair my relationship with mom…if I don't end up killing her first." Jackie spoke quickly but got out everything she wanted to say, and it made her feel like her life could go on now and that is what she needed.

When Jackie returned to the second floor she found everyone visiting Dan in his room. Dan was holding Jerry up on the bed between his knees and playing with him. Dan looked happy even with a big African American orderly standing near the bed away from the crowd watching Dan's every move.

"He's a big strong Conner man. You're gonna be a quarterback for the Chicago Bears, Jerry, yes you are…" Dan said in the way he talks to babies.

Darlene looked at D.J. "He used to say that to you…" Darlene was making fun of D.J. which meant that things were getting somewhat back to normal.

D.J. sneered back at D.J. "He's said that to Little Ed _and _Andy."

"Andy isn't a Conner."

"No with Andy he said "You're gonna make you uncle proud and become a quarterback for the Chicago Bears, Andy, yes you are…"

"Typical." Darlene said.

Mark noticed the Harley bear. "Hey Dan, who got you that?"

It took a minute for Dan to realize Mark was talking to him and when he did he answered; "Oh that? Chuck came by earlier and gave it to me. He said it reminded Anne Marie of me. Go figure." Dan was joking, while also watching the clock. It was 11:20 so he knew he only had forty minutes before he was transferred.

The doctor came back, and the orderly left.

"He looks a lot like you, Mr. Conner." The doctor said, as Darlene picked up her brother.

"Yeah, he eats like me too." Dan's eyes shifted from the clock to the doctor and then to each of his kids. His kids took his hint and left the room. Jackie tried to follow but Dan asked her to stay. When the door closed and Jackie and the doctor were alone with Dan again, Dan said; "He's moving me to the psychiatric ward. If I can go until tomorrow without throwing trays at the wall, I can go home tomorrow night. If a psychiatrist clears me." Dan said looking the doctor in his eyes.

The doctor interjected with "I'm sure you'll go home tomorrow." He said, gently hitting Dan on his leg.

"That makes me feel good." Dan said, honestly.

Jackie was happy that Dan was feeling happy and coping well even if it was because of medication, but she had to tell him about her mom.

"I visited with the coroner, and he said that mom had already made arrangements with a funeral home."

Dan went quiet again. "What?"

Jackie went quiet again too but spoke again when she found the right way to tell Dan that they kicked Bev out of the house. "She could have done that because me and the girls sort of…kicked her out of your house last night."

A smile appeared on Dan's face. "Kicked her out? Bev? Oh man I wish I could've been there. Did she cry?" Dan was really excited.

"Practically. She didn't seem bothered by Roseanne's passing and she might've said some things." Jackie tried beating around the bush, and Dan didn't notice.

"That is amazing. The woman doesn't even care that her daughter was killed in a car accident. Man that really pisses me off…" Dan could feel the anger welling up in inside him, and he realized it was starting to show in front of his doctor and took deep breaths and calmed himself down.

The doctor realized the time and spoke to Dan. "I think now would be a good time to get dressed."

Dan shook his head as Jackie handed him Darlene's backpack which had Dan's clothes folded inside it. Dan took the backpack and stood up and hugged Jackie. In her ear he whispered; "Can't get Jerry to sleep? I've found that _Puff the Magic Dragon _helps."

Jackie chuckled and left the room. Dan took the clothes into the small bathroom by the door and changed while the doctor stood near the door with his back to the wall to give Dan privacy.

When Dan came out he wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and his Chicago Bulls hoodie. The doctor was surprised to see that Dan was wearing Nike Tennis shoes with the laces missing.

The doctor gave Dan a strange look. "Oh they took my laces went I went to jail so I figured it would happen again. This way I give up my belt and shoe laces with dignity." Dan handed his doctor the laces and the doctor pocketed them in his lab coat.


	6. Will you give me your last name?

Dan walked with his doctor down the hallways and took many turns until they reached a big door with an enclosed office sitting right next to it.

Dan saw a man and woman sitting in that small place and watched them stare at him.

The doctor shouted "Admitting! Conner!" and the door opened. Dan followed his doctor in and an older lady standing inside the doorway met with them and took Dan's back pack and told him nicely to follow her. She was nice but hurried, and Dan did what he was told. He turned back and wave goodbye to his doctor

The lady led to him to a tiny office and told him to sit in the chair in front of the desk, which Dan did.

Dan just watched as the mystery lady dumped all of the contents of the backpack on her desk and searched through them.

"My name is Marjorie Intman. I am the head nurse on this ward. Follow the rules and don't make trouble, and believe me your stay here will be pleasant, even if you're eval is up tomorrow at 4. Ever had a manicure?"

Nurse Intman went from stern to perplexing in 2.0 seconds sharp. Dan didn't know what to say. "Uh, my kids used to paint my fingernails when I fell asleep on the couch…" He said, thinking specifically of Becky when she was an only child

Nurse Intman found this funny but told Dan to let her see his hands. The lady went work clipping his nails, and Dan was thankful she was careful to not cut one too short.

Dan wanted to say something as she worked, but couldn't think of something to say that would sound appropriate so he said nothing.

When Nurse Intman was done, Dan inspected her work, as she pulled a clipboard off a peg on the wall.

"These questions are just for us to evaluate you, please answer the best of your ability. Ready?" Dan shook his head yes. "Okay do you have any history of mental illness in your family?"

Dan thought of his mom and said yes.

"Would you describe yourself as a happy person?"

Without thinking Dan said "When I drink." And it made Dan feel self-conscious and wonder if the medicine he took earlier had truth serum.

The nurse didn't say anything but wrote his answer down.

"What would you say the happiest day of your life was?" Dan thought about it but counted 4.

"Actually I have four." He said.

"Oh yeah? What are they?"

"The births of my kids."

This interested the nurse. "What are their names?"

Dan ratted off their names with no problems. "Rebecca, Darlene, David Jacob, and Jerry Garcia, although we call Rebecca Becky and David Jacob D.J."

"Two of each? You got lucky."

"Is that what it's called?" Dan joked.

"All right back to this. Do you drink?"

Dan chose his words carefully. "Yeah."

"As much as the next person, or more?"

This question caused Dan to look back and realize that he may have a drinking problem.

He answered, "Maybe more."

The nurse just nodded and wrote his answer down.

"What would you say the saddest day of your life is?"

Dan took only a second to answer. "The day I found out that my mom has had schizophrenia all my life and my parents never told me."

The nurse watched Dan's face as he said this and she could see the sadness the though caused him.

"How did you find out?" Nurse Intman could see it was on his mind now and now she wanted him to tell her about it.

"I went to take my mom five hundred dollars because my dad wouldn't pay it and I found her standing in the rain. She had no idea who I was, so I drove her to…" Dan looked around. "…A place like this. I got really drunk that night and then my wife explained to me that my mom had been mentally ill all my life."

David arrived at 714 Delaware Street imagining a house full of crying people; instead he found Darlene and Becky sitting on the couch in front of the TV, Jackie on the phone in the kitchen, and Mark covered in grease washing his hands in the kitchen sink. Jerry was sitting between his sisters and David wondered where Andy was.

"With Fred." Becky said without taking her eyes off the screen.

David felt a little bad about how no one seemed to be grieving, Darlene saw that on his face.

"We're sad, David we just don't know how to deal with it, I mean with a dead mom and a dad and grandma in the loony bin." Darlene said, to acknowledge David.

David ignored Darlene because he knew that sarcasm was her way to cope. He was thirst so he went to the kitchen. To his surprise Darlene caught up with him and took his hand and led him to the basement. David was amazed but let her.

Once they were in the basement and the door was closed she sat him down right next to him.

"David, I'm pregnant."

David went very quiet and still as head was about to explode. After a minute of silence he asked, "Does your dad own a gun?"

Darlene answered with a wisecrack. "Not since mom pointed it at him." It was sad that David actually believed her. "No he doesn't, but I think he knows how to use one." Darlene knew David's reason for asking him and so she set him at ease. "Dad won't kill you. He believes that both parents should be a part of their kids' lives, luckily for you."

David went quiet again until he asked, "When did this happen?"

"Disney World!" Darlene was happy to announce.

"Oh god! You mean during the fireworks?"

"Yep, or it truly is a magic kingdom."

"How will we tell your dad?

"I was thinking we could tell him at the wedding reception."

David froze again. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

"David can I have your last name?"

David choked down tears while embracing Darlene and the two made out.


	7. Dan

While Darlene and David were in the basement, Jackie decided to take a shower and so Becky took Jerry outside because it was surprisingly warm. She found Mark on his back underneath her dad's truck.

"What are you doing to dads truck Mark?" Becky asked sitting on the picnic table with Jerry balanced on her knee.

"I noticed it took you're dad a few tries to get it started. I'm trying to fix it for him." Mark said defensively. Of all the people in the family, Mark didn't know how to help out. So he decided to do the one thing he was good at: fixing cars.

"That's so sweet." Becky smiled in awe.

"Yeah well it's the only thing I can think to do." Mark admitted.

Becky looked around the backyard as memories of playing outside with her mom yelling at her to come in filled her head. She remembered the Valentines BBQ that her mom threw and pulling into the backyard in a Mustang driven by Mark and how her mom watched her and Mark kiss disgusted and when her mom caught her making out with "The Make out King" on the picnic table while Jimmy Meltreiger's parents were their guests. And she wanted to cry.

"Mark… I miss her so much…" Mark was still under the truck but he crawled out and hugged her without touching her with his hands because they were all greasy. Becky hugged him back with one arm and used the other to hold Jerry.

"I know Beck. I kind of miss her too."

Darlene and David came up from the basement and looked in the living room to find it empty. David noticed that Becky, Mark and Jerry were in the backyard. Darlene looked around again, and realized she hadn't seen D.J. since they got home. She also noticed that the family photo was missing from on top of the liquor cabinet behind the couch.

Darlene left David in the kitchen without a word and made her way to her old room/D.J.'s new room. DJ was on his back on his bed looking at the framed photo; Darlene could see he had been crying.

"I miss her too D.J." Darlene admitted, sitting on the bed next to him.

"Five years." D.J. said like an explanation that made no sense. Darlene's face showed confusion and D.J. added; "It's been five years since the last time mom called me David Jacob."

Darlene put her hand on D.J.'s leg. "That's a good thing."

D.J. shook his head in agreement but continued talking even though he felt odd about bringing up the next subject. "I started crying because I feel worse about Dad than about mom dying."

Darlene had felt the same way so hearing DJ say it made her feel better. "You do?"

"I don't think that I should feel like this." D.J was speaking in a way that made Darlene know how grown up he had become. She looked at her brother, and flicked her head to get her hair out of her face, a habit she couldn't break.

"D.J. mom is gone forever, just like Grandpa Harris. But Dad will be here to finish raising you and start raising Jerry." Darlene found that she was beginning to just speak gibberish so she made she decided to lie. "Your subconscious realizes that Dad is still a part of your life so it's focusing on him. I learned about this in my Psychology class." D.J. maintained eye contact with his sister and could tell she was lying, but let it go because if how he felt was wrong his sister would've told him. Darlene suddenly knew DJ didn't believe her so she added; "Besides I feel like that too."

"You do?" Now it was DJ's turn.

"Yeah, and it makes me feel bad. Badder than when I secretly wondered if we wouldn't get as good Christmas presents because Grandpa Harris died." D.J. could see his sister's sadness so he joked.

"You wondered that too?" They both laughed, as Darlene admired her brother's posters.

"God D.J. are you getting a poster for every Spielberg movie? If so you're missing _Always _and _The Flintstones." _Darlene said before she stood up and the left the room. (Get the joke?)

Darlene walked down the stairs and found Jackie on the couch, towel drying her hair.

When Jackie noticed her Darlene sat down in the chair in front of the electric fireplace.

"So did you tell David?"

"Yep."

"What'd he say?"

Darlene smiled, "He asked if dad has a gun."

Jackie smiled too imagining David's concern. "You tell him not since you're mom pointed it at him?"

"Yep. I think David took it well." Darlene said, having expected him to take it worse.

"Well anyone could've taken it better than your dad." Jackie said, realizing that she may have said the wrong thing. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"No it's ok Jackie. How did Dad take it?"

"Well he sort of stopped."

"Stopped what?"

Jackie looked for the right word. "Everything? When he found out your mom was pregnant with Becky, his head was so high in the clouds you're mom considered stealing a fire truck so she could climb the ladder and knock him back into his senses with a frying pan." Jackie, of course was, exaggerating but she did remember how Dan was like a zombie for two weeks straight when he was told he was going to be a father.

"How did he react when he found out about me?"

Jackie scrunched up her face. "Uh, don't really know. He and Becky disappeared for a day and you're mom considered going to the police. Eventually he showed back up with Becky. To this day we don't know where he took Becky, all we know is nothing was wrong with your sister so we know your dad was careful."

This astonished Darlene. "You mean dad just walked off with Becky without a word and she _didn't _call the police?"

"Well you're mom had gotten sick of being the only one to take care of Becky so she figured if your dad wanted Becky to himself he could have her to himself. " When Jackie said that, Darlene thought that sounded exactly like her mom.

"Wow that is sooo Mom."

"That's what I thought."

At the Fulton County Hospital Psychiatric Ward Dan was led by a scrawny man in a dress shirt and kaki's to a long rectangular room that was about half the size of his room at home. In the room there were two twin beds one each side of the room, and a two drawer dresser between them. On the dresser there was a reading lamp on each side and at the foot of the beds there was a small desk and chair. Dan looked at the room and then the man. "You're bed is the one on the right. This door never closes, and lights out is at 9 sharp. Take the clothes from that backpack and put them in the bottom drawer. Hang the backpack up on that hook." The man pointed a row of four hooks on the wall on the right. "Make your bed in the morning. Do NOT pack up until the paper saying you can leave is signed. Here is a mandatory list of things to do." The man who Dan thought was bossy, handed Dan the list and stood there while Dan looked it over.

8 am Wake up

8:15 am roll call

8: 30 am breakfast

9: 15 am medicine time

9:30 am Group Therapy

10:30 am outside recreation (weather permitting)

11:45 am Lunch

12:30 pm roll call

12:45 pm Individual Therapy (At this time you may use the dayroom if it is not you're turn)

3 pm outside recreation (weather permitting)

4 pm art therapy

5:30 pm Day room activities

6:45 Dinner

7:30 medicine

8 showers

9 pm Lights out

Note: Smoking is allowed outside, and during dayroom activities and outside recreation ONLY.

Patients who miss an activity without the authorization of a nurse or doctor will be subject to a loss of privileges.

Loss of privileges can happen if a patient fails to eat at all three meal times, patients are found to be gambling (poker included), is found smoking indoors, patients are found to be "cheeking" or spitting out their medication, patients found to be consuming alcohol, or patients found outside of the ward.

Dan read all this and was happy to find listed three square meals and recreation times, but unhappy about the no alcohol and poker rule. Oh well he thought, I'll survive.

It was now 2 pm so the bossy man gave him a tour of the ward (the ward was really small, and the day room had six tables, two couches, a TV in the corner, a ping pong table, shelves filled with books and board games aligning the walls, and an open area with foldable chairs for group therapy).

After the tour Dan was led to the end of the long hall where the patients' rooms were and was shown the Art Therapy room. The bossy man took Dan inside and then went to a man in a lab coat and said something and left the room. The man in the lab coat went to Dan and held out his hand for a handshake. "Daniel, I am Dr. Meyer. I am the art therapy counselor."

Dan shook the man's hand. "Actually I prefer Dan."

"Okay Dan. Take a seat at any table. Today we're working with crayons."

Dan looked around and saw a spot open. He took it but found himself bumping elbows with the woman to his right. She was left handed.

"What do I draw?" He asked her, taking a blue crayon from the basket in the middle of the table. As a 45 year old man he felt weird using crayons.

"Anything." The woman said coldly

Dan never thought of himself as an artist, and he hadn't truly drawn anything by himself since his senior year of high school. He thought of how good an artist David was…and found himself missing David. So he drew the one thing that he didn't miss because he'd often dreamt of it at the bottom of the Mississippi River; His piece of crap truck.

He pictured the body in relation to the tires, and drew what he saw in his head. He was working on the tailgate when he realized Dr. Meyer was standing behind him.

"That you're truck?" He asked.

Dan felt this was a stupid question, but hid that feeling and shook his head yes.

"That's an interesting thing to draw…" Dr. Meyer said this as he walked away. It bothered Dan that he couldn't tell if it was a bad thing or a good thing.

Dan had finished painting his truck just in time for Art Therapy to be over. The group of patients left the room noisily and ended up in the day room. Dan saw a patient take a deck of cards from a basket on top of a book shelve and made his way toward him.

He was stopped by Nurse Intman. "Conner, you missed Individual Therapy so you're supposed to go and meet with Dr. John right now. Follow me."

For the third time that day Dan followed someone somewhere and ended up in a small office, with lots and lots of books and a man sitting behind a desk whom Dan was positive was smaller than bossy man. Suddenly a thought came across his mind, why did he feel like the Green Giant?

The man was small but older, and had glasses. He motioned for Dan to take a seat and Dan did.

"What do you prefer to be called?" Was his first question.

"Dan."

"Very well, Dan, I have reviewed you're file since your incident yesterday and I have decided to add an extra 24 hours to your evaluation period." Dr. John was stern and instantly unlikable based on how he said that. Dan felt his temper rising but controlled it. _It's not that big a deal, _he told himself.

"Why?" He asked childlike.

"I feel that the time you spent under observation for your head wound may have altered your mental state. I am not adding the time because I feel you are a danger to yourself or others I am only adding it so I can better understand you."

Those words did not sound good to Dan even though they made sense to him.

"Listen doc, I'll admit that I'm not too sure of my 'mental state_', _myself right now. I was in a car accident yesterday, my wife died and when I found that out I got a little hard to handle. I'm sorry about that. Every little thing reminds me of my wife." Dan kept going without stopping. The doctor just sat there still and listened. He felt Dan needed to get all this out, and he was anxious to hear it.

"I had eggs for breakfast and the only thing I could think of is that eggs were the last breakfast me and Roseanne had together, and that was three days ago. _Three days ago_. That made me feel like crap because I should've made a little bit more time in the morning so we could eat together again, instead of hitting the snooze button twice and rushing to go to work. I sat at freaking art therapy and thought of my daughter's boyfriend because he draws good. Every idea I had that I could draw reminded me of someone in my family, and then I started thinking about how that person would be affected by Roseanne's passing and I felt like crap again. My son spent the night in the waiting room last night. He found out from nurses that I was going to be sent here and I didn't want him to know. Again I felt like crap because _that _reminded me of when I found out my mom had been mentally ill all my life and I was never told, because even at 43 years old, my dad wanted it to be a secret."

"This morning my sister in law told me that her and Roseanne's mom made funeral arrangements without consulting anyone so my wife will probably be buried even though we both decided we wanted to be cremated. Actually, I'm kind of glad about that because with me here, Jackie would be left taking care of those arrangements and she shouldn't have to. And I am not letting my kids make those arrangements." Dan took a quick breath, and Dr. John thought he was finished until he continued;

"I told my oldest son I would be home tomorrow and now because of you that won't happen." Dan finally finished, and his body language showed he was content now. Dr. John surmised that Dan giving him the speech he just gave was helpful to Dan. By saying all that Dan was working out his feelings.

"The last part you said, did you say that last because that's your most important thought?'

Dan had expected the clichéd "and how does that make you feel?" so when Dr. John asked his question, Dan felt relieved. He was sure if Dr. John had used that whole cliché he would have wrung the psychiatrists neck.

Dan thought about the answer for a moment. "I guess so."

"Getting home that's Important to you?"

"My kids are dealing with the death of their mom by themselves. I'd like to be with them…" Dan growled. He was losing control of his temper.

Dr. John could see the anger welling up inside Dan and made note of it. He changed the subject. "What was going through your mind when you "got a little hard to handle"?" Dr. John used Dan's words.

Dan had been sitting down and leaning forward. Now he leaned back and sighed. "I don't really remember. All I could think about was seeing Roseanne again."

"Do you remember the nurse?" Dan thought about it.

"No. But I remember throwing the tray and yelling something. I also remember a guy tackling me. He turned out to be my doctor."

"What happened was not you conscious fault. You experienced "Scrimpenski's Phenomenon". It's a rare occurrence, where someone who has just been through a traumatic experience and found out that they were the only survivor, struggles to accept the truth. Their subconscious replaces the truth with fake information and the conscious acts on it. You couldn't accept that you're wife passed away so in your mind, you couldn't see your wife because the nurse was keeping her from you. When you thought the nurse was keeping Rosanne away from you got up from bed in order to see your wife. This phenomenon is a little like survivor's guilt, and the reason you became violent is your brain started secreting adrenaline. It wasn't your fault." Dr. John made sense again, but Dan was skeptical. Not because he thought Dr. John was lying, but because this diagnosis didn't add up to the extra hours.

"So if my mind was feeding me false information and I was acting on it, then why the extra 24 hours? You obviously know why I was violent, and you say it wasn't my fault."

Dr. John admired Dan's summary of his diagnosis. "I was concerned about the answers on your psychiatric intake form. Nurse Intman wrote down that you seemed depressed, and that your body language suggested discomfort when the subject of drinking came up."

Dan couldn't believe his ears. "Wait you're keeping me here because of what I said when I was asked if I drink more than normal?" Dan became self-conscious about his drinking again. _Is my drinking really that big of a problem?_ He asked himself.

"Do you think you have a drinking problem?"

Dan got frustrated. "If I say yes. Do you keep me here?"

"No. I can't keep you here because you have a drinking problem, not legally at least. My job is only to declare whether you're a danger to yourself. And alcoholism isn't covered under danger. Not yet. Does this mean you think you have a drinking problem?"

Dan went quiet and looked at his lace less shoes. "I honestly don't know. Sometimes I don't know why I drink, other times I drink because something is going on and I don't how to handle it, other time's I drink just because there's nothing else I can do." Dan said this while twisting two fingers from his right hand around his ring finger. Normally he was wearing his wedding ring but that was gone. He was so used to wearing it; he didn't notice its absence until now.

The doctor leaned back, feeling they were making progress. "Does drinking make you happy?"

Dan looked back up at the doctor. They made eye contact. "Yeah." He answered, realizing that at the moment, he had a drinking problem.


	8. Bev is thrown out of the houseagain

At 6 o'clock that night the pizza that Darlene arrived and Jackie, Becky, Mark, David, D.J. and Darlene sat at the kitchen table chowing down. Jerry was next to Jackie in his high chair.

Darlene was at the far end of the table, and had a creepy feeling for two reasons. One she was sitting at her dad's spot at the head of the table and two this was the family's first ever meal at the dinner table after her mom died. Also it was the first dinner all those people had eaten at that table without her mom and dad.

The creepy feeling loomed in the air as everyone, sat quietly just eating. Jerry was the noisiest as he gripped his plastic baby spoon and waved it in the air muttering baby gibberish.

The creepy feeling subsided when there was a knock on the door. Jackie stood up and answered it. She grimaced when she realized it was her mother.

"Mother?" Jackie said, and the whole family gathered in the room. DJ took Jerry from the high chair and went in the living room too.

"I've come here because I want to talk to my grandchildren. ALONE." Bev said, her words directed at Jackie.

Jackie went quiet and switched her weight from one leg to the other and crossed her arms. She looked at each of her nieces and nephews and quietly decided to leave the room. Mark and David followed her into Dan and Roseanne's room.

When they were gone, Bev sat on the chair but at the end like she was going to be brief. Bev held her purse in front of her with both her hands.

The kids sat on the couch and glared at their grandma. DJ sat Jerry in his lap, and held him up with his hands under his arms.

"I wanted to talk to you alone because I wanted to know how you all feel about your father taking care of Jerry." The kids all gestured with their hands and sighed in disgust.

"I knew it. I knew it." Becky muttered shaking her head. D.J. glared daggers at Bev.

"Now I know which parent mom inherited her "bitch" gene from…" Darlene said looking at no one in particular.

Bev watched all this in disbelief. "That is not nice, Darlene. Your father is an alcoholic, I will not let five month old grandson be raised by a hopeless alcoholic."

Darlene smiled as her next words formed in her head. "Why not? You let your own kids be raised by a child beater."

Bev sat straighter and grew more sternly. "That was different. _I _was there."

Becky shook her head again. "Your right grandma it was different. But it was also worse because you let your kids get beat."

Bev held her ground, but said through gritted teeth. "That was the past. _I will not let Jerry be raised alone by an alcoholic." _

D.J. moved Jerry off his leg and handed him to Becky in the middle. He stood up defensively.

"Dad is _not _an alcoholic. We learned about Alcoholics in_ DARE _and the cop told us that alcoholics start shaking when they go without drinking and the only way they'll stop shaking is if they drink again. When the cop said that alcoholics drink way more than other people I thought you were right and dad was one until I never saw him start to shake! Besides that mom would never let him be an alcoholic!" DJ was shouting at the top of his lungs and Jackie and the boys came in the living room.

Jackie had a concerned look on her face as she looked at her nieces and nephews.

"Mom what in the hell are you saying to them?" Jackie asked as Bev sat innocently.

D.J. looked at Jackie, but pointed at Bev. "She's saying she won't let Jerry be raised by dad because she says Dad is an alcoholic!" D.J. was still yelling but he had tears in his eyes and voice was cracking.

Jackie's expression went from concerned to anger. She launched forward and pulled her mom by her shirt and led her to Dan and Roseanne's room.

Jackie closed the door. "How dare you call Dan an alcoholic in front of his kids!"

Bev stood there emotionless. "The man is an alcoholic. How can you tell me that he has any business raising a child?" Bev's attitude went unchanged.

"Dan's life is hell. His father married his friend and had kids; he lost his dream with the bike shop and had to go back to drywall, Becky blamed him for everything wrong with her life and ran off and got married, he went to jail, Roseanne wouldn't let him have anything to do with the problems she was having with her pregnancy, he found out that his mom was mentally ill all his life and that was why HE was the one that had to commit her to a mental hospital. Dan may drink to cope with all of this but he isn't an alcoholic."

Bev replayed Jackie's recount of Dan's life in her mind and zeroed in on one thing in particular. "Dan went to jail?"

Jackie rolled her eyes and then spun around and exclaimed in anger; "Of course everything I say and you focus _on that. _Dan went to jail, mom, because he beat up the man who beat _me _up. He was only there for one night and the charges were dropped." Jackie took a breath, but added; "The reason he went to jail was more honorable than why _you _went to jail. You accuse him of being a drunk but I never recall him getting arrested for DUI!"

Bev huffed, but remained standing they way she was. "I have may have had an alcohol problem but at least I'm not in denial and realize it."

Jackie shook her head for the millionth time and spoke more quietly. "I cannot believe you mom. Your daughter is dead and you're trying to take her kids away from their dad. You know I have always hated you. Roseanne did the best she could to make me see that there was a good side to you, but I couldn't. I just went with Roseanne all these years because I thought that if I just held out a little longer something would happen and I would see the good in you. It never happened though. It was just like when I was dating Fisher. He'd beat me black and blue but then he'd apologize, and I stayed with him because like you, I was waiting for the good to show. No matter what happened somehow you'd make me feel like crap. Roseanne managed to tell me every time that what you said was you're way of making me feel better, but I always figured you had her snowed. You stand in that living room and tell those kids that their dad is an alcoholic, trying to make Dan out to be the worst father in the world when in reality he's helped give those kids ten times a better life than you gave us. I don't know if you know this but Dan and Roseanne have taken everything their parents did and did the opposite. They didn't believe in beating their kids, or keeping their kids from speaking. Maybe that's why they're little smartasses, but those kids are happy, healthy and are getting college educations. And they don't HATE their parents, like other people." Jackie finished and realized she was sweating and had her hands made into fists.

Bev was about to say something but Jackie spoke before she had the chance. "You know what mom? Just leave and never comeback. If your dead set on taking care of Roseanne's funeral arrangements just know she wanted to be cremated. Dan can't leave the hospital until tomorrow so don't schedule anything until at least Tuesday. Call when you do make the arrangements and I'll see you at the funeral."

Bev said nothing and left the room. She walked through the living room where the kids were sitting down without saying nothing, opened the door and left.

The kids watched and then looked to Jackie for an explanation.

"I kicked her out…again." Jackie took Jerry from David and then sat on the floor with him and absent mindedly played with him.

Everyone just sat there watching TV, with their dinner plates still sitting on the table. No one felt hungry anymore.

At 6:30 Dan sat at a table, surrounded by an extremely skinny Asian man, an African American man of thirty who sucked his thumb, a white guy approximately his height and weight and a redheaded women who seemed to have nothing wrong with her.

Dan began dealing cards to each person. He noticed the man who was his size was shaking uncontrollably in his arm. He looked at it and asked; "Something wrong with your arm buddy?"

The man smiled like it was no big deal. "The Shakes. I get them after I quit drinking."

Dan watched the man's arm shake, and found himself asking. "How long does it take before it starts?"

"Usually two to three days. You fond of the bottle yourself?" The man asked like it was no big deal. Dan became embarrassed; his new poker buddies saw this put their hands on him in comfort.

The red head gave Dan encouraging words. "Don't worry Daniel; this is a place of healing. No one will look down on you. We're here to support you."

"At least that's what they tell us in group therapy." Said the African American man.

The other patients lost interest in Dan. "How would you know? You never go to group therapy!"

A man called for clean-up and the patients put away their stuff and lined up. Dan didn't know why they were lining up but lined up anyway.

He figured out the line was for medicine after the he followed the line to a counter with a sliding window. Nurse Intman had a tray of tiny paper cups with the patient's names next to her as she stood behind the counter. When Dan stood at the counter she took the Cup labeled CONNER, DANIEL and dumped its contents into Dan's palm. He looked at the pills, and decided he didn't want to know what they were for so he didn't ask. He swallowed the pills after Nurse Intman handed him a paper cup filled with water.


	9. Darlene remembers

The next day Dan woke up, stood up, walked out of the door and saw a few patients who weren't even dressed yet sitting at the tables. A few were reading newspapers, but the others were just sitting there doing nothing in particular. He made his bed, and walked to the tables and sat down.

Then something terrible came over him. He started shaking horribly and felt like crap. For the first time in his life he NEEDED a drink. _THAT'S IT. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. _ He thought to himself.

At the Conner house, Becky woke up and rolled out of bed careful to not wake up Mark. She walked down the stairs and found Darlene stirring a pot of oatmeal. Darlene watched her walk into the kitchen and pore herself a cup of coffee. Darlene chuckled to herself.

"What's so funny Darlene?" Becky asked, not seeing what could possibly be funny at a time like this.

"The way you went straight to the coffee maker. It reminded me of dad the morning after I bailed him out of jail."

Becky froze for a second. "Did you just say you bailed Dad out of jail?"

Darlene look go of the pot of oatmeal and pointed a finger at Becky. With a sarcastic tone she said; "Oh yeah, you weren't living in the house when that happened. Dad went to jail, and mom had me bail him out. I wish they let me take a camera in that place because the look on Dads face when he saw I was the one to bail him out was priceless."

Becky stared at her sister. "Why was Dad in jail in the first place?"

Darlene smiled. "That my dear Becky is something you should ask him yourself."

Jerry started crying and Becky started to walk, but Darlene stopped her. "I'll take care of him, you finish the oatmeal."

Dan sat on the bed in his shared room. Nurse Intman handed him medicine. "This will stop the shaking."

He took the pills and the water. "Thank you." He said and laid down. He closed his eyes and waited for the shaking to stop. When it finally stopped, he stayed there until an orderly told him he had a visitor.

In the visiting room he found his dad, with a concerned look on his face, sitting at a table. Dan sat down in front of Ed.

"Why'd you come here dad?"

Ed put his hand on his sons. "I heard what happened. When I called the hospital and asked for you they directed me to the psychiatric ward and some lady explained to me what happened."

Dan got a faraway look on his face. He could've said a lot of different things to his dad but he chose, "I'm an alcoholic dad."

Dan had tears in his eyes and Ed went around the table and hugged his son. "I'm sorry son…"

"I can't go home until tomorrow dad." Dan cried softly.

"I know how that feels." Ed said, looking down at Dan for a change.

"It was a drunk driver, dad. A drunk driver killed Roseanne." Dan found himself sounding like a little kid.

"I'm sorry, Danny, I really am."

Dan and Ed stayed like that until an orderly came. Dan went through the whole schedule the rest of the day in a blur. _Was it the drugs they gave him?_ Probably not.

When it was his turn for individual therapy, Dan met with Dr. John and had some questions.

"What do I do now doc? I am an alcoholic." Dan asked.

"That's up to you. You can always take the steps you need to get sober."

Dan buried his face in his hands and sat leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "How could I get this bad? Why didn't Roseanne see it and make me quit drinking? Why?"

The doctor got up from his desk and moved to the chair next to Dan. He put his hands on Dan's shoulder.

"I never met Roseanne. I can't answer that."

"I have a baby at home. He's not even a year old yet…"

"The better a reason to get sober."

Dan's session was up and he went to his room. Screw the schedule he just wanted to go home. He fell asleep on the bed.

He woke up to Dr. John shaking him. "Dan. I'm releasing you."

Dan was still groggy, and it took a few minutes for those words to register. The doctor continued, "If you want to come back after you're wife's funeral I can arrange for that, on the basis of your insurance company."

Dan looked at Dr. John. He smiled weakly. "What about that other stuff? The shaking?"

"I will write a prescription for pills that will help you get past that. Meanwhile take these." The doctor gave Dan pills and Dan swallowed them without water.

The doctor left and Dan packed, got dressed and made his bed. He walked out of the room to find Dr. John talking to the other patients. When he saw Dan, he came over and handed Dan a prescription and his wedding ring in a Ziploc bag with his shoelaces.

"Thank you, Doc." Dan said as a man opened the door and Dan walked out as the patients told him bye.


	10. A mean Joke on Jackie

After Dan was released, he filled his prescription at the pharmacy and thought about how he'd go home. He decided to surprise his kids and show up at the house without a word. He had no idea if they knew he was supposed to come home today, but he remembered his dad said he would tell his kids it'd be another day so he figured they knew since that was yesterday. He saw a clock on the wall, and it said 9:16.

He called a cab and rode it home. That Ziploc bag also contained his wallet, and house and truck keys. He put Darlene's backpack on his back, with the straps on both his shoulders and put the keys in the hole on his front door. He opened it quietly, and found Jackie asleep on the couch.

He decided that a prank on Jackie would be just the thing to cheer himself up, so he took the backpack off and threw it in the chair by the door and hid on the floor behind the couch.

"Jackie." He called, at a normal tone.

"Jackie." He called again a little louder.

D.J. came down the stairs, and jumped for joy when he saw his dad. Dan put his finger to his mouth and whispered "I'm pulling a prank on Aunt Jackie." DJ smiled devilishly and joined his dad behind the sofa.

"Jackie." He called louder.

"Jackie!" Jackie woke up and looked around the room, thinking she heard Dan. She tried to go back to sleep when Dan did it again. "Jackie!"

This time Jackie flew off the couch thinking she was going crazy. When she saw Dan behind the couch she said, "Damn it Dan. That was not nice!"

Dan was laughing uncontrollably as he stood up. Jackie could tell he was laughing so hard it hurt him.

"You're right it wasn't nice. But you gotta understand Jackie; I haven't done anything fun in four days." Dan struggled to say while laughing.

Jackie found herself laughing too. She went over and hugged Dan. "I thought you couldn't come home until tonight." She said.

"Yeah, I thought that too." Dan looked at D.J. and he got the picture and went back up stairs.

"I woke up yesterday, and got the shakes…" He said quietly, looking at his still freshly laced shoes (he laced them up in the cab).

"Oh my god Dan, I didn't realize it was that bad." Dan shook his head.

"Join the club."

All the laughter left both of them. Jackie put her fingernails in her mouth and absent mindedly bit them.

"Why didn't you stay in until you got through the withdrawal?" Jackie learned about alcoholics at the Police Academy, so she understood that it could anywhere from five to ten days for an alcoholic's body to fully withdrawal from the stuff.

"I had to be here, with you guys. The doc gave me a prescription for something to help me with the symptoms." Dan looked away from Jackie again. "He also told me that if I wanted to get sober, I could go back because of my insurance."

Jackie studied Dan. "Do you want to?"

Dan didn't know. "I'd be leaving the boys…"

"You'd be leaving them so that you could take steps to become a better father."

Jackie watched Dan shake his head but turn around slowly and make his way up the stairs. He said nothing and Jackie started to fold the blanket on the couch.

Dan found DJ in Jerry's room, playing his Gameboy in Jerry's rocking chair.

"What's wrong with your room?" Dan asked, putting his palm on Jerry's forehead gently.

"Mark and Becky are sleeping there. I slept here last night." Jerry wasn't awake yet so Dan left him alone.

"I'm sorry I ended up taking another day, Deej."

"That's okay dad. I'm just glad you're back. What you did to Jackie was awesome. That's something mom would've done."

Dan laughed. "You think so?"

D.J. followed Dan down the stairs. He should've taken a shower (Dan was aware he needed a shower, but figured right now it wasn't that important.) Instead Dan got the days newspaper from outside and then sat down at his place at the table. Dan wanted to see how the rest of his family would react to his homecoming.

The first to come up was David. He was sleepy, but he sat at the table anyway. He looked up real quick and then looked down. It took about ten seconds before he realized he saw Dan.

"Mr. Conner! When did you get here?" David was happy to see Dan hugged him. Dan had often been uncomfortable when being hugged by David. But today he didn't.

"Oh about thirty minutes ago." Jackie came in.

"What do you want for breakfast?" She asked Dan.

"Anything but eggs." Dan replied.


	11. The death of David Healy

After David the next person to come to the kitchen was Becky. She took one look at her dad and ran to him. Dan had to brace himself to keep from falling over in his chair.

Becky hugged him surprisingly hard. "Honey, daddy needs to breath!" He said to her, acting like she was a little kid.

"Sorry." Becky let go, and sat in the chair next to David.

"I thought you weren't coming home until tonight Dad." Dan leaned back in his chair and held out his hands.

"Well so did I."

Jackie put a plate stacked with French toast on the table. Dan, Becky, David and D.J. all grabbed a plate and took two slices. Jackie gave everyone a cup and filled the glasses with orange juice.

When Dan reached for the plate, he felt something in his pocket. He took it out and realized it was the picture he drew of his truck. He handed it to David.

"Here David, I drew you something." David unfolded it and got a weird look across his face.

"It's a picture of your truck…" David said puzzled.

"In crayon!" Dan said obnoxiously happy. The others looked at Dan oddly, that was strange.

David folded the piece of paper and put in his pocket. He was oddly touched by Dan's present.

Darlene came in next. She saw her dad and just looked at him. "Hi dad." She said, aware that everyone was staring at her.

Dan stood up to mess with her. "Awe Darlene…" He hugged her. Again he was acting strange.

"I love you dad." She said in his ear.

"I love you too." He said.

Jerry started to cry so Dan went upstairs to take of him.

Once he left the room, everyone stared at each other.

"That was just…weird." David said afraid to use any other word.

"Yeah I know. Dad can be weird sometimes, but that thing with the picture was just creepy…"

David looked at Darlene. "You didn't tell him did you?" David started to think Dan's strange behavior with the picture was some odd response to him and Darlene's big announcement.

Darlene snarled. "No David I did not."

"Tell him what?" DJ asked.

Jackie quickly changed the subject. "Geez, is Mark going to sleep all day?" She asked

The family brushed that off and ate. Jackie saw that there was no way she made enough French toast for everyone so she went to work on another batch.

Dan took Jerry out of his crib. "Shhh….It's okay baby. Daddy's here." He said carrying Jerry to the changing table. He took off his son's pajamas and started to change his diaper.

Mark walked in enough to see it was Dan. He leaned against the door frame watching Dan.

"I'm glad you're back Dan." Dan looked at Mark. Then grabbed Jerry's Chicago Cubs onesie and put it on him.

That onesie had gone from Becky to Darlene to D.J. and then Jerry. One time he put it on Little Ed after he couldn't resist the urge to put it on all the new Conner kids. Another time he couldn't fight the urge and put it on Angelina, but he quickly took it off her since Roseanne told him that Crystal was coming a minute later.

Mark saw that Dan's mind was somewhere else and went downstairs. "I'm glad you're dad is back." He said to Becky who was chewing French toast.

"Me too." She said with her mouth full.

Darlene had eaten her breakfast quickly and headed up stairs while she knew her dad was alone. She wasn't looking forward to telling her dad the big news but she knew she had too.

Dan had just done the last button on the onesie, after serious resistance from Jerry who was a well flexible wiggle warm.

Dan looked at Darlene and smiled. He picked Jerry up and carried him on his shoulder.

"Dad I need to talk to you." Dan studied Darlene's face and new it was bad news. Throughout the years he had grown a sixth sense when it came to his kids. Although his sixth sense had nothing on Roseanne's.

"Oh yeah? What about?" Dan just stood there and spoke with a sort of naive tone.

Darlene could find no words to make it easy on her dad she just came out with it, ready to pounce if the shock of it all caused him to drop Jerry.

"Dad I'm pregnant."

Dan's reaction was very controlled. He said nothing and carried Jerry downstairs and to the kitchen. He gently and carefully placed Jerry in his high chair and then asked David to follow him. David was understandably scared, but did what he was asked.

Everyone watched these events unfold in disbelief. Would Dan kill David? That was everyone's question. Jackie remembered how screwed up Fishers face looked after Dan beat him up, but then she remembered the talk they had in the bedroom and felt better because Dan expressed remorse for his actions.

At the same time Darlene remembered the time her dad caught her and David making out in the basement after he kicked David out of the house. Her dad lost control and took David and yelled at him while smacking him on the head before he launched David in to the door. David's only saving grace was her mom.

Dan thrust open his truck door and David climbed in imagining his very painful death at the hands of the same man who once kicked him out of his house for living with his daughter in Chicago. David slid across the seat scared out of his mind.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god." He muttered crying.

Dan leaned over and put his hand on David's shoulder. This made David jump violently.

"Relax." Dan commanded firmly holding his palm flat in the air to signify David was safe. "I aint going to kill you. I think that both parents should be a part of their kid's life." This settled David down as he realized that's exactly what Darlene said.

"You're not?" David was skeptical.

"No. Felt like it for a split second, though." Dan had his hands on the steering wheel but didn't start the truck.

"Then why did you manhandle me?" David's tone changed from scared witless to gruff and brave.

Dan thought it over for a minute. "You see David; I am a 6 foot three and 310 pound man with two daughters. I have to do _something_ physical to keep myself from doing something worse…" David listened, but this explanation made no sense to him.

David's conscience told him that saying this next thing was a bad idea, but David said it anyway thinking he was still a man on death row.

"You seem to do something physical to me a lot." Dan stared at him expressionless and then pulled his truck keys from his pocket and started the truck. He said nothing until he was pulling out of the driveway.

"You're right David. But that's because you're unfortunate enough to be closer to me than drywall every time Darlene is concerned."

When Dan said that it made sense to him why he could see marks on the walls by Dan and Roseanne's bedroom where it looked like they'd been repaired many times.

Dan drove without saying anything to David. David became concerned that they were driving in the direction of the Mississippi River.

Dan's demeanor had changed from mad man who was dragging David to calm man who was completely cooled down. Still David was defensive. David remembered a movie about a 1930's screen writer who moves into a hotel in L.A. The man befriends his neighbor, a very likable and energetic salesman who reminded David of Mr. Conner. In the movie people begin disappearing and dying and the killer turns out to be the guy's neighbor at the hotel. The neighbor goes crazy and lights the place on fire and kills two police officers, before going into his room like it was any other day even though the fire was raging.

David had seen that movie, and thinking that the killer looked (and sounded) like Mr. Conner had given him nightmares even though despite a few certain events, Mr. Conner had treated David like a son.

Dan pulled off the highway and drive to a subdivision. David was perplexed while the feeling of impending doom left him because surely Mr. Conner wouldn't kill him here?

Dan parked in a strange driveway hopped out, went to the door, and knocked. A lady answered and seemed happy to see Dan. Dan went in and didn't come back for another ten minutes. David used this time to consider his options, but decided to stay despite both the good angel and the devil telling him to RUN!

Dan came back out holding a small metal box. David had a strange feeling as to what was inside the box but tried to not to think about it because Darlene said her dad knew how to use one…

Dan started the truck and pulled out of the driveway. He drove for 45 minutes until they reached a patch of woods. Dan got out and when David didn't because he was frozen with fear, Dan went to the passenger side door and opened it. David climbed out of the truck; sure his life was coming to a quick, bloody, painful end…

Back at the house, the sisters, Jackie, Mark and D.J. paced and fidgeted.

"Shouldn't we call the police?" Mark asked sure his brother was a goner.

"Dad won't kill David." Darlene said matter of factly.

"How are you so sure, Darlene?" Marked asked, getting in Darlene's face.

"He wouldn't do that to me." Darlene said without changing her attitude.

"Do you think dad will kill David?" DJ asked Jackie.

Jackie remembered the stuff that she talked about with Dan. Dan did have a lot on his mind…

Meanwhile Dan put his arm around David and carried the black box in his other hand. David just walked quickly remembering the best memories he had.

When they came upon an open field with cans and soda bottles and all kids of targets at the other end, David wondered if _he _was to be a target.

He waited for Dan to take him to the other side but Dan let him go and opened the black box. To David's horror he took out a pistol.

"Oh god you are going to kill me!"

Dan shook his head. "I am not to going to kill you David. This is a clip." Dan held up a clip of rounds. "You put rounds in the clip and then snap the clip into the handle." Dan demonstrated as he spoke. David became confused at Dan's intentions.

"Now a round is the bullets. Not all guns take the same caliber of bullets, and not all guns have the same amount of bullets per rounds. After you put the clip in the handle you cock it like this." Dan cocked the pistol. "I assume you know how to fire." Dan pointed the gun at a distant target and fired. David fell on the ground, from both surprise and the impact of the echo.

Dan held the gun in his hand and lowered it with it pointed away from himself and David.

"Your turn David." David swallowed. He was led to believe that it was his turn to fire the gun, but there was also the possibility that Dan meant it was his turn to be the target.

Dan held the pistol by the barrel with the handle towards David. David stood up and took it shaking.

David's shaking reminded Dan of him, but made him thinking about that. "David I AM NOT going to kill you." Dan said slowly.

David suddenly believed him and stopped shaking. Dan put his arm on David's back to keep David from falling back from the force of the gun. David pulled the trigger and the gun did nothing.

"Cock it, David." David took his left hand and cocked the gun. When it clicked David held the gun up and pointed it at a rubber target that was made to represent a duck. David swallowed again and started sweating. David pulled the trigger.

The sound from the gun echoed through the woods. David lost his balance but was kept up by Dan.

He looked at Dan, holding the gun down and away from himself.

Dan took the gun from David and placed it back in the box. Dan stood up again and put his arm on Davids shoulder.

"Sorry I made you wet yourself David." Dan said, and the two men walked back to the truck. David smiled as he realized he did all that worrying him to death for nothing.

"What just happened, David happened to me in 1974 when Mr. Harris learned that Roseanne was pregnant. _I _was led out of the door by shirt;_ I _was left in a truck by myself to think of an escape plan_; I_ was fooled into thinking I was going to be used as target practice. You see David. Mr. Harris was teaching me how to protect my family. Which I've now taught you."

The family was still fighting on whether or not to call the police when Dan and David came through the door. Their faces expressed no emotion whatsoever, Darlene grabbed David's chin and moved it from left to right, searching his face for distinguishable marks. Darlene saw no marks, and then studied his hands. "Take off your shirt David, I want to see the belt marks." Dan glared at his daughter.

"I did not hurt him." Dan said defensively.

"He's right he didn't." David said.

Mark came over to his brother. He looked into his brothers eyes, said nothing and walked away.

D.J. also looked at David close up. "We thought you were so dead."

Jackie just watched this and asked to talk to Dan in the bedroom. "What'd you do Dan?"

Dan smiled smugly. "Why is everyone convinced I'd kill my daughter's boyfriend?" He said sitting at the foot of his bed.

Jackie just looked down at her brother in law. Dan was still smiling, and Jackie gave up and walked out of the room.


	12. Leon Visits

After his talk with Jackie, Dan took a shower. He took a long, hot and really good shower. As the water dripped off him, everything that had been going on in his life filled his head, the accident, his talk with D.J, the Psych Ward, Art Therapy, the shaking, his talks with Dr. John, the drama brought by Bev. He had so much on his mind that when he looked at himself he realized he still had cuts on his skin. He remembered that nurse saying he was cut by the windshield. The cuts were healing nicely and scabs were starting to form. Dan took a bar of soap and ran it on the biggest of his cuts, trying to clean it out, even though it seemed that there was no infection.

While Dan was in the shower, Jackie called Fred to check on Andy, Darlene and David went to the store, and Becky played with Jerry while Mark rushed to fix one last thing on Dan's truck.

There was a knock on the door. When Becky answered it she found Leon, holding a pan of something.

"Hi, Becky I was just stopping to show my sympathies…" Leon said.

"Oh well come on in." Becky said pointing into the living room.

Leon was a bit uncomfortable. Roseanne and he were friendly enemies so he couldn't decide if he was deliriously happy or surprisingly sad that Roseanne died.

Becky sensed how Leon was uncomfortable. "Would you like a soda?" Becky asked, as Leon sat down on the couch and absent mindedly handed Jerry random toys, Leon kept his pan in his lap.

Becky went in the kitchen. She whispered to Jackie who had her back to the living room that Leon was there. "Got to go, Fred. Bye." Jackie hung up the phone and went to the living room.

"Leon, what a susprise." Jackie said, as Becky handed Leon a coke can.

"I know it is, but I really do feel bad about Roseanne's passing. I'm sorry about Roseanne." When he finished his sentence, Dan walked in the room towel drying his hair.

"Hi, Leon." Dan said.

Leon looked up at Dan. "Hey Dan. I brought you this." Leon handed Dan the pan. Dan threw the towel in the chair in front of the fireplace, and took the pan and then opened it. He found Rice Crispy Treats.

"Ooh food yummy…" Dan said, salivating. Jackie looked at Dan, concerned about his behavior. "Thank you. Leon." Dan walked into the kitchen and put the pan on the kitchen. Jackie picked up Jerry.

"How's the restaurant?" Jackie asked as Dan opened a drawer, looking for a knife.

"Good. Nancy and I have been pulling overtime." Leon said tiredly.

Becky listened to their conversations but went to her dad who was rifling through the silverware absent mindedly. She stood right next to him looking into his blue eyes. He had no knowledge of her existence. His eyes stayed still, and he seemed to be a million miles away in his head.

"Dad." Becky said. Dan didn't notice and did nothing. "Dad." Still nothing. This time Becky knocked on Dan's head on the spot above the middle of his ear and eye. "Knock! Knock! Anyone home?"

Dan shook his head, and looked at his oldest kid. "I'm sorry. What'd you say?"

"You're lights were on but no one was home." Becky said. Dan just laughed, grabbed a knife went to the table. All this time, Leon and Jackie were talking and didn't notice.

Dan cut the rice crispy treat into squares and took a piece for her, and handed one to Leon. Leon took it and enjoyed the fruits of his labor.

Once he was done eating his piece, he took Jerry, put him in his high chair again and then grabbed a can of applesauce and filled a bowl with the applesauce. He fed Jerry while also taking bites of it for himself. Jackie, Leon and Becky just watched him. Usually Dan was more talkative…and friendly. Today it seemed as if he was in his own world and Jerry was the only one who he shared it with.

Leon felt brushed off. "Listen I have to go to the diner." Leon said thank you and walked away and out of the door. Jackie and Becky glared at Dan.

"Dad, you made Leon feel unwelcome." Dan looked up, innocently.

"I did, that doesn't sound like me."

Jackie shook her head. "Dan what is going on in your head? Is it Roseanne?"

Dan thought about what she said. That was a stupid question, since of course Roseanne was on his mind along with a billion other things.

Jackie's words were lost on Dan. He fed Jerry and went off in his own little word.


	13. The funeral

On Saturday, the family dressed in black for Roseanne's funeral. Bev had originally scheduled the funeral for Tuesday, but decided to change the date to Saturday after her grandkids pleaded with her to do so for their dad. They told their grandma that should the funeral be on Tuesday, all three of them would never speak to her again and convince Jerry that she was the devil (which they were already doing anyway).

Jackie and Darlene were dressed in the same dresses they wore to Al's funeral, and so were the boys. Except they had to buy D.J. a whole new outfit since he didn't fit in his old clothes at all. Becky and Mark also had to buy new clothes because they didn't attend Al's funeral.

Dan sat in his bedroom scared to death. He had started shaking again, and he seriously considered breaking into the liquor cabinet (The night of the accident, Jackie had downed every can of beer, leaving the fridge empty of beer) and drinking himself drunk so he would stop shaking and could get through the funeral. He paced the room shaking; he pulled out the prescription pill bottle and struggled to read the label. He was finally able to get through the tiny words. When he read it took an hour to take affect he opened his closet, and felt around the top shelve.

He and Roseanne had a bottle of Jack Daniels hiding in there for when the last kid moved out and they were finally alone. The bottle used to be in the liquor cabinet, but when Becky and her friend raided it, they moved that bottle to the closet and put a lock on the cabinet to be safe. Sure the cabinet was locked, but if his sons really wanted to break into their they would find a way, after all they were Conners.

Dan opened the bottle and drank straight from the bottle. His shaking stopped and he felt the alcohols effect taking place. He smiled, and drank it more.

Jackie came in to see what he was doing and was pissed. "Dan what are you doing?"

By now Dan had downed 75 percent of the bottle. He smiled and laughed a deep gut wrenching face contorting laugh. "Having a good time with my pal, Jack!"

Jackie stood there pissed at Dan. This did not seem like Dan at all. She'd seem him drunk plenty of times, but not like this.

She found her anger at Dan fading and went to him.

She pulled him into the bathroom sink and pried the Jack Daniels from his hands and dumped the rest down the drain.

She handed Dan his tooth brush and told him to brush his teeth. Dan giggled as he squeezed the toothpaste and totally missed the bristles.

"Oops…" He giggled.

Jackie rolled her eyes and squeezed the tooth paste on his tooth brush herself.

Dan put the tooth brush in his mouth and moved it around. "Why bother? People will know I'm drunk anyway…" He said with the toothbrush still in his mouth.

"Because I'm getting drunk just by smelling your breath." Jackie stated matter of factly.

Dan smiled again and spit into the sink. He wiped his mouth on the hand towel, something Roseanne had yelled at him a thousand times not to do.

Dan followed Jackie to the living room, where everyone was waiting to leave. DJ watched the way his dad walked and knew instantly he was drunk.

"Dad your drunk!" Dan looked at his son and then roughed up his hair.

"No I'm not. I'm just happy."

At the funeral home people showed up from the corners of the earth. Crystal and Ed showed up with Lonnie, Angelina and Little Ed. Leon showed up with Scott, Bev showed up of course, Chuck, Chuck Jr, and Anne Marie showed up, all of Dan's poker buddies showed up but stayed in one group the whole time, Nana Mary showed up and jumped in the tactless punch bowl with Dan, friends from the Lunch Box showed up plus neighbors from Delaware street.

When it came time for the eulogy and speeches, Jackie found Dan literally hanging off Chuck and George He was singing "Riders in the sky" loudly and out of tune. Normally he had a great voice and sang in tune. But the alcohol changed all that too. The men found Dan's behavior hilarious, Jackie did not.

"Dan it's time to make your speech." Jackie grabbed Dan and led him to the front of the room next to the casket, with the help of his friends. Once he was at the front of the room, Jackie and the men took their seats.

The kids sat in the front row next to their significant others and watched their dad make a fool of himself.

Dan hated speaking in front of a crowd, but didn't mind it today since he was drunk. He looked at everyone then cleared his throat and tried to present himself in a mature manner.

After a minute of silence he spoke. "Ladies and gentleman, my wife Roseanne was killed by a drunk driver. There's a lesson to be learned from that; don't drink and drive. We married right out of high school and didn't really know what we were getting into. In the course of our marriage I have slept on the couch 32 times, I counted. Roseanne had given birth to our four kids the first being born in 1974 and the last being born in 1996 on Halloween of all nights. That's three decades of kids…" Dan started to lose his train of thought and his slurring became more and more noticeable. "Anyway I love Roseanne and she will always be in my…uh heart." Dan got a weird look on his face and rushed off stage.

Darlene went after him, and watched her dad go to a trashcan in another room and throw up.

"Want me to get you a soda?' She asked.

Dan looked at Darlene. He had said very little to Darlene since he found out about her pregnancy.

"No, soda and Jack don't mix well in my stomach…" Dan threw up again.

Darlene started to walk away but Dan started to sober up and called for her to stay.

"I'm sorry I haven't been talking to you, Darlene."

"I know dad."

Dan felt like he wasn't going to throw up again, and leaned on a wall. "I know you are planning on marrying David…" Dan looked Darlene in the face. She told him she was pregnant but not that she was marrying David.

"How…?" Dan cut Darlene off.

"Parents know things. You don't have to marry him just because you're pregnant."

Darlene looked at her uncomfortable dress shoes. "I know but it just makes sense."

Usually when Dan was pissed at the world about his kids decisions Roseanne was there to cool him off, so Dan decided to tell Darlene directly how he felt.

"Darlene I love you, but I don't know if I can watch you throw your life away."

Darlene got defensive. "What do you mean? Are you saying you want me too not have my baby?"

Dan shook his head hard. "No, no, no. I am not saying _that._ I am just saying that I think that you shouldn't marry David just because you're pregnant. Hold off the wedding until you're sure you want to marry David."

Darlene listened to her dad. "I think that marrying David is the best thing for me and our baby."

Dan shook his head. "Okay. I can only support you in your decision. But if you ever need anything, money, time away from the baby…or David. I will be here for you, after February that is."

Darlene looked at her dad quizzically. "Why February?"

Dan couldn't look at his daughter when he said; "I'm checking myself into rehab. That's why I got drunk for my wife's funeral. I had to stop the shaking…" Dan walked away, without looking at Darlene. Darlene felt that her dad's words were more to himself than to her.


	14. Life Death and Goodbye

When the family got back, Darlene and David waited for everyone to make their way to the living room. They were originally going to tell their family at the dinner table but no one seemed hungry. Dan was sober by now, but was still sick. Jerry was asleep in his crib.

Becky and Mark were sitting on the couch watching TV with D.J. so Darlene called her dad and Jackie into the living room. Darlene began; "Family, David and I have some news. I'm pregnant..." David continued;

"And we're getting married."

DJ sat there shaking his head and staring at his shoes. "Babies having babies…" He mumbled.

Becky stood up and hugged her sister. "Congratulations."

Mark just looked at Darlene and his brother. "Congratulations, David."

Dan watched this unfold blankly. He had a sinking in the pit of his stomach. He felt mad about her pregnancy, but he was doing his best to get over it, and trust that his daughter knew what she was getting herself into. Darlene looked at her dad and knew that he wasn't happy about the news. She also knew that he was going into rehab tomorrow so now was not the time to do anything that could start a fight.

After a few minutes of talk about Darlene's pregnancy, Dan took a deep breath and stood up (which he could've of not done but did anyway) he wanted to just disappear and deal with his life without anyone knowing, but he knew he couldn't. The feeling in his stomach sunk lower and he needed to throw up as he said;

"Becky, Mark, Darlene, David, DJ, Jackie, I love you and Jerry but when I was in the hospital I realized something, something terrible. I'm an alcoholic."

The family's good mood disappeared, and they stayed quiet. The kids weren't really sure how to react.

Becky was the first to try to speak. "Oh Dad."

Dan held up his hand to stop her. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can handle this right now." Dan's words were not spoke in bitterness but in sorrow. He covered half his face with his left hand and continued; "Tomorrow, I'm going back into the hospital, so I can get my life back to abnormal…" Dan added the last part as a joke. After that he ran out of the room to the bathroom.

DJ went in the bathroom as his dad kneeled before the porcelain throne.

"You're leaving again?" He asked as his did finished and leaned back on his knees.

"Can you get me a Sprite, Deej?" Dan asked, with a horrible taste in his mouth.

D.J. thought about staying where he was and interrogating his dad. Instead he saw how sad his dad was and how frail he looked and did as he was told.

DJ left the room and came back thirty seconds later with a can of Sprite. He handed it to his dad and his dad flipped the tab and took a drink.

"I am so sorry D.J. I really don't want to leave you. Not after mom died…but if I don't get help now, I'm afraid I'll just get worse…" Dan was leaning against the wall in front of the toilet now, and for once he felt like an ant compared to his son who had grown considerable in the last year. Dan wanted to drink himself stupid because of the loss of Roseanne and he didn't think he could trust himself to drink as a single parent.

DJ was mad at his dad. His mom died and now his dad was telling him that he was going away? But the anger subsided when he realized his dad really was sorry, and that he wouldn't leave if he didn't think he had to.

DJ got on the floor and sat next to his dad. "What'll happen in the hospital?"

Dan closed his eyes. He really didn't want to have this talk with his son, and he remembered how his son was always curious. Then he remembered how he felt when he found out his mom was also committed when he was a kid, and he decided to tell his son the truth no matter hoard it was.

"Well I'll get sick, Deej." DJ looked at his dad curiously.

"You're already sick…"

"No I mean, my body will get sick, when I go long enough without drinking…." Dan was at a loss for words.

"Will you get the D.T.s?"

Dan stared at his son in the eyes. "Yeah. How do you know about that?"

"_DARE _they were on a test we had to take to pass the course."

Dan looked up at the ceiling. He could see it needed painted. "Yeah, I will."

"I hope you get better." DJ half hugged his dad and then left the room as Dan threw up again.

That night Dan slept in his and Roseanne's bed in the master bedroom. He tossed and turned unable to even close his eyes. He missed the feeling of Roseanne's warmth, and the way he'd wake up in the middle of the night and have to pull his half of the covers to his side and then she'd do the same. He missed the sounds she made when she slept or how she'd elbow him in a million different places to get him to get up when the alarm went off. In fact he still had a quarter sized bruise on his thigh from the last morning they spent in bed together…

At 2 o'clock in the morning Dan gave up and picked up his pillow and went to the couch and laid down. He used to despise sleeping on the couch because it meant Roseanne and he were fighting and he was in trouble. But for some reason he found he was able to sleep on the couch and so he did.

Jackie woke him up gently. "Dan, Dan, wake up." Dan opened his eyes, and couldn't figured out why Jackie was waking him up, then it all came back to him and he felt like crap for the thousandth time. Jackie handed him a cup of coffee. A little sudden but he brushed it off knowing that she was only trying to help.

He swung his legs off the couch and sat up with the cover in his lap. He took a drink and winced at the light. He drank his coffee as Jackie fidgeted in the chair in front of the fire place.

Dan watched her and when he'd had enough he asked; "What do you want to say, Jackie?"

"I want to ask is there anything you need me to do or want me to do or something…?"

"I know it's a lot to ask Jackie but can you…?" Jackie interrupted Dan.

"Take care of the boys for you?"

Dan went silent and stared into his nearly empty cup of coffee.

"I'd be glad too…although not that it's any of my business…"

Dan studied Jackie, they'd had many tiny fights about money so Dan felt his old annoyed feelings for Jackie creep up again, but he remembered that with Roseanne was gone he was going to have to let Jackie into his life more and more…for the sake of Jerry.

"My dad told me he'd pay for my hospital bills but I told him to forget helping me and help my mom…the insurance company will pay for me for 28 days and the doctor who handled me before said that there was a special program for cases like mine that could help me out. I don't really have to worry about paying for it." Dan said all this quietly and more to himself than to her.

Jackie nodded and asked if he wanted breakfast. Dan shook his head no and went to take a shower again.

While he was in the shower David brought Jerry into the kitchen. He put Jerry in his high chair and looked through the pantry for baby food.

Jackie stood there watching him with a smile on her face. "Uh David, what are you doing?"

David looked at Jackie. "Am I not supposed to feed Jerry?"

Jackie shook her head. "No go ahead feed him, but you didn't have to change his clothes."

David said; "I know. I want to get some practice."

Jackie shook her head in agreement and worked on frying eggs. "I wish Fred would've been like that…"

Dan didn't come out of his room for an hour and the family was already done eating when he did.

They just looked at him as he held a duffel bag full of clothes. He hugged each of his kids, and his picked up his son one last time before Jackie drove him to the hospital.

In the car, Dan asked Jackie If he could drive and Jackie let him. To her surprise he pulled into the bank. Without saying a word he parked and went inside the building. When he came out he was holding an envelope. He handed it to Jackie.

"I got the mail yesterday. The payment information from Roseanne's life insurance policy came and it said that it'd be direct deposited into our account. I want you to have the money for the boys, and to keep giving Darlene her 1oo dollar allowance, plus 50 for her medical bills."

Jackie took the envelope reluctantly.

"Dan I can't take this…"

Dan raised his voice and spoke sternly. "Yes you can. I want you too."

Jackie wanted to protest again but didn't and put the envelope in her purse. Dan started the car and drove to the hospital.

He and Jackie walked to Admitting. He told the African American woman behind the desk why he was there, and she called over a guard who escorted Dan to the psychiatric ward. Jackie followed them.

Before the doors opened, Dan hugged Jackie. As his last words to her for a long time he whispered in her ear "This makes you my friend." Jackie smiled and he let go and disappeared through those doors.

When she returned to the house DJ was keeping his mind off things with Nintendo, Becky and Mark and Darlene and David were playing SCRABBLE. She sat at the table with them and when that round was over, they started again with two teams verse Jackie.


	15. The new routine

By 8 o clock that night everyone in the family went home to the places they called home, except DJ and Jerry who went with Jackie to her house. Mark and Becky went back to their trailer while Darlene and David went to their apartment in Chicago.

Jerry slept in Andy's crib and D.J. slept on the couch. In the middle of the night DJ woke up to noises coming from the kitchen. He walked in and not surprisingly he found Jackie standing in the corner of her kitchen.

"What's wrong D.J.?" Jackie could see the silhouette of her nephew.

DJ thought if the words. "I'm worried about my dad."

Jackie walked from the corner and put her hand on DJ's shoulder. "I am too. But he really loves you DJ. It hurts him really bad to leave you, especially after your mom died."

DJ shook his head. That was exactly what his dad said. "I remember grandma told me he was an alcoholic and that he was going to die. Mom got mad at her and told her that he didn't drink enough for the life that he leads. As far back as I remember dad drank, I'm worried that he'll be different when he comes back."

Jackie forced a half smile. "DJ your dad will still be your dad. He'll still make those stupid jokes, and tell us his football stories, and watch F Troop and Bonanza, he'll still throw chips at the TV when the Bears quarterback gets sacked. He'll just do all of it sober."

This satisfied DJ and he went back to sleep. In the morning he woke up to Jackie feeding Jerry. "Good morning Aunt Jackie." He said rather cheerfully.

"Good morning, hey your dad wanted you to go to school today."

"What about Jerry?" Jackie looked at Jerry.

"I guess I'll have to call your grandma. Actually could you?"

DJ called Bev and asked her to come to Jackie's to watch Jerry, then ate a bowl of cereal and left to go to school.

Bev knocked on the door. The mother and daughter locked eyes and Bev walked in.

"I suppose this proves that you need me."' Bev said, her first words stabbing Jackie in the heart.

"Actually this proves that Dan needs you. I'm watching the boys for him."

Bev pointed an accusatory finger at Jackie. "Why where is he?"

Jackie was not about to tell her mother about Dan.

"Dan went away to deal with a few things he'll be back February."

"Well that is a long time to leave your family. He is turning into his father."

Jackie wanted to go ballistic on her mom but because of Dan, Jerry and the Leon she bit her tongue. "Mom please watch Jerry so I can go to work. Leon has gone almost a week without me or Roseanne."

Jackie didn't wait for her mom to answer; she grabbed her coat, her keys and left the house.

At the Lanford Lunchbox, Jackie walked through the door to the happiness of Leon and Nancy. "Jackie. I am so glad you're back. I don't like the new people we hired." Said Nancy in her self absorbed way.

Jackie smiled sheepishly. "Yeah well so am I. Going back to work Is just what I need to get my mind off of the last few days."

Leon came over to Jackie. "How's Dan?"

Jackie looked at Leon. "He's, he's in the hospital."

Leon looked at Jackie and spoke at a whisper. "He's in rehab isn't he?"

Jackie cocked her head. "How'd you know?"

Leon talked sympathetically. "Well when you're an alcoholic it gets easy to spot other alcoholics."

Jackie mumbled to herself and got to work.

After a few days Fred brought Andy back to Jackie, and she and DJ got into a routine. DJ would get up and feed Jerry, get ready for school and leave, and then Bev would come and Jackie would leave without saying anything important to her mother. Jackie would get home at 5 and Bev would leave. In the night they would take care of the babies and just watch TV.

One night about a week and two days later, D.J. sat at the table writing on a sheet of loose leaf. He had no school books so Jackie figured he wasn't doing homework.

"What are you doing D.J.?"

"I'm writing a letter to my dad."

"You call him every night."

"I know. I want to write to him so he can read the letters when I don't call him."

DJ finished the letter and then put it in an envelope and addressed it and stuck a stamp on it, and then he went to the phone and dialed. By now he had the number memorized. The same lady who answers every day answered and DJ asked for Dan Conner.

After a minute his dad answered. "Hi son. How are you?" D.J. could hear the phoniness in his dad's voice, but ignored it.

"Good. I got a 92 on my math test."

"Good job." DJ knew his dad's mood was worse than it sounded.

"Hey, dad. Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?" DJ wanted to ask his dad a different question than he always asked,

Dan went quiet for a second. "Uh no. I was supposed to in school but I didn't."

"Oh well we're supposed to read it next week."

"Cool. Hey I got to go bye DJ."

Dan hung up. DJ stood there, shocked that his dad didn't tell him he loved him.

At the hospital Dan, looked at the receiver and felt bad about not telling him he loved him. The shaking had stopped a few days ago, but Dan still felt himself wanting a drink. Dr. John was still his doctor and told Dan that the first week after the withdrawal can be the hardest.

Dan wandered around a little bit and then met with Dr. John. "How do you feel today?"

"Like crap. Thanks for asking."

"Dan do you know you look like you've lost weight?"

Dan looked down at himself. He did look like he's lost weight.

"Is that normal?"

"Alcohol affects the body's ability to lose weight, and you eat healthy here and from what I tell you're always moving."

"At home I just drink and watch TV. Makes sense I'd lose weight." Dan was joking, and his tone proved it. Dr. John appreciated his sense of humor.


	16. Home For Good

Six weeks later Dan was called into Dr. John's office, where he received good news. Dr. John told him he thought he was ready to go home. He gave Dan one more day, to say goodbye and to make plans to leave. Once again Dan decided to leave the hospital without telling his family. He said goodbye, to his poker buddies, and his roommate Alex who was 22 years and suicidal. Dan and Alex had become close, and Dan had taught Alex how to throw a football and then play football.

Alex was sad when Dan told him he was leaving but Dan cheered him up by telling him would write to him and that Alex could come over anytime he wanted when he left the hospital. Alex hugged Dan and Dan walked out the doors. He called a cab, and gave the cabbie directions to Jackie's house.

It was 11 in the morning when Dan knocked on Jackie's door. To his surprise and horror Beverly answered.

She stood there holding Andy, looking Dan up and down as if he were the devil. Dan walked in and held his arms out for Bev to give him Andy.

"This is Andy." Bev said as if Dan didn't know his own son.

"I know, Bev." Dan said coolly, as if Bev's words didn't bother him.

Bev handed Dan Andy, and Dan held up Andy in the air and smiled. "Where's Jerry?" Dan asked.

"He's asleep; he downed an entire bottle before stealing Andy's toys." Dan brushed everything his mother in law said, and carried Jerry into Andy's nursery where his son was asleep in the crib. He could tell Andy was tired so he laid Andy in the crib then cheerfully went to the kitchen and took a bottle from the cabinet, filled it up with milk and placed it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Dan stood there smiling at Bev until the microwave beeped.

When the bottle was warmed he took it out walked to the nursery. When Andy saw the bottle his uncle made, he reached out for it. Dan put the bottle in his small hands. Andy glad held onto it and drank it. Dan made sure the baby monitor was on and left the room. He saw that Bev had been watching him.

They just looked at each other, until Bev spoke up.

"I don't know how I feel about you taking care of Jerry be yourself."

Dan just stared at her expressionless.

"Well I don't know how I feel about that myself so join the club." Dan tried to keep his voice at a normal conversation level and to try to keep his tone the same way.

"Dan you know that when Roseanne started dating you, me and Al did not approve."

Dan shook his head; he felt himself balling up his fists for a split second but stopped himself. In Group Therapy they had learned anger management skills and Dan remembered what he learned in order to go through this tough conversation without making his relationship with Bev harder than it already was. If he did anything to Bev, dire consequences would follow.

"Yes, Bev I am aware of that. When Becky started dating Mark we didn't approve so I guess what does around really does come around." Dan was doing a good job keeping his temper under control.

Bev was not blind. She could see Dan working to control his temper and remain calm, she was just waiting to dig her knives in Dan wanting him to explode and give her a reason-and a way-to get what she really wanted; the ability to raise Jerry by herself. She picked one way that would really cause Dan to lose it.

"All those years that DJ and the girls were growing up you went to work dry walling the basements of Lanford, Roseanne bought their food, bought their clothes, made their dinner, drove them to the places they needed to go and you just sat there drinking and watching TV. If you weren't doing that you were off building your boat or fixing something. You were avoiding your family and when you were forced to be with them you drank."

Dan listened to her words carefully. A million, vulgar, hateful, and just plain mean responses filled his head, but they stayed in his head as he just blinked and took every word she said like he should. These next words hurt when they were said because they weren't necessarily true, but they were said anyway, and in a quiet calm manner.

"You're right Bev. Roseanne did all the parenting while I fixed something, built something or watched something while I just sat there with a beer in my hand. Having just gotten out of therapy I see that now. But I'm not going to drink anymore, and I am going to become one the best single dads there had ever been in Illinois. I'm going take care of everything the boys need; I'm going to pay for DJ to go to College just like I am for Darlene. I'm going to take Jerry to his first day of Kindergarten and teach him to ride a bike and everything else. I'm going to find a steady job and stay there too." Dan's words were delivered in such a calm and peaceful manner that Bev left the house defeated.

Dan sat on the couch and found himself falling asleep. He woke up to DJ staring at him.

"Dad! You're home." The first thing that Dan noticed was his sons hair, it was long and shaggy. He also noticed his son had grown considerable in the last six weeks.

"And for good this time." He said while giving DJ a hug.

"Where's grandma?" DJ asked, looking around.

"She left." Dan said quietly.

DJ looked at Dan and smiled. "You must have scared away, with that beard you look like grizzly bear."

Dan rubbed his hand on his chin and felt the itchy effect of his beard. He hadn't shaved for a very long time (although he could've been shaved at the hospital once a week on Saturday. He elected to sleep in on Saturdays.)

"Oh totally forgot about that. When does Aunt Jackie get home?"

DJ looked at the clock. "She worked the breakfast shift today so she should be getting home now." The two listened and heard Jackie's car pull into the driveway. Dan decided to once again pull a prank on Jackie. He opened the basement door and walked on the first step and closed it. DJ got the idea and sat on the couch and turned on the TV.

Jackie walked in holding a bag of groceries. "Hi, DJ." She said tiredly.

"Hi, Jackie. Is that it?" DJ asked, offering to help her bring in the rest.

"No, just got stuff for breakfast." Jackie went into the kitchen then came back in again. The boys were usually asleep during this time so she went to check on them.

Before she passed the basement door flew open Dan jumped from it. "BOO!"

Jackie jumped about three feet. The look on her face could've won her first prize on America's Funniest Home Video's.

"God Damn it Dan!" Dan and DJ and laughed so hard they wound up on the floor, with their sides hurting. It took a solid five minutes for either one to compose themselves enough to speak.

Jackie found herself joining them. Eventually they heard Jerry crying and Dan went in and brought him out. Jerry had grown so much since Dan and left him that it was unbelievable. Before Jerry was chunky, now he was long and skinny. Dan couldn't figure out who Jerry was taking after, him or Roseanne. Although Ed had shown Roseanne a picture of Dan when he was baby and Jerry looked just like him, so Dan figured he took after him.

Jerry looked his dad right in the eyes and Dan felt like Jerry remembered him.

Jackie, Dan and DJ had pizza and fed their kids, then Jackie drove the boys home, all three of them.

The house was dark, and dusty. No one had been there since the day Dan left, and somehow the house had lost its homey feeling. DJ went through and found all the light switches by memory. Dan took his bag into his and Roseanne's room, while holding Jerry. The bedroom was the same as he left it, except someone had made the bed. He remembered the last night he laid in that bed and ended up on the couch because he couldn't sleep. He hoped that wouldn't happen again but somehow knew it would.


	17. A Day at home

That night Dan hardly slept at all, he tossed and turned again and when he was finally able to fall asleep he'd just wake up again. He just laid there ignoring the alarm clock until at three in the morning; he heard Jerry crying on the baby monitor that was on the night table so he got up and went to his nursery. He made Jerry his bottle then held him until he fell asleep. Once he put Jerry back in the crib he sat in the rocking chair and fell asleep.

DJ woke up and went to check on his brother. When he found his dad he woke him up.

"Dad, it's 8." Dan opened his eyes, saw DJ and stretched and then took Jerry downstairs. He wanted to take one more day before he went to work. He sat Jerry in his high chair and fed him, while DJ ate cereal and left for school.

"Bye dad." DJ said as he made his way to the utility room.

"DJ wait. When will you get home today?"

"About 4:30. I have AV club today."

Dan looked at DJ quizzically. "You joined AV club?"

DJ stood there. He was a little worried about what his dad would feel if he knew he was in AV club, after his dad was on the football team in high school, so his view of the AV club would probably be a little obscure.

Dan just looked at DJ. "Well as long as you're not dealing drugs on a street corner." DJ smiled and left.

All day Dan did nothing but watch TV, take care of Jerry and jump every time he thought he heard Roseanne. At 1, he gave up on TV as something in every show reminded him of either Roseanne in one way or another, or drinking in one way or another.

Soon after, there was a knock on the door. When he answered it he found Jackie.

"Since when do you knock?" He asked, playfully.

"Since, technically you're not my brother-in-law anymore," Jackie smelled of loose meat, and fried grease, but she looked happy.

Dan stood holding the door open. He laughed quietly and motioned for Jackie to come in. "So? Our kids share the same genetics so I think that gives you the right to barge in my house when you feel like it." Dan sat on the couch with Jerry on his lap.

Jackie smiled and sat down on the other end of the couch.

"Dan I came here to give you the rest of that money." Jackie handed Dan an envelope.

Dan shook his head and threw it on the coffee table. "Thank you, Jackie. I owe you big time."

Jackie shook her head. "No, you don't. Three hours in jail is equal to six weeks of childcare."

"Ah, you're right." Dan put Jerry next to him and was proud that Jerry could now sit up by himself.  
The two people sat there quietly. Jackie took a good look at Dan and noticed that he had dropped weight, and that he still had a beard and longer hair. He looked like a lumber jack.

"So Dan how long are you going to keep that Lumberjack look?"

Dan rubbed his right hand on his beard in a thinking gesture. "I'll shave it around Christmas. Don't want the kids to confuse me for Santa…again."

Jackie smiled again. "I think with all that weight off you won't have to worry about that…"

Dan looked down at himself. "Ah so you noticed. So did the Doc, he said it was because I was eating healthy and being active all day. The only sitting I did was around the poker table…There was a TV, but seeing as I had no control over the channel I hardly watched it."

Jackie felt a ping of happiness over Dan's mood. He had that jokester totally serious attitude that he often used when he was playing around.

"You really look good, I'm proud of you Dan. Quitting drinking is a hard thing to do."

Dan looked at Jackie. "Andhow would _you _know that?"

"I tried to stop drinking completely a few years ago you know when I had this living thing inside me."

Dan smacked his head. "Oh yeah!"

The two went quiet again. Dan twirled the fingers around where his wedding ring should be. Jackie watched him, and then she remembered something. She picked up her purse from the floor and dug through it until she pulled out a ring case. She handed the case to Dan.

Dan opened it and found two rings; his and Roseanne's. He just looked at Jackie curiously.

"That first night you were in the hospital, a nurse gave them to me. So much was going on with you and mom and the kids I forgot to give it to you…"

Dan waved his hand like she didn't have to finish. Jackie watched Dan pull his ring out of the case and slip it on his ring finger. He then closed the case, stood up and took it to his room.

When he came back he headed for the fridge and took out a knock off brand Coke.

"Listen Jackie, I'm going to work tomorrow and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind me dropping Jerry off at your house in the morning so Bev can watch the boys again."

"Don't you think that's a little soon?" Dan stood in the door way and Jackie really noticed how much he lost weight.

"Maybe, I don't know. What I do know is that if I stay here another day I'll lose it for good this time…" Dan got a faraway look on his face. Jackie stood up and walked to him.

Once he realized she was looking at him he continued; "Jackie, everything reminds me of her…"

Dan felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He kept himself from crying, he'd done way too much of that lately.

Jackie had the urge to hug Dan but she didn't out of respect for his personal space. "Same with me Dan. I still think to myself "What will Roseanne think of this?" when I get dressed."

Dan shook his. "Funny I think the same exact thing."

Jackie looked at the clock. "My lunch breaks just about over. Feel free to drop Jerry off in the morning." Jackie talked as she walked backwards and grabbed her purse and left.

Dan was alone in the house again. He heard creaking and looked in kitchen to find no one sanding there.

"_Rosie! If you're haunting the house can you do the laundry?"_ He shouted, believing that it would be just like his wife to haunt him and the house for the rest of his life.

Not one thing moved or made a sound so he picked Jerry up and walked to the kitchen grabbed his wallet and keys and left the house.

Jerry had Andy's old car seat in Dan's truck. Dan buckled Jerry up and the went to the Buy N Bag.

Dan got one of those carts with the built in car seats and put Jerry in it. He wasn't sure what to buy so he bought what he thought was necessary for now.

He pushed the cart with the feeling of people watching him. When he would look at people they would quickly look away. That same thing had happened to him for the first few days after he was arrested for assaulting Fisher, so he knew that eventually the staring would stop.

He was in the cereal aisle when he heard people talking on the other side of the shelves.

"You see him? I thought he'd get life." Said one voice, belonging to a teenaged boy.

"Nah, he wasn't drunk. That Chevy driver was drunk." Said another belonging to a grown up.

"Yeah, but it was Conner. You know he'd been drinking anyway." Said the teenager.

Dan listened in disbelief.

"Surprised he aint in jail. Pretty much the only place he could have been for six weeks unless he got help."

The voices faded away as the people left that aisle. Dan was amazed at what he just heard. People thought he was responsible for Roseanne's death.

Dan and Jerry got home after DJ. DJ helped his dad carry the groceries into the kitchen.

"So what's for dinner?"

Dan looked at all the bags and so did DJ. DJ saw salted crackers and immediately knew the answer.

"Oh no! Not chili!" Dan looked down at his son (had to DJ had five inches to grow before he was as tall as his dad).

"NOT CHILI? My son, a CONNER, doesn't want chili? Why good sir that is a preposterous thought."

DJ had a look on his face that Dan had seen before on both Becky and Darlene. He had seen it on Darlene when he was standing in a jail cell and on Becky when she noticed him dancing to her music.

"I've seen that same look on both your sisters."

"Why is the only thing you can cook chili, grilled cheese and corn?"

Dan thought about it for a minute. "I skipped home-ec and cheated off your mother on the days we had tests?"

DJ looked at his dad. "Dad you look like a lumberjack."

Dan shook his head. "Good that was what I was aiming for. We're still having chili."

And they did have chili, while Jerry had his baby food.


	18. Back to Work

That night, Dan decided that he wasn't even going to attempt sleeping in his bed so he laid down on the couch thinking about how ironic it was that he used to despise sleeping on the couch when he and Roseanne were fighting and now that he'll never get kicked out of his own bed again he can't sleep in his own bed. He did fall asleep and slept the whole night.

In the morning DJ brought Jerry down stairs, while holding Jerry DJ shook Dan awake.

"Dad, dad, DAD!" Dan sat up quickly, forgetting where he was for a minute.

"Can you feed Jerry for me?" Dan asked, and then made his way to his room.

DJ placed Jerry in the high chair and fed him. Dan came out five minutes later dressed in overalls, a plaid shirt and boots. Except for the lumberjack look he looked just like DJ remembered.

Dan took over for DJ and DJ left.

Once, he was done feeding Jerry, he carried him back to the nursery and made a diaper bag. Then the father and son left, and Dan dropped Jerry off at Jackie's and went to work.

At the prison construction site, Dan could see that the building was behind on schedule. He found a place to park, and headed to the booth where the men (and two brave women) were supposed to clock in. The worker in the little booth asked Dan for ID. When Dan handed it to him he became scrutinizing.

"Why don't you look familiar?" The man asked, in a gruff macho voice.

Dan rubbed his chin. "My chin?"

"No. That aint it." The man looked at the paper work on his desk. "You haven't been to work since March."

"Yeah I know. My wife died in a car accident."

Whether it was sympathy or just a case of whatever, the man let Dan clock in but first he had to get a hard hat. Dan went back to his truck and found it underneath his seat.

He put it on and went through the gate. He found Chuck.

"DAN? You finally get home and you don't call?" Chuck was happy; he turned around and walked to Dan.

Dan smiled. "Well Chuck, I decided I was going to come home and surprise everyone, instead of the other way around."

Chuck nodded in understanding. He pulled Dan off the concrete path that was formed and talked low so there conversation was private.

"I heard rumors you were in County hospital…"

Dan smiled again, wanting to make this conversation easy on both of them. "I was. I quit drinking."

Chuck looked at Dan quizzically. "_You_ quit drinking?"

"Amazing ain't it?" Dan kept smiling and walked away. It wasn't until Chuck realized he was being serious that Chuck suddenly wondered if 714 Delaware Street was a dry state.

Doing the job that he hated made Dan forget about everything and enjoy not thinking about non job related stuff. The time flew by before the lunch bell rang. Dan wasn't hungry and so he didn't even eat.

Dan pulled down his tailgate and sat on it. Mark came to talk to him.

"Dan…" Mark sat on the tailgate next to Dan.

Mark pulled a sandwich out of his brown paper bag.

"Hey Mark I'd like you to keep this a secret from Becky."

Mark shook his head. "Okay, Dan. Um how do you feel?" Dan studied Mark. He had grown to think of both Mark and David as his son so he appreciated Marks concern.

"Good, I guess." Dan said sitting still and happy.

When five o'clock rolled around Dan clocked out and raced to Jackie's. He was glad to find Jackie and not Bev.

Jerry was happy to see his dad.

Jackie stood there as Dan picked up Jerry and pulled the diaper bag over his shoulder.

"Hey Dan, he's growing like a weed. I think we should go get the boys new clothes."

Dan looked at Jerry and thought about it for a second. He knew for sure that Jerry needed new shoes.

"Okay, um how about we go tomorrow? I'll meet you at Rodbell's when I get off of work." Jackie agreed and Dan took Jerry home, to find an extremely clean house and DJ vacuuming the living room.

Dan smiled devilishly and watched his son. He just knew that his son was up to something….

Jerry started to feel heavy in Dan's arms so he put Jerry in the playpen.

DJ stopped vacuuming and saw his dad.

"What'd you do, DJ?"

DJ knew his dad would be suspicious. It was a Conner family tradition for kids to clean the house with being asked for two reasons, one to get out of trouble, and two get something in return.

"I didn't do anything…"

Dan looked at his oldest son, "But?"

"But there's this Steven Spielberg tribute in Chicago on a weekend and the AV club is going…"

"Chicago?" Dan asked for clarification.

"Yeah, but dad Darlene and David live in Chicago and the school is paying for it so I don't money."

Dan waved his hand for DJ to stop.

"I'll think about it."

DJ smiled and then rolled up the vacuums cord and put it away.

That night Dan made grilled cheese and macaroni (there was left over chili but DJ took the defensive on that).


	19. Rodbell's and Dan's Daughters

That night Dan slept on the couch again, but woke up to Jerry crying. He took care of that and realized it was 6 AM so he put Jerry back in his crib for another hour of sleep and took a shower. By now his cuts were barely noticeable, but when Dan looked in the mirror he saw an older man with a beard and a cut above the eye. He really needed to shave, but decided not to.

After he got dressed in his work clothes he started to make instant oatmeal by following the directions on the box. DJ came down carrying Jerry, and the three guys ate.

DJ left for school, Dan packed a diaper bag and left to take Jerry to Jackie's.

When he got to the job site, he went all day without anything particular on his mind.

He was headed to Jackie's after work and remembered he was supposed to meet her at Rodbell's. When he got to the mall, he found Jackie and the boys at the food court.

He sat down at the table with Jackie, who had the kids in a two seated stroller.

"Hi Jackie, how were things at the diner?" Dan put his hand on his cheek and stole a fry from Jackie's tray.

"Good, we were kind of slow." Jackie blocked Dan from taking another fry.

"That sucks, we're behind on the job site so they're saying we'll be there longer." Dan managed to take another fry from Jackie.

"Oh well I guess that's good. Hey Dan I was wondering if you could help me with something…" Dan stared at Jackie, with a curious expression.

"Awe here it is. What do you want?" Dan's voice was lighthearted. He used a tone that he often used when talking to Jackie especially when he knew she wanted him to do something.

"I was hoping you could help me with potty-training Andy."

Dan went quiet for a minute and Jackie sat there anxious to hear his response.

"You want me to help potty train Andy…?" Dan continued. "Okay, but you get to remind me about all those shots Jerry will need and I'll never remember..."

Jackie held out her hand and they shook on it.

Dan got himself food, and ate, while he and Jackie exchanged conversation and talked to their boys.

In the shoe store, Jackie and Dan wandered the aisles, taking turns pushing the stroller.

Dan saw a pair of baby Nike's and picked them up. "What do you think about these?"

Dan was asking Jackie for her opinion because he figured she would know all that mom stuff that he still needed to know.

"I think those are good." Jackie pointed at them enthusiastically. Dan nodded and then untied Jerry's shoes to see what size his shoes were. He looked at the shoes, and then put them back on Jerry's feet. He grabbed a size bigger and found Jackie, looking at socks.

Jackie looked at Dan, "Hey Dan you mind watching the boys? I'm going to grab something real quick."

Dan nodded and Jackie walked out of the store quickly. Dan sat on a bench and played quietly with the boys.

"'Kol Dan!" Andy yelled. Dan smiled.

"Yep, Andy I'm Uncle Dan." Dan said in his baby voice, feeling weird about calling himself an Uncle.

He waited there for only fifteen minutes before Jackie came back with a bag in her hand.

"Andy called me Uncle Dan." He proclaimed excited as he stood up.

Jackie used this as an opportunity to get even for the two mean practical jokes. "Damn and I wanted him to call you Aunt Danielle…" Jackie smiled and locked eyes with Dan.

Dan smiled, "And I want Jerry to call you Uncle Jack." They looked at each other and walked to the checkout line and bought their sons shoes.

In the Clothing store Dan bout Jerry two pairs of baby blue jeans, a baby Chicago Bulls hoodie and three t shirts. Jackie bought Andy, a jacket and new T shirts and they were on their way.

When they got to their cars (Dan parked next to Jackie), Jackie handed Dan a book.

**DADS COOKBOOK: 100 GUY FRIENDLY RECIPE'S FOR SINGLE DADS.**

Dan smiled, and took the thick hardcover book and quickly looked through it. "DJ will be so thrilled." Dan said, thinking about his son's attitude to his chili.

Dan put Jerry in his car seat and he and Jackie went on their separate ways.

When Dan got home, he found DJ and a group of three guys and two girls sitting around the kitchen table.

Dan looked at DJ. DJ stood up nervous. "This is my dad and brother Jerry."

Dan shook his head and waved with the hand he was using to hold Jerry.

"DJ who are these kids?" Dan asked smiling, but talking only to DJ.

"My AV club. We're going to make a movie." DJ went to his dad.

"It won't cost me any money will it?"

DJ shook his head. "No."

"Good." Dan turned to go to his room but stopped when one of the girls spoke up.

"Excuse, me but I never know what to call my friends parents." Dan cocked his head, at the red headed girl.

"Mr. Conner works for me. What are your guy's names?" Dan tried to be nice to his kids friends.

"I'm Sarah, that's Alex, Tim, Rory, and Xander." The redhead pointed to each kid as she introduced them.

The kid she introduced as Xander spoke up too. "Excuse me, but what is like you're first name?" The kid's voice sounded to like the same voice from the Buy N Bag to Dan.

Dan searched the kid's eyes. "Dan…"

Xander looked at DJ. "Oh I get it you're name stands for Dan Junior, man."

DJ shook his head as Dan stifled a laugh and went to his room with Jerry.

"No my name stands for David Jacob." DJ said matter of factly.

Meanwhile in Chicago, David got home from work to find Darlene cooking something that smelled good.

"Hi Darlene, are you actually cooking something?"

"No, David I lit a chicken smelling candle." David nodded knowing he walked right into that.

"I'm sorry it's just different for you to use the stove."

David sat on a stool at the island (their apartment was modern, but small). Darlene could sense something was wrong with David. She walked around the island and hugged David. "What's wrong David?"

"I'm just worried about…everything."

Darlene rubbed her head on David's back. "So am I David. I just want to wait for my dad to get home before we get into any wedding stuff."

"I know, I do too, but I'm just worried about the baby. I mean what if it gets sick or something and we don't have enough money for the medicine or something?"

"David, the baby will be covered on your insurance remember? Besides my dad will never let anything like that happen."

David felt better and when the oven beeped, the two ate.

Also meanwhile, Mark and Becky stood out of their trailer screaming at each other.

"YOUR SO SELFISH, MARK. I CANT BELIEVE I MARRIED YOU!" Becky had her hands crossed at her chest, in a stance she had often seen her mother take.

"_I'M SELFISH? _YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST SITS THERE DECIDING WHEN AND WHAT WE DO. I HAVE FRIENDS, BECK; I'D LIKE TO GO SEE THEM ONCE IN A WHILE."

"I KNOW, SO YOU CAN GET DRUNK AND PASS OUT ON A COUCH."

"HEY, I DON'T PASS OUT. I DON'T DRINK AS MUCH AS I USED TO…"

The fight continued until, Beck went inside and slammed the door. Mark cussed profusely and hopped in his truck and drove off breaking the speed limit.


	20. Mark Sleeps Over

Mark was pissed at the world when he navigated his truck to 714 Delaware Street. DJ answered the door when Mark knocked on it.

"Hi, DJ." Mark said walking in the house with his hands in his coat pockets.

"Hi, Mark." DJ said, wondering why Mark was there.

Dan saw Mark from the kitchen and came in the living room. "Mark, Mark, Mark, If Becky finds out you're here she'll know I'm home. I was going to wait for the weekend to tell my daughters I'm home."

DJ closed the living room door as Mark spoke standing behind the couch.

"I know Dan, it's just that we got into this huge fight and she locked me out." Dan and DJ could tell that Mark was upset.

Dan relaxed. "Huh, okay you can stay here, but you have to promise that you won't tell Becky." Dan pointed his finger at Mark.

"I promise."

"Okay, I'm making spaghetti for dinner." Dan walked into the kitchen. Mark followed him and saw Dan's special cookbook lying on the table.

"A cookbook? I didn't know you know how to cook." Mark said as he studied the back of the book. Dan came to him and grabbed it out of his hands.

"I don't. Jackie thought this would help me learn." Dan took the book and hid it in a cabinet.

"Oh." Mark had an uncomfortable look on his face and Dan sensed there was something he wanted to say. Dan stared at Mark until he got the idea.

"Is there something on your mind, Mark?"

Mark stood there, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "I was just wondering…uh…if this means…I mean…uh…" Mark watched his son in law stutter himself silly.

"Just say it Mark." Dan found himself just a little annoyed.

"Are we not allowed to uh…drink here anymore?" Mark asked quickly then looked away, as Dan also looked away.

Dan hadn't really thought about his house being a dry state yet, so Dan didn't really know what to say.

"Uh, No I chose to quit drinking and I am not going deny my friends and family beer….especially when my mother in law is here…." Dan started his answer serious but went for a joke, just knowing that if the holidays were going to go on as normal (Which Dan wanted, in spite of everything, even Bev.)

"Oh, the guys wanted to know for poker nights." Mark was still trying to avoid eye contact with Dan, but Dan stood in his corner looking at Mark anyway.

"And you drew the shortest straw too, I bet." Dan said, just knowing that was how the question came about.

Mark shook his head. "No I lost the coin toss to Chuck." Mark saw Jerry in his playpen and went to play with his littlest brother in law.

He sat next to DJ on the couch. DJ was playing Super Mario Brothers.

Dan turned on the stove to boil the water, and came in to the living room and sat on the chair in front if the fireplace.

"You know it's kind of weird having a brother in law whose a baby." Mark said letting Jerry stand up on his knees while holding his little hands.

Dan smiled. "It's also kind of weird to have a brother who whose just about to turn eight, and a sister whose about to turn seven."

DJ looked at his dad. "Hey dad how come we hardly see Angelina and Little Ed?"

Dan looked at DJ. "Well Son, that's a good question. I can't really say for sure."

DJ nodded and unpaused Mario and started playing again. Dan took Jerry from Mark and Mark started to play with DJ. That night went by fast and everyone decided it was time for bed. Dan was amazed that he actually fathered a kid who kept a regular 9 hour sleeping schedule. Dan found himself forced to go (NOT) sleep in his own bed. He tossed and turned, contemplating the bed in the basement, but then was afraid of not hearing Jerry, so he stayed in his room.

As he laid there with his head on his pillow, he started to feel a very light weight behind him. A familiar weight….

Dan looked behind his shoulder. "Rosie, why don't you do me a favor and haunt you're mother. After all if you scare her she could die of a heart attack…" Dan's imagination stopped its game and Dan somehow felt the eerie weight on his mattress go away, leaving Dan to really believe his wife was haunting him.

Dan watched the clock and gave up on sleep (he did doze off a few times but always woke up like thirty minutes later) and got out of bed 45 minutes before his alarm clock.

He took a shower and checked on Jerry, and later found himself sitting at the kitchen table doing nothing at all. Just sitting.

Darlene tossed and turned in the bed next to David. David woke up and found his fiancée on her back staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong Darlene?" David asked, rolling over and putting his hand on Darlene's stomach.

"I don't know. It's just I can't stop thinking about our house sitting there with no one living in it…" David listened to Darlene but was puzzled.

"People will live there; we just got to wait for your dad to get home."

Darlene nodded gently and turned towards David so they were cuddling. "David, I can't get that image out of my head with dad in the hospital and my mom in her casket…I close my eyes and that's like all I can think about…" Darlene had tears in her eyes.

David knew that this moment was probably happening because of Darlene's hormones but he didn't care and comforted her.

Mark woke up and saw Dan at the table. He could see that Dan had a faraway look on his face as he sat in his spot at the end of the table staring absent mindedly at a corner of the kitchen.

Mark got off the couch and went to Dan. "Are you okay Dan?"

Dan didn't answer or acknowledge Mark's existence while he replayed one of him and Roseanne's biggest fights on their marriage in his head.

_"You want me to fix dinner? I'm Fixing Dinner." _Dan saw himself go to the open door pantry and grab a great big can of creamed corn. He saw Roseanne's reaction as he did that 8 years ago. _"Oh but honey, you just fixed dinner seven years ago!"_

Mark watched Dan's facial expressions, as his went back and forth like he was watching somebody in the kitchen that only Dan could see.

Mark gently tapped Dan on his arm. "Dan?"

Dan snapped out of it. "Oh Mark, how'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I don't know how you could sleep on that couch."

Dan smiled and put his hand on Marks. "Well, Mark, I had too."


	21. Becky and Dan talk

Becky Healy woke up in the morning regretful as she realized that Mark's familiar weight in the bed was gone and she remembered their fight. She sighed, then got out of bed took a shower got dressed and left to go to work, thinking about Mark and how was she going to apologize.

She saw that the needle on her gas gauge was on the 'E' and pulled into a gas station. As she put the nozzle in her gas tank, one of the Delaware street neighbors and Lunchbox customers called her name.

"Hey, Beck. Throw your old man out of the house?" The woman was just a bit older then Becky.

Becky looked at the woman curiously, then annoyed. "How'd you know?"

The girl smiled. "Saw him pull in at your dads. He spent the night. I only know because my old man is on me about smoking outside…" The woman was nosy, especially about the Conner's (The time that Dan was arrested, she even spoke to the newspapers about seeing him put into the cop car).

Becky suddenly became enraged. "What? Mark doesn't have the key to the house…"

"Don't need one if your dads home." The neighbor smiled, as she was the kind of person who got high off gossip and drama. Becky finished gassing up and then sped off towards 714 Delaware Street.

The door was unlocked when she flew into the living room. Mark, Dan, DJ and Jerry were all at the kitchen table eating Fruit Loops. "Dad why didn't you tell me you were home?"

Dan watched his daughter and could tell that she was noticeably furious. He stood up, and walked towards her then gently guided Becky to his room, as the other boys watched. When they got into the bedroom, Dan sat on his bed with his hands together in his lap.

"Becky, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's just I have a million things going on in my head right now and I'm scared to death of jumping into my life at home because I'm afraid that something will happen and I'll run to the booze again." Dan spoke and then realized that since Roseanne's death he's made it a habit of giving long explanations and fast speeches. Becky listened to him, and her anger drained out of her and she next to her father on the bed.

"When we're you going to tell me?" Becky looked at her father and was amazed at how much he resembled a bear. _ He really needs to shave…_She thought.

Dan continued staring at his bare feet as the feeling of guilt settled in. "This weekend. I swear."

Becky wrapped her arms around her dad. "I'm glad you're back dad."

Dan placed his hands on top of hers on his chest. "I'm glad to be back. Every day I was in there I felt like a horrible father for being a way from my kids."

"Every day I was in Minneapolis, I felt like a horrible daughter because of what I said to you that day about being the reason my life sucked. At first I was mad at you then you called me that day and I started to feel like crap." Becky said while still hugging her dad. Dan just listened and this made him feel better.

"You did? I think that's probably when my drinking got worse, because I was mad at myself for driving you away." Becky continued listening but found her father, beginning to talk in a way that seemed as if his words were meant for himself to hear. "Then I went to jail and that made me drink even more. I know my drinking was the worse after I found out about your grandma…" Becky watched Dan stay still and focus on his feet. She decided to change the subject.

"Uhh dad? Why _did _you go to jail?" Dan finally looked up and away from his feet. He smiled weakly, and Becky saw her old dad creeping back into the very hair man sitting next to her.

"You mean you don't know?"

"No. I didn't even know you were in jail until Darlene told me when you were in the hospital."

Dan stopped smiling then repositioned himself on the bed. "I'll tell you, but I want you to promise you won't bring this up. It's not exactly something we want in the open." Dan spoke low and seriously. Becky ditched the notion that his reason was going to be a funny one, and nodded.

"You're Aunt Jackie was dating this man, Fisher, and after they moved in together he uh…beat her up." Dan stopped for a minute and Becky could definitely sense the seriousness. She suddenly felt a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach, as she thought about her aunt's pain. "When I found out I went and uh beat _him _up. When I got home the cops came and took me to jail." Dan was looking down again.

Becky went quiet. "Did Darlene really bail you out of jail?"

Dan looked at the ceiling for this one. "Unfortunately. Will you also promise me you won't tell your sister or David I'm home?"

The father and daughter came out of the bedroom and found Mark feeding Jerry.

Dan looked at the clock, and then grabbed his thermos and lunchbox from on top of the fridge, as he filled the thermos with coffee he spoke to Becky.

"Hey Beck, can you take your brother to Jackie's for me? I'm running late for work."

Becky shook her head and Dan put the cap on his thermos, quickly packed his lunchbox with a soda, chips, and then quickly made a PBJ and left. "Bye." He said as he walked through the utility room.

Becky sat next to Mark, and DJ threw his bowl in the sink, grabbed his back pack and left for school. Mark continued feeding Jerry with his back to Becky.

"Mark I'm sorry I locked you out." Becky finally said.

Mark stopped then turned around. "And I'm sorry for yelling at you." The two hugged, and Becky took over feeding Jerry.

In Chicago, Darlene and David ate eggs that David made.

"David I want to go back home for the weekend. I really want to see my dad." Darlene said, referring to Lanford as her 'home'.

Okay, Darlene. We'll drive there tomorrow night."


	22. You're Re-Tension Please

The next day Darlene and David both got off work and began the hour and a half drive to Lanford. The plan was that they were going to spend the night at 714 Delaware street and then go visit Dan in the morning.

When they pulled into the driveway they were shocked to find all the lights on, and Dan sitting on the couch with Jerry watching TV.

Darlene and David's jaws dropped as Dan stood up in surprise.

"When did you get home?" Darlene asked, in much the same way as Becky.

Dan looked at his feet as he took Darlene by the shoulder gently guided her to his room. Dan couldn't think of a way to tell Darlene he was sorry so he used the same exact words he said to Becky. "Darlene, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's just I have a million things going on in my head right now and I'm scared to death of jumping into my life at home because I'm afraid that something will happen and I'll run to the booze again."

He watched his middle child look him up and down like a detective would a suspect.

Dan would never admit it but Darlene was his favorite so when she responded it shocked and also hurt Dan just a little.

"So you were afraid to tell us you were home because you thought talking to us make you want to drink?"

Dan waved his hands trying to sum up the right words. "No, no. That's not what I'm saying Darlene. I'm saying that I just wanted to be home a little so I could figure out in my head how to handle things. I was going to tell you this weekend I swear." Darlene stood there shaking her head and Dan tried to not think about how much Darlene was like her mother right now.

Darlene was furious at her dad. She felt somehow betrayed by her father; she didn't exactly know why all she knew was that she was mad.

"Save it for AA." Darlene snarled and stomped out of the room leaving Dan alone. Dan sighed and fell on his back on his bed. He felt hurt by her words, but chalked it up to her pregnancy hormones (as a father with four kids. He knew what it was like to be around a pregnant lady and it wasn't always pretty.)

"Roseanne if you saw that can you give me some answer as to how I'm supposed to handle that?" Dan looked around the room and listened closely. He got zero response and so he stood up and went to the living room.

Darlene and DJ were absent from the room so Dan sat down on the chair in front of the fake fireplace. He watched David's body language and could tell that the father to be had something on his mind.

"David? Something on your mind, you look more nervous than usual." Dan said his arms resting on the arm rests.

David's eyes shifted. Dan understood and stood up motioning for David to follow him. They went to Dan's room, and once again Dan sat on the bed.

"What is it David?"

David sat on the chair in the room and Dan turned to face him. "Mr. Conner, can you tell me how uh…it was for you when Mrs. Conner was pregnant for the first time?"

Dan laughed a little. "Emotional roller coaster. Trench warfare. Jury Duty. Prison Time. Any or all of these could describe those extraordinary nine months."

David leaned in with his hands on his knees, he laughed a little because he found Dan's words a funny. "So it's normal to not know whats going on in their head?"

Dan quit smiling and tried to make himself serious. "David, when you're girl is pregnant, there's all these chemical reactions going on inside them that I don't think _they _know whats going on in their head. When Mrs. Conner was pregnant with Darlene she constantly smelled me. When she was pregnant with Becky I caught her trying to taste dirt." Dan talked but also watched David shift uncomfortably. "What's the real problem David?"

"I don't know how to respond to her. She wakes up at night practically crying and then laughs when people lose on The Price is Right. I just want to know if there's a secret or something…"

Dan smiled again. "Well David, Darlene always laughs when people lose on The Price is Right, you should know that. And I'm sorry to say there really isn't a secret. All I can tell you is whatever she wants you do what will make her happy, and stay away as much as you can when she throws things because I can tell you from experience the doctors in the ER won't always believe you slipped and cracked your head open and suffered no other injuries when you have a cut on your head that needs 10 stitches."

David looked at Dan curiously, as he imagined a young and pregnant Roseanne launching some odd object at Dan's head. "What if I don't know what will make her happy?"

Dan smiled again. "You guess, and if you're wrong well remember the knife aint in that deep." Dan reached over and patted David on the leg. Dan stood up and left the room.

Up in DJ's room, DJ paced the room and Darlene sat on the bed. "Darlene, there's this great film festival in St. Louis next week and I want your help."

Darlene stared at her brother and then smiled as she figured out what her brother was saying. "Yeah? What'd you tell dad?"

DJ sat at the chair at his desk. "I told him it was a Steven Spielberg tribute in Chicago and that my AV club was going and that it was free."

Darlene smiled again. "So you want me to cover for you right?"

"Please?" DJ cupped his hands together like he was praying.

"Okay, but you'll owe me big time."

The brother and sister came down stairs, and the first person Darlene looked at was her dad and it was a nasty look. Dan tried in vain to ignore it but found he couldn't. "You guys hungry?" Dan asked, as Darlene sat on the couch next to David.

Darlene looked away and David answered no. "Where's Jerry?" Darlene asked DJ specifically.

"Asleep in his room." DJ answered. DJ looked at his dad and took the window of opportunity given him. "Hey Dad? Uh have you made up your mind about Chicago?"

Dan looked at Darlene. "You can go if your sister will agree to check on you for me." DJ and Darlene looked at each other.

"I don't care." Darlene said coldly while looking straight at Dan.

David just sat back feeling uncomfortable. He could sense the tension between Dan and Darlene and wondered what happened between them. Suddenly Darlene sprang up from the couch and grabbed her coat. "I'm going to Jackie's." She said before marching out the door and slamming it.

David stood up and took a step forward but Dan put his arm on David's shoulder and stopped him. "No David. If she wanted you to go with her she would have told you. She's pissed at me, so she's just going to Jackie's to talk about me and she probably wouldn't want you to be there anyway." David listened and sat back down. Dan, DJ and David spent the rest of the night watching TV.


	23. AA, Darlene, and Smoking

Jackie was sitting on the floor playing with Andy when Darlene came pounding on her door. "Darlene? What are you doing here?"

Darlene barged in the house and sat on the couch, red with fury. "Getting away from my dad." She picked Andy up off the floor and put him in her lap.

Jackie stood there concerned, "Yeah? What happened?" Jackie pulled a chair from underneath the table and sat down facing Darlene.

"He didn't tell me he was home and then hes like he kept it a secret because we'd make him drink or something."

Jackie shook her head. "Darlene your dad is recovering from two big things in his life. He's trying to handle everything that's going on in his life in a way that he won't drive his kids away from him. He wanted a few days alone with just the boys so he could get used to a sober life." Jackie watched Darlene's body language.

"His words basically said we'd make him want to drink." Darlene said through gritted teeth.

"Come on, you don't really believe that do you?" Jackie watched as all the hostility left Darlene.

"No I guess I don't. I just feel a little betrayed that he didn't tell me he was home."

Jackie leaned forward and touched her niece. "Are you sure this isn't your hormones talking?"

Darlene's face changed and she slid down in the couch.

"I don't know what to think anymore. I just wish mom was here."

Jackie stood up and sat back down on the couch next to Darlene. "Darlene, I was concerned about how your dad would react to your pregnancy. I was honestly afraid it would make him start drinking again, and I'm glad it didn't. Your dad loves all of you and you might not be able to see it but he's different. He's quieter, he looks like he doesn't sleep good or eat. Notice how much weight he's lost? He's afraid to death of pushing you kids away. Give him time."

Darlene could have responded a hundred different ways but she kept quiet. Her, Andy and Jackie watched TV all night. Then Jackie put Andy to bed and Darlene fell asleep on the couch.

In the morning Darlene woke up to Andy crying so she went to take care of it and beat Jackie to it.

"Oh Darlene I'm not used to someone taking care of Andy before me."

Darlene held Andy up. "And I'm not used to waking up to crying babies. Might as well get used to it now."

"Hey can you watch him while I take a shower?" Darlene nodded and then Jackie went to take a shower.

In the morning Dan sat at the kitchen table staring at his truck keys. With every passing moment he had an urge to drink. He'd had lots of urges to drink but not as powerful as this. When DJ came down stairs carrying Jerry the urge he had subsided.

"Dad what's for breakfast?" DJ asked.

Dan broke his gaze from the truck keys and then held out his hands for DJ to give him Jerry.

"Cinnamon toast?" Dan asked, as David came into the basement from the utility room.

Dan looked from David to DJ. He was still uncomfortable with David, but he was slowly learning how to be comfortable with him. "Boys, can you watch Jerry for me?"

Both boys said yes and then Dan stood up, gave David back Jerry, grabbed his keys and left without explanation. It was dark and foggy but Dan had no problem driving to the Community Center.

He found a directory on the wall and went to room 4 which was where the AA meetings were held. Some men and women were already seated as they waited for the meeting to begin. Dan felt a little unsettled but he walked to the table with coffee and got himself a cup.

An older man approached Dan cheerfully. "Hello, I'm Benny." The man held out his right hand.

"Hi, I'm Dan." Dan shook Bennie's hand.

Benny studied Dan. "First meeting huh?"

Dan said nothing but shook his head. He knew he shouldn't feel so shy but he was anyway. "Hey you can't do anything without doing it for the first time." Benny was smiling and very friendly. He took Dan's sleeve and led him to a chair. Dan sat down nervously. "How long has it been?"

Dan looked down at his feet. "Six weeks and six days. I uh got out of rehab a week ago." Somehow he couldn't bring himself to look at the man who was making him his friend.

Benny put his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Listen son, it gets easier. You've got to convince yourself that every time you want that drink it's not worth drinking it." Dan nodded as everyone sat down and the meeting began.

Meanwhile at 714 Delaware Street Darlene, Jackie and Andy walked in the door to find DJ and David sitting at the kitchen table.

Jackie walked in the kitchen while Darlene high tailed it to the basement. Andy walked to DJ and DJ pulled a chair for Andy to sit.

"Where's your dad?" Jackie asked both boys.

"Uh he left about an hour ago." DJ said while feeding Jerry.

"Where'd he go?" Jackie was curious and worried.

"He uh was really sad about uh Darlene." David said also worried.

"He didn't leave to go drink did he?" Jackie said with her back to the living room as Dan appeared behind her.

"No, _actually _I left to not drink." Dan said rather cheerfully. Hearing Dan's voice Jackie turned around and faced up to him.

"Dan we need to talk." Jackie declared and then made her way to Dan's room.

"Ooh a change in rooms…" Dan whined as he followed Jackie.

Once in the room Dan sat on his bed and made himself comfortable with his back laying on the backboard and his legs straight.

"Please tell me how I screwed up with Darlene, because I didn't mean to tell her that she would make me drink."

Jackie stood still as she studied Dan. "'I didn't mean to tell her' is that your way of saying its true but you didn't want her to know?"

Dan shook his head and then rubbed his hands on his face in frustration. "Maybe I felt that for a little bit."

Jackie repositioned her feet. "Dan she thinks your blaming her for your drinking."

Dan went quiet for a minute. "I blamed my life for my drinking, Jackie. I didn't want Darlene to feel like that."

Jackie said something quick before leaving the room.

"You need to tell her that yourself."

When Dan was alone he realized he had a craving for a cigarette and remembered that Roseanne had hidden a pack of Marlboro's in a drawer. She had hid them from him and he never bothered to bring it up to her until the next time he got in big trouble and he could use it as leverage.

He held the pack in his hand, debating lighting up. Then he remembered the time when he found out Roseanne had been smoking behind his back and he gave her a big old lecture. He started to feel guilty for the thought and then went to the bathroom and flushed the cigarettes down the toilet.


	24. A Shave, A Hair Cut and an Apology

I DID HAVE to drown those poor cigarettes for two reasons. 1. Andy and Jerry could possibly get them out of the trash can (not likely but still) and 2. I hate smoking! I think it's disgusting and smells horrible. I apologize if you smoke, I am totally okay with people who smoke AKA Half of my family and I don't think that the gov't should be able to limit or take away people's ability to smoke. I just don't like it or do it personally. Interesting fact: Look at Dan's overalls and back jean pockets and sometimes you can see John Goodman's pack of cigarettes (Don't know how I noticed that but I did in multiple episodes)

Dan felt unnaturally nervous as he made his way downstairs to the basement. As he figured the door to Darlene's room was closed. He took a deep breath and then knocked.

"Darlene please open the door." Dan turned the knob and realized it was locked. He put his ear to it and heard nothing. "Darlene please open the door." Dan shook his head while he got no reply. He waited for a minute, then "Darlene. _I do have the key to this door."_ After thirty seconds the door was roughly opened and Darlene's back was turned to Dan when Dan walked in.

Darlene sat on her bed and glared bullets at her dad. Dan watched her and saw a young Roseanne. It was amazing how much Darlene was like Roseanne.

"Darlene I am really sorry for what I said." Dan proclaimed earnestly, as Darlene kept glaring and sitting silently. Dan was waiting for a response but received none so he continued, "I'm trying so hard to get used to the idea of being a grandfather, and every time there was ever anything going on with you or Becky your mom handled it while I either threw a temper tantrum or was pushed away. Like when we thought something was wrong with Jerry." Dan studied Darlene's facial expressions as the two sat quietly for a few seconds before he continued, "I really didn't mean what I said." Darlene held her glare and Dan started to grow annoyed that his daughter who always had a comeback wasn't speaking to him. "Please say _something." _

Darlene finally broke her gaze and her eyes wandered around the basement hitting every direction except her dads. "Did you know you were an alcoholic?"

Dan had kept his gaze on his daughter but this caused him to feel uncomfortable. He grabbed the metal folding chair from, underneath the desk and sat down giving him enough time to think over his answer. Once he was seated he shifted his weight back and forth.

"I knew I drank a lot." Dan could feel himself blushing, a rare reaction for him in the presence of his kids. Dan couldn't bring himself to look at Darlene, so he cocked his head as he absent mindedly studied his wedding ring which he realized had tiny little scratches embedded in the silver. "There were times when I thought I maybe an alcoholic but I forced myself to think about something else and forget it. I guess you'd call that denial."

Finally he looked up at Darlene who had lightened up and sat back on her bed. Dan could see her baby bump clear as day, as she spoke. "Were you drinking that night?" Dan's eyes showed confusion so Darlene clarified. "The night of the accident. We're you drinking?"

Dan looked down again, as he searched his memory. He had often tried in vain to remember the accident and that last dinner he shared with his wife. For whatever reason he couldn't. Dr. John had told him that he may never remember that night but there is the possibility he could remember eventually.

"I don't remember anything about that night. The only thing I remember is coming home from work and feeding Jerry a bottle."

Darlene looked at her dad and realized how much weight he'd lost. She was beginning to feel the anger in her leave her body as she was no longer pissed at her dad…entirely.

"God dad do you ever eat? Or shave?" Dan smiled. He had won his daughter back.

Dan looked down at himself and realized that his clothes were too big for him as she had lost at least thirty pounds from his time in rehab. It was true that every time he ate it was a struggle since he never seemed to feel hungry. He had actually taken this as an opportunity to eat healthy since he didn't even like eating his favorite junk food. "I look good though right?"

Darlene nodded and stood up and then wrapped her arms around her dad. Dan hugged her back and knew everything was right again.

When Dan and Darlene came up stairs and in the kitchen, Jackie grabbed Dan by surprise and forced him into a kitchen chair which had been placed in the middle of the kitchen. As soon as he was seated DJ and David each took one of his shoulder and held him still with his hands behind the chair.

Dan was both annoyed by this and curious. Jackie grabbed a barber's case and produced a pair of scissors. Dan then knew what was going on. He was going to get a haircut.

"Jackie! Don't you come near me with those scissors!" Jackie smiled devilishly and then went to work on Dan's hair. Dan had the instinct to move his head and be uncooperative but he decided to cooperate anyway. After ten minutes she was done with the scissors and switched to an electric razor. Dan knew that his hair was being cut short and could feel all his excess hair falling all over him and making him itchy. Soon she was done and the boys let go. Dan stood up turned around and made a sudden movement that sent the boys running to the living room. He ran his hand over his head and could feel how short his hair was.

Dan started to walk away. "You're not finished."

Dan smiled weakly. "May be I don't want to shave."

"Shave or a manicure. You're choice." Dan smiled grabbed the barbers case went to the bathroom and shaved his beard.

David and DJ came back in the kitchen and gave Jackie the twenty dollars that they owed her for making Dan look like Dan again.

When Dan came out of the bathroom, he had short hair and a baby smooth chin, DJ was happy about this because his dad now looked like his dad. DJ also noticed that Chicago Bulls hoodie that he always wears now was too big for him now. Dan sat down in the chair that was in front of the fireplace and grabbed the day's newspaper. DJ smiled. He knew his dad was back to normal.

Darlene joined them in the living room as Andy played with blocks on the floor and Jerry sat on David's lap. Jackie soon followed and all were hanging out in the living room.

Soon Becky and Mark came through the front door.

"Hey Beck." Dan said putting his newspaper down. Everyone else greeted them too. Mark looked around and then sat in the end of the couch as Becky sat on the ottoman in front of the chair by the door.

"What are you guys doing?" Becky asked as she realized that nothing was going on.

"Nothing." DJ said. After that the whole family sat in the living room doing nothing until out of nowhere Dan put down his newspaper.

"Let's go bowling." Everyone looked at each other and decided that that was a good idea.


	25. John Goodman is From St Louis

The bowling alley was surprisingly dead for a Saturday so there wasn't a wait for two lanes next to each other. They decided that they'd split into four teams. Couples Darlene, David, Mark and Becky and then Jackie, Dan, DJ and the boys. The winners would go against the other winners in the championship. Dan would go with DJ if they ended up winning against Jackie.

David and Mark and never really gone bowling with the Conner's so when Dan rolled a strike in every frame but two they watched in amazement and laughed hard when he danced after each strike.

They all carried on conversations between turns, as the girls were happy to spend time with their family. Jackie bought everyone soda, and Dan found out that he liked Dr. Pepper. Darlene ate like crazy and came close to trying everything on the menu by the end of the night.

"Yabba dabba doo!" Dan yelled as he did a victory leap. His family stared at him and he realized he was mocking Fred Flintstone. As expected Dan and DJ beat Jackie and went against Mark and Becky. It was a surprisingly close game but Dan and DJ won. Darlene and David came dead last. They never counted Andy and Jerry so Jackie came second to last.

The family left the alley happily and everyone went on their merry way.

On Sunday Dan and DJ spent the whole day cleaning the whole house and the garage. Then that night they dropped Jerry off with Becky and Mark and then went to the movies and saw _Jurassic Park the Lost World._

A week had passed with little drama or activity. The Conner's got into a groove where Dan would get up in the morning change Jerry, wake up DJ, DJ would feed Jerry while Dan took a shower, then Dan would come out and DJ would leave for school and Dan would make Jerry's diaper bag and drop him off at Jackie's and go to work. When he'd get off work, Dan would usually go to AA then pick up Jerry, come home and make dinner.

On Friday DJ and his friends left for Chicago, so Dan took the opportunity to host a poker night late at night. Luckily Jerry went right to sleep and Dan enjoyed his first poker game in almost a month and a half.

This poker game put Dan a tad bit at unease. He had made it clear that he didn't mind if his friends drank but that didn't mean he didn't feel the urge. He could tell that his friends also felt unease about drinking in front of Dan.

Also his friends were doing everything in their power to limit the conversation to topics that wouldn't cause Dan to miss/remember Roseanne. Considering they usually talked about sexual topics and their wives or girlfriends that only left cars and tools.

When the game was over Dan had collected 32 dollars plus a sense of accomplishment for not giving into his urges. As he was cleaning up the kitchen table the phone rang. Dan wondered who it could be this late at night.

"Hello?" He said, happily.

"Dan, I saw you're kid at a gas station outside of Okawville."

Dan couldn't believe what he heard. "What?"

"Your son and some friends." Dan's friend said in a confirming way.

"Thanks Rocko. Bye." Dan hung up but then dialed Darlene's number.

"Hello?" David said sleepily as he lay next to Darlene in their apartment in Chicago.

"David put my daughter on the phone." David knew the jig was up after Dan referred to Darlene as his daughter. David turned and gently pushed Darlene awake. She woke up and took the phone.

"Hello?" She said also sleepily.

"Hi, Darlene. I was just calling to see if you've talked to DJ today?" Dan's voice was normal like nothing was wrong.

"Yeah he got into Chicago just fine, dad." Darlene said sleepily.

"Really, so what was he doing in Okawville?" Darlene rolled her eyes.

"Going to a film festival in St. Louis." Darlene said before hanging up the phone, leaving Dan mad at two of his four kids.

In the morning, Dan drove his beat up pickup truck to St. Louis, going through every bad thing he did as a kid in his mind to figure out why his bad karma was coming back around to him in the form of DJ. He drove on and on until he hit farmland and eventually he saw the faintest glimpse of the Gateway Arch in the distance. He continued on eventually crossing a bridge over the Mississippi River. By then he needed gas so he pulled into the first gas station he saw.

As he put the nozzle in the gas tank he spoke to the man about his dad's age on the other side of the pump. "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me where the film festival is?"

The man nodded. "Forest Park." The man continued talking and rattled off street directions while pointing. "The Children's Hospital overlooks the field and the zoo."

Dan nodded. "Thank you, sir." Dan finished putting gas in his truck and then crossed the parking lot to go pay.

Later Dan circled Forest Park looking for a parking spot; finally he gave up and parked on the side of the road and walked to the field. As he got closer and closer to the field there were more and more people until eventually the crowd was thick. Dan imagined this was a little like Woodstock.

There was a huge screen at the far end of the field. The film festival was a cheaper one so some people were sprawled out on blankets and others were seated on foldable chairs. Dan scanned the crowds looking for his sons black hair. He stood still for a few minutes just looking, when he was bumped into from behind and knocked down on the ground.

He was on his stomach, as he heard a whole bunch of hollering and profanity being exchanged between three or four drunken men. One of the men, who were surprisingly bigger than Dan, tripped over Dan's leg and ended up on his stomach on the back of Dan's legs. Dan had a quick football dog pile flash back and struggled to get off the ground, he was unable too so he bent his arm and tried to elbow the guy on top of him. He was unable to do this, and was pinned on the ground until two cops came and broke up the fight. One cop pulled the man on Dan off of Dan and Dan remained on the ground fearing the cop's reaction.

"Put your hands behind your back and interlock your fingers." Dan heard one cop say, sternly. "I said put your hands behind your back and interlock your fingers." The same cop said louder. Dan realized the cop was talking to him and did as he told.

As soon as he did Dan felt the familiar metal feeling on his skin and heard the clinging of hand cuffs. The cop grabbed Dan by the collar of his coat.

"You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney; if you cannot afford one will be provided for you. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law." Dan felt his stomach sink while he was being read his rights.

By now two more cops were on the scene and the biggest one took control of Dan and led him through the crowd.

Dan's leg was sore and he struggled to keep pace with the young cop. People in the crowd were ignorant and didn't get out of the way. One man shoulder checked Dan and Dan tripped unable to catch himself with his hands behind his back. The cop helped Dan get back on his feet and led Dan to a cop car.

The last thing Dan saw as the cop pushed his head down into the car was DJ staring in shock with his friends.

"Hey DJ, isn't that your dad?" Xavier asked.

"Yeah it was and I am screwed." DJ shook his head, as he quickly remembered the day his dad told him her was in jail. "I have to get to a pay phone."

DJ and his friends walked around until they found a pay phone. DJ put the money inside it and dialed. The phone rang three times before David answered.

"Hello?" David answered cheerfully.

"David, is Darlene there?" DJ asked frantically.

David cocked his head, "Uh yeah." David got Darlene's attention and then handed her the phone.

"Hello?" Darlene answered.

"Darlene! Dad found out and came to get me!" DJ was interrupted by his sister.

"So avoid him. Put on a Cardinals hat or something, he'd never think to look for you wearing one of those." Darlene said coolly.

"No you don't understand! I saw a cop put him into a cop car." DJ's voice was cracking with excitement.

Darlene paused for a minute. "Are you _sure _it was dad?"

DJ shook his head, "Positive."

Darlene looked down at her feet. "Well you're going to have to be the second kid to bail dad out."

"What do you mean the second kid?"

"Didn't dad tell you? _I _was the one to bail him out the first time."

"_You? You,_ bailed him out? I thought that was mom." DJ found himself sort of laughing, as the image of his Dad behind bars looking at Darlene filled his head.

"Of course you did."

DJ thought for a minute. "How do I do I bail him out?"

Darlene smiled. "Go to the police station. Find a cop behind a desk and tell him your there to bail Daniel Conner out. When he tells you how much his bail is and you don't have enough money call me."

DJ shook his head in annoyance of his sister. "How much was it to bail him out the first time, Darlene?"

"100 Dollars and you're not really bailing him out. You have to give him the money since you're a minor."

The phone commanded DJ to put in more money so the two siblings said bye and hung up.

"What'd your sister say?" Xavier asked.

"I have to bail out my dad." DJ's friends came together. "Where's the police station?"

When Darlene hung up the phone she was giggling. David smiled. "What's so funny, Darlene?"

"Yet again my dad is being bailed out by one of his kids…" Darlene said out loud as David watched Darlene dial Jackie's phone number.

"Hello?" Jackie answered cheerfully.

"Aunt Jackie? DJ just called me and said dad was arrested."

Jackie paused for a minute. "Come again?"

"My dad just got arrested."

Jackie looked quizzically. "In St. Louis?"

"I think so. Let's just hope he wasn't wearing his Cubs hat."

Jackie frowned and looked down at her feet. "St. Louis won't let DJ bail your dad out, not if he's from out of the state. If DJ calls you again tell him to just wait for me to come."

"Jackie, you got the boys. We'll go."

Jackie shook her head even though Darlene couldn't see. "No, no, Darlene. I'll go. Besides I'm more qualified to handle your brother."

Darlene smiled as she imagined the horrible death that was going to come upon DJ when their father gets out of Jail. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure."

"Okay bye"

"Bye."

Dan felt very claustrophobic in the back of that cop car with the other man who was bigger than him sitting next to him. They both had their hands handcuffed behind them and seat belts across their chests.

With every foot driven Dan became more and more concerned about the other man's extremely violent stare. Finally the car pulled into a parking lot. Dan watched as each of the cops opened a door. The same cop opened Dan's door and Dan slid out and the man held a firm grip on Dan's coat. Dan was very careful to be as cooperating as possible.

They were led inside the building and through a door marked: BOOKING and were both led to a holding cell. Dan's cop undid the hand cuffs behind his back but then put Dan's right hand in a handcuff connected to a chain that was connected to a hook on the floor. "A duty officer will be with you shortly." He said.

Dan watched his fellow prisoner also be chained to the floor and was relieved to see that neither of their chains would allow them to make contact. The other cop left and the two were left by themselves. Dan wondered where the other two men were and then found himself craving a cigarette really bad.

Within eight minutes an older cop close to his sixties came and unlocked Dan's handcuff. Dan made sure to stay still while the older man took Dan's left hand and cuffed that one. At least Dan's cuffs were in front of him of him, he thought.

The cop sat Dan in a chair and then redid the handcuffs so Dan had one free hand while the other was handcuffed to the armrest.

The cop sat behind the desk, and tapped the mouse of his computer.

"Look, I'll make you a deal. You cooperate with me and I won't waste your time." Dan shook his head. "Okay, what's your name?" The man turned nicer.

"Daniel Stephen Conner."

"How do you spell that O-R?"

"No. E-R."

"Okay," the cop typed on the keyboard.

"Age?"

"45."

"Birthday?"

"June 20, 1952."

"Address?"

Dan rattled off his address effortlessly. "714 Delaware Street, Lanford Illinois, 51062."

"Illinois?"

"Yeah."

"Have you consumed any alcoholic beverages or drugs today?"

"No. I uh gave up drinking."

The cop flashed a weak smile. "Good for you. Are you married?"

Dan had been answering the questions as soon as possible but now Dan went quiet, now. "She uh was killed in a car accident."

The cop seemed sympathetic. "I'm sorry. Do you have any kids?"

"Four."

"Can I have their names?"

Dan named then in the order they were born. "Rebecca, Darlene, David Jacob, and Jerry. Becky she has a different last name. It's Healy."

The cop nodded as he pulled open a drawer and put a piece of paper in front of Dan.

"Do you understand the rights given you?" The cop asked.

"Yes."

"Good sign this to acknowledge that."

Dan did as he was told then the old cop motion for an African American cop to take Dan away.

The new cop led Dan to another room where he took off Dan's handcuffs and allowed Dan to take off his belt, his shoelaces, wedding ring, and watch. He also took off his coat. The cop watched him. "Un-tuck you shirt." Dan nodded and un-tucked his shirt.

The cop led Dan to a podium where he finger printed Dan, and then led him to a wall for his mug shot. Dan looked in the camera and smiled weakly, much as the same way he smiled last time he was getting his mug shot taken.

Finally Dan was given the option of a phone call which he took. He called Jackie, and she was giddy. "Dan, didn't you learn your lesson last time?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "Don't go there Jackie, I'm innocent this time."

"Oh innocent?" Dan was really annoyed now, after all the last time he was in jail it was because he was protecting Jackie and now she was acting like this. She shouldn't be acting like that even if she was kidding.

"Jackie. GET. HERE. QUICK." Dan growled hiding his mouth from the cop guarding him.

Jackie went more serious. "I talked to Darlene. I will drop the kids off with my mom and then come and rescue you."

Dan sighed. "Don't forget to leave my son to me."

"Bye."

"Bye." Dan hung up the phone and then the cop escorted Dan to another cell.

About twenty other guys were in this big open cell. Dan could guess who was in for what. Three guys had bright, risqué skull tattoo's and five others had thick glasses and were hiding in a corner, Dan walked slowly and casually to the other corner of the cell and sat down, careful to not stare at any one or make eye contact. He was really craving a cigarette.

As he sat there in the cell Dan thought over everything. He had a sinking helpless feeling in his stomach, as his situation looked grim. Last time he was arrested the cops stalled processing him and it only took an hour for him to be bailed out. Although that time it was Darlene. Dan felt mad that he was arrested and that DJ ran away to St. Louis. He also found himself thinking about being a grandfather, being sober, Roseanne, Jackie, Jerry, his daughters, Bev, him mom Audrey, his dad Ed, Crystal, Lonnie and his brother and sister.

DJ took twenty minutes to gain the courage needed to go into the police station, Xavier offered to go in with him, but DJ declined wanting to keep this an experience between him and his dad.

He took a breath and opened the door. Inside there were chairs lined up like a waiting room at the doctor's and then there were three cops behind a long counter. DJ made his way to the counter.

"Can I help you?" Asked one of the uniformed officers.

DJ was nervous but spoke any way. "I'm here to see about bailing out my dad."

The officer nodded and typed on her computer. "How old are you son?"

"14." DJ squeaked. The cop shook his head.

"Sorry son, you're too young, you have to be at least 18."

DJ spoke a bit louder and faster. "Can I give him the money?"

The cop nodded softly. "What's you're dads name?"

DJ thought about it for a minute. He knew his dads name but didn't know for sure if it was Daniel.

"Daniel Conner."

The cop scrolled the computer. "Sorry, no. Not if he was arrested out of state."

DJ made a gesture that he agreed and then made a quick getaway before any one asked any questions or comments about him.

Xavier was waiting outside for him. "Any luck?"

DJ shook his head no then made his way back to the pay phone. He dialed Darlene's number.

"You are so dead DJ." Was his sister's response.

DJ cringed. "Is it really that bad?"

"Jackie's coming to bail out dad."

DJ closed his eyes. "Great."

"Jackie wants you to go to your hotel and stay there." Darlene said, liking how that rolled off her tongue.

"All right. Bye." DJ whined and then went back.

An hour passed and Jackie found that she had to wait for her mother to finish with her old ladies bridge club that was taking place in her mother's apartment at the retirement center.

"Mom, I really need to leave. Can't you watch the boys _and _play cards?" Jackie asked, minding her tone still trying to better her relationship with her mom.

"I'm sorry, Jackie, but you'll just have to wait for me to finish. It'll only be twenty more minutes." Jackie watched her mother's face and saw a devilish grin as Jackie realized what was going on.

Jackie felt furious at her mother but sat down and swallowed her anger. This was not the time to start a fight.

In the jail cell Dan swallowed repeatedly trying to get over this cigarette craving. He was extremely hungry and tired but was afraid to attempt sleeping. He grew restless but remained in his spot which he deemed safe. A uniformed cop came to the cell door.

"CONNER!" Dan looked around and when no one else responded he stood up and went to the door.

The cop unlocked the door and let Dan out. Dan brought his hands together in front of him but the cop shook her head and gently tapped them down. "Nah, you're being released."

Dan looked at the cop curiously. "Witnesses claimed you were not involved in the fight. They said you were just knocked down."

"That's what happened." Dan smiled.

"Okay. Come with me to get your stuff and you're free to go." Dan followed as the cop led him out of the holding room and through a different door. They ended up in a small room packed with bins that were overstocked with stuff. The cop found the one marked: CONNER, D. and brought it down.

Dan rifled through it and found his belt, his shoelaces, his hoodie, his wallet and his watch. There was also a tiny Ziploc bag containing his wedding ring. Dan took a minute and put these items all on including his wedding ring. The cop produced a form.

"This is the inventory receipt for our records." Dan nodded in understanding and signed it. As the cop was leading down out of the room, the cop turned. "Oh yeah, a kid came by looking for you. We told him he was too young to post bail."

Dan rolled his eyes. "Thank you."

DJ and Xavier's hotel room had two beds, a small table, a dresser, and a bathroom. DJ felt the weight of guilt crushing his chest. He left the room and went to a vending machine. As he bent down to take the Coke from the bottom he felt an eerie presence and turned around quickly.

"Oh DJ I hope you still go to church because only God will be able to help you now." Dan said looking down at his son as he slowly forced DJ to back up until his back was touching the vending machine.

"Dad I'm sorry…" DJ was trembling as Dan gently took his son but the hood. Dan was not going to hurt DJ, but he did want to scare DJ. The two walked and DJ was able to get to his hotel room. Xavier appeared. He saw Dan and began to walk away but Dan who saw him back called Xavier into the room.

"Do your parents know where you are?" Dan asked sternly and Xavier and DJ locked eyes.

"No." Xavier finally said.

Dan stood straighter and then pointed to both boys. "Both of you get your crap."

The boys immediately did as they were told and Dan led them to the checkout guests where both boys paid for the room.

It was a long and agonizing walk to Dan's old blue pickup truck. The boys climbed in, DJ prayed that the truck would start and felt relieved when it did.

The drive from St. Louis Missouri to Lanford Illinois was uncomfortable, quiet and depressing. Dan had to stop and get gas again.

Once they reached the Lanford city limits Dan spoke to Xavier. "What street do you live on?"

"Sycamore." Dan nodded and then drove to Sycamore and Xavier navigated Dan to his house. When they reached his house, Dan parked the truck in the driveway and then told DJ to stay in the car.

Dan knocked on the door with Xavier beside him. A man older than Dan answered the door.

"Excuse me sir. I'm Dan Conner. DJ Conner's father. My son and Xavier here ran away to attend a film festival in St. Louis yesterday." Xavier's father nodded grimly and called down Xavier's mother. His dad told his mom what happened, and then his mom spoke to Dan.

"Thank you sir for returning Xavier to us. I appreciate it." Dan and the parents shook hands.

DJ waited in the truck until Dan came out. Dan said nothing and drove home. Dan parked in the backyard like usual and the two went inside. In the kitchen Dan pointed to the chair that was next to the phone.

"That looks like a nice place to sit." DJ looked at the chair quizzically and sat down. Dan watched him and then went into the living room and watched TV. DJ sat there and began to feel like a six year old in time out. DJ watched the hands of the clock do a 360 and started to feel impatient as he had no idea how long he was to be confined to this chair.

Finally Jackie appeared with the boys. DJ's eyes pleaded with her for an intervention but Jackie shook her head. "I'm with your dad on this one." Andy rushed past DJ and ran to Dan and jumped on him.

"Uncle Dan!" Andy said giving Dan a hug.

"Hi little man!" Jackie gave Jerry to Dan.

"I do believe he's ready to take his first steps." Jackie said as she sat in the chair that was in front of the fireplace.

Dan looked at Jerry who had definitely grown a lot, as Jackie turned to look at DJ. "How long is he chained there?" She asked.

Dan looked at DJ too. "Armageddon."

Jackie shook her head and the two people watched TV. (I make them watch TV a lot don't I?)


	26. Dodgeball and Visitors

Sunday morning Dan and DJ were on the floor across from each while Jerry was in between them taking his first steps. DJ had his camera and for the first time ever one of Dan's kids had their first steps on camera.

"Come on Jerry!" Jerry took baby steps and walked unsurely into Dan's arms. "Good job, Jerry!" Dan hugged Jerry happily, and then Jerry laughed too and walked to DJ. The three boys laughed and had a great time. After an hour, Jerry had the walking thing down and was going around the house like a wild child. To Dan's utter amazement Jerry quickened his pace and learned to run.

As a father Dan knew he was screwed because he had gone through this very situation with Darlene who tried to escape every chance she ever got until Dan grew tired of it and carried her everywhere until she was five.

Now that Jerry was walking the house was soon a disaster area with toys everywhere. When DJ bombed his dad with a tiny Chicago Bulls foam ball, a small dodge ball war was declared as every soft ball in the house was gathered in the kitchen. DJ and Dan were both careful to not hurt Jerry and even let him participate.

One red ball zoomed past Dan who was standing by the front door. "HAHA You missed!" He said as he launched a bigger orange ball at DJ's head. DJ dodged it but unfortunately the family's heirloom was caught in the crossfire: The foot tall Godzilla that had sat on to the liquor cabinet since Becky's birth.

The three watched motionless as Godzilla fell hard and took the pictures and mini Godzilla with it. Once impact with the floor was made both Godzilla's stayed in perfect health amid tiny shards of glass that now covered the floor behind the couch.

Dan instinctively picked up Jerry and handed him to DJ, and then went and got the pan and broom and swept up the biggest shards and then got out the vacuum and sucked up the tiny miniscule ones in the carpet, as DJ stood in the same spot afraid of stepping on glass.

When he was done he and DJ went around and cleaned up the disaster area, just as they were finishing there was a knock on the door. When Dan opened the door he found a tall, blonde, and older woman standing on the porch. He looked at the lady curiously as he had no idea who this person was or what she wanted.

"Hello….?" Dan said as Jerry hugged his calves.

"Hi. I'm Barbara Healy." The lady said uptight.

Dan's mind reeled with different emotions. "You're David and Mark's mom?"

Barbara Heely tensed up. "Yes I am."

"I'm Dan Conner." Dan stood silently then moved aside and picked up Jerry and held him with one arm. "Do you want to come in?" He asked, subtly motioning for DJ to disappear.

Barbara walked in while she quickly glanced around the living room like a nosy neighbor. She saw that DJ was gone and sat down on the edge of the chair by the door. "I'm sorry to hear about your wife." She said sincerely.

Dan also sat down with Jerry and put him down. Jerry just sat down on the floor and played with MEGABLOKS. "Thank you…."

The two sat uncomfortably, until Barbara finally spoke. "I came here from Michigan because my friend told me that I was going to be a grandma." Barbara seemed to say this as she was boring holes into Dan's eyes. Dan shifted more uncomfortable than before and averted eyes contact. Although he was slowly getting used to it Darlene's pregnancy was still a sore subject for Dan. Dan struggled to think of something to say. He knew of Barbara's relationship with her boys so he didn't have exactly nice thoughts about her, but he also didn't want to cause drama in the family….and have it be his fault.

"Yeah I'm uh sorry no one told you." Dan said truthfully. Barbara rolled her eyes but let it go.

"I came here because I wanted to meet you." Barbara continued talking and Dan just listened. "After I went through my divorce and you took in David I was pissed at your family and David. But then I realized why he left, and began to wonder what your family was like. Then when I found out my son knocked up your daughter I really began to wonder."

Dan cringed a tiny bit at the use of the phrase "knocked up" but tried to hide that. "I can give you David and Marks phone numbers if you want."

Barbara shot up from the chair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here. Please don't tell my boys we talked." She said before disappearing out the door to never be seen again.

Dan stood in the living room confused as he tried to figure out what just happened.

DJ reappeared. "Was that Mark and David's mom?"

Dan looked at DJ. "Yeah it was. Don't tell them I talked to their mom. Understand?" Dan pointed his finger at DJ until DJ nodded his head. "Thank you. Now can you watch your brother while I work on my truck?"

DJ nodded again, and then Dan went to work on his truck.

About an hour later a Red Dodge truck pulled into the drive away and parked next to Dan's truck. Dan knew immediately that it was his friend Rocko.

Rocko had been a Co-owner of Four Aces Construction with Dan, Dwight and Chucky before the company went belly up. Now he owned and ran the Lanford Hardware Store and rather successfully.

Rocko got out of his truck and hovered behind Dan as Dan was bent over with his head underneath the hood of his truck. "Hey, Dan. I'm glad your back." Rocko was in his fifties but also in great health.

Dan pulled his head from under his hood. "I'm glad to be back, Rocko."

Rocko smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure you are."

Dan studied his good friend's body language and smiled back. "It's true, Rock."

Rock stopped smiling and went serious. "What's true?" Rocko was playing dumb. He knew that Dan knew he was beating around the bush.

Dan chuckled lightly. "I did quit drinking." Rocko watched Dan but Dan didn't seem at all mad or angered.

Rocko shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other and looked at his shoes. "I uh had heard rumors."

Dan smiled again. "This is Lanford of course you heard rumors. I haven't bought beer at the Buy N Bag in two months." Dan stuck his head back under the hood and reached over the engine with a wrench

Rocko chuckled uncomfortably. "Dan I came here to…well offer you a job."

Dan stopped what he was doing and looked up from under the hood at stared at his good friend. "I beg your pardon?"

Rocko smiled again. "I came here to offer you a job. Things are going great at the store, and well it's getting to be too much for me to manage. I got these lazy ass kids working for me and I need someone to help me manage them."

Dan continued to stare at his friend in utter disbelief. "You're serious."

Rocko unfolded his arms and relaxed. "I guess I am."

Dan unbent himself and stood straight, taking a rag and drying the oil from his hands and forearms. "I'm on the prison job." Dan said believing that he should finish dry walling the prison before he makes a new commitment.

Rocko shook his head. "I know, I know. And you always honor your commitments. That's partly the reason I want to hire you."

Dan took his hat off his head and wiped the sweat from his forward then put his hat back on his head. "Thanks for the offer…."

Rocko waved his hand. "Before you turn down the job, I want to tell you that the jobs yours when that prison is finished or before. Just please think about it before you turn it down."

Dan shook his head, "Yeah I will. Want anything to drink?"

"Whatever you got." Rocko said as he and Dan walked into the house, through the utility room and into the kitchen. Rocko pulled out a chair from the table and sat down. Dan handed him a Coke and sat down himself.

DJ came in and handed Jerry to Dan. "Xavier just called I'm going to the movies." Before DJ made it to the living room.

"DJ! I don't remember telling you could go to the movies." DJ stopped and turned around and locked eyes with his dad.

"That's because I didn't ask." DJ's attitude was fierce and typical of a fourteen year old.

Rocko watched as Dan held his baby son on his lap and seemed to take pleasure from this small fight. Dan continued, "Well you're still not going. There were all those movies you saw in St. Louis after all."

DJ glared at Dan and stormed off. Rocko leaned back in his chair, making himself at home. "I remember when my son was that age."

Dan smiled, and took a drink from his Coke. "The boy's grounded for a year and he doesn't even realize it."

"Can I see him?" Rocko asked, holding out his hands.

Dan put Jerry on the floor and Jerry walked into Rocko's hands. "It's amazing how much he looks like you."


	27. New Jobs and Old Boyfriends

On Monday Jackie was at work at the Lanford Lunchbox. Today she was waitressing and working the cash register, while Nancy was preparing the meat and Leon was busy being Leon. Jackie had just written down a couple's order when in through the door walked Booker, Jackie's ex-boss and ex-boyfriend. He was older, had shorter hair and was as hot as ever. Like a popular kid in high school he trudged to the counter at sat on a stool, much in the same way a teenaged Dan would in the presence of a teenaged Roseanne, while wearing a leather motorcycle helmet and slicked back hair.

Jackie hid all of her emotions and played hard to get. "What are you doing here Booker?"

Booker smiled wide and showed all his teeth. "Well I want a loose meat sandwich."

Leon heard this and butted his way into their conversation. "Get the man a sandwich, Jackie. Hi I'm Leon." Leon held out his right hand for a handshake, and shook hands with Booker.

"And he's gay." Jackie claimed in order to deter Leon. Leon locked eyes with Jackie and stayed where he was. With Roseanne gone, Jackie and become Leon's frenemy in her place.

Booker smiled slightly, "Uh that's okay…" He said looking at Leon.

Nancy called Leon and Leon left Jackie and Booker alone. Jackie stood there with her hands gripping the edge of the counter. "I thought you moved to Chicago." She said, trying to be nice.

"I did, but I lost my job…again, so I decided I'd move back to Lanford." Jackie stared at Booker.

"Well if you want to get back together with me I won't be able to do it. Not now…" Bookers face showed confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Booker asked, putting his hand closer to Jackie's.

Jackie looked Booker straight in the eyes. "A lot has changed since you were here last."

Booker's confusion remained. "I still don't understand."

"Roseanne died, Booker, Dan is tipping toeing on the line of insanity, I got pregnant, then got married and divorced. Becky got married, oh and we opened this place up." Booker took all this in and let it sink for a minute.

"Did you say Roseanne died?"

"Yes, she and Dan were in a car accident. Dan was okay but not Roseanne."

Bookers face registered extreme sadness. "I'm so sorry Jackie."

Jackie lightened up. "I'm sorry too Booker. You're just trying to be nice and I'm brushing you off."

Jackie and Booker watched each other silently for a minute. Then a customer called for Jackie and Jackie excused herself and went and took care of them. Booker stayed there a whole thirty minutes despite being finished with his sandwich. When Jackie came back, he spoke, "What would the possibility of us getting back together be?"

Jackie stared at him again. "Good, if I think about it long enough."

Booker shook his head and left.

When his AA meeting was over, Benny took Dan aside. "You know Danny, the secret to sobriety is finding one thing that you can do to get your mind off of whatever it is that makes you want to take that drink."

Dan listened too Benny. Benny was his sponsor and had gone to an AA meeting every day for twenty years. Benny first drank when he was twelve and was an alcoholic at 15. Once Dan asked why Benny continues to go to the meetings even after being sober for so long, Benny answered: "Because alcohol should have killed me and I don't believe in God." At first Dan had no idea what that meant and had often pondered that statement, now he thought he was slowly beginning to understand.

"What's that thing for you?" Dan asked still craving a damn cigarette.

"My wife, my dogs, and my grandkids." Benny said happily.

Dan smiled a little bit. "I'm about to become a grandpa myself."

Benny also smiled. "Ah, grandkids are meant to be spoiled by their grandparents, remember that." Dan shook his head thinking about how his dad always brought Becky, DJ, and Darlene gifts when he came to visit. "Say, you should come over and eat dinner with us tomorrow night. You could bring your sons so I finally get to meet them." Benny said enthusiastically.

Dan thought about it for a minute. "Umm what time?"

"Seven sounds good to me." Benny said. The two said their goodbyes and went to their respective trucks. Dan drove to Jackie's.

At Jackie's, Jerry ran to Dan as soon as he walked in. Dan cheerfully picked him up and held him in the air above his head. "How was the diner today, Jacks?" Jackie exhaled and slumped down on her couch. Dan sensed her mood and sat down on the couch next to her. "That bad huh?"

Jackie's face showed displeasure. "Booker showed up today."

Dan looked confused. "I thought he dropped off the face of the earth?"

Jackie looked at Dan. "Me too, he showed up wanting to get back together, like what happened last time was no big deal."

Dan put Jerry on the ground and Jerry and Andy played with MEGABLOKS. Dan was not used to these in depth conversations with Jackie and he was finding himself a tad uncomfortable. "Do _you _want to get back together?" Dan asked, thinking that as a quick end to this conversation.

Jackie shifted. "Booker's a nice guy but I don't know if I can trust him."

Dan waved his hand. "Then that's the answer. You can't trust him, don't start a relationship with him."

Jackie's face showed discontent at this answer. "I kind of want to be with him."

Dan sighed. "Okay then get together with him. Would you feel better talking about this with Ann Marie or Crystal?" Dan was clearly uncomfortable with this conversation, and Jackie found it funny.

"I'm sorry I forgot you don't like this subject when it comes to me or any other woman."

Dan exhaled. "Thank God. How about we talk about me?"

Jackie turned around and made herself comfortable. "Okay go."

Dan smiled. "Rocko came by yesterday. He offered me a job at the hardware store."

Jackie looked confused again. "I don't see the problem here Dan. "

"I left my nice city job, to work with my friends for more money. It's okay to leave them for another job?" Dan was exclaiming with his hands without realizing it.

Jackie sat back. "You're dry walling again. You hate that." She said rattling off a good reason Dan should leave his current job.

Dan absent mindedly ran his right hand through his hair. "I made a commitment to Chucky, and George even Mark."

"I know and you always honor your commitments. Dan, their friends. I am sure they'll understand and be okay with you taking this other job."

Dan leaned back more. "I do hate dry walling."

"Okay that settles that. Take the job."


	28. Dinner at Benny's

At home, Dan found DJ's AV club circled around the kitchen table again. Dan waved a short acknowledging wave at the kids and then motioned for DJ to follow him into the living room. Once they were in, Dan put Jerry down and Jerry

"DJ you're grounded. You know you're not supposed to have friends over." Dan was stern with DJ; after all he was still mad about what happened in St. Louis.

DJ shook his head in protest. "But Dad, if we make this movie we could use it to get into film school."

Dan became slightly confused. "Film school? What are talking about?"

DJ sighed. "There's this scholarship thing for high schools students in the Midwest. If you make a movie that is at least thirty minutes long and features at least three main characters and at least two different settings, you can send it to film schools in California or New York. If a school likes you're movie they'll give you a full ride. I'm hoping for UCLA." Dan took a few seconds to register what his son just told him. "That's the University…"

Dan cut DJ off. "…Of California Los Angeles. Just because I didn't go to College doesn't mean I don't know the acronyms." Dan glared at his son. "So you're saying that if you make this movie and someone likes it you'll go to college for free?" DJ nodded and Dan lightened up. "Carry on…"

DJ joined his friends in the kitchen and Dan left Jerry under the teenager's supervision and went to work in the garage. He hadn't worked on his boat in a while…

Becky and Mark were fighting again. Mark got home and was pissed that Becky hadn't even started dinner yet. Becky was pissed that even though she worked too she was always expected to make dinner. What was even more frustrating to the both of them was that they had never fought over this before.

"You're mom always had dinner ready when your dad got home from work!" Mark shouted standing in front of the tiny stove.

"Yeah but my dad never expected to be fed once he got home!" Becky quipped from their bedroom.

"Your dad was probably afraid to say that was expected!" Mark shouted, referring to how sometimes it seemed as though Dan was afraid of Roseanne.

Becky grew red with fury. "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means we're turning into them!" Mark shouted louder than before.

"Oh yeah how?" Becky asked. Reminding Mark so much of Roseanne that it was scary.

"You go to work. I go to work. We get home. We fight. We make up. Go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow." Mark said loudly but not as loud as before.

Becky shook her head. "No. That's not what you meant."

Mark was breathing heavy to calm himself down. When that didn't work he lit a cigarette. "What the hell do you mean that's not what I meant?" He said with his cigarette in his mouth.

"You meant something else Mark. I want to know what you really meant!" Becky was madder than ever. Mark gave up and stormed out of the trailer, hopped in his truck and left. Becky sat on the bed and cried.

In Chicago, David sat on the couch in the apartment pondering every word that Dan had used to describe Roseanne's pregnancy. Specifically the emotional roller coaster part. That's what David was sure he and Darlene…mostly Darlene…were feeling.

"I hate my dad! I wish the alcohol killed him!" Darlene claimed one minute kicking a pen that had fell from the counter across the floor. Another minute came, "I can't believe I said that. Alcoholism is a disease…" Then, "E God Dammit! The phrase is 'Four Wheel Drive'!"

David remembered what Dan had said. Just do whatever would make your girl happy. David acted according to Darlene's mood. He was amazed that he was only the subject of Darlene's ill will once or twice. Darlene had transformed into a giant monster with her pregnancy. David struggled to find her in this new personality. Darlene was INSANE!

"You know what sounds good? St. Louis style pizza." Darlene asked and then quickly answered herself.

"What's St. Louis style pizza?" David asked, having never really heard of such a thing.

"It's pizza with provel cheese." Darlene answered pulling out the phone book and searching through for a pizza place that was advertising St. Louis style pizza. "Fuck!" Darlene threw the phone book across the room and David wondered how Dan went through this four times…

The next night Dan packed up Jerry's diaper bag and he and the boys left to go have dinner with Benny and his wife.

"Ah! So this is your young son!" Benny exclaimed taking Jerry from Dan's arms. "He looks so much like you…"

"Uh Benny. This is DJ. DJ this is my friend Benny." Dan introduced them by gesturing with his hand. Benny held Jerry In his left arm and shook DJ's hand with his right.

"Pleased to meet you son. This is my wife Sarah." Sarah was a small sized lady dressed in a green striped sweater and blue jeans. She had huge earrings dangling from her ears. The boys smiled and looked around. The house had the walls covered in pictures and awards. It was as if Benny and Sarah couldn't stand to have a blank spot on the walls.

Everybody sat down on the couch, and Dan felt immediately jealous at Benny's big screen TV. He did the math quickly in his head and figured that two and a half of his TV could fit in Benny's TV.

The boys were all uncomfortable but did their best to hide it. "So Danny, how was work today?" Dan tried to look happy. Today he had tried to talk about going to work at the hardware store with his friends but he had turned into a coward and kept his mouth shut.

"Uh it was fine; we fell short on sheet rock though."

DJ looked at his dad then noticed a Purple Heart on a wall. He jumped up and studied it. "Wow, this is a Purple Heart!" DJ jumped up and studied the award that was behind glass and hanging up on the wall. Dan joined him holding Jerry.

"I didn't know you served, Benny." Dan said as Benny stood behind him.

"I didn't, Sarah did." The boys looked at Sarah as she joined their small group.

"I was a Secretary for the Marine Corps High Command in Seoul when our headquarters was bombed by the Chinese." Sarah explained as though it were nothing.

Dan couldn't think of anything to say except, "Semper Fi." Right then the oven beeped and everyone gathered in the kitchen. Dan sat across from Benny with Jerry on his knee since there was no high chair, and DJ sat next to him. Sarah put all the food on the table and they all dug in.

"This is really good roast." Dan said really meaning it as he savored the meat in his mouth. The roast was juicy and chewy, and the flavor was unbelievable.

DJ nodded, and Dan fed Jerry a mouthful of corn. "So what line of work are you in, Dan?" Sarah asked very friendly.

"Uh right now, I'm in drywall. But in the past I've done garage work." Dan said a little ashamed of the drywall part.

Sarah smiled, "Hey you're earning a living for you and your family. That's nothing to be ashamed of."

Dan nodded and fed Jerry another bite of corn. After seconds they five were done eating. Dan stood up and began working to clear the table. He was surprised when Sarah took the plates out of hands and literally pushed him out of the kitchen. "Shoo, get out of my kitchen."

Dan knew Sarah was playing around; he took DJ and said, "Geeze the men get kicked out of the kitchen in this house. We need to come here more often."

The guys sat in the living room and talked. DJ was sure he was going to be bored out of his mind but found that he actually enjoyed talking to Benny with his dad. Sarah took possession of Jerry and acted he was her own kid. Dan didn't mind that much. Soon Dan decided it was late so he packed up Jerry's diaper bag and they left.

If it was someone else's life Dan was living he wouldn't of believed what they found at home. But it was his life so he believed his own eyes.


	29. Atypical Conner Drama

Dan, DJ, and Jerry stood in the kitchen in shock over what they saw. An empty house. Everything was gone. The couch, the ottomans, the chair, the coffee table, the TV, the VCR, the liquor cabinet, everything on the book shelves, everything was gone.

Everything except family pictures, Big Godzilla, little Godzilla, the pictures of the dogs playing pool, the bulldog statue, and the Afghan that was always draped over the couch. These things were neatly placed on the floor.

The kitchen had the same treatment, everything was gone including the fridge, the stove, the toaster, the coffee maker, the kitchen table and chairs. Same with Dan's room. Everything had disappeared but his clothes and mattress. His sailboats and the Conner family crest were still there by some miracle too.

DJ ran upstairs, and Dan ran outside to the garage with Jerry. He was relieved to find that everything in the garage had been untouched, including his prized possession: His Harley. Once he discovered that he went back in the house and called 911. Then he called Jackie.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Jackie, do you think we could stay at your house for a little while?" Dan said nonchalantly, as DJ watched thinking how weird his dad was acting.

Jackie stood on the other end of the phone line confused. "Uh of course. Why?"

Dan said this next part with a straight face, like it was nothing. DJ became concerned. "Our house was robbed."

Jackie listened to her brother in law and also became concerned. "What do you mean robbed?"

Dan shrugged. "Everything is gone."

Jackie was confused. "Gone? Uh Dan I think I'll come over to you. You have called the police haven't you?"

"Well yeah of course Jackie." Dan said in his dopey voice that he used often when talking to Jackie.

When Jackie got to the house she found Dan talking to two police officers. The same two that had arrested him in 1993.

DJ took Jackie aside. "Dad's crazy! He's acting like this is the best thing that's ever happened to him."

Jackie watched Dan talk to the cops. He did seem happy and she even caught the glimpse of a smile on his face. She approached the three men. "Excuse me can I speak to him please, Gil?" The cops nodded and Jackie pulled Dan into the kitchen.

"Dan, why do you find this funny?" Dan looked at Jackie funny.

"I don't find this funny. I find this hilarious. My wife dies; I go to rehab and then when a good job comes my way, and my house is robbed. Oh Boy I knew our family was cursed since the day that Willie Lowman guy died in this kitchen, THIS just proves it, Jackie." Dan pointed at the floor with his pointer finger at the word "This". Jackie watched fearing Dan's sanity.

Dan walked back to the cops. "I'm sorry about this Dan." Said Gil, as the other cop took his camera and started taking pictures of every inch of the house. DJ's bedroom was hit, but not to the extent as Dan's. Jerry's room was untouched, to Dan's delight.

"Anything missing from the garage, Dan?" The other cop asked. Dan shook his head.

"No and thank god too because I'd cry if my Harley was taken from me." Dan said looking directly at Jackie. Jackie watched Dan as he sat down on the kitchen floor with his back to the wall that was behind where the kitchen table usually was.

Jackie sat down next to him. DJ was up stairs putting Jerry to bed, so the two were alone for the most part. "You know, Jacks, if this is what happens to our family when we're broke, I wonder what'd happen if we won the lottery." Jackie looked straight ahead with Dan.

"The odds of you winning the lottery are probably about the same as you cheating on Roseanne when she was still alive." Dan smiled, holding his hands on his knees.

"Alive? I don't think I could see someone else now."

The two sat silently for a few minutes just staring into space on the kitchen floor. Finally Dan sighed deeply and then bent his knees and brought them to his chest. He placed his left hand on his left knee. "I haven't smoked in 25 years and I have been craving a cigarette since my fight with Darlene." Dan said, seriously considering lighting up again.

"That's strange. Maybe it has something to do with all the weight you lost."

Dan looked at Jackie and laughed. "No, that ain't it. No drinking has to do with my weight. I woke up in rehab one day and I noticed something different about me. It took a minute before I realized what: I didn't have a hangover. Now I look at me in the mirror and I have that same feeling." Dan was talking in a way that Jackie hadn't really seen from Dan.

She felt compelled to say something. "You know Dan I got really worried about you a few times." Dan stared at her in a kind way.

"I worried about you too. Roseanne was a big part of your life way before I came along. You gave a great eulogy at her funeral." Jackie cocked her head at Dan.

"Uh Dan, you gave Roseanne's eulogy."

Dan thought about it for a minute. "I did?"

"Yeah you did. You were drunk though."

Dan leaned back. "Oh, the only thing I remember about the funeral is talking to Darlene and coming home. What did I drink? Someone emptied the fridge on me."

Jackie smiled weakly. "Uh _that_ was me. You got a bottle of Jack Daniels from somewhere and downed it in one sitting."

Dan moved his hands a little. "Hey I was wondering where that went. I thought you threw it out while I was in rehab to rid the house of any temptation."

The cops walked into the kitchen and Jackie and Dan stood up from the floor. "Well we went through every room and took pictures, and dusted for finger prints. We didn't find any, but we did figure out how they got in. They came in through your son's room and probably walked downstairs and let the others in."

Dan shook his head. "Do you think it was the same people who robbed the Bowman's?"

The other cop answered. "Possibly but the MO is different."

"Okay is there anything you need me to do?" Dan asked.

Gil answered. "Just sign this and try to get in contact with you insurance company as soon as you can. Uh is there anything we can do for you? Something to eat….?"

Dan shook his head and DJ came downstairs with Jerry. He gave Jerry to Dan. "He won't go to sleep, dad."

Dan put Jerry over his shoulder and then spoke to the cops. "No, we're going to stay with Jackie. Thank you though."

The cops couldn't do anything more so they left. "All right Deej, pack up some clothes for you and your brother. We're going to stay with Jackie for a little while."

DJ listened to his dad and went back up stairs. Dan went to his room and did the same thing. Jackie followed him.

As Dan was putting two pairs of blue jeans in his suitcase, he talked to Jackie. "You know Jackie, those robbers must have been desperate, I mean Roseanne used to say that we didn't need to lock our doors because no one would want our crap or our kids. The one time she's wrong and it's about _this." _Dan said as he grabbed shirts and threw them in his suitcase.

Jackie decided to share the joke with Dan. "The things they left must be _really_ crappy."

Dan smiled and closed his suitcase harshly. "Oh yes, but it's the most _important _crap."

Later Dan drove the boys to Bev's house in his truck followed by Jackie. Jackie had left Andy with Bev not wanting to worry about him in an empty house. When they parked in the retirement village's parking lot, Dan had his evil shoulder angel yelling at him to stay and his good angel yelling at him to go in. Finally Dan gave into the good angel and followed Jackie, with Jerry in his arms and DJ staying in the truck.

Bev answered the door and immediately an accusatory look came across her face as she handed Andy to Jackie. "Oh you're together…."

Dan and Jackie both glared at Bev. "What is _that _supposed to mean, mother?" She said standing right next to Dan.

Bev walked away with her back to Jackie and Dan. "I just mean that there are rumors going around…." She said without looking at either of them.

Dan had been quiet until now. He hadn't spoken to Bev since the day he got out of rehab so he knew his head was still in the noose. But now he couldn't stay quiet.

"_Rumors? What are you saying, Bev? That we're…" _Dan pointed at Jackie and himself "_Seeing each other?" _Dan kept his eyes on Bev, while trying very, very hard to conceal the fact that he was blushing. He did care about Jackie and consider her one of his best friends but he didn't think of her in that way.

"Mother, there is nothing going on between me and Dan." Jackie said very sternly.

Bev stared at both of them back. "You do seem to see a lot of each other and I understand that you went to Rodbells together."

Jackie breathed out heavily and shook her head. "Mother. Dan and I are just friends no matter what the rumors say."

Dan looked from Jackie to Bev and back. "Jackie's right, we're just friends."

Bev and Dan locked eyes, and Jackie worried that they were about to break out into a fistfight. Bev wasn't about to lose a battle of words to Dan like she did last time. "I suppose that the robbers just waltzed into your house like it was nothing with the door unlocked…" Bev was testing for Dan's soft spots. This was not one of them, as Dan stayed completely composed and controlled his anger.

"No they came in through DJ's window."

Bev stiffened up but held her ground. "_And where were you_?"

Dan also held his ground. "We were out having dinner with a friend."

Bev's face changed to curiosity. "Which friend? Perhaps I met them at the diner."

Dan knew what game Bev was playing and decided to play again at an advantage. "No, Bev, you didn't meet them at the diner." Jackie watched them both feeling like Switzerland.

Bev's face changed again. "Oh then who are they? Maybe I've met them somewhere, else."

Dan shook his head. "I can't tell you that, Bev." Dan said knowing that it wouldn't take long for Bev to connect the dots. Jackie knew Dan was inviting Bev to dig her knives into him deeper, so she intervened.

"It's getting late; we really should be going…DAN." She put her hands on Dan and gently guided him out of the door while he held Jerry asleep in his arms.

When they got to Jackie's house, Dan took both the boys and put them to bed into Andy's crib. Dan slept on the couch while DJ slept on the floor.


	30. Jackie and Dan together?

Jackie's master bedroom was dark and eerily quiet when her door opened slightly and she made out Dan's six foot two frame as he tiptoed into the room.

His voice was low but clear. "Jackie I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see her telling me "hit the couch, buddy." Dan sat on the edge of the bed with his back to Jackie and his hands between his thighs. His head was down and Jackie could hear the tiredness in his voice.

Jackie was also half asleep, but she turned onto her back and pulled more of the cover to her chest. "Well why don't you sleep with me?" Jackie said in a friendly way.

To her surprise Dan stood up and turned around to face Jackie. "Are you sure?" He asked like a child.

Jackie nodded while trying to keep her eyes open. "Yeah…"

Dan quietly and slowly walked to other side of the bed and gently pulled the cover and sheet halfway down. While trying not to disturb Jackie he slid onto the bed one leg at a time until he was immersed under the covers. He laid his head on the pillow last and stayed still

Jackie laid there welcoming the warmth Dan's body provided. She had a feeling of relief and safety. Both went to sleep without saying a word.

In the morning Jackie woke up facing the side of her bed where Dan should be. But he wasn't there. To double check Jackie reached out her left hand and felt for him, all she felt was the barely messed up cover on the left side of the bed. Jackie was confused by this. Why wasn't the cover messed up on that side of the bed if Dan slept there last night? She couldn't figure out the answer and stood up and stretched.

In Andy's room she found both her and son and nephew asleep. The way they shared the blanket was cute and Jackie wished she had her camera. When she walked into the living room another question occurred to her. Why was Dan sleeping on the couch? This time she figured out the answer: It was a dream. Dan never slept with her. This realization came to Jackie in her kitchen as she sat down on a stool with a cup of coffee at the counter.

A rush of several different emotions flooded Jackie as she struggled to find meaning in her dream. _Me together with Dan? There had been times when there was a remote possibility but it never happened and with good reason. Dan loved Roseanne and would never betray her like that and I couldn't do that to Roseanne. But Roseanne's gone….No No No. It was just a dream snap out of it Jackie. Dan is your brother in law…who went to jail for protecting me….NO JACKIE! Why would I dream about sleeping in the same bed with Dan…? _

Dan stood in the kitchen doorway with a childish grin as he watched Jackie stare into space. It was obvious she was thinking about something hard to Dan because he was literally right in front of her.

"Figuring out the meaning of life, Jack?" Dan said playfully.

Jackie came down to Earth and jumped as she became aware of Dan's words. She quickly tried for a reply. "Uh…no I was just uh…thinking about your house…." Dan stared at Jackie quizzically she was obviously nervous and or hiding something. Dan ignored that and said,

"Yeah me too. Although I too have been doing some deep thinking of my own and I have surmised that this little Conner misfortune is a sign." Dan proclaimed loud and clear holding his hand up for a gesture. Jackie thought that Dan was really cheerful for the morning.

Jackie took the opportunity to hide her nervousness. "A sign? A sign for what?" It was still obvious to Dan that Jackie was hiding something, but he continued to ignore it.

"A sign that I, Daniel Stephen Conner, have been given the opportunity by God himself to change my life and the lives of my sons and daughters for the better…." Dan was talking loud and proud with his arms in the air far out and above his shoulders like a preacher.

Jackie watched him and smiled. "Change how?"

Dan smiled and sat down on the stool next to her. "Insurance money, surely God would not screw me…" Dan counted on his fingers and looked in the air as he recalled info in his brain. "Twenty six times before I turn 50." Dan was next to Jackie now and she felt a surge of shyness hit her like the first time Dan and Roseanne made out with her sitting right next to them at the movies.

"Twenty six? You've kept track all these years?"

"Of the bad things in my life sure. It was easy too. For every bad thing that went on I drank, let say, ten beers which comes out to 260 beers. Then you have to tack on every beer that I drank for the good times. Now that's not as much but it does count." Dan continued talking and jumped to the next topic in the blink of an eye. "Why am I making you uncomfortable?"

Dan and Jackie stared at each other as Jackie struggled to find an answer that was anything but the truth. "Uh you're not." Jackie fought to keep an expressionless face as she turned the spotlight back on Dan. "Why are _you_ suddenly talking about beer?"

Dan smiled and shook his head. "No, no, no Jackie. I've been a father way too long to fall for that old trick. What's up with you for real? You're acting like me on the days that I brought a Playboy into the house..."

Jackie looked at Dan. "I thought Roseanne told you you had to keep you're Playboys in the garage?"

Dan would normally feel shy talking about this in front of another woman but he found himself more willing to talk about his Playboys than his wanting to drink really, really, really bad. "She did, after she found one in my sock drawer and censored it with a black permanent marker…"

By some miracle, Jerry started crying and their conversation was over. They both got their kids ready for the day and went on their separate ways. Dan put Jerry in the playpen for a minute while he called his insurance company; Jackie listened to Dan's side of the conversation.

"Yes I'm calling because my house was robbed…Daniel Conner….714 Delaware Street…everything was taken….I don't get off work until five… six is okay….okay fine. Bye." Dan hung up the phone and turned to Jackie. "My insurance company is sending someone to assess the house tonight." Dan said this as he stood up and grabbed his coat for work before Bev showed up and Jackie allowed no time to talk to Bev and was at work early.

She found Leon counting the money in the cash register. "Good morning, Jackie." Leon seemed to be rather happy today. Jackie mumbled something and then took off her coat and hung it up on the wall.

Her mind was on Everest as she could only think about the dream; she was finally able to come down long enough to approach Leon at the register.

"Leon…did you know Dan's house was robbed last night?"

Leon looked at Jackie, stunned. "Oh my God, what did they take?"

"Everything. Even the stuff in the kitchen." Jackie leaned on the counter midsentence. "They didn't take Dan's Harley though. He was very happy about that."

"Dan married Roseanne why would they want his stuff?" Of course Leon went there, but Jackie ignored that.

"Leon I was wondering if just for a few weeks we could start paying Dan a quarter of the profits."

Leon looked at Jackie. "Jackie, I bought Roseanne's share of the restaurant. I don't see why we should pay Dan."

Jackie cocked her head. "Leon, Dan is your friend. Don't you want to help him out?"

"Jackie I do consider Dan a friend, but if he's not working here I'll find it hard to justify paying him." Jackie leaned off the counter and stood straight and defensively, being nice to Leon wasn't working now she was going to try a different approach.

She smiled, "Leon I'll give you a choice you can pay Dan Roseanne's share again or I can empty the register."

Leon had a serious face when he stood closer to the register and blocked it with his hands. "I'll go the police."

"Not if you're lying on the floor with a knife in your heart." Leon could see that Jackie was joking about killing him but serious about taking cash from the register so he agreed to pay Dan a share of the profits until his house was filled again.

Jackie went through the day with her back on Everest again as all she could think about again was her dream. To her dismay Booker showed back up again. Nancy took his order and then Jackie went to him. "Booker what are you doing here?"

"I'm waiting for my order. I heard that Dan's house was robbed last night. Is that true?"

"Yes Booker it's true, someone did rob Dan's house. They took everything, so he and the boys are staying with me."

Booker looked lost. "_Boys?_ Dan had another son?"

"Yeah he and Roseanne had another before Roseanne passed away. He's still a baby."

Nancy put Booker's plate in front of him. As he was about to take a bite of his sandwich, Booker asked, "So what's their son's name?"

"Jerry Garcia."

"Jerry Garcia? Somehow that seems like a practical Conner name…"

Jackie left Booker to attend to customers, and again Booker waited for Jackie again. "So did you think about it long enough?"

It took a minute for Jackie to register what he was talking about as her mind was still on her dream but finally she understood. "Booker there is so much going on right now; I think I want to wait to get back into a relationship right now." Booker nodded in understanding.

"I understand. It's okay. I'll wait. Bye Jackie." Booker stood up and grabbed his coat and then left.

On her break, Jackie picked up the phone on the counter and dialed Chuck and Anne Marie's number.

"Hello?" Anne Marie answered.

"Anne Marie, I really need a girl's night out, just you and me."

Anne Marie sounded happy and surprised. "Okay Jackie, how about the LOBO Lounge at eight?"

"Sounds good, see you then." The two hung up, and Jackie found herself thinking about the dream again.


	31. Dan Remembers

On their lunch break Dan, Mark, George, and Chuck sat around a picnic table that sat on the edge of the construction site with other picnic tables. Dan was eating a bologna sandwich as the men talked while wearing hardhats.

"I can't believe you were robbed, Dan." Chuck said with a bag of Lays in his hands.

"I can't either. Here I was thinking that my luck couldn't get any worse."

George took a bite of his sandwich. "You're not still staying in the house?"

Dan shook his head. "No, we're staying with Jackie." Dan watched as the same look that Bev had on her face last night crept onto Chuck's face but Chuck tried to hide it.

This was Dan's cue; instead of diving into a topic about the rumors of him and Jackie he took the opportunity to tell his friends about the job offer.

Dan spoke loud enough for all his friends to hear him. "Rocko offered me a job at the hardware store."

All his friends and Mark turned to face him; Chuck was the first to speak. "That's great, Dan." Dan studied Chuck.

"You're okay with me leaving this job?"

Dan looked at all his friends. George spoke too. "Of course we are, Dan."

Dan looked at Mark. "I don't care if you take that job, Dan."

Dan looked at all of his friends again. "Thanks guys." Then he turned to Mark and spoke lower, "Could you not tell Becky about this or the robbery?" Mark shook his head and all the friends started a conversation about the new muscle cars.

Later Dan went to his meeting. Benny offered Dan money after he told him the news but Dan wouldn't take it. Benny had also told Dan that he thought Dan was ready for the amends process. Dan thought about this while he drove to Jackie's.

To his horror he found Beverly, which was weird because Jackie was home. Dan coolly sat on the other end of the couch next to Beverly. Beverly watched him like a hawk and Dan ignored her and pulled Jerry onto his lap.

"Hello Jerry, did you have a good day?" Jerry looked at his dad and smiled.

"Daddy!" Dan smiled, and started to tickle Jerry, both were really happy. Jackie walked into the room from the kitchen and smiled also.

"Jerry learned his first word! And it wasn't the F Word!" Dan yelled extremely excited. Bev just watched, and finally when Dan stopped she made her move.

"Well Dan, I suppose that's sad for you considering that the F Word was Becky, Darlene and DJ's first word…" Bev eyes were screwed onto Dan.

Dan shrugged it off. "Well there is still hope for my grandkid." He stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm thirsty." Dan put Jerry on the floor with Andy and walked to the kitchen. Jackie joined him.

"Dan I was wondering if you wouldn't mind watching Andy tonight." Jackie said as Dan had his hand in the fridge looking for a soda.

"I know. You got a date with Booker." He said pulling out a soda and opening it.

"No, I told Booker I don't want to date just yet."

Dan took a drink of his Dr. Pepper. "You did? Oh well then what do you need a sitter for?"

Jackie was still shy around Dan because of her dream. She had no reason to be, Dan was oblivious to it, but every time she looked at Dan she saw him climbing into bed with her and that made her extremely uncomfortable. "Uh, girls night with Ann Marie."

Dan stared at Jackie. "Have you had one since Roseanne passed away?"

Jackie shook her head. "Well we've gone out but we never have any fun. I think tonight it will be different."

Dan took another drink. "What time? Remember I got to meet that insurance guy at six."

"Eight. Did you ask the guys about that job?"

Dan took a drink. "Yeah, they were fine with it."

"That's good."

Dan shook his head. "Oh yeah, why is **SHE **here?"

"I don't know. I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't."

Barney's _I Love You _song was heard from the TV. "That reminds me Jackie, I came up with a song today at work."

"Oh yeah, what was it?"

Dan took joy as he sang, "_I love you, and you love me, let's get together and kill Bev-er-ley with a knife, and a scythe and a bullet to the head. Let's party because Bev is dead." _

Jackie laughed. "Now that is one song that I will never forget the words too."

Dan smiled. "How could you? It has a catchy tune."

In the living room, Dan and Jackie found DJ sitting with the babies on the floor and Bev right where they left her. Dan sat at the same spot as before, and Jackie sat at the table.

"So mom, why haven't you left yet?"

Bev looked over at Dan who screwed his Captain Son in Law face on. "I wanted to know if you planned on making any changes to the house."

"Sure I plan on it, but I don't know how much money I'll get from insurance." Bev kept staring at Dan.

"I hope you plan on taking a shower." Dan smiled and stood up.

"Well I'm going to take a shower."

Dan had left the boys with Jackie and came to the house alone. He had an extremely sad feeling as he walked through the practically bare house. He stood in the living room and saw a memory of him and Roseanne in a mock wrestling match on the couch.

He saw himself jump over the couch and back on the couch and then pin Roseanne in a half nelson. _"One." _Dan saw himself kiss Roseanne on her head. _"Two."_ Dan saw himself do it again. _"Three." _And again.

Then he saw him and Roseanne sitting on the couch with DJ in between them, he smiled as he remembered what DJ said that day. _"We played this game. Seven minutes in heaven. I had to go into a closet with Sheila Fry. We just stood there and did nothing for like six minutes" _Dan saw himself ask,

"_What happened in that last minute, son?" _And he saw DJ answer,

_"I told you. I touched a boob." _Dan smiled. Everywhere in that house he relived memories. When he went into the bathroom he remembered when he, Jackie and Roseanne smoked pot in there and Jackie asking, "IS this the sink? Am I shrinking?"

Finally he decided to call his daughters while he waited for the insurance man. By some miracle the phone was still there, so he dialed Darlene and David's number and sat down on the step in front of the pantry while he talked.

"Hello?" David answered.

"Hi, David its Mr. Conner. How are you doing?" Dan asked in a friendly way.

"Good, I guess."

"Glad to hear it. How is Darlene?" As Dan asked that he heard a loud bang and shattering glass in the back ground. He had his answer. "That bad huh? Lemme talk to her please." David gave the phone to Darlene. "Hi, honey. Its dad. How are you?"

Darlene snarled. "I have a human being growing inside me! How do you think I am?"

Dan brushed this off. "I think you have a human being growing inside you. Listen I called because I have some news."

Darlene rolled her eyes. "What, Dad?"

"Something happened last night and I don't really know how to tell you. So I'll just come out with it. The house was robbed last night. Everything is gone except a few of the crappiest things."

Dan listened to the silence on the other end of the line. Finally Darlene spoke. "Oh uh I'm sorry dad."

"It's okay, Darlene. Listen I need to call Becky. I love you."

"I love you too, Bye." Darlene hung up so Dan stood up and dialed Becky and Mark's number and then sat back down on the step.

The phone rang ten times before it picked up. "Hello?" Becky answered.

"Hi, Beck. Its dad."

"Hi, dad, how are you?"

"Well not good. I need to tell you something."

Becky was instantly concerned. "What happened?"

Dan went quiet for five seconds as he put what he needed to say in words. "The house was robbed. They took almost everything."

Like Darlene, Becky went quiet before she spoke again. "Uh, did you call the police?"

"Yeah, but they don't know who it was."

"Oh, I'm sorry dad."

"It's okay, Beck. Listen the insurance guy is here so I got to go. I love you."

"I love you too, dad. Bye."

Dan back to Jackie's just in time for Jackie to leave for her Girls Night Out.

"Hi Dan, what did the insurance guy say?" Jackie asked, as she was towel drying her hair.

"It was a girl and she said that based on the age of the house and the worth of the stuff that was taken I could get around 20,000 dollars. I stopped by the police department and dropped off the insurance statement."

At the LOBO Lounge Jackie found Anne Marie sitting at a table in front of the bar. As soon as she sat down Anne Marie handed her a Budweiser Longneck.

"So what's the emergency, Jackie?" Anne Marie asked seriously.

Jackie took a deep breath. "Well Chuck told you that Dan's house was robbed last night right?"

Anne Marie nodded, "Yeah, Chuck told me. I can't believe someone would rob his house after all that man has been through."

"I know, it's horrible. Any way I let him and the kids stay with me and well…" Jackie said this next part in the same way that she confessed that she slept with Arnie. "I had a dream that I slept with Dan."

Anne Marie's reaction was serious. "What happened?"

Jackie became extremely shy without a good reason. "Well Dan came into my room and climbed into bed with me."

"And….?"

"And. Nothing that's it, we fell asleep."

Anne Marie stared at Jackie. "Then what are you worrying about?"

"I've never had a dream like that before. I can only guess what it means."

Anne Marie sat back in her chair and talked with her hands. "Well you and Dan are friends and you care for him."

"So you're saying that I shouldn't worry about why I had a dream about Dan?"

"Yeah."


	32. The OTHER Conners

-Okay I will admit something. I screwed up on Andy's age and stuff like that considering this would take place mid to late season 9 and Andy was born in season 6. Don't rack your brain trying to figure out Andy's age. Just bear with me and hopefully enjoy the story-

On the way home, Jackie continued to think about her dream. It scared her about how vivid it was in her mind, like it really happened. Sometimes she worried that it wasn't a dream and that Dan did in fact crawl in bed with her but then got up and smoothed over the cover and went back to sleep on the couch before she could wake up. But Jackie seriously doubted that happened, Dan was still hopelessly in love with Roseanne. Every day she could tell that he was in pain and there seemed to be no end in sight for him.

She decided to go to the Buy 'N' Bag where she bought lunch meat and bread for Dan's lunch, and baby food for Jerry. By chance she ran into Crystal who had Little Ed and Angelina with her.

"Hi, Jackie. Funny meeting you here isn't it?" Crystal said with a big wide smile on her face.

"Yeah, it is." Jackie smiled in disbelief about how much little Ed looked like Dan. He had sandy blonde hair, and broad shoulders. Plus he was tall, almost too tall for his age. Little Ed looked at Crystal.

"Mom, can me and AJ _please _play the arcade games?"

Crystal looked down at her son and daughter. "You're sisters name is Angelina, we've talked about this."

Jackie watched as Angelina rolled her eyes. "Mom, I want to be called AJ."

Crystal looked at Jackie, and then rifled through her purse and took out two one dollar bills and gave one to the kids. "Here you go. You stay there until I check out."

The kids shook their heads and said their thank you's and rushed off to the front of the store.

"I'm worried about Angelina. She's only seven years old but it's getting to be like she's purposely making everything under the sun a challenge." Crystal said as her and Jackie each pulled their carts out of the way of people walking up and down the aisles.

"Don't worry, Becky, Darlene and DJ were all like that. Roseanne used to say it was a Conner thing." Jackie watched as Crystals smiled faded and her body language changed.

"Speaking of Conner things. Now that Little Ed and Angelina are getting older they have a new fascination with Dan."

Jackie was puzzled. "What do you mean they have a fascination with Dan?"

"Well every time Ed comes home, all they seem to talk to him about is Dan. Like did Ed teach Dan how to work on cars and build things? Or did Dan like comic books and collecting baseball cards too? Ed doesn't know what to tell them."

"I guess in their situation it's only natural to be curious about their dads other kid." Jackie was both trying to be encouraging to Crystal and treading in deep water. She was well aware of the relationship between Dan and Ed. Somehow she felt like she was crossing into territory that was best left uncrossed, so she changed the subject. "I take it you didn't hear about what happened?"

"No what happened?" Crystal suddenly got serious.

"Someone broke into Dan and Roseanne's house and robbed it."

"OH MY GOD! That's terrible. What did they take?"

"Pretty much everything. Dan and the kids are all right though. They're staying with me; Dan said that his insurance would take care of him enough. He actually didn't seem too bothered by it." Crystal stared blankly at Jackie.

"Dan isn't upset by it?"

"Uh well I guess he is. But he's still kind of recovering from Roseanne's death and…other stuff so he's sort of distracted." Jackie felt nosy for talking about Dan behind his back so she looked at her watch. "Oh it's almost ten, I told Dan I'd be back in twenty minutes. Bye." Jackie waved and walked off with Crystal waving back.

Dan felt like he needed to do something with his hands, as he had a million things on his mind. He wanted to drink. He wanted Roseanne. He wanted his things back in his house. He wanted to drink. He didn't want Jerry to grow up without a mom. He wanted _his _mom. He wanted his daughters to be successful without throwing their lives away. He wanted to stop being mad at his dad. He wanted to know for a fact that he'd be able to give DJ a good college education. He wanted to drink. He wanted Roseanne.

_Stop it, Dan. STOP!_ Dan told himself.

Dan buried his head in his hands and then jumped up. Jerry was asleep in the playpen, and DJ was playing with Andy. Dan made his way down stairs. He found a giant box and carried it into Andy's nursery, and then he ventured into the cold weather, and got his tool box from his truck and carried that into Andy's nursery.

When she got home, Jackie found Jerry asleep in the playpen and Andy and DJ watching an episode of _Rugrats_ on Nickelodeon. "Where's your dad?"

"In Andy's room."

Jackie went down the hall. Sure enough she found Dan on the floor screwing two pieces of wood together. She could see that Dan was assembling Andy's baby bed. Dan's entire concentration was on his work.

"Hi, Dan." She said, catching his attention as he twisted his body and looked at her standing in the doorway. "Don't you think it's kind of late to assemble that?"

Dan smiled weakly. "Well it was either assemble this or break something so I could just fix it again. I figured this was less destructive."

Jackie walked around Dan and sat on the floor next to him. "I saw Crystal today. We ran into each other at the Buy 'N' Bag."

Dan kept his concentration on his work and didn't make eye contact with Jackie. "Oh yeah what did she say?"

"Well she actually said something funny. She said that the kids keep asking about you."

Jackie watched as Dan's eyes stopped squinting at the screw and floated until Dan's attention was on Jackie. "Asking about _me?_

"That's what she said."

Dan relaxed and set his screw driver and the two pieces of wood that were screwed together down on the floor and then stretched out his legs with his hands on his sides. "Well I guess if I knew that my mom or dad had other kids I'd be interested in them too. Did she say anything about Lonnie?"

"No, she didn't." Dan shook his head and went back to the same position he was sitting at before and continued working on the bed. Jackie could sense he wasn't in a talkative mood today.

Once again Mark and Becky stood facing each other in their trailer screaming their heads off in anger. "You get a little extra money and you blow it on pot?"

"Come on Becky, I've been working real hard the last few weeks."

Becky stared at her husband in disbelief. "You work with my DAD! What do you think would happen if he knew what you were doing?"

Mark relaxed a bit and looked at his oil stained boots that were caked with mud. "I don't know and he's not my boss so he can't exactly fire me!"

Becky looked at her shoes too and rubbed her eyes. She was starting to cry. "Mark I can't keep doing this…" She said in between sobs.

Mark's caring nature overtook his anger and Mark took steps close to Becky to comfort her. "I'm sorry Beck." Becky shook Mark off of her and ran into their bedroom and locked the door, leaving Mark standing alone in their tiny kitchen. He sat at their table quietly alone.

David and Darlene sat on their couch holding each other, as they watched a John Wayne classic.

"I can't believe my dad actually dressed as this guy for Halloween." Darlene said, as the Duke shot gun blasted a bad guy on the TV.

"Yeah, that was actually one of his more not so disturbing costumes."

By eleven that night, Dan had finished Andy's baby bed. As soon as he saw it, Andy jumped on it.

"Thank you, Uncle Dan!" HE shouted as he pulled his new Spider Man blanket up to his chest and fell asleep fast.

Jackie looked at Dan. "Thank you Dan."

"You're welcome Jackie. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to bed."


	33. The Lunch Box

In the morning it was raining so hard that when hit with rain drops hit you felt like they were bullets. Dan knew that the Construction Company would probably call his house trying to tell him that construction for the day was cancelled so he dialed Chuck's number.

Anne Marie answered cheerfully. "Hi Dan."

"Hi, Anne Marie. Did the company call you guys?"

"They did. They said that construction was cancelled. Do you want to talk to Chucky?" Anne Marie asked.

"Uh no. I'm sure he's asleep."

"You're right he is."

"Okay I'll talk to you later, bye."

"Bye." Dan and Anne Marie hung up.

Dan checked on all of the boys. Jerry and Andy were asleep, but Dan woke up DJ who was stretched out on the pallet on the floor. "DJ its 7:30." Dan shook DJ but DJ didn't seem to notice. "Wake up, son." Dan watched, as DJ's eyes moved despite being closed. "DJ I can see your eyes moving. I know you're awake."

DJ sat up. "Dad. You could be the best dad ever if you let me stay home today." Dan stared at DJ.

"You're going to school." DJ frowned.

Jackie came into the living room just then. "Good morning." She said grumpily and tired.

"Really good morning. Work called. I don't have to show up today." Dan bragged.

Jackie mumbled something and made her way to the coffee maker in the kitchen. DJ looked at his dad. "It's raining. Can you at least drive me to school today?"

Dan looked at the clock. "If you get dressed quickly so I can be back by the time your brother wakes up."

Five minutes later Dan and DJ were in the truck. Dan put the truck in reverse and put his hands on the wheel. He felt instantly nervous, as he remembered how Roseanne died….

_NO! Dan. You have to take DJ to school. _Dan sighed and put his foot on the gas and carefully backed out of the driveway. Once he pulled out he put his truck in drive and carefully navigated the streets. Dan decided that today he actually felt like he wanted to eat so he went through the drive thru at McDonalds. "What do you want Deej?"

"Egg McMuffin and hash browns."

Dan ordered six egg McMuffin's and four hash browns plus three sodas. They got their food quickly and Dan dropped DJ off at schools, and then went back to Jackie's.

She was on the phone when he came in through the door. He dropped the bag and the drink carrier on the table and then checked on the boys. They were still asleep. Dan wondered why Jerry was sleeping so much this morning since he went to bed earlier than usual last night.

When Dan walked back into the living room he found Jackie pulling a breakfast sandwich from the bag. "Thank you Dan."

"You're welcome Jackie. Saw three accidents on Route 9 today."

"Ooh, that sucks. Leon called and said that we're shorthanded today."

"What about Nancy?" Dan's facial expressions showed that he was still not a fan of Nancy's.

"Down with flu. He was actually wondering if you wouldn't mind coming in today."

Dan's jaw dropped. "ME? Well as long as it's not drywall."

Jackie patted Dan on the back. "I knew I could count in you."

Dan looked at the kids and then at Jackie. "I think that we should probably take the kids to your mother's today."

Dan and Jackie stared at each other. In unison they pointed at each other and said "You call her."

Dan shook his head. "She's your mom!"

Jackie pulled the phone off the receiver and handed it to Dan. The off the hook tone sounded but Dan refused to take it. "Dan, are you telling me that a big strong man like is afraid of a 66 year old woman?"

Dan shook his head in agreement. "Yes I am." He said in the most weak cowardly voice he could muster.

Jackie took a quarter from her purse. "Call it."

Dan watched the coin flip in the air. "Heads."

Jackie caught the quarter in the air and peeked at it on her wrist. Dan smiled. "Tails. Ha-ha Sucker." Jackie rolled her eyes and punched him gently on the stomach.

Seeing as how both Dan and Jackie were going to the Diner, they decided to carpool in the atrocious weather. Although Dan's truck only seated three so he wound up driving Jackie's old Plymouth.

Once Dan parked, each got out of the car and opened the back seat doors and rushed to get their kids inside before they froze to death or got pneumonia. Dan didn't take Jerry's car seat so he held Jerry over his shoulder, while Andy stood on his own and held Jackie's hand. The four stood in the elevator dripping onto the nice clean carpet. Three separate old people glared at them as they made their way to Bev's apartment.

Be answered the door with a scowl. "I told you that I would have been perfectly fine braving the weather today, if only to prevent my grandkids from getting pneumonia…." Dan brushed this off but held Jackie back. She was more irritated by Bev these days than Dan.

Both parents put their kids down and the kids made their way to the toy bin that Bev kept in the living room. Dan took the diaper bag from his arm and placed it on Bev's counter.

Jackie spoke. "Now mom, we've started potty training Andy so it's important you ask him if he needs to go." Bev listened but zeroed in on one key word.

"What do you mean 'We'?"

Jackie and Dan both sighed. Jackie spoke first. "Mom Dan is helping me potty train Andy. After all he is more qualified." Dan secretly laughed at this. That was a good comeback.

Bev's attention fell on Dan. "Did you ever hear back from the insurance company, Dan?"

Dan forced himself to look happy and cheerful. "Yeah, I did. They said that they need to hear from the police department before they can pay me."

Jackie looked at the clock. "Oh look Dan and I are going to be late for work. Bye mom."

Before they could escape, Bev continued her interrogation. "Dan is going to work with you?"

Dan shook his head yes. "The diner is shorthanded today so I said I'd help out. Bye, Miss Harris…" The two grown adults left the apartment like little school children.

When they got to the diner, they found Leon in a frantic panic as he rushed to serve the morning's breakfast crowd.

"Where's Stacey?" Jackie asked as her and Dan took off their coats and hung them on the hooks by the door.

"She never showed up. What took you so long?"

Dan and Jackie walked behind the counter. Dan felt butterflies being hatched in his stomach as he realized that this was the first time since Roseanne's death that he's been at the Lunchbox. Just the smell of the place was making him miss Roseanne more than ever. Jackie went to work immediately manning the loose meat, Leon disappeared into the back room and Dan picked up a note book and started rounding the tables taking orders. Jackie realized that she didn't tell Dan how to work here but Dan seemed to not need any instruction on what to do.

Because of the weather once the breakfast crowd was gone, only five to six people showed up and the three workers found themselves with nothing to do.

Jackie broke down and went to work cleaning the women's restroom leaving Dan and Leon alone in an empty restaurant.

"So Dan how's sobriety treating you?" Leon asked in an overly friendly way. Dan studied the man who was a foot and a few inches shorter than he was. He determined that Leon was only trying to make conversation. Both men had little to nothing in common.

Dan looked down at Leon and leaned on the counter. "Better than you it appears."

Leon smiled. "Yeah I jumped off the wagon."

"Well yeah Leon I know that. Roseanne told me she saw you at AA when she took Beverly. When you quit drinking did you start to crave cigarettes?" Dan asked curiously, as he was still being tortured by the wanting of a cigarette.

Leon looked at Dan. "No, then again I never really smoked. And it called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason!"

Dan looked down at the tiny man. "Actually she told me when I asked her why she was writing your name on a really good bottle of Scotch. I knew she had a double agenda…."

Breaking the silence, Rocko came by. Soaked through his three layers of clothes. "I haven't been this wet since monsoon season in 'Nam." Rocko took off two layers to reveal a collared polo shirt. He swished water all the way to the counter. "I'll have a regular loose meat and BBQ Lays please." He said directly to Dan like Dan was a normal worker. Then he realized that Rocko was playing around.

"Sorry we don't serve to Hardware store owners." Dan said, fighting back a smile.

Rocko laughed, as Jackie put a plate with a loose meat sandwich in front of him. Dan pulled BBQ chips off the chips rack and handed them to Rocko.

Rocko took a bite as he said, "So the company called in a rain day and you hang out with your sister in law at the Lunchbox. Do yourself a favor Dan. Get a life."

Dan laughed, "Well I'll try Rock. You have no idea how many times I've heard that from my kids."

Rocko laughed too. Jackie was running low on meat and she decided that she wasn't going to cook anymore until another customer came by. She joined the men. Dan looked at Leon, "Oh yeah. Rocko this is Leon my business partner and friend. Leon this is Rocko my ex business partner and still friend from when we still owned Four Aces Construction." Leon was not too thrilled about this stranger, but he acted friendly and shook Rocko's hand.

Jackie got tired of being seen and not heard and made herself a part of the conversation. "Are you as busy as we are?"

Rocko looked around and only saw empty tables and chairs. "Pretty much. But I have had a few people come and buy me out of all my salt."

Dan leaned on the counter out of habit. "If you still want me, I'll take that offer."

Rocko held out his hand and the two shook. "Can you start on Monday?"

Dan shook his head. "I'm sure I can."

Rocko soon left and once again the diner sat empty like an eerie ghost town. Dan and Jackie sat at a table trying their hand at a New York Times Crossword puzzle book that Roseanne kept under the counter.

Jackie read a clue. "Hollywood Siblings Hint: _Raising Arizona" _

Dan smiled. "The Coen Brothers." Jackie counted the squares.

"Hey your right."

Dan fidgeted in his seat. He was now craving a cigarette more than ever so he stood up and went to the hooks where his coat was hung up and put it on. Then he opened the door and made a mad dash to the small corner store. He walked up to the counter, dripping water all over the floor.

"Can I have a pack of Marlboro's please?" Dan took a lighter as he thought _if I'm going to smoke again I'm going to get the good stuff. _(If Marlboro is the good stuff. I really don't know.)

The clerk nodded and handed him a pack. "That will be 3. 50."

Dan looked at the clerk curiously. "Seriously? Last time I bought a pack it was a two dollars for a carton."

The clerk looked back at Dan curiously. "Going back?"

Dan nodded. "Nicotine craving like you wouldn't believe."

The clerk smiled. "That explains the lighter."

Back at the Lunch Box, Dan walked in to find one lonely customer who was being served by Jackie. He walked past the customer, who was a small and old man, but stopped when he heard, "Mr. Conner?"

The old man had said it so Dan turned his attention to him. "Yes sir?"

The old man stood up yet motioned for Dan to sit down. Dan was perplexed by this. He had never seen the old man but out of respect for the elderly, he sat down.

The old man pulled a check from his back pocket and then sat back down. Dan and Jackie both watched extremely curious. "Mr. Conner, my name is John Arnold and I want to help you out."

Dan was so curious he forgot to speak at the minute. "I don't understand."

The old man leaned back and stretched nonchalantly. "I have no family and I have no friends that are still living so I want to give you my in heritance."

Dan and Jackie both stared brain dead. "Uh sir, I can't take your money."

The man leaned forward and touched Dan on the top of his hand. "I want you too. I'm going to die soon, and I'll die a lot happier knowing that I was able to help out someone in need." The man pushed the check on Dan's hand. Dan immediately pushed it back.

"I'm sorry sir but I can't take this check. I mean you're still alive!"

The man smiled and pushed the check back to Dan. "I kept enough money to live happily during the little time I have left. Please take it." The man pleaded right before standing up and bolting out of the door.

Dan and Jackie stared at each other in disbelief. "Do I take the check?" Dan asked as Jackie sat down in the chair that was left vacant by the old man.

"He wants you to. I think you should." As Jackie spoke Dan peeked at the amount. He held in his hand a check for 40,000 dollars. "Forty thousand? Holy crap!" Jackie yelled.

Dan jumped and then shushed Jackie. "Could you be a little louder? I could get killed with this check!" Dan pocketed the check. Leon came running.

"Did someone say forty thou?" He rushed to the table where Dan and Jackie were sitting.

Dan and Jackie shook their heads. "Uh no."

Leon looked at them both like he knew they were lying but went back to his office. Dan looked at the clock.

"Hey I got to go." Dan stood up and went and got his coat again. Jackie turned around and faced him.

"Where are you going?" Dan's reply was a cold stare. Jackie knew he was going to AA so she didn't push the subject any further.

Before his meeting started, Dan spoke to his sponsor/friend about his newly found moral dilemma.

Benny's answer was, "If the old man wanted you to take the money. You should."

Having two very different people tell him that he should take the money Dan decided he would. So on his way back to the diner he stopped by the bank and cashed it with a big smile on his face and an intent for the first time to spend his money wisely.

Finally the rain let up to where it was only a little drizzle so before entering the diner again. Dan took a cigarette from the pack and lit up. He took a drag and smoked the cigarette like he never stopped.

Once he was done he walked into the still vacant diner. He must of smelled like smoke more than he thought because Jackie asked, "Dan did you start smoking again?"

Dan whined as he said. "I couldn't stand the craving, all right?"

"What will your kids think?"

Dan glared at Jackie. "Nothing if you keep your mouth shut."


	34. Divorce is a dirty word

As Becky made dinner for her and Mark, Mark sat at the table watching an episode of _Law and Order _with a cold Budweiser in his hand. Becky was cooking hot dogs but she realized that the hot dogs buns had expired and they were all funky.

"Hey Mark can you go to the store real quick and get hot dog buns?"

Mark paid no attention to her. She waited a few seconds and tried again. "MARK!" This caught his attention, and he looked at her.

"What'd you say?" He asked nicely.

Becky felt herself getting angry, and tried to cool her temper. "These hot dogs buns are expired. Can you get some more from the store?"

Mark looked around. "Uh why don't you just make something else?"

Becky glared at Mark. She was mad going to this conversation, so it came as no shock to her now as she blew up. "We don't have anything else! When I went to the store yesterday all I could get was toilet paper, milk, eggs and hot dogs because you bought that stupid car part on Sunday."

Mark also felt himself getting angered. "I had to buy that! How else do you think I could get to work?"

"But you could have _tried _to fix it before you got a new one."

Mark rolled his eyes. "No I couldn't. There was no way to fix it. I could tell just by looking at it."

Becky crossed her arms. "But you could have tried!"

Mark shook his head and mimicked his wife's posture. "What do think I am a freaking MacGyver? I bet you only say that because your dad fixes everything."

Becky cocked her head. "Well he tries. And he does it BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE CAN'T EVER AFFORD A NYTHING NEW!"

Mark smiled wryly. "And yet he spends his money on a trip to Disney World. You know Beck, I'm sick of this. Ever since your mom died you compare everything I do or don't do to your dad and we're always fighting. We've always fought but now it's all we ever do."

Becky held her ground. "Well it's not all my fought. Ricky offered to pay you to install his CD player into his truck and you turned him down."

Mark flailed his arms. Fighting his extreme anger. "I turned him down because I don't have time. I _do_ a have a job remember?"

"But you didn't have work today! My dad worked at the diner today because they called in a rain day!"

Mark looked around guiltily. He hadn't told Becky that the Construction Company called in a rain day and he didn't think Becky would find out. He was sure that Dan wouldn't call Becky today.

"I fixed the carburetor on Jack's bike today. He did a me a favor."

Becky sighed heavily. "I bet that favor was a bag of pot, wasn't it?"

Mark looked at his feet. He had been completely drug free since he married Becky, but he started hanging around with his friends from high school again and fell into old habits. He didn't smoke regularly, but he was doing it more frequently. Becky could see the guilt on his face.

"What if they decide to give you a random drug test at work? Not only will you get fired but you'll get my dad in trouble."

Mark looked back at Becky. "I only smoke after work and on the weekends. And I don't do it that much."

Becky shook her head. "Well that DOES NOT change the fact that we are drowning in debt and can't pay it."

For the rest of the night and in the morning neither Becky nor Mark spoke to each other.

Once again Becky sat on her bed crying. Mark was devoting way more time to his friends than her and the rent went up so that the Mobile living community could pool their money for an updated and better water purification system to go with the well. Becky and Mark were struggling to pay their rent. Becky couldn't do anything, they had paid their rent late for the last seven months and even then it was the most minimal payment. The land lord stopped by after Becky got home for work today and the word 'Eviction' came up. Mark wasn't home yet but Becky had already made up her mind about what she was going do so she packed her bags.

After an hour, Mark walked through the door in a very good mood. Becky smelled marijuana. Becky stared at him grimly.

"Mark, I want a divorce."

Marks smile transformed into a frown. He suddenly turned gruff and mean.

"What?" Becky became aware that Mark was balling up his hands into fists. Something than on very rare occasions she had saw her father do.

"All we do anymore is fight, and we can't make the rent together. I think it's best for both of us."

Becky grabbed her bags and flew out of the door as she dodged the remote that Mark threw across the small room.

Becky cried and cried as she drove to her aunt Jackie's. Dan stood up as she barged through the door and straight into his arms.

Dan knew right away his daughter was crying and hugged her back. "What's wrong Becky?"

"I'm divorcing Mark." Becky said in between sobs. Dan and Jackie and DJ all looked at each other. They weren't surprised by this but this did come as a shock.

Dan embraced his daughter in his fatherly way. "Why, Beck?"

Becky buried her face into her dads' stomach, which she found to be way smaller than she remembered. "I can't do it anymore, dad."

Dan stood there hugging Becky, letting her get over her hysterical crying fit. Eventually she did, and she pulled away from Dan and faced Jackie. "Can I stay here, Aunt Jackie?"

Jackie nodded. "I guess but I don't know where you'll sleep."

That night, Becky became a mother hen to Jerry which Dan didn't mind. He knew that this was probably his daughter's way of coping. Jackie, Dan, DJ and Becky had Chinese for dinner. Like usual Dan had to force himself to eat. It was no wonder he had lost another eight pounds in the last week, he never ate and because of Jerry he hadn't had any time to plant himself in front the TV (Not that he could do that at Jackie's) or even read a newspaper.

Becky went to put Jerry down for the night and Dan followed her. He spoke quietly as she put pajamas on Jerry.

"Hey Beck are you sure you want to divorce Mark? It seemed like things were going good for you two."

Becky turned around to face her dad. "I thought you wanted me to divorce Mark?" She said trying to keep the conversation off of why she wanted a divorce.

Dan cocked his head trying to find the right words in his head. "Yeah I did when you first married him…and when I punched him on Thanksgiving…but I want you to be happier. I can stand you being married to Mark as long as I know you're happy" Dan said as he sat down in the rocking chair.

Becky took Jerry off the changing table and laid him down in the crib and put his blanket over him and then handed him his bottle. Dan reached behind him and dimmed down the lights enough to where Jerry would go to sleep yet he could see Becky. He spoke low, even though Jerry could go to sleep at a Grateful Dead concert.

Becky sat down on Andy's wooden toy box. "I should have listened to you and mom when we were first going out."

Dan sat back letting that sink in. "Listen Beck if you want to get a divorce you should. BUT you should try to talk out your problems first and see if you can fix them. How do you think your mom and I stayed together so well?"

Becky listened to her father. "Dad did you ever think about divorcing mom?"

Dan looked around the room. "Uh yeah and I'm sure she thought about divorcing me…probably more times than I thought about divorcing her…but still. Yeah I did."

Becky looked at her dad whose body was silhouetted from the light in the hall way. "Why didn't you?"

Dan laughed quietly. "I guess because I knew that if I did I'd have to pay alimony and child support. Do you know what the going rate for child support for three kids is these days?" Becky knew that her dad was joking. She walked over to him and lightly punched him in the shoulder, as he laughed and flinched. The two made their way to the living room, where Jackie was playing with toy rings with Andy and DJ was doing homework on the table.

"Hey dad. If you're building a deck and it has to have exactly eight joists and be eight feet long and six feet wide how many two by fours would you need?" DJ asked innocently.

Dan smiled and stared at his oldest son. "You know your sisters have both asked me similar questions before. Hey Becky what was my answer when you asked me about two by fours?"

Becky smiled at DJ. "More than one."

DJ stared at his dad. "Why do I ask you for help with math homework anyway you always give me the wrong answer."

Dan smiled. "I only told you the answer was three that day because you were being rude." Dan explained referring back to the day he helped DJ with his math homework and then was arrested for assault that night.

DJ just stared at his dad.

Later, the whole family decided to go to bed. Jackie went to bed in her bed with Andy next to her, DJ slept in Andy's bed which was actually more comfortable size wise than he expected, Dan slept on the floor next to the couch where Becky slept, and Jerry slept where he always sleeps at Jackie's. In Andy's crib.

Dan laid awake on the floor. Becky turned around and looked down at her dad.

"Want to switch places?" She asked, quietly in complete darkness.

Dan kept his eyes closed as he answered. "No. The couch is too small for my legs it's hurting my knees."

Becky went quiet for a while but then spoke again. "It feels so weird to not be sleeping with Mark. How do you do it every night?"

Dan had a solemn look on his face. He held his arm out held Becky's hand. "I don't. That's my secret."

Becky was sincere and caring when she asked. "Are you okay dad?"

Dan hadn't been looking at Becky as they talked, but now he opened his eyes and moved his head so he could look up and see Becky on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said lying through his teeth.

"Dad I know you're lying. You're never happy and it looks like you never eat or sleep. I really miss mom too, but I think that she'd want you to get over her and move with your life."

Dan didn't say anything, but he thought about this. That was a good point. No matter what happened in their lives, Roseanne always acted like they should just accept it and move on to try to live a happy life. Especially when her and Jackie's dad died or when Ed married Crystal.

Dan though about how she tried to get him to accept what happened with his dad and his mom, but it never seemed like he could. His mom was a lot of the reasons he drank.

Dan realized he hadn't said something and that Becky was expecting him too so he replied, "Beck, I love you and your sister and your brothers. You guys make me happy."

Becky gave Dan a look that said she didn't believe him. "You don't look happy."

Dan sighed. "Maybe not. But I do try to be happy."


	35. Darlene and David

PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE!

In the morning Dan woke up and flipped out because the clock said he was an hour late for work. He got up off the floor and went into the kitchen where he found Jackie at her breakfast nook feeding Jerry and Andy at the same time. As soon as he walked through the door, Jackie turned around to face him. "Oh Dan Chuck called and told me to tell you that work was cancelled again."

Dan was still in a sleepy daze so her words took a few seconds to register. When they finally did he asked, "What day of the week is it?"

Jackie gave Dan a funny look. "Friday."

Dan mumbles something and then went straight to the coffee maker. "Where's my other children?" He asked referring to DJ and Becky.

Jackie smiled, "Chicago, School and Work."

"Ahahaha. Funny." Dan mumbled as he walked over to the table by Jackie. "Here you focus on your kid." He said

The two sat quietly as they fed Andy and Jerry, but Jackie broke the silence. "So have you heard anything about your house?"

Dan held a spoon full of oatmeal in his hand. "Uh no. I'm still waiting for the insurance company to call."

Jackie studied Dan. "You're not worried about it are you?"

Dan smiled as he realized that Jackie was on to him. "No I'm not. Every time I'm in that house I think about Roseanne constantly. Here I still think about her but I'm not flooded with memories of us in every room."

Jackie leaned back in her chair and then pulled Andy so he was sitting on her lap. "Why don't you try to get a new house then?"

Dan looked at Jerry. It was amazing how much they look alike. "I thought about it but Roseanne always said she wanted all of our kids to live in the same house. That and I don't know how well I could keep up with a new mortgage and pay off old debts at the same time."

Jackie studied Dan again. "What about the money the old man gave you?"

"I did the math. Whatever I get from the insurance company will be enough to put new stuff in the house and that's about it. Plus my truck is on its last leg so I'll need to get a new one that's new to me because there's no way I can afford a brand new one. And I want to get DJ a car, and I'm still paying for two kids to go to college. And I want to get out of debt. And a big screen TV." The last part made Dan and Jackie both smile.

During the day, Dan was going stir crazy as he watched both the boys. They didn't need his help at the diner so he stayed at Jackie's. The highlight of his day was when a channel showed "The Blues Brothers." Dan actually enjoyed that and thought to himself he wished he could be a Blues Brother. He'd look good in those sunglasses and that suit. Once he managed to get both boys to fall asleep he quickly stepped outside and lit up a cigarette. He promised himself that he would ration one pack for a whole week, and so far this was second cigarette.

Finally he went fully stir crazy with the boys asleep he went into Jackie's master bathroom and went to work fixing her water pressure. He was done just in time for Andy to wake up. Thirty minutes later, Jerry woke up and the three played together until Jackie came back home and Dan went to his meeting. As he drove there he thought about how he was ready for the amends process but hasn't done anything about it yet.

When he got back from the meeting he found Jackie gone and DJ home alone with the boys.

"Hey I'm going to see your sister and David tonight. Do you want to go?" He asked DJ, sitting down next to him on Jackie's couch.

"Am I still in trouble for the whole St. Louis thing?" DJ asked, more like he was praying than asking.

Dan thought about it. Aside from the whole going to jail thing, Dan wasn't that upset over what happened in St. Louis. He was cutting DJ slack over it because of Roseanne's recent death. But he wasn't going to tell DJ that so he said, "Why do you ask?"

"I was going to see if I could go to the movies."

Dan cocked his head. "Yes. But you're still in trouble."

Dan and DJ played with the boys until Jackie got home. "Hey Jacks. It okay if DJ hangs with you while I take Jerry and go see David and Darlene?"

"Why are you asking? Of course it is." Just then Becky came in.

"Dad if I never date a boy again it will be too late!" She shouted red faced and angry.

"Well Becky that's one way to cheer your old man up." Jackie said.

"What happened?" Dan asked concerned.

Becky shook her head. "No if I tell you then you'll just go ballistic."

This made Dan defensive. "Becky I asked what happened?" He asked, sternly.

Becky looked around the room. The pulled her dad into the kitchen with the door closed. She was fearful of her dads reaction to what she was about to tell him. "We were unusually crowded today and something happened…." Becky decided to tell her dad by whispering it to him, so she stood on her tippy toes with her hands cupped. Dan had his hands in his jean pockets and bent his body so she didn't have to stand on her toes.

Dan's face went red with fury worse than time when Darlene told him what word Becky's boss called Becky. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and exclaimed with his hands. "You are NOT going back there." He said sternly, like when he told her she couldn't see Mark.

This made Becky madder. "So what I'm just supposed to quit my job?"

Dan felt himself going red with anger and took steps to control his anger. He breathed in deep. "Yes. Yes you are if guys are doing that to you!"

"It was only one guy! And he was drunk!" Becky exclaimed. She knew that her dad would react like this but she still felt defensive. She was a grown woman, so her dad shouldn't be telling her what she can and can't do.

Dan fought his temper but lost control. "Drunk? If guys are getting that drunk at that place that's a good reason for you to not work there!" Dan yelled, and then a second later he put his head in his right hand and talked at a normal level. "Look, I'm sorry I raised my voice. I just really wish you didn't work there."

Becky calmed down too. "It's alright dad. The only thing I like about that job is the tips and the pay anyway. "

Dan looked at his feet but shook his head. "Same with me and this prison job. Listen I'm taking Jerry and going to see David and Darlene. You want to come?"

"Uh not really. Isn't Darlene still pissed at you?"

"Yeah, but I miss her." Becky could obviously see that her dad's statement was painfully true.

In Chicago, David got home from work to find Darlene typing on her brand new Windows 98 desk top. (Paint was the boss on those)

"Hi, David." She said in a good mood. David said hi back knowing that Darlene's good mood would change in record time. He knew Darlene couldn't help it when she went psychotic, after all the pregnancy was playing Russian roulette with her hormones.

She was three months pregnant, and it showed. "Hey Darlene, um have you thought of a good date for the wedding yet?" He asked taking the opportune moment.

Darlene looked up from her computer. "Uh no. There's that whole bride's parents pay for the wedding thing, and I don't want my dad to worry about that."

David sat on the couch across from Darlene. "I know. I just thought we were going to do the wedding early."

Darlene smiled and stopped typing. "David, it's not like I wouldn't be the first woman in my family to get knocked up, have a baby and then get married. Jackie had Andy before she got married remember? And besides, the house just got robbed so I think my dad having a house to where he can actually raise his son's is more important than us getting married."

David looked down. That hurt his feelings, although he personally thought that the marriage would be more important to Mr. Conner than there house. While he thought about this Darlene came over and sat next to him, "Actually David there's something I want to talk to you about."

David put his hand on Darlene's hand and rubbed his thumb on top of her hand. "What?" He said, smoothly.

"I've been thinking and I kind of want to stay with my dad or Becky until I have the baby."

This hurt David too. But he wanted Darlene to be happy.

A minute later the phone rang and David answered it. "Hello?"

"David? Can I talk to Darlene please?" Becky asked.

"Sure. Darlene, Becky is on the phone." David handed Darlene the phone.

"Hello?" Darlene said.

"Hi, Darlene. I'm calling you because me and Mark are getting divorced." Darlene listened and David noticed that she had a perplexed look on her face.

"Okay…? I'm surprised you didn't decide that sooner." She said finally.

"I'm only calling you because I wanted to talk to someone who wasn't dad or Jackie." Becky said, a little defensively.

Darlene saw that Becky was trying to be nice so she tried too. "Okay, I'm sorry. Why?"

Becky sat at Jackie's table. "Ever since mom died, it's like I see how much me and him together are like Dad and Mom. He fixes cars and works with tools and I do whatever I can and clean and cook, and I guess after mom died I realized that that's not what I want out of life."

Darlene listened even though she found it hard to care. "You two together are as much like mom and dad together as me and David are like mom and dad. Mom and Dad together was a train wreck. The only reason they stayed together is because no one else could stand getting the grease stains out of dad's clothes and put up with him watching football when they're cleaning the house or cooking, and no one else could stand mom's overly commanding personality like dad. That's why they were together. You and Mark aren't like that." Darlene lied, knowing full well that her mom and dad stayed together because despite their flaws they loved each other.

"You really think so?" Becky asked, somewhat relieved.

"Yeah, I do."

"So am I going to have a niece or a nephew?"

"Niece. Just found out yesterday."

Darlene heard Becky deliver this news to Jackie. Jackie then high jacked the phone. Congratulations, Darlene!" Jackie said happily.

Becky took the phone from Jackie. "Congratulations, Darlene."

Darlene suddenly became bored with this conversation, so she decided to get off the phone. "I have to go, Beck. Bye."

"Bye." The sisters hung up and Darlene looked at David. "Your brother and my sister are getting divorced."

Just as she finished her sentence there was a knock on the door. David got up off the couch and walked across the room and opened the door. He was shocked to find Mr. Conner and Jerry.

"Hey, Mr. Conner." He said, as Dan carried Jerry into the apartment. Dan looked around amazed at how clean and modern their apartment was. "Nice place." Dan said as he put Jerry down. Jerry stayed where he was barely as tall as Dan's knees.

Darlene smiled. "He's walking?"

Dan felt a sudden pang of nervousness around Darlene. "Uh yeah. More like running." The room went quiet for a minute, and Dan started to think this was a bad idea. "Listen if you don't like that I just showed up its fine. It won't hurt my feelings if you think that…" Dan said trying to back out of this whole idea while he could.

Darlene stood up. "No its fine, dad. I'm glad you're here." Darlene managed to stand up and then hugged her dad. David and Dan looked at each other as Dan mouthed, "hormones."

When his youngest daughter finally let go of him, Dan took the diaper bag off of his shoulder and laid it down and then zipped it open and pulled out some toys for Jerry.

"God, Dad you look like Mr. Mom with that." Darlene said, true to form.

Dan laughed. "I know and that's why I'm the butt of my poker buddies jokes."

Darlene sat on the couch followed by Dan and David. Darlene asked curiously, "So what's the deal with the house?" It felt weird to her to be talking like this to her dad with him as her guest. She wondered if this meant she could count on never being grounded again.

Dan sighed as he thought about his answer. "Um, the insurance company needs to hear from the police before they can pay me. For now I'm staying with Jackie. I'm hoping that I'll hear from them soon so that I can move back in by Monday."

David noticed how skinny Dan was and wondered if he _ever _ate. "Why so soon, Mr. Conner?" Dan looked at David thinking that it was time for him to start calling him 'Dan' but then he decided not to bring it up right now.

"I was offered a job at Four Aces Hardware. I'll start there on Monday." Dan said as he awkwardly stared at Darlene's baby bump. "May I?" Dan asked holding up the palm of his hand.

Darlene's face lit up. "Sure." She pulled her shirt up slightly leaving enough room for her dads big, rough hands.

Dan smiled and put his hand on her stomach, "Ooh that this baby is active. You kicked like that. One time mom let Becky feel you inside her stomach and she asked if mom ate Pop Rocks." Darlene watched her dad. There was something different about her dad and it wasn't just his size. He had a certain depressed look on his face one that she had seen on his face only once before; the morning after he had to commit his mom to a mental institution.

She looked at him. "Are you okay, dad?"

Dan looked at Darlene. "Yeah, I am." Dan was a good poker player, but tonight his daughter could call his bluff.

"You don't look like it."

Dan pulled his hand off Darlene's stomach, and then got off the couch. He stood tall and straight and waved his arms at his sides. "Uh you're not the first kid to ask me if I'm okay. I'm trying to hide it and I'm obviously failing but let me tell you that it's not your job to worry about me all right? It's my job to worry about you."

Darlene and David and even Jerry looked at Dan. Dan suddenly felt like he was making a speech in front of a crowd so he changed the subject. "Uh do you guys have any milk?" David shook his head yes, as Dan pulled a bottle from the diaper bag.


	36. THE DATE!

Darlene, David, and Dan all sat at the little table in Darlene and David's Chicago apartment, with Jerry sitting in his dads lap. Since Dan busted out his small speech, all conversation had become very casual on top of a layer of tension. Dan cussed himself in side of his head for making it that way.

Dan could no longer stand the awkward silence as he ate his Spaghetti. "So have you two decided on a date for the wedding yet? If you have I will pay…"

David looked up from his plate and shifted his attention between Mr. Conner and Darlene. He saw that Darlene wasn't intending to say anything so he said, "Not yet, Darlene wants to put it off until you…." David quickly tried to stop talking as he realized that he probably shouldn't say what he was about to say. But Dan noticed.

"I what, David?" Dan asked with a small amount of sharpness.

David looked at Dan and stuttered. "You…you know…uh…" Darlene watched her fiancé floundered like a fish out of water so she rescued him.

"I want to wait until you can move back into the house. I want to wait until I think you're okay. And I know that's not what you want to hear, dad, but you need to hear it. Mom's death affected all of us, but it affected you the most because you're the only one of us who chose to be with her. I love you dad, and it hurts me to know that you can't move past it. Mom would want you to move past it. " David and Dan listened to this and David thought about how much this speech reminded him of Mrs. Conner.

Dan stared dumbfounded at his daughter with a fork twirled with spaghetti in his hand. He didn't say anything but refocused his attention on Jerry as he took the spaghetti off the fork and then replaced it with a quart size piece of a meatball which he fed to Jerry. He didn't take a bite for himself again, but fed Jerry.

When they were done, Dan took all of the dishes and went to do the dishes as Jerry played with a toy dinosaur in the living room and Darlene and David sat on the couch watching him uncomfortably.

When he was done, he walked in the living room and looked at both of them as he spoke normally. "Can you watch Jerry for a minute? I forgot something in the truck." Dan lied, and then walked out of the door, down the stairs and to his truck where he got the pack of Marlboro's from his glove box.

He knew that he'd smell like smoke, but he didn't care. He needed something _right now _to deal with what was going on in his head. He replayed Darlene's speech in his head. She was right he did need to move past Roseanne's death, and just like he had been told before Roseanne would want him to move on with life. Dan's only problem was that he wasn't sure how to do that.

While he was smoking, Darlene and David talked.

"Darlene, I think we should have the wedding soon. I mean I think it would make him happy. I mean he obviously _wants _us to get married soon."

Darlene crossed her arms. "I know that he wants us to get married soon. I just have this terrible feeling that something bad will happen like he'll have a heart attack or something." (I HAD TO DO IT; I JUST HAD TO GO THERE!)

David stood up from the couch. "That won't happen Darlene. You're just nervous about the idea. Besides I_ kind of _want to get married soon."

Darlene uncrossed her arms and then realized how truthful he was being. "You do?"

David sat back down on the couch next to Darlene. "Yeah. I do. I can't wait for us to get married."

Darlene and David held hands. Darlene looked at David as she spoke, "Well then let's see if my dad has a shot gun. We'll have the perfect Conner wedding!" Darlene said energetically causing Jerry to look up at her from the floor.

David stared at her curiously. "Don't you mean a Healy wedding?"

Darlene smiled. "That too."

Dan came back in, and dropped the folded up playpen that he got from his truck on the floor and immediately Darlene and David smelled smoke.

"Smoking causes emphysema, dad. What are you planning on doing with you iron lung?" Darlene asked, referencing the time when Dan and Roseanne sat her down on the couch in the living room and had her smoke a cigarette while praising her for being a grown up before telling her about emphysema.

Dan smiled because he knew what she was referencing. He talked loudly and seemingly energetically. "Okay, I started smoking. At least it's not drinking. I want you guys to get married soon. I may be being selfish but I think it'd actually make me happy. Darlene, you're right your mother would want me to move past her death and I do try and now I'm going to try harder." Dan switched his attention to David. "David, you are like a son to me and I'd like to be able to take credit for how good of a person you are but I can't really because you came into our house good. I want you to know that if you ever need anything that you don't need to be afraid to come to me. Mrs. Conner loved you and I Iove you. I'd also like to say that one of my biggest regrets is throwing you through that door. Now please, get married or I'm going to buy a shotgun." Darlene and David smiled at each other, and Dan bent down and hugged them both on the couch. It seemed that all was forgiven.

That night, after Jerry fell asleep on Darlene and David's bed, Dan, Darlene, and David all gathered around the TV and watched, _Titanic. _Dan sat in between them, Bogarting the popcorn which he actually enjoyed eating. Darlene reached over and took a handful from the bowl. "I bet you taught mom how to spit."

Dan looked at Darlene. "No, she taught me…" He joked. Darlene smiled as she saw her real dad again. The one who looked somewhat happy.

Once Rose let go of Jack into that cold and icy Atlantic Ocean, David went into their room and carried Jerry out and put laid him down in the playpen that Dan brought up from his truck, and Dan went to sleep on the couch.

In the morning Darlene woke Dan up while holding the phone in her hand. "Dad, the phones for you."

Dan groggily woke up and took the phone. You could hear the sleepiness in his voice. "Hello?"

"Yes, Mr. Conner. This is Glenna Jones, from your insurance company." Dan listened and then sat up and put his feet on the floor, excitedly.

"Hi, Glenna."

"Hi, Mr. Conner. Well we received word back from the police department of Lanford and we've declared that based on the damage of the robbery we can pay you a sum of twenty thousand dollars. In fact we deposited the money earlier this morning so it should be in your bank accounts. (I've never had a house, or a house that was robbed so I have absolutely no idea how much Dan would really be paid by his insurance company.)

"Oh that soon? Thank you." Dan said cheerfully, as Darlene listened in.

"You're welcome Mr. Conner and I hope we never have this conversation again."

"Me too. Thank you. Bye." Dan hung up.

"Well, I'm a lot richer than I was yesterday." Dan said to Darlene as he stood up and stretched.

Darlene walked to her dad. "Oh yeah how much richer? Swimming pool richer? Or DJ new car richer?" Darlene asked, making a feel for how loaded her dad was.

Dan just stared at her dad and smiled annoyingly. "Darlene you may be expecting child but that does not mean I'm going to discuss my personal finances with you."

Darlene glared at her dad as a wave of de ja vu rushed passed her as she remembered when her mom told her and Becky that you never ask your parents questions about money. "What about your will?"

Dan still smiled smugly. "In my will it will read IOU." This was a joke, and Darlene laughed sarcastically as she did not see the humor.

"Can I at least have the house?" She asked matching her dads tone.

Dan and Darlene stared at each other and ended up in an impromptu staring contest. Darlene couldn't hold out any longer and blinked.

"You lose." Dan said pointing at Darlene who was standing directly in front of him like three feet away.

"Dad I was actually wondering if I could stay with you until I have the baby."

Dan cocked his head, as this caught him off guard. "Don't you want to be with David?"

Darlene looked at her feet, "I do. It's just that I don't like being home alone. I want to be in Lanford where there's Becky and Jackie and you. Every minute I'm alone I get this hard feeling in my chest and think of every bad thing that could possible happen…" Dan nodded in understanding and held up his hand to stop her.

"Okay I understand. I don't mind if you move back for a little bit Darlene, as long as you're sure you won't hurt David's feelings."

Darlene looked at her bedroom door where she knew David was still sleeping. "We talked about this he's fine with it."

Dan looked at the bedroom door too. "Okay, then."

Darlene suddenly remembered something and then grabbed an envelope off the counter. "Hey dad, want to see you're grandchild first picture?" She said as she pulled out a copy of her first ultrasound.

Dan came next to her and took one from her hand and then looked up at it from the kitchen light. "It's a girl." He proclaimed proudly.

Darlene looked up at her dad. "How do you know?"

Dan looked down at Darlene. "Darlene, I have had two of each. Believe me I know the difference between a girl and a boy in an ultrasound."

Back in Lanford, Dan pulled his truck into Jackie's drive way and put it into park. Before he could turn his key Darlene reached over Jerry and put her hand on his hand. "One more thing, dad. Where's you're cigarettes?"

Dan cracked a small smile and pointed to his glove box. Darlene opened the glove box and took out the pack of cigarettes. When she saw what brand they were she looked at her dad. "Marlboro's? You look like the Marlboro man."

They all walked through Jackie's door, (Dan had a key to her house) and found Jackie with Andy in where else? The living room.

"Hey guys." Darlene nodded and waved, but then bolted to the bathroom. Dan put Jerry down and then walked behind Jackie's couch and leaned on it from the back in the way that he had a habit of doing.

"Hey Jackie, got news on my house. They already paid me. Want to be my "Woman's touch"?"

Jackie turned her body backwards and looked at her brother in law. "You're in a good mood."

Dan smiled devilishly. "I know. I killed your mother this morning."

Jackie laughed. "Good I can take down that contract for her head." Then Jackie changed subjects. "Listen thanks for fixing my water pressure."

Dan laid his chin on top of his hands which were stacked on top of each other with his elbows spread out far. "You're welcome ma'am." Dan said, parodying a stereo typical plumber.

Darlene walked back in the room and Jackie looked at her. "What'd you and David do to him? Spike his coffee?"

Darlene took her coat off and looked at her dad who was still smiling. "He's just happy because me and David set a date."

With the mention of a date, Jackie jumped from the couch excitedly. "You did? When?"

Darlene couldn't help but smile. "A week from tomorrow."

Jackie's face contorted a she became confused. "You're getting married in seven days? Don't you think that's a bit sudden?"

Darlene shook her head. "Yep. That's what's so great about it."

Dan couldn't help but laugh as he watched this go down. "At least we can _attend_ her wedding." He said referring to Becky's wedding.

Darlene also laughed at this and then pulled a picture from her wallet. "You want to see my daughter's first picture?" She handed the ultrasound to Jackie who gushed over the picture.

"Ohhh she's so cute…"


	37. A Full House

Dan, Darlene, DJ, David, Jackie, Becky, and Darlene all journeyed to the furniture and appliance store in Rodbells, with Andy and Jerry in tow. Right now, Dan's only priorities were kitchen appliances, a couch and a TV (You know the IMPORTANT STUFF).

They stood in front of a brown soft leather couch (the kind you can draw on with your finger) all voicing their opinions.

A sales associate came up to them. "Can I help you with anything?" He asked, overly cheerfully.

Dan looked at him. "Yes, I was wondering how soon we could have our purchases delivered to us."

The sales associate crossed his arm in a professional manner. "Well it's the weekend but depending on the size of the order, we can work something out."

Dan still looked at the guy. "Well you see my house was robbed and I just got the insurance money today so I was hoping to put stuff in my house as soon as possible."

The sales associate smiled in his corporate way as everybody was shocked to see Dan, play the sympathy card, because that's not like him at all.

The sales associate spoke, "Well you know what, pick whatever you want from the showroom and I'll see that you get it all on a truck by six."

Dan smiled. "Well thank you, buddy."

Two hours later, and six Darlene bathroom breaks later, the family had all picked out a couch, a refrigerator, a stove, a dinette set, a coffee table with matching end tables, a leather couch with matching living room chairs, and just what Dan always wanted, a big screen TV. They figured they'd worry about other stuff later.

They carpooled to 714 Delaware Street. Andy was with them and he escaped the living room and opened the bottom cabinets in the kitchen. Jackie called everybody into the kitchen.

"Hey look my softball trophy! And the golden model T! Why would they leave Godzilla and the blanket in the living room, but leave all this junk in the cabinets?"

Darlene took another item from the cabinets and it was the Grenade that sat in the window sill by the kitchen sink. "Never did understand why mom had this."

Dan took it from her. "To remind me that she could go off at any time. I think."

Becky took the grenade from her dad. "I think it's just a prop from Halloween."

Darlene looked at her sister. "So is the TNT under the sink…."

"Oh look you're moms troll…." David said holding the little toy up in his hand.

Jackie took it from him, "Never did know where Mrs. Conner found that."

The family went through all the cabinets and they found most of the worthless family junk which they all took joy in.

Jerry and Andy played in a play pen while the family played a game of poker all the while sitting on the carpet in the empty living room. At 5:20 the delivery people showed up.

"Just tell us where you want this and we'll install and move everything in for you." The large man said, to Dan.

Dan held the door open for the man as the others talked about the best way to get the furniture through the door. Dan smiled but obviously something was wrong.

"I didn't pay for installation." Dan said trying to be nice.

The man looked at his clipboard. "It says right here that you did. That part of the order was charged to a credit card." As the man spoke Dan looked directly at Jackie who was guiltily making her way to the kitchen. Dan spoke to the man.

"I understand. Excuse me for a minute." Dan said with his attention on Jackie.

He walked over to Jackie and said under his breath "Oh Jackie we need to talk…"

David, Darlene, DJ, and Becky all watched as Dan had an angry look on her face.

Dan and Jackie walked in Dan's room, and Jackie sat on the bed like a kid who was in trouble for drawing on the walls.

"I didn't ask you to pay for me, Jackie." Dan said, sharply but with his normal voice.

Jackie looked at her nails in order to avoid eye contact with Dan. Dan noticed this and bent down sideways to be at her eye level. "Jackie, I'm talking to you."

Jackie looked up at Dan. "Dan I got Leon to agree to pay you Roseanne's share of the money from the diner. He gave it to me in cash and I used my MasterCard."

Dan looked down at his feet. "You know I don't like it when family helps me out."

Jackie stood up. "Dan we've been through this. We're friends remember? I want to help you out."

Dan sighed and sat on his bed with his hands in his pockets. "Jackie it's not really about friends. If people are always helping me out then it's like I owe them something and I don't think I can handle that right now."

Jackie sat next to Dan. "Leon wanted to ask you to fix the pipes in the diner kitchen. Consider the money an advanced payment or a favor."

Dan looked at Jackie. "Does anyone know about this?" Jackie shook her head no, and then Dan ran his hand across his hair. "Thank you, Jackie." The two people walked back into the living room. The other kids looked at each other, seeing the difference in Dan's mood

Dan talked loudly at the delivery men. "Sir I think it'd be easiest for you to start with the kitchen."

The three guys nodded and then brought in the new refrigerator, followed by the table and chairs. Then they brought in the coffee table followed by the couch and chairs and then Dan's big screen TV and lastly, the end tables. As soon as the men left Dan launched himself on his new couch and stretched out with his hands behind his head and his feet hanging off the end.

He had a giant grin on his face as he turned the TV on to static. "Needs bunny ears, but you know what? I think I'll take a nap." The family watched as Dan appeared to fall asleep like a baby.

Everyone circled around him and looked down at him. "Aunt Jackie what position did my dad play on the football team?" DJ asked.

Jackie looked at her nephew. "You don't know?" DJ shook his head.

Dan kept his eyes clothes as he said in a matter as fact tone, "Defensive line man." All the girls looked at DJ and smiled while Dan went back to sleep again.

While he was asleep, Jackie took Becky and DJ and went to the store and bought all kinds of food plus necessities for the house. When they got home they found David and Darlene at the kitchen table and Dan missing from the couch.

"Where's dad?" Becky asked as Jackie, Becky and DJ stood in the living room.

Darlene looked at the utility room. "Garage."

DJ went to his room, Becky took a shower and Jackie travelled to the garage while Darlene and David stayed at the kitchen table.

"You know I should have apologized for what I did, because I did it knowing it'd upset you." She said as Dan sat on his rolling chair and sanded a small piece of wood.

"It's okay Jackie. I'm sorry for losing my temper." Jackie saw that Dan wanted to be alone so she left the garage.

That night, Jackie took Andy and went home, leaving Dan at home with _all _his kids including David.

David and Darlene slept in Dan's bed under the condition that all they did was _sleep, _because Dan didn't want Darlene to have to go up and down the stairs, while Becky slept on the bed in the basement and the boys slept in their respective rooms. That left Dan sleeping on his new couch which he found extraordinarily comfy.

It felt good for everyone to be in that house. Even if it was lacking Roseanne,

Dan woke up to Jerry's crying on the baby monitor that was left in his room, so he got up off the couch and took care of him.

Sunday was devoted to wedding planning which was overseen by David, who wanted the responsibility. Until two, everyone was in a good mood and seemingly content.

At two, Beverly knocked on the door. Dan rolled his eyes as she stood in the living surveying the room's contents.

"Well Dan it seems your house is lacking a woman's touch." She said, before Dan and Becky stared at each other behind her back.

"Well Bev it's nice to see you, too." Dan said with his Captain Son in Law face as Bev looked at Becky.

"A little birdie told me that you and Mark were getting a divorce." Becky crossed her arms defensively and sighed.

"We are." Becky said trying to sound cheerful and failing epically.

"Well I just wanted to offer you my condolences." This she said directly to Becky. Now she focused her complete attention to Dan. "Dan I was wondering what you had planned for Jerry's education."

Dan had an annoyed look on his face but he held together his emotions. "I planned on him going to the same Elementary school that all the kids went to."

Beverly cupped her hands together in a natural way. "I meant have you considered day care for Jerry?"

Dan looked curious. "We've never put our kids in day care."

Bev tried to be sincere and sound caring. "I know, but I thought maybe under the circumstances you might consider it."

Dan stared blankly, estimating her reasons for bringing this topic up. "Oh good idea Bev, I will consider it."

Bev gave Dan a strange look, and then changed the subject. "Now where are David and Darlene?"

Dan said nothing but pointed to the kitchen. Bev went into the kitchen, where DJ, Darlene and David were at the table looking at dress and tuxedo magazines.

"Hi, grandma." DJ said.

"Hi." Darlene and David said in unison.

"Hello, children. What are your wedding colors?" Beverly said, rather pointedly.

All three looked at each other and then at Bev. They saw Dan walk behind Bev and into his room in a very fast fashion but said nothing. "Well we thinking about Blue and White, you know the Cubs colors." Darlene said, deadpanned but totally lying.

In his bedroom, Dan sat on the bed and took the phone off the receiver and dialed Jackie's number, as he listened to the dial tone he thought, _God I'm turning into Roseanne! I want a cigarette._

Jackie answered and was shocked to hear Dan's voice. "Your mom is here! HELP!"

Jackie smiled. "I'd love to Dan but I have a date with Booker. Sorry."

Dan's phone call wasn't a truly serious one so he responded with. "Likely story."

He heard Jackie laugh and then hang up. He walked back to the kitchen and found his kids there but no Beverly.

"Where's you're grandma?"

Darlene looked at her dad. "We killed her."

Dan shook his head in understanding. "Okay. Who wants pizza?"


	38. Leon and Steven

Sunday night, David said his goodbyes and went back to Chicago, while all of Dan's kids went to see a movie with Jerry. Dan used this time to host a poker game for his prison drywall buddies, all came minus Mark.

"Man I hope they don't call in work tomorrow. Anne Marie is so used to me going to work that she's ready to kill me." Chuck said, smoking a cigar.

"At least you have a wife." George said.

Dan looked at George and felt a sudden pang of sadness as he realized that George was including him in that statement. Chuck saw Dan's sudden sadness and changed the subject quickly. "So Dan have you heard anything from Mark?"

Dan took a drink from his Coke. "No. But I hope he calls you if he's not coming in tomorrow. I'd feel bad if I knew you were two men short."

Chuck smiled. "Actually I found a replacement for you."

Dan looked at Chucky, with a face that said he was happy for him. "Really? Who?"

"Some guy named Booker Brooks." Dan laughed as he held his cards in his hands away from the view of his friends.

"Booker? Booker is taking over for me?"

They all looked at Dan. "You know him?"

Dan smiled wide. "Yeah, I do. He's dating Jackie, and he used to be Roseanne and Jackie's boss when they worked at Wellman's."

George looked at Dan. "Roseanne worked at Wellman's?"

Dan shook his head, "Yes."

Later, all four of Dan's kids got home with a sleeping Jerry. Dan took him from Becky. "Did he give you any trouble?"

All the kids looked at their dad. "No, he was asleep through the whole movie."

Dan nodded and then took Jerry up the stairs and into his room.

The sleeping arrangements remained the same as yesterday, and on Monday, Dan woke up amazingly energized and ready for work.

His three older kids were glad to see that his depression seemed to have been healed, but Darlene worried that it was only suppressed and that it would take over her dad again. Every single Conner had Cheerio's and Dan drove DJ to school on his way to work, while Becky filled in for Stacey at the diner (That looked to be permanent as Leon had grown tired of Stacey's constant tardiness and preoccupation with every single single guy that walked through the diner). Darlene stayed home with Jerry. Dan ultimately refused but Darlene convinced him that even though she was pregnant she could take care of a baby. "Dad, mom took care of me when she was pregnant with DJ and took care of Becky when she was pregnant with me…"

At his new job, Rocko explained that really all Dan needed to do was help out with customers and keep tabs on the younger employee's. This put Dan in a good mood; he found he really liked this job. Pretty much the sum of his day was asking if customers needed help, helping them, checking them out and asking what the other employees were doing every half hour.

One younger employee went missing for a lengthy period of time. Dan went looking for him and found him sitting nonchalantly, behind a stack of shelves that various garden supplies. The kid, who was named Devon, took a drag off his cigarette, eyeing Dan in a way that Dan found a small bit unsettling.

"You're supposed to be stocking the nail and screw jars." Dan said sternly as if he were talking to one of his kids.

Devon said nothing but stared at Dan and took another drag at his cigarette. "Yeah, and you're supposed to be checking up on me. That's the only reason you were hired."

Dan stared back at the 20 year old. "I'm doing my job. Which is the least I can say for you."

Devon smiled. A creepy chilling smile that reminded Dan of his first meeting with Mark. He stood up, as he put out his cigarette. The kid was at least a foot taller than Dan and skinnier even with Dan's slimmed down size. The kid wanted to make Dan feel threatened. Dan knew this and hid his tiny amount of fear.

"I heard that your daughter divorced Mark." Somehow saying this made the kid seem evil. Dan didn't let his uneasiness show though. That would give Devon power over Dan.

The kid glared at Dan but walked away and did what he was supposed to do.

One customer came by and Dan recognized him immediately. It was Steven, Leon's partner in marriage.

Steven saw him and came up to him. "Oh Dan. You work here now?"

"Yeah, todays my first day. Can I help you with anything?"

Steven talked with his hands as he talked, "You can actually. The tile in our kitchen has spaces in between it, like its missing that stuff. I don't know what it's called…."

Dan nodded knowingly, "Grout…"

Steven pointed at Dan. "Grout yeah that stuff. Anyway Leon tells me that he won't help me fix it because I don't do my fair share around the house. I told him that it wouldn't get fixed if he didn't do it himself, but Leon tells me that if I don't do it that he would stop cooking dinner because he can't do that if the tiles in the kitchen hurt his feet." Dan listened to all this trying to block the images of Leon and Stevens married life out of his head. He respected Leon and Steven and their beliefs but he really didn't want to get involved with their drama.

Dan waved his hand. "I understand, Steven, and what you need is this."

Dan walked down an aisle and found the tubes of Grout. "See this? This works just like a tube of icing. Point it, push the trigger down, and stay in the lines. Be careful you don't smear it and it'll dry in about an hour. My advice is start at the far side of the kitchen and work your way out or you'll be playing hop scotch." Dan's advice came from experience. He had used the stuff hundreds of times.

Steven smiled and walked away until Dan remembered to ask something. "Wait how big is your kitchen?"

Steven scrunched his eyes together as he thought. "I don't know. "

Dan sighed, not every man had his gift for correctly estimating the square footage of a room. "Well then I'd buy two just to be careful. You can always return the other one if you don't need it."

On his lunch break at noon, he walked down the street to the diner. "Hey, dad." Becky said as Dan sat down at the counter.

"Hi, Beck. Busy today?"

Becky shook her head. "No but Leon is pissed at something and is making us all suffer."

Jackie heard this from the loose meat pan, and shook her head with her hand on her hip and the meat spreader in her hand (In reality it's a small garden hoe that caused a great commotion on a season five episode of Roseanne on YouTube.) "He's driving me crazy!"

Becky put a plate in front of her dad, and Dan pointed at the chips rack. Becky gave him the BBQ ones, and Jackie put a sandwich on his plate. "I'll take a Coke, too."

As Jackie was handing him the Coke, Leon came out and he looked mad. "Dan thank god you're here. I need you to fix the pipes in the kitchen."

Dan watched Leon talk. "Sorry Leon. I'm working."

Leon exclaimed with hands. "You're the one that did the pipes in the first place."

Dan started to get annoyed with Leon too. "Yeah you're right I did. I'll fix them when I get a chance."

Leon was amazingly snooty today. "You know Dan it seems like everything you fix needs fixed again." He said before exiting the room quickly to avoid physical confrontation with Dan.

Dan stood up. "You know that was brave coming from a man who is normally afraid of me." Dan said sitting back down. Dan had always a feeling that Leon was afraid of him, which showed immensely the time he came to see him after work one day, and they talked about Roseanne and Leon wanted Dan to stay away from him. That night Dan sat on his hands at the counter to set Leon at ease.

Jackie lowered the heat on the loose meat but then went over to Dan. "I would like to know what his problem is." She said, with a hint of contempt.

Dan looked in the direction where Leon went. "Maybe he's having a problem with 'STEVEN'." Becky looked at her dad. Dan saw her strange look and then swallowed the bite in his mouth before answering, "Don't ask."

Booker walked in, took off his coat and sat next to Dan at the counter. "Hey Booker, how's the drywall treating you?"

Booker looked Dan up and down. "Good, it's a very interesting experience."

Dan laughed a small laugh as he looked at Jackie. "I thought that's what you said about dating Jackie."

Jackie reacted to it by gently slapping him across the face. Dan finished eating and then journeyed back to work.

He got off work in time for his meeting. To Dan's dismay he was called up to speak.

Dan walked up to the podium feeling the crushing weight in his chest as he remembered that he was afraid to speak in front of a group. Dan stood at the podium staring at everybody, he knew what he was supposed to say, he just wasn't sure how to say it. He looked down and cleared his throat and then he looked up again and began.

"Hi. I'm Dan and I'm an alcoholic."

The audience replied, "Hi, Dan."

Dan nodded and continued, "I have four kids. The oldest is going through a divorce and the youngest is still in diapers. I was uh, in a car accident that killed my wife, Roseanne. Something happened when I was in the hospital and I realized that I was an alcoholic. Because I was afraid of what would happen to me with my wife gone I asked my sister in law to watch my two sons, and went to rehab. When I got out, I went back to work and started attending meetings. Thank you." Dan watched the eyes of his audience. For a split second he thought he did something wrong but then they clapped. Dan smiled nervously and sat back down next to Benny. Benny leaned over.

"That was good son."

When the meeting was over Dan went home, and found all his kids at home, with Becky making grilled cheese sandwiches and Campbell's tomato soup.

"Hi dad." They each said as he stood in the kitchen after coming in through the back door.

"Hi." Dan looked around and saw that the pictures of the dogs playing nine ball had made an appearance by the living room door. "I see that you've decorated."

Becky and Darlene looked at each other. "Well we know you like those pictures so we bought new ones."

Dan smiled. "Ah ha. Well thank you." Dan put his lunchbox and thermos on top of the fridge. The girls were happy to see him do that as that was one of his signature characteristics.


	39. DJ's Movie Casting Idea

PLEASE REVIEW….

The family ate their sandwiches. Dan sat at his spot at the head of the table at the far end of the table, with his sons on either side of him, and one of his daughters sitting next to their brother. Roseanne's spot at the other end table sat empty (Obviously)

DJ played with his spoon before finding the courage to ask his question. "Does anyone else think that mom is haunting the house?"

Dan looked at DJ, and so did Becky and Darlene. Dan spoke first. "Why do you think that, son?"

DJ looked at Dan. "Sometimes I hear noises like someone is walking around from your room to behind me. And no one's there." DJ was talking to Dan, but Darlene spoke to.

"Of course mom is haunting the house."

Now Becky talked, "If she's haunting the house that means she has unfinished business."

DJ glowered at Becky. "You got that from Casper!"

Darlene looked at Becky, "Her business _is_ to haunt the house!"

Dan noted that this talk was fastly becoming a fight, by the way that all his kids were raising their voices. He intervened, loudly.

"Hey! _Everyone _stop fighting."

Dan finished his command and his kids went quiet. DJ turned to his dad and glared at him. "You think mom is going to hell."

Dan looked at DJ, "No I don't."

DJ continued his death stare. "Yes you do. I told you once that if you didn't believe in God then you'll go to Hell and you said 'That's okay. I prefer to stay with your mother.' That meant you thought mom was going to Hell."

Dan stared dumbfounded at his son. As Dan remembered that DJ was right, he did say that. Darlene and Becky watched their dad's facial expressions. He looked hurt by DJ's statement.

Dan tried to control his feelings. He knew this was an ultra-sensitive subject. "That was meant to be a joke."

DJ eyed his dad. Dan said nothing and stood up and left the kitchen. Everyone watched him leave. Dan sat silently burying his head in his hands.

"I wonder what that's all about." Darlene said.

Everyone remained quiet especially Dan who said nothing for the remainder of the meal.

When he was finished eating, Dan put his plate in the sink and then went upstairs. He knocked on DJ door.

"DJ?" He didn't get a reply so he tried again. "DJ?" Still no answer. Now Dan realized that DJ wasn't answering him on purpose so he opened the door without a response.

DJ was at his desk, writing something on loose leaf. "Why didn't you answer me?" Dan asked, gruffly.

DJ kept his eyes on his paper and ignored Dan. Dan remembered the time that Becky refused to speak to Roseanne and wondered of this is what it felt like. Dan watched his son, knowing that DJ was mad at him. One of Dan's worse fears was the idea that he would end up with the same relationship with DJ or Jerry that he shared with his father. He was determined to see that their relationship did not come to that.

So he dropped his tone and tried to sound friendlier. But not too friendly after all he was the boy's father.

"I'm sorry for what I said DJ."

DJ looked up and swung around in his chair to face his dad. "It's okay."

Dan sighed, DJs tone still registered anger. Dan sat on DJ's bed with his hands cupped together in his lap. "We haven't talked just you and me in a while. What's going on?" Dan tried to sound happy. He really wanted the satisfaction of knowing that DJ was okay with him again.

DJ sighed. "Still working on the movie."

Dan smiled. That was satisfaction enough. "Yeah, how is that going?"

"Well we're still writing the script but we can't agree on what happens in the movie."

Dan shook his head. "Well you'll find that that happens quite a lot…unfortunately."

DJ played with the pencil that was in his hand. "Well we know that we want it to be about a football team. Xavier wants it to have zombies, and the girls want cheerleaders no one can get along."

Dan sat back. It seemed to him that it would have been fairly easy to make a story, with a football team, cheerleaders and zombies. "I'm sorry son. I don't see the problem."

DJ got up off his desk chair and then sat by his dad on his bed. "We need an adult to play the football coach and we can't decide to ask." Dan looked around nervously. DJ looked at his dad, and Dan knew what DJ was thinking. "Dad could you be our football coach?"

Dan shot up from the bed and found himself pacing all the while keeping his attention on DJ.

"Uh, I guess on the weekends. I don't know how well I could play the part though…." Dan all the sudden got shy.

DJ stood up. "Dad you were a football player. How hard could it be for you to act like a coach?"

Dan put his hand on his chest like the THINKING MAN. "Not hard I guess but son there's something you should know." Dan sat on the bed next to DJ again. "Son I get stage fright."

DJ stared at his dad. "You used to be in a band…"

Dan shook his head. "I know. And every time I was on stage I was um you…know."

DJ mouthed the word. "Drunk?"

Dan nodded. "Yeah. I was drunk. I have a hard time with talking in front of a lot of people. I failed drama because I couldn't speak in front of an audience. Teacher cast me in a tiny scene of the play Big River as Huckleberry Finns dad and I passed out. Of course I never told you're mom that but still." Dan exclaimed with his hands.

"Dad, we'd just need you to act like the coach from Revenge of the Nerds. You love that movie…In fact you kind of look like that guy."

Dan looked down at his self. Now that he was way thinner, he did kind of look like Coach Harris. "You really want me in your movie?"

DJ nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah."

What do Revenge of the Nerds and Big River have in common? Don't know? Google it !

Please review if you think you know the answer.


	40. DJ

At school the next day, DJ sat at the same table he always sat at during lunch. Like always, Xavier joined him. Xavier was the only friend that shared a lunch shift with DJ.

"So you guys are back in your house?" Xavier asked just to make conversation.

"Yeah, my dad bought a big screen TV." DJ said, proudly.

"Sweet. Hey is your dad still mad about St. Louis?"

DJ looked up from his tray at his friend. He wondered that himself, it seemed like his dad was cutting him slack but he would not dare say that. "I'm not sure. Why?"

Xavier smiled. "I was thinking that we could hook up my new PlayStation to your TV."

DJ also smiled, that sounded like a fun idea. But of course he didn't know how the idea would fare with his dad. "Sounds cool, but my dad might get mad."

Xavier shook his head. "You're right. But did you ask him about playing our coach?"

"Yeah. He said he'd try."

"Cool."

When the class of the day ended DJ rode home with Xavier and Xavier's older brother who was a senior. DJ immediately felt envious of their house, it was a big house and a new one. They had such cool stuff. DJ helped Xavier unhook all the cords to the PlayStation from the TV in his room. DJ was even more jealous that Xavier _had _a TV in his room.

"Why don't you have a TV in your room?" Xavier asked, just curious.

DJ thought about it a minute. "I don't know. I just never thought about it before. My dad doesn't even have a TV in his room."

Xavier looked up at DJ from behind his TV. "Did he before the house was robbed?"

"No. I heard him and my mom fighting about it before. Mom shouted, "If we put a TV in our room I'd have to kill you so you'll finally go to sleep!" My dad shouted, "Can you do that tonight so I don't have to listen to you snore?" Then they fought about snoring." DJ started to feel sick to his stomach. He missed his mom.

Xavier noticed this, "You're mom and dad fight a lot?"

DJ stiffened up. "Yeah, but then they made up a lot too."

DJ and Xavier rode their bikes to 714 Delaware Street. There they found Darlene holding a sleeping Jerry in her arms with her feet on the new coffee table and watching TV.

Darlene took one look at her brother and spoke seriously. "Thought you were grounded, DJ."

DJ glared at his sister and took off his coat and put in on the pegs on the wall. "I am, but I don't think dad will care. Darlene this is Xavier."

Xavier looked at DJ and then Darlene. "Hi." He said, shyly to Darlene.

Darlene looked at her brother, "Hey DJ get me and your friend a soda."

DJ stood defiantly in front his sister, "I don't have to listen to you."

Darlene glared at her brother, "I'm pregnant."

DJ exclaimed with his hands. Xavier watched this show down and thought it was cool. DJ said, "And that's my fault?"

This infuriated Darlene. She took a crayon from the coffee table and launched it at her brother. DJ dodged the crayon and shot into the kitchen, taking three sodas from the fridge.

"Here!" DJ handed his sister a soda.

"Why thanks Deej."

DJ and Darlene locked eyes. Without blinking DJ asked, "Can me and Xavier please use the TV?"

Darlene said without blinking. "I'm not moving."

DJ looked at Xavier. "It's okay."

Xavier nodded and gently swung his back pack in front of him and carefully pulled out the PlayStation console and laid it gently down on the floor in front of the big screen TV and then DJ pulled out the AV cables and stuck them into the appropriate jacks. After some adjustments and an input change, the boys were playing _Grand Theft Auto_ on the first PlayStation.

Darlene still sat on the couch with the boys on the floor. Darlene eventually grew tired of watching the game play and stood up and walked the sleeping Jerry over to his play pen, and then went to the bathroom. With her gone the boys moved to the new couch, sitting in front of the Afghan that was laid on the old couch all those years.

The game went to a load screen and the boys took the opportunity to relax their hands. Xavier looked at DJ. "DJ I need to tell you something."

DJ sat back in a normal relaxed way. "Yeah what?"

"I love you." DJ stared at Xavier. An amount of shyness, uncomfortableness, panic, and awkwardness flooded DJ. There was a period of silence and Xavier's demeanor changed. Now the look on his face was a solemn and bashful. DJ had seen a look like that on his dads face many times, when his dad told his mom that he loved her.

DJ's mind raced with a hundred responses. He blurted out, "Want another soda?"

Xavier looked away from DJ, and spoke softly. "It's okay if you don't love me. I just really needed to tell you that…"

DJ didn't look at Xavier as he said. "I uh understand. I think my dad will be home soon."

Xavier nodded his head, got up off the couch slowly and started to unhook the PlayStation. DJ quickly joined him and Xavier was gone before Dan got home.

"Hi Deej." Dan said after coming through the back door into the kitchen.

DJ said nothing nor looked at his dad. Instead he absent mindedly went up the stairs and into his room. Dan watched this curiously, but brushed it off. He walked through the living and room and put his palm on Jerry's forehead. The small child was asleep and Dan wished he would wake up so that he wouldn't spend all night trying to put his son to sleep.

Darlene walked out of the bathroom. "Hi, dad."

Dan looked behind his back to Darlene, "Hey, Kiddo." Darlene gave her dad a look that said 'really?' and Dan shook his head. "Old habits die hard. You'll always be my daughter."

Darlene nodded once, and sat back down on the couch. Dan walked into the kitchen and then turned around quickly. "Oh yeah, you're not still a vegetarian are you?"

Darlene gave him the same look again and Dan snapped his fingers. "Right."

Up in his room, DJ's mind reeled. A few times in his life he questioned his own sexuality, but he always ended up being sure that he was straight. Now he seriously questioned it. He started to think about how he felt when he was around Xavier and all other guys. _I never felt like I was attracted to other guys, but maybe I was and he just didn't realize it. What if I am now? What will my sisters think, and Aunt Jackie? Or what will dad think? I like guy things though, could I still be gay? What if I'm not? How can I still make the movie with Xavier? Are other guys attracted to me like Xavier...? _DJ's mind stopped enough that DJ became aware there was a knock on his door.

It was his dad. "DJ? Dinner's been done for ten minutes…" DJ quickly got off his bed and opened the door. His dad must have sensed his panic because he said, "DJ are you okay?"

DJ stood a foot away from Dan and shook his head trying to change the look on his face. "I'm fine I just read a sad part of _Tom Sawyer." _DJ didn't expect his dad to ask,

"Oh yeah? What part is that?"

DJ squinted but answered quickly. "His dad was the body that was in the house on the river…" DJ lied. (In actuality it was _Huckleberry Finn's _dad who was the dead body in the house that was floating on the river, and that was a totally different book. Huckleberry Finn's dad is the part that John Goodman played in the Broadway adaption of Big River.)

Dan looked at DJ, but he had never read either Huckleberry Finn or Tom Sawyer so he believed DJ. The two ventured downstairs and into the kitchen, where Dan had a plate made for himself and DJ.

Dan sat at the head of the table and Dj sat next to him. Becky was also at the table, but DJ had no idea when she got home from work. "So how's your job at the Hardware store going dad?" Becky asked, scooping a clump of fettuccine on her plate.

Dan reached over for a napkin. "Great. If you like teen agers that don't listen to you."

Darlene flashed a smile. "Gee dad you think you'd be used to that by now."

Dan looked at Darlene. "Yeah, but even when they don't listen I _still_ have to pay _them."_

Becky smiled too. "This fettuccine is actually pretty good." She said before taking a bite.

Dan gave his oldest daughter a strange look. "What you expected it to be bad?"

Becky responded brightly after swallowing. "Well yeah."

Dan looked at DJ who was remaining quiet as he was still thinking about his Xavier situation. Then Dan looked at Darlene. "Are you saying that you don't think I can't cook?"

Both girls nodded at the same time. Darlene quipped, "Face it dad. We never expected you to be a good cook after tasting your chili."

Dan's mouth opened wide, and he leaned back in his chair. He put his hand on his heart and faked a heart attack. "Clean shot right in the heart."

Becky looked at the fettuccine. "Where'd you get this recipe anyway?"

Dan thought about his secret cookbook. "The Italians." He said and then took a bite.

Darlene looked at Becky. "You walked right in to that one…" As they talked, Dan looked at DJ who seemed to be acting rather strange.

"You've been really quiet."

DJ looked up at his dad. "I'm just tired."

Dinner finished and DJ cleared the table and did the table, like he was told to by his dad. When he was finished, he went upstairs and was not seen again the rest of the night.

Darlene called David and talked to him for about ten minutes. Unexpectedly, Jackie showed up with Andy.

"Hey Beck what did I tell you about leaving the door unlocked?" Dan asked, as Becky sat in the chair in front of the living room door. Jackie stuck her tongue out at Dan and Dan returned the favor. "What brings you here at this time of night?" Dan asked, Becky rolled her eyes and went downstairs.

Jackie put Andy down and fell backwards on to the couch. "You're mother in law."

Dan folded up his newspaper dramatically. "You rushed all the way over here to tell me that she's retiring to Boca, and we won't ever see her again in Lanford?" Dan said this with extreme sarcasm and total hopefulness.

Jackie stared at Dan seriously. "No. I talked to her today."

Dan gave Jackie a strange look. "Well I hope so considering she watched Andy all day."

Jackie ignored this and continued, "The subject of _day _care came up."

Dan sat in his chair yet readjusted how he was sitting. "Had that same talk with her. And I quote, 'Have you considered day care for Jerry?' I tried to tell you but you had a date with Booker."

Jackie smiled guiltily. "Well I did need to call him back…"

Dan smiled devilishly. "Believe me I will remember that…"

Jackie looked at her feet quickly. "I'm sure you will. I wonder why she's pushing for the boys to be in day care."

Dan gave Jackie a seriously? look. "She probably can't handle the boys by herself and doesn't want to admit it…"

Jackie pointed to the fridge and Dan nodded. She stood up and went to the fridge and grabbed two soda's handing one to Dan. She sat back down. "Well do you want to put Jerry in day care?"

Dan popped his tab and took a drink. "Do you want to put Andy in day care?"

Jackie cocked her head. "It's a different question with me. Andy is two and a half."

Dan looked at Jerry who was still asleep in his play pen. "Do they even have day care for babies his age?"

"Yes. They have day care for babies who are only six weeks old."

Dan stretched out looking up. "It'd be a lot of money…"

"I know. But if mom can't handle it then we should consider. Or at least _I _should because Darlene can watch Jerry."

Dan tapped his foot. "Yeah, but I don't like her watching Jerry by herself."

"Roseanne watched Becky when she was pregnant with Darlene…" Dan shot Jackie a mean look.

"That's exactly what Darlene said."

Andy walked up to Jackie and held his hands up so Jackie picked him up and pulled him onto her lap. "There's a good day care right down the street from the diner. That would take Andy and Jerry."

Dan ran his hand across his hair. "I'll put Jerry in if you put Andy in."

Jackie reached over and she and Dan shook hands. "Deal." They said in unison while Dan yawned.

"Hard day at work?"

Dan nodded still yawning. "Not hard. Mind-numbing. Dealing with those stupid kids today I found myself wishing I was doing dry wall again."

"That bad huh? Where's everyone sleeping?"

"DJ's sleeping in his room. Jerry is sleeping in his room. Becky is sleeping downstairs, and Darlene is sleeping in my room."

Jackie eyed Dan suspiciously. "Where are you sleeping?"

Dan said, coldly. "My Harley."

"Oh is that why you got the nice big comfy couch?"

Dan glared at Jackie. "Darlene doesn't need to be doing the stairs constantly. That's the only reason."


	41. DJ again

LIKE USUAL I ASK YOU TO PLEASE REVIEW

That morning, DJ was as quiet as he was at dinner time. Becky was making eggs, when Dan walked in. "How do you want your eggs, dad?"

Dan sat at the table. "I don't."

All of his kids looked at their dad. "Since when do you not like eggs?" Darlene asked.

Dan didn't want to answer. "Since I decided I didn't like eggs."

DJ looked at the clock. "I got to go. Bye." He said as he rushed passed Jerry in his chair.

Becky watched him. When he was gone, she said. "Is it just me or has he been acting weird lately?"

Darlene looked at her sister. "He's always weird." Dan had a sense of de ja vu again.

"Becky I'm not hungry. Thank you though." Dan said and took his lunch box and thermos from atop the fridge and started to fill both of them up. When he was done he waved to both his daughters and hugged his son and then was on his way.

"He seems happier these days." Becky said.

"Yeah, he looks happier."

The girls and Jerry ate and then Becky went to work. Darlene took Jerry into the living room and was playing with Jerry on the floor when she heard a noise like someone was walking around the house. She turned around slowly…

"DJ!"

"Hi, Darlene." DJ said knowing full well that he would have to buy Darlene's silence.

"Cutting school again? You know full well that didn't work out well last time…" Darlene said, handing Jerry a small foam ball.

DJ walked into the living room and in front of his sister. "Darlene I need to talk to you."

Darlene leaned back so that her back was to the bottom of the couch. "Oh yeah? You get suspended and failed to tell it to dad?"

DJ shook his head no quickly, "No it's not that. "

DJ went quiet and Darlene got annoyed quickly. "Then what is it Dee Jay?" She said, stretching out his name on purpose.

"Xavier told me he loved me." DJ said this fast to get out in the open.

Darlene went quiet but the when she talked it was like it was no big deal. "And you love him?"

DJ blushed and got mad. "No!"

Darlene laughed slightly. "Gee Deej, it's okay if you feel the same way. "

DJ stood up straighter with his fists balled up. "I'm not gay…"

Darlene cocked her head. "Okay you're not gay. No need to get so defensive."

DJ sighed and then moved his hands behind him and to the side so that his weight was supported by his hands. "Now, I'm afraid to see Xavier again."

Darlene laughed slightly. "DJ what are you afraid that he going to take you by the cheek and kiss you passionately?"

DJ stared at his sister disgustedly at the thought. "NO! I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Tell him how you feel. He'll understand and leave you alone."

DJ thought about this and realized that he still liked being Xavier's friend. "You won't tell dad I skipped today will you?"

Darlene shook her head and then DJ ran up to his room.

At work, Dan was walking down the plumbing aisle, looking for two missing employees, when he heard the phone ring. He answered it. "Four Aces Hardware. How can I help you?"

The woman spoke clearly and professionally. "I'm calling to speak to Mr. Dan Conner?"

Dan felt himself getting nervous. "Speaking."

"Hello, Mr. Conner. I am calling from Lanford High school. Your son DJ didn't show up for class today."

Dan put his hand on his forehead. "He didn't?"

"No. He didn't."

"Okay I'll talk to him. Can I ask how you got this number?"

"I called the Lanford Lunchbox; Ms. Harris gave me this number."

Dan listened. "Okay, bye."

"Bye." Dan hung up and sighed. DJ was getting worse and worse as he got older. When it came time for his lunch break, Dan drove home.

He found DJ and Jerry in the living room. DJ was playing Super Mario Brothers.

"So you're not going to school anymore?" Dan said standing under the arch between the living room and kitchen. DJ jumped, his dads voice had scared and caught him off guard.

DJ looked at his dad like a deer in headlights. "No. I just didn't want to go to school today."

Dan stared at his son. "Get your shoes on, you're going now." Dan said motioning with arms out towards the door. "Darlene!"

Dan heard Darlene from his room. "Yeah?"

"Do you need anything?"

Darlene shouted. "No."

Dan looked up at the ceiling and yelled. "Good. You should have told me DJ skipped today."

Darlene shouted. "Shoulda, coulda, woulda, didn't."

Dan nodded, and DJ sat on the couch rushing to put his shoes on. Dan quickly carried Jerry into his room with Darlene and then they left.

In the truck, DJ knew he was in trouble for skipping school, but he couldn't decide if he wanted to tell his dad or not about why he skipped school. Finally he decided he should.

"Dad there is a reason I didn't go to school today." DJ said, studying his dad's body language. He could easily tell Dan was mad. Dan looked at DJ.

"Yeah, you woke up and decided you weren't going." Dan felt his anger welling up and taking over his body. What made Dan mad was the fact that he had been cutting DJ slack since Roseanne died yet DJ was still causing trouble.

DJ shook his head, "No. That wasn't it. Dad my friend Xavier told me he loved him." DJ spoke regularly at first but found his voice trailing with nervousness.

Dan had both his hands on the steering wheel of his truck and his foot on the gas pedal. He froze a second, his mind only focusing on his driving. Dan tried to look his son in in the eyes, and he did but with great difficulty. Dan spoke softly, finding the anger leaving his body.

"And you love him too…?" Dan sounded curious and not at all disapproving or disappointed. This gave DJ relief.

DJ looked away from his dad out the window. "No, I don't think I do."

Dan sighed quietly. "You're afraid to see him?"

DJ nodded and looked back at his dad. "He told me it's okay if I don't feel the same way but I'm afraid to hurt his feelings. He's the best friend I ever had. I like him more than I liked Todd, or George or even Izzie Miller. And we're making this movie and…" DJ spoke, but Dan cut him off.

"And hooking up video games to my new TV…" Dan said all knowingly.

DJ looked at his dad. "How did you know about that?" Dan smiled weakly and said nothing. DJ continued, "Besides what if other kids find out how he feels about me?"

Dan stopped at a stop light, he considered running it for a split second but he was close to the police station. He reached over and touched his son's shoulder, forcing DJ to look at him. "Listen son. If _anyone _gives you crap about how your friends or anyone else _or you _feel about other people or yourself you have my permission to do whatever it takes to defend yourself. I don't care if that means you get expelled or suspended."

DJ looked at his dad and felt a sense of pride. "You really wouldn't care?"

Dan kept his hand on DJ's shoulder. "I wouldn't care as long as whatever you did was because you were getting crap and not just because you're using what I just said to justify getting into a fight." This Dan said sternly. "Do you understand?"

DJ nodded, and Dan drove again when the light turned green. DJ looked forward out the windshield. "Dad, did you ever get into a fight in high school?"

Dan smiled. "To be honest, Deej, I was in detention and the principal's office so much that the Coach benched me from the Homecoming game my sophomore year as a wakeup call."

Dan pulled into the schools parking lot and parked. Then he got out and walked to the front doors followed by DJ. They made their way to the principal's office. The woman to whom Dan spoke on the phone was sitting at a desk. "Did I speak to you on the phone?" Dan asked.

"Mr. Conner?"

"Yes, I'm here to drop off DJ."

"Okay just sign here." Dan signed where the lady pointed. Then he quickly waved and left the school without a word.

The women glared at DJ and DJ made his way to Algebra I. He was glad that he and Xavier did not have this class together. In ten minutes, the bell rang and the class rushed out of the room. DJ decided to take the long way to his next class and shuffled down the hall way.

He was right in front of the trophy case when Xavier caught up with him.

"Hey DJ!" Xavier jogged with his big backpack weighing him down.

"Hi, X."

Xavier stopped right in front of the trophy case and then looked inside the glass. "Hey is that your dad?" Xavier pointed at a football picture.

"Huh?" DJ turned around and looked at the picture. He leaned in and sure enough he spotted his dad in the back of the crowd of boys dressed in their pads and uniforms and holding their helmets. His dad looked to be the tallest boy on the team as he seemed to tower over at least eight different guys. One guy looked to be close to his size, but he was still shorter. DJ also noticed that his dad was sporting a roundish black mark around his eye. The picture was in black and white but DJ wondered if that was a black eye he received in a fight. "It sure looks like him. And he did graduate from here in 1970."

"Cool. Listen I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

DJ looked at his friend. "It's okay." From then on, DJ felt like he wasn't gay and was okay with being around Xavier.


	42. Insert Good Chapter Name Here

When everyone got home that night they all sat down at the table. Darlene made dinner today and so what she made was not exactly what the rest of the family had in mind.

"Uh Darlene? What is this?" Dan asked staring down at the unidentifiable substance on his plate. DJ, Becky did the same.

Darlene stood behind Dan with a bowl in her left hand and a fork in the other. Her thousand yard glare, posture, and presence reminding Dan of Roseanne so much it was scary. "It's tofu and Caesar salad."

Dan looked at his bowl of salad. "I know what the salad is but what is that?" Dan pointed at the tofu.

"I just said."

Becky looked at her sister. "God Darlene. This family is used to eating food that's unidentifiable. But at least we always knew what it was."

Now DJ took his turn. "Even the salad looks wrong."

Darlene looked at everybody. "So what I slaved in this kitchen for food you're not even going to eat?"

Becky and DJ looked at Darlene and said in unison as Dan watched. "Yeah."

Dan saw the color of Darlene's face turn red so he intervened. "Hey! Darlene made it so you're going to eat it." He said to Becky and DJ.

Becky glared at her dad. "Let's see you eat it."

Dan was in the spotlight as he looked down at his very unappetizing plate. He forced a neutral look on his face as he grabbed his fork, cut a piece of the edible substance and took a bite.

Dan couldn't think of a grosser tasting thing that he had ever ate and thought about this as he chewed. Finally he swallowed and then said, "Now let's see you eat." His actions were interrupted by David who came in through the back door.

He and Darlene hugged. "David what are you doing here?"

David held each of Darlene's hands and looked around at everybody. "Well I told Mr. Wellington about how Darlene was pregnant and how we were getting married on Sunday and he said that because someone scheduled this week off and then ended up working anyway, that I could have the rest of the week off as a wedding present." David sounded happy about this.

Dan stood up. "That's great David."

Becky looked at the happy couple. "So what are your plans for the wedding anyway?"

The couple glanced at Dan. "Well we were thinking that we could do what Jackie and Fred did. Have the wedding in the living room."

Dan looked at the living room. "Well why not?"

David looked at the table. "Ooh tofu?" David said this with a happy tone.

Dan and everyone else looked at David in awe. "Want some? Here have mine." Dan handed David his plate and David took it and sat down at the table and ate it like it was the best thing in the world.

"See David likes it." Darlene said as she sat next to David and ate hers.

Later, dinner was done and Jerry was asleep and Becky was in the shower, and DJ was up stairs and Darlene and David went out to the movies, which left Dan alone in peace and quiet. He sat at the chair in front of the fire place and thumbed through a car magazine.

He was reading an interesting story about new carburetors when there was a knock on the front door.

"Coming!" Dan said as he got up from the chair and walked across the living room. When he opened the door he found Leon. "Oh hi , Leon. Come on in."

Leon smiled and then came in the house as Dan stepped aside. "I like what you've done with the place, Dan."

Dan looked around. "Well that makes me feel good Leon. Come to make small talk?"

Leon took a seat on the couch. "No actually I came to give you this." Leon took a wad of cash from his shirt pocket with his right hand and handed it to Dan. "It's your pay check from the day you worked at the diner."

Dan looked at the wad and didn't bother to count it. "Thanks, but you didn't have to drive all the way here to give this to me."

Leon looked at Dan. "I know. I came here because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Dan leaned back in his chair. "Oh yeah what's that?"

Leon shifted uncomfortably. "Stephen and I have been talking about adopting a baby."

Dan listened. "Well that's great. You two would make great parents."

Leon looked ta his shoes. "I know it's just that. I've been thinking about being a father and it scares me."

Dan leaned forward. "Listen Leon. I've had four kids. And with every one of them I freaked out. I mean when I found out that Roseanne was pregnant with Darlene, I freaked out and took Becky fishing on Lake Michigan. It's natural." Dan said all this while he studied Leon's facial expressions.

Leon fall back into the couch and looked at his feet. "Well I just worry about raising children. I mean what if I do something wrong or they start hating me or Stephen? Or what if they like Stephen more than me?"

Dan held out his hand as Leon started to tremble with worry. Frankly he was sort of starting to be freaked out by Leon. Although that wasn't uncommon for Dan. "Leon! I hate to tell you but there will be at least one time when your kids hate you. And sometimes your kids will like one parent more than the other. Darlene was always closer to me than Roseanne, and Becky was always closer to Roseanne than she was to me. You just got to learn to realize that that doesn't mean your kids don't love you."

Leon looked at Dan analytically. "What about DJ?"

Dan looked at Leon confused. "What _about _DJ?"

"Was he closer to you or Roseanne?"

Dan looked up for a minute as he thought about it. "I don't really know."

Becky came out of the bathroom dressed in a red robe with her hair up in a towel and dripping wet. Leon jumped up from the couch and looked away instantly. "Uh I got to go bye!" Leon then pulled open the door and ran out. Dan and Becky watched him.

Without even looking at her, Dan said, "Becky? Is it too much to ask that you start getting dressed in the bathroom?"

Becky looked at her dad. "Is it too much to ask that you fix the shower in the basement?" She asked snarky.

Now Dan looked at Becky. "Yes it is." Dan said matching his daughter's attitude.


	43. All Out Blow Out Conner Style

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW

The next day, Darlene and David found themselves at the house alone with both Jerry and Andy. Earlier that morning Jackie had called wanting to know if they would babysit Andy since Bev apparently forgot to tell her that she had a doctor's appointment that day and couldn't watch Andy.

Darlene had begun going stir crazy from being in the house so much that she decided she was leaving the house. David was concerned about this.

"Darlene, we went out to the movies last night." David said holding Jerry, with Andy trailing behind him.

Darlene paid no attention to David, as she pulled out a pair of socks from the drawer that her dad had cleared out of one of the dressers in his room. "David I don't go to work. I don't go to school. I need to get out of here."

David put his hand on Darlene's shoulder, trying to be gentle. "Darlene we went to the movies last night." He said softly.

Darlene brushed his hand off her shoulder. "I know that David." She said in a sing song way.

David sighed and then fell on Dan/Darlene's bed. Andy climbed up with him and Jerry crawled in the middle and started to play around with the pillows. "You know if I had the ability to carry our baby for you, I would."

Darlene turned around gracefully yet filled with rage. "See David _this _is why I came back here." Then she picked up Jerry off the bed and trudged out of the room and into the living room.

David quickly closed the dresser drawer that she left opened and followed her. Andy jumped off the bed and followed him. David walked in the living room and found Darlene sitting on the ottoman putting her socks on.

"Darlene what does that mean? You want me to give you some space?" David managed to keep his caring voice.

Darlene looked up at him. "YES!"

Andy ran to the other end of the coffee table and grabbed a crayon and then ran to the wall. David saw this and ran and caught up with him and then took the crayon from his hand.

"No Andy!" Andy looked at him.

"NO DAVEY!" Andy shouted back trying to take the crayon back. David  
held a tight grip on the scarlet Crayola, as Andy used both of his hands to try to pry David's fingers out of a fist.

Darlene watched this. "Andy go sit in time out!"

Andy turned his head to see Darlene. "No you!"

Darlene responded to this by standing up with great difficulty and putting one foot forward. Andy got scared and ran to the chair by the phone in the kitchen. Darlene looked at David. "Stop taking your anger out on my cousin."

David stared at Darlene. "I'm not! You want him to draw on the walls?"

Darlene stared back and then scoffed and threw her shoes back on the floor. "Just leave, David."

David looked at the door and then at Darlene and the boys. Then he grabbed his coat, checked to make sure he had his keys, and then left.

Darlene looked at Andy. "Are you going to be nice now, Andy?"

At the diner Jackie was cooking the loose meat when Chucky, Booker, George and a stranger came in for Lunch. They all took a seat at the counter. Booker leaned forward, smiling wide.

"Hiiiii Jackieeeee." He said flirtatiously while also playing around.

"Hi, Booker." Jackie said flatly.

The three other men looked at Jackie and then Booker. The new man spoke to Chucky. "They together?" He asked quietly.

Jackie looked at the new man. "We are, I think. Who is this?" She asked, pointing to the new man and asking the other three men.

Booker pointed at Jackie and stifled a chuckle. "Jackie Harris. This is Jack Connor. No relation to Dan. It's spelled with an 'O R'."

Jackie cocked her head and then wiped her hand on her apron and held out her hand for a hand shake. "Hi."

Jack Connor shook her hand. "Hi. So you're the sister in law of the man I replaced?"

Jackie scrunched up her face. "Actually I think I'm the sister in law of the man who was the father in law of the man you replaced."

Jack Connor thought about this a minute. "I'm lost."

Booker got the sense that he was flirting with Jackie, but Chucky talked while the somewhat couple made lovey dove eyes at each other. "Her sister was Dan Conner's wife."

David walked in the diner. He was looking down at his feet and walking slow. It was obvious to everyone that something was wrong as he sat down at a table by himself.

Jackie excused herself and made her way to his table. She sat down across from him and leaned forward putting her hand on his hand. "David what's wrong?"

David had the look of someone who had been crying. "Nothing." David lied, obviously. Jackie eyed David suspiciously. David knew that she knew that he was lying so he added, "Darlene wanted to take the boys and get out of the house. Somehow we got into a fight and then she put Andy into timeout and then kicked me out of the house." David said in a heartbroken kind of way.

Jackie watched David's eyes start to fill with tears. "David, David, David. She's just suffering from pregnancy hormones. She doesn't mean anything."

David had his arms on the table with his elbows spread out far and his head laid down on his arms. David looked up at Jackie. "You really think so?"

Jackie nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yeah I do. I can't count the number of times Mr. Conner was locked out of his own house when Mrs. Conner was pregnant. "

David perked up and started to look happier. He smiled slightly, "Thanks Jackie. Can I have a sandwich?"

Jackie stood up from the table. "Of course you can. It's on the house."

As Jackie rounded the counter, Dan came in the restaurant with the look of a man intent on murder. The Drywall guys stared at him as he took the last stool at the end of the counter oblivious to the fact that everyone was staring at him.

Finally he looked at Jackie. "Do you have a gun I can borrow?" Jackie looked from Dan and then to the drywallers and back to Dan. Dan gave her an odd look and then understood. He looked at Chucky, Booker, Jack Connor, and George and changed his demeanor to look pleasant and happy. "Hi. Who is this?"

Chucky looked at Dan and then Jack Connor. "Dan, this is Jack Connor. Mark's replacement. Jack, meet Dan."

Dan and Jack Conner shook hands. "Conner?" Jack asked.

"Yeah. Weird." Dan looked at all of his friends. "So Booker, you come back to Lanford and date Jackie and take my place at the job sight."

Booker laughed. "Yeah, well I thought to myself If Dan can do drywall so can I."

Dan smiled. "That's how I feel about managing employees who don't do anything. Hey where is Becky?"

"Back here dad!" Becky called from the kitchen.

Jackie smiled slightly. She felt kind of happy that Dan was referring to Roseanne. Booker laughed, "Well drywall is certainly a new experience for me."

Chucky looked at Booker. "It won't be in about a week."

George nodded. "You got that right."

Booker looked at Jack Connor. "Gee they make it sound so exciting." Booker said with Jack agreeing.

Jack looked at Dan. "Why did you quit the job?"

All the men and Jackie moaned, "Uh…"

Dan noticed that everyone was starting to feel uncomfortable. "It's okay. I quit because my new job has better hours, and I need a job that I know will be steady."

The men nodded, and Jackie tapped Dan's shoulder and then pointed at David. Dan looked behind his shoulder at David and then stood up and made his way to David. "Hi, David." He said as he sat across from David in the same place that Jackie had sat down.

"Hi, Mr. Conner." David said not making eye contact with Dan. Dan responded to that by bending forward to force him to make eye contact.

"David? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I talked about with Jackie." David tried to conceal his sadness.

"Darlene kicked you out didn't she?" Dan said knowingly.

David nodded. "Yeah."

Dan put his hand on David's hand. "David. Trust me that happens all the time. I used to feel bad when that happened because I thought I did something wrong. Then I got wise and started to think well she told me to get out so that means I don't have to do anything around the house."

Chucky heard this and joined in on their conversation from the counter. "He used to hide out at my house." Dan smiled, and pointed his thumb at him mouthing See?

"Yeah and then Ann Marie kicked him out too." Jackie said, eyeing Dan.

Dan looked at Jackie. Then Chuck looked at Jackie. "With good reason too." Chuck said.

"Yeah alcohol was involved." Dan joked raising his voice then Dan turned his attention back on David. "You haven't heard from Mark have you?" He asked, concerned and quieter.

David shook his head. "No I haven't." David said, somewhat concerned too.

Jackie put a plate with a loose meat sandwich in front of the guys at the counter and then called to Dan. "You want your usual, Dan?"

Dan called back to Jackie. "No. Thanks. I'm not hungry." Jackie gave Dan a strange look that he knew he was getting because Jackie was concerned that he never eats. "Fine I'll have a bag of chips."

Jackie nodded and then launched a bag of BBQ Lays at Dan. Dan caught them and opened them up and ate one. David looked at Dan strangely; normally he wasn't that friendly with David. When he was done eating the chips, Dan pulled out a pen and then took a sticky note from underneath the counter by the phone and wrote something down. When he was doing this he handed the sticky note to David.

"David, there is no way Darlene will let you back in the house right now. So I have a job for you. Take this list of things to my work; find this really annoying boy about your age. You'll know him when you see him he's really scary. Just insist that he helps you find each and every miniscule object on this list."

David held out the list in his hand and then read it. One thing he just now noticed was that Dan had pretty good handwriting for a guy. Aside from that he had no clue what these things were.

"Do you want me to buy these, Mr. Conner?"

Dan looked at David. "No I don't. That's the best part." Dan looked at his watch and then decided it was time for him to go.

"Well people it's been great talking to you. Welcome back, Booker. It was nice meeting you Jack. See you later Jackie." Dan said like a Shakespeare actor on stage and left the restaurant right before handing Jackie a dollar 50 and then opening the kitchen door and saying goodbye too Becky.

After he left, everyone looked at each other. Jack looked at Chuck and George. "Is he always like that?"

Chuck and George looked at each other. "Well no, not exactly."

Jack looked around. "I'll bet he would be fun to go out drinking with."

"Uh, no. He doesn't do that anymore." Chuck said looking at Jackie.

Jackie saw the plea for help from Chuck. "He does play poker and go bowling though."

Later that night, Dan got home from work and his meeting to find an all-out blow out between all of his kids and David. Andy was there too.

"How could you let him into this house?!" Becky screamed at Darlene, who was sitting down in the chair in front of the fake fireplace.

Darlene kept her cool. "He came by looking for you and when he saw that I had the boys by myself he offered to help me out. SOMEONE left me all by myself." She shouted the last part glaring directly at David.

David went in the defensive. "YOU kicked me out!"

Becky looked at David. "And you left? She's pregnant!"

David pointed at DJ. "He didn't come home after school like he was supposed too!"

DJ looked at each of his sisters and David. "I had AV club!"

Becky returned her attention to Darlene. "You never answered my question!"

Darlene glared at her sister, "That's because it's my business!"

All of his kids screamed at the top of their lungs completely oblivious to the fact that Dan was standing in front of the door way with his coat still on just watching them.

They all continued their yelling and interrupting each other, still oblivious to their Dad.

Dan watched them all and then yelled himself. Louder than everyone. His yell could have set off a seismograph. "HEY! Everyone sit down. First of all, Darlene is pregnant so its not a good idea for her to ."

Finally his kids noticed him. They all went immediately quiet and did as they were told, David, DJ, and Becky sat on the new couch, Darlene remained sitting where she was and Jerry and Andy sat down and looked frightened by Dan's yelling.

Dan went to the small children and gave them both a hug and to tell them they weren't in trouble. Then he focused back on his older kids.

"Anyone want to let me in on what's going on?" Dan asked, just a little bit calmer than before. All the kids began to talk at once. He pointed at Darlene. "Darlene."

Becky looked at Darlene and then at her dad. "Oh sure. Pick her."

Dan cocked his head and stared at Becky. "What's _that _supposed to mean?"

Becky maintained her anger level. "Come on dad, Darlene is your favorite and you know it."

Dan stared silently at Becky for three seconds. "What makes you say that?" He said, calmly, neutrally.

Becky remained sitting but crossed her arms. "You didn't talk to me for a month after I married Mark, and now when Darlene is pregnant you're perfectly okay with that."

Dan looked at Becky. He fought to control his anger but he was losing that. "You stood in that kitchen and blamed me for everything wrong with your life and then left us when your mom and I had no jobs, Becky. Yes I gave you the silent treatment. That was wrong; I admit it and I apologize."

Becky continued glaring daggers at her dad. "That doesn't change the fact that Darlene is your favorite."

Dan broke his stare and looked at Darlene and then DJ. "You don't think that Darlene is my favorite do you?" He asked, DJ.

DJ looked at his dad and then Darlene and Becky. "You seem to act like it."

Dan loosened up. Knowing that his kids would see him he closed his eyes and counted to ten. Once he hit ten he opened his eyes back up. "I love all of you equally. I always have. Now, stop trying to change the subject. Becky please tell me why you are all fighting."

Becky glared at her dad and then glared at Darlene. "I got home to find Mark here. She invited him to the wedding!"

Dan looked at David and then Becky. "Mark is David's brother. I don't see why he can't attend the wedding."

Becky shook her head, stood up and threw a fit. "No one in this family cares that I'm going through a divorce!" Then she stormed off into the basement.

Dan buried his head in his right hand. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and then spoke again, "DJ this morning I told you I wanted you to come home right after school."

DJ looked up at his dad. "I had AV club."

Dan cocked his head to look at his oldest son. "I know, you told me this morning. I still wanted you home right after school."

"Dad!" DJ yelled.

"Go to your room, DJ!"

DJ mumbled something unintelligible and then stormed up stairs. David and Darlene were left. Darlene was just staring at her dad. Dan stared back. "Well you two were unnaturally quiet during all this."

Darlene finally spoke. "Nothing to say."

"Oh my god, miracles do happen. Why'd you kick him out of the house? I told you I didn't like you taking care of the boys by yourself."

Darlene eyed her dad suspiciously. "Why are you trying to hide your depression?"

Dan looked down at Darlene. "No, no, no, Darlene. I'm not falling for that twice. Answer my question."

Darlene looked at David, yet said nothing. Dan turned around and faced David who was on the couch still. "David just for the sake of my sanity. Please don't leave Darlene alone with the boys again."

Now Darlene spoke. "You didn't get mad at him earlier."

Dan sighed. "I was mad at him for like a minute. But me getting pissed and throwing a fit over David would have been useless. Besides I knew you wouldn't let him in."


	44. Silence speaks Volumes

Does anyone else but me hear the real characters voices in my head when they read this?

The fight was over and Dan was left alone in the living room with Andy and Jerry who had been quietly playing with blocks through all the drama. Dan bent down and sat on the floor helping Jerry help Andy with building a house out of the wooden rectangles, triangles, and squares.

As he did this he realized how smart Andy was.

"We need door uh here." Andy told Dan pointing to the back of their small little structure.

Dan smiled and then looked at Jerry. "What do you think, Jerry? Does there need to be a wall there?"

Jerry looked at his dad. "Yeah!" He said enthusiastically. Dan questioned this. Jerry's vocabulary wasn't as vast as Andy's which was okay because Andy was older, but Jerry only seemed to know 'Yeah', 'No', 'Daddy', 'Milk', 'Jell-O', 'Dinesoar', 'TV', 'Barney', 'Conner', 'Blocks', 'Bears', 'Cubs', 'Bulls', 'Dog', 'Cat', 'Grass', 'Work', 'Kitchen', and the dreaded F , S, and B word's along with variations of everyone's name. Dan worried that with the loss of Roseanne Jerry would somehow fall behind in his age group. Although, if Jerry would be put in daycare he could be helped if he did fall behind.

As Dan thought about this and mindlessly played with the boys, Jackie came in. She seemed excited about something as she talked while taking off her coat and then sitting on the floor across from Dan and in between Jerry and Andy.

"You would not believe what happened today." Dan stared at Jackie. He wasn't in the mood for guessing games right now. Jackie got the idea and just said it. "You know how there's that small farm off the back road of Route 9?" Dan nodded yes and Jackie continued. "Well apparently, the couple that lived there was illegally breeding labs there. Well the Lanford police department seized the animals…" Jackie stopped mid-sentence as Dan was giving her his look of 'and your point is?' "What?" She asked.

"People were breeding dogs illegally and that's a good thing?" Dan asked.

Jackie cocked her head. "No. the good thing was that the cops took their lunch break at the diner. We racked up over three hundred dollars with them alone, Plus a twenty dollar tip for everyone."

"Ah." Dan said, not too happy. "Well your day was certainly better than mine."

Jackie looked at Dan. "Why what happened?"

Dan put a block on the little house. "My kids decided they hate me. I got home today and they were in a screaming match because Mark stopped by after Darlene kicked David out and then Darlene told Mark that he could go to the wedding which pissed off Becky. Then when I try to figure out what's going on I ask Darlene and then Becky claims that Darlene is my favorite and DJ agrees with her. Then after Becky storms downstairs, Darlene grills me on why I'm trying to hide my depression. "Jackie said nothing but then just sat there watching Dan. When he stopped, Jackie asked,

"_Is _Darlene your favorite?" Dan stared at her blankly saying nothing. "Okay, okay, I shouldn't have asked you that. Your kids haven't lived under the same roof continuously in almost five years. They're bound to fight."

Dan held up his hands. "Yeah _each other _not _me. _I stood there and had my head handed to me. It's bad enough that Darlene was with the boys alone, and then DJ didn't get home right after school like he was supposed to so now he hates me because he's grounded for real now."

"I was surprised that you didn't get upset about David leaving Darlene alone today." Jackie said, conversationally.

"Believe me I was. But I swallowed my anger knowing that for now on when something happens I have to accept it and live my life otherwise I'll screw up my relationship with my kids. I can't go punching holes in that wall anymore. I sick of repairing it." Dan said pointing to the wall behind the couch which was the wall that he punched a hole through after David confessed to living with Darlene in Chicago.

Jackie moved her head. "You've obviously thought about this."

Dan lifted off his knees and stood up. "Not the only thing too. I need to talk to my dad but I don't know what to say. I haven't talked to him in two years."

Jackie leaned back. "Why?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "I don't know. I guess that after I found out about my mom and we made up with each other, I just got the sense that I should stay away you know. When he visited me that one time and we talked I started to feel guilty again. Plus, I feel bad about my mom being where she is when she could be somewhere else."

Jackie raised her right hand in a natural way. "You told your dad to take the money that he was going to give you and give it to your mom."

Dan shook his head. "Your right. I did. I still feel like we could be doing better things for my mom."

"We?" Jackie asked wondering why Dan phrased it that way.

Dan looked at Jackie and then jumped on the couch and lay down with his feet on the end to make a point. "Okay doc."

Jackie stood up and then went to the couch and stared right in Dan's face. "I'm sorry. I forgot you hate talking about your mom."

"Thank you." Dan said and sat back up right on the couch.

Jackie sat next to Dan. "Anything you say to your dad is better than not saying anything to him at all you know."

Dan looked up in the air. "Okay what about my kids?"

Jackie looked up in the air at the ceiling. "Let them cool down. Apologize. You'll be fine. You kids have hated you before and stopped. Until now, of course."

Dan looked at Jackie. "What if they only stopped hating me because of Roseanne?"

Jackie sighed. "What if they only stopped hating Roseanne because of you?"

Dan stared at Jackie confused. "What do you mean?"

Jackie held up her hands. "You are a great father, Dan. You've been through a lot and your kids love you as much as you love them."

Dan looked up at the ceiling. "My God Jackie, you and I have entered a whole new relationship."

Jackie smiled. "Is that a bad thing?" Jackie knew that she embarrassed Dan, because he twisted his wedding ring around his finger. Before the accident Dan had never messed with his ring for any reason. Now he developed that habit as if it he had it for as long as he was wearing a ring.

"No. It's not." Dan said shyly and then stood up from the couch. He went to the fridge and pulled out a Coke. "You want one?" He asked, Jackie.

"No." Jackie said.

Dan said nothing but took the can and then sat down on the chair in front of the fake fire place. Dan was obviously embarrassed. Jackie could see his cheeks turning red. They sat silently for a few seconds and the Dan spoke. "Listen, I have an appointment with my doctor scheduled for after work tomorrow. Do you know if your mom is going to watch Andy tomorrow?"

"She's supposed to."

"I was just asking because I was going to see if you could stop by here after work, just to see what's going on." Dan said in a low voice, still embarrassed and trying to hide it.

"Sure."

For dinner, Dan made fish sticks, mac and cheese, and steamed broccoli. He could have made a way better dinner three ways but he was trying to show that he respected Darlene's vegetarian lifestyle.

As all of the Conner's (I include David in that. In the episode Punch and Jimmy Dan tells David "You're a Conner now! Abandon all hope!") sat at the table, Dan realized in record time that not a single one of the kids was talking to him except of course Jerry.

"Darlene can you please pass the ketchup?" Dan asked in an overly annoying and way too nice way.

Darlene said nothing but took the bottle and launched it at her dad. She hadn't played baseball in years but she still had the moves. Dan caught the bottle perfectly.

"Eight years later and you still pitch like Babe Ruth. I wonder if you still hit like him too." Dan was hurt by the silent treatment he was getting, but he refused to show it. Not because he was afraid of losing the "real battle for power" over his kids but because he knew if he didn't do something, nothing would be done to end the war going on in the house and that would screw up the wedding. Plus he found himself feeling like Roseanne. We all know how she acted when her kids gave her the silent treatment. (If not see season 2 episode No Talking on YouTube)

Dan heard crickets with his attention on Darlene so he refocused on Becky. "So how's your job going at the diner?" Becky only looked at her Dad holding a fork with a bite of Mac and Cheese on it. Like Darlene she said nothing and only glared daggers at him. Dan refused to back down, now he brought out the heavy guns. He pointed at Becky. "Okay I get it. You are mad at me because you think I like Darlene more than you." He pointed at Darlene. "You are mad at me because you thought I should have read David the riot act and you don't like that nothing in my life makes me happy anymore. Well I don't like that either and believe me I'm working on it." He pointed at David. "I can only guess why _you're_ mad at me. I think it's because I used you to exact revenge on my employees and that caused you to get yelled at Darlene for coming back so quick." Now he focused on DJ. "You're mad at me because I'm your father. Your my son, and for once one of my kids has taken after me and getting into all sorts of trouble. That whole thing with Xavier was something that I respect you for. We talked about that. But you were still in trouble for St. Louis way before that ever happened and I asked you specifically this morning to come home right after school and you didn't. I was cutting you slack DJ. I let you go to the movies and I said that you can still make your movie, but you took advantage of that. You disappointed me DJ." DJ also did nothing but stare at his dad.

Dan leaned back in his wooden chair. "Not a word from any of you?"

"Daddy!" Jerry shouted. Everyone looked at Jerry who was sitting in his high chair next to Dan and Becky.

They all stopped looking at Jerry and then ate quietly, one by one getting up from their seats and putting their plates, forks, and cups in the sink. DJ was the last of the kids to finish. He put his plate in the sink and started to walk away.

"DJ it's your turn to do the dishes."

DJ turned around and glared at his dad without a word but then went to the sink and started the dishes.

Dan sat there a minute helping Jerry finish his plate and then took Jerry out of the high chair and put their plates on the counter next to the sink. "Thank you son." Dan said as he and Jerry walked out of the kitchen.

In the morning Dan woke up too everyone in the house eating oatmeal. He looked at the clock and realized that he woke up twenty minutes late. He walked into the kitchen waiting to be asked if he wants breakfast. But he didn't get asked, so he skipped breakfast and took a shower.

When he got out and got dressed, he filled up his blue thermos and blue lunch box said good bye to Jerry and left. He felt bad about not speaking to his kids; after all he should have told them that he had a doctor's appointment, and that he could re cancel if they wanted him too, but he knew that such a conversation would fall on deaf ears. So he drove to work praying that this feud, this vendetta, this Sicilian thing must end.

R.I.P Stan "The Man" Musial. You will be missed.

(To my readers who are not naturally from the United States. Stan was a very famous and record breaking baseball player for the St. Louis Cardinals who played his entire professional career with the Cardinals.)


	45. The Wrath of Jackie

When Dan's lunch hour came around he ixnayed, his trip to the diner and stayed and ate lunch in the break room that sat at the back of the store. All around the room lockers lined the walls. Dan knew that some employees used them although he did not.

Rocko joined him at the lunch table and pulled out a foldable chair and sat down. He and Dan hadn't spoken much lately.

"So Dan. What's new in your life?" Rocko asked enthusiastically.

Dan looked up from his ham sandwich. "Not much really." Dan lied. All he could think about all day was the fact that none of his kids who could talk full sentences were talking to him.

Rocko studied Dan. "Did you hear about that puppy mill off Route 9?"

Dan nodded. "Yeah I did."

Rocko saw that Dan wasn't in a talking mood so he did all the talking. "Well I heard that they're putting all of those puppies up for adoption. The wife and I are thinking about getting one. Labs are good dogs you know." Dan didn't really say anything just nodded his head to show that he was paying attention. Finally he finished his sandwich and ate his plain carrots.

"Hey I got to. See you later Rocko."

After work Dan skipped his meeting and drove to Fulton County Hospital. When he made his way to the Psychiatric ward, Dr. John was waiting for him and they walked to the doctor's office.

Dan sat down in the chair across from Dr. John who sat at his desk. Dr. John pulled open a drawer in his desk and took out a couple of forms that were paper clipped together.

"So how have you been lately?" Dr. John asked, rather friendly while also sounding professional.

Dan tried to relax. He felt nervous for some reason. "Alright I guess." Dr. John saw through Dan's lies.

"Listen you're here so I can help you. You don't need to lie to me."

Dan looked down at his feet and cupped his hands together in his lap. "I know. I got so much going on now that I just have been having a hard time with stuff."

Dr. John looked at Dan directly in the eyes. "Can you elaborate on that?"

Dan looked up at his doctor. "All of my kids are living with me. I mean I try to find stuff that makes me happy and try to _be _happy but I can't."

"You haven't been eating or sleeping much either, right?"

Dan nodded. "Yeah, I just don't feel hungry much. I have been eating though. I figure as long as I'm not going to enjoy any food I might as well start to eat healthy."

Dr. John smiled weakly. "Hey I wish some of my other patients would be like that. What have you been eating?"

"Carrots. Grapes. Things like that."

"Ah well those are good choices. Any reason you're having trouble sleeping? Nightmares? Just can't fall asleep?"

"No I fall asleep but I always wake up like thirty minutes later."

Dr. John studied Dan again. "You're daughter Darlene and David get married yet?"

Dan shook his head. "No. They have the wedding planned for Sunday but it looks like there won't be a wedding at all."

"Oh? What do you mean by that?"

Dan looked back down trying to summarize his words into something that would actually make sense to Dr. John, "Well my kids got into a fight yesterday and now they are all mad at me and I'm getting the silent treatment now. Two of them claim that the other is my favorite. My son is mad at me for virtually the same reasons that I was always mad at my dad, except I don't have a habit of leaving my family every chance I get. Darlene is mad at me because she says I'm never happy."

Dr. John stayed quiet for a minute then he spoke. "What about DJ upset you? It seemed like that bothered you more than everything else you said."

"Really?" Dan asked, curious that Dr. John got that from his body language.

"Yeah," The doctor said.

Dan looked back up at his doctor. He spoke lowly, sadly. "Well I guess the biggest thing I've been afraid of is having the same relationship with my sons that I have with my dad. I think about all those years that I hated my dad's guts and I just pray that DJ or even Jerry don't start to feel like that with me. I mean I've always been able to tell myself that no matter what happens to me as a father or what I do as a father that at least I'm a better father than my dad. That all changed when I learned the truth about my mom."

Dr. John sat still not moving the pen that was in his hand. "That's a natural fear."

Dan took a quick glance out of the window and then returned his gaze to Dr. John. "That's what Roseanne said to me once. She said that she had a similar fear about the girls."

Dr. John leaned back. "Do you still hear her?"

"Pardon me?" Dan said despite hearing him clearly the first time.

"Roseanne. You told me that you heard her in the house before you came back here. Do you still here her?"

Dan thought about the conversation he had with his kids back when they were still talking to him. "My kids think they hear her too."

Dr. John's eyes moved up and down studying Dan's build. He had lost even more weight. "That's also a natural thing. It's a coping mechanism."

Dan looked back at his lap. "Coping. Sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of that. I mean I try so hard to just go into my garage and fix something but I can't. All I can do is talk to my kids, go to work, come home, try to stay in good terms with my kids, take care of Jerry and try to eat."

"I know you said that you like fixing and building things. You like working with your hands. What else do you know that always made you happy?"

Dan rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, doing stuff with my kids. Like the little stuff. Me and Darlene we used to play one on one basketball and watch games on TV. Me and DJ would play checkers and I'd help him with his homework and I'd watch games with him too. And me and Becky we weren't as close but she'd ask me to take her to her friend Diane's or the library and we'd play around with the radio in my truck on the way. You know those are some of my favorite memories."

"Those memories. They're small. It was something that you did a lot. But I noticed that all those memories are lacking Roseanne."

"Well Roseanne didn't like sports. Usually if there was a game on she'd do something with Jackie. And I usually took the kids places so that she didn't have too or because they were on my way."

"Ah. Makes sense. Time is almost up. Is there anything you want to talk about in the last few minutes?"

Dan looked up at the clock. The doctor was up. There was only 15 minutes left in the session. "Can you give me any advice on my kids? The silent treatment really hurts."

"Well, when you were here you learned to work through problems by talking. Take them one by one and just apologize. If you still can't get them to talk to you, keep talking. Show them that you don't care about the silent treatment."

At the house Jackie came in to find DJ playing his Nintendo 64, Becky in the kitchen with Jerry and Darlene sitting in the chair in front of the fake fireplace reading a magazine.

"Where's David?" Jackie asked, as he was the only missing.

Darlene looked up at Jackie. "Who cares?" She scoffed.

"Are you talking yet?" She said putting Andy down on the floor and then sitting next to DJ on the couch.

Darlene put her magazine down. "Let's see Aunt Jackie. Are you talking about me and David or me and my dad?"

Jackie had been smiling but she stopped. "Either one." '

"Then the answer is no."

Jackie sat there awkwardly. Finally she couldn't stand that anymore and spoke even though she knew it would cause Darlene to get annoyed and pissed. "Listen Darlene. Your dad is really sorry for what he did. You shouldn't be mad at him because he's depressed."

Darlene looked up from her magazine but still held the magazine in front of her at her eye level. "He's not even trying to get better. And that's not my problem. My problem is that he didn't yell at David for leaving me."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Darlene, Dan I mean your dad, knew that you wouldn't let David back in the house anyway."

Darlene went back to reading her magazine. "Whatever."

Jackie sighed and made her way to the kitchen. She sat down at the table next to Becky who was feeding Jerry in his high chair.

"Hi, Becky."

"Hi. Aunt Jackie. No me and my dad aren't talking." Jackie looked at her niece blankly. "You really think I couldn't hear you talking from the kitchen?"

Jackie leaned forward with her hands waving in the air. "You don't think that you're hurting your dad by not talking to him? He loves all of you the same."

Becky gave Jackie the same look that Darlene gave Jackie. "That is not the same as playing favorites."

"_Playing favorites? _How has your dad ever played favorites? You left the house and then he let you and your husband live in the house and gave your husband two jobs."

Becky stared cold heartedly at Jackie. "He let David move in. And he let David move back in even after he found out that he was living with Darlene in Chicago. He didn't even care that we were getting a divorce."

"Becky. You're dad cares about you and he loves you. Stop treating him like crap. You seem to blame him for everything."

Becky kept up her stare. "That's because he's too _blame _everything."

Jackie gave up and then went back into the living room. "DJ follow me." She commanded sternly.

DJ put his controller down and followed Jackie into Dan/Darlene's room. "Do you really expect that acting like a three year old will get you you're way, DJ?"

DJ glared at his aunt. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jackie stood firmly in front of DJ. "You ran off to St. Louis without your dad's permission. He cut you slack for that because of your mother. Then you cut school, and then when you got off easy for that you don't come home from school early when you were asked. You're mad because you don't think you should be in trouble for disrespecting your dad. You should thank God that your dad doesn't believe in beating kids like your grandpa because you wouldn't be standing if you acted like that with your grandpa."

DJ stood there frightened. Just the fact that Jackie put him in place was a wake-up call. Suddenly DJ started to sweat and feel guilty. "I'm sorry!" He said trembling.

"Don't tell me. You're silent treatment isn't hurting _my_ feelings."

DJ nodded. "Okay."

Jackie said nothing but left the room and went back to into the living room.

She stood by the door and called, "Becky bring Jerry and come here!"

Becky reluctantly and with attitude did as she told. Once he was out of his high chair Jerry ran to Andy and the two chattered to one another. DJ came into the living room too and sat down on the armrest of the couch. "I am not going to watch you treat your father like crap. Darlene you are getting married _on SUNDAY!_ Do you really want all this drama before your wedding? Your father wants all of you to be happy. Of all of us your dad's life had changed the most. He quit drinking; he's going to be a single parent for the next 18 to twenty years. He is trying to be happy. Cut him slack will ya? God knows he's cut you all plenty of slack."

All of the kids watched Jackie. She stood there but when she got no response she took Andy and left. The group broke up and later David came home.

Darlene took him and talked to him in the master bedroom. "I've been thinking David, and I want to say I'm sorry. It just seems like you never give me any space." Darlene said, sincerely.

David sat next to Darlene on the bed. 'You're right. I do get to…attached. I just worry that something bad will happen."

Darlene put her hand on David's hand. "I love you for that. But can you please give me some space? I promise I'll tell you if anything is wrong."

"Okay Darlene."

Eh, can't decide how to end this chapter so I'll just leave it like this.


	46. Moments of Intense Feeling

Please ignore the inconsistency with Jerry's age. If it seems like he shouldn't be talking as much as he does in this chapter well that's why it's called fiction. Same goes if he should be talking more than he does in this chapter.

Still in Dr. John's office with five minutes left in the session, Dan stood up from his seat across from the psychiatrist. Dr. John stood up too.

"Dan, I was going to wait to ask this at our next session, but how would you feel about taking antidepressants?"

Dan stood by the door studying his doctor. He absent mindedly itched a random spot on his neck. He was silent for a few seconds, as it took that long for the meaning of his doctor's question to cross Dan's mind. Finally Dan spoke, "Happy pills? Is my head _that _screwed up?"

Dr. John stood there he smiled slightly. "Not as much as you think. I'm only suggesting a very small dose. But there are other ways that will help you. Some people, especially those with children, refuse any medication for fear of the side effects affecting their ability to take care of their kids. I can only prescribe; I can't make you take the pills."

Dan looked down at the floor and then back up at his doctor. "That some people would be me. I'd like to try other possibilities before I start taking drugs." A memory made its way into Dan's train of thought. As he talked he remembered the time that he, Jackie, and Roseanne were lighting up a joint in the bathroom. Neither one of them remembered what they did after that but the next morning they all found themselves sitting at the kitchen like zombies while David went through the fridge and found very little to eat. Dr. John must have seen the humor in Dan's mind because he asked,

"What's so funny?"

Dan thought about his answer. "Smoked a lot of pot in the 60's. Memory crossed my mind."

Dr. John laughed. "A lot of people can say that."

Dan looked at the clock. "I guess I'll see you in a month."

Dan walked down the hallway. An orderly saw him and let him out through the all too familiar locked door. Once Dan was out of the ward, he walked down another hall that had the elevator and stairs at the end. Before he could get to that end, he walked passed another hallway and stopped mid step.

About ten down the other hall way he saw Beverly, going into a door. Her blonde short hair cut was distinctive and unmistakable to Dan. She disappeared into a room, Dan looked for a sign to see what part of the house that was but he found nothing so he casually strolled down that hallway. As he walked past the door he glanced at it. To his curiosity and rather strange feeling of panic the door was labeled Oncology. Dan didn't have good grades in high school or a college education but he damn well knew that Oncology equaled Cancer. _How do I tell Jackie? _He wondered as he took a quick sip from a conveniently placed water fountain and then pulled a 280 degree turn and walked to the stair well. He could have easily taken the elevator but recent events had made him decide that his health was now more important than ever for as long as he could help it Jerry would get to spend as much time with him as his brother and sisters.

Dan got home to find an extremely clean house. Amends for the silent treatment? _Not likely. _Preparation for the wedding? _Probably. _He also found DJ playing Nintendo.

Dan was mad but he took a breath and tried to keep his voice at a firm but not overly threatening or intimidating way, "DJ. Why are you playing video games if you're grounded?"

DJ jumped off the couch. He was still afraid after his and Jackie's talk. He held the controller in his hands, "I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to play video games when I'm grounded."

Dan froze a minute as he thought about this. He did remember that in the past DJ had been allowed to play video games when he was grounded and Dan didn't remember telling DJ that he couldn't play video games when he was grounded so he took a breath. "All right, DJ, for now on you're not allowed to play video games when you're grounded."

DJ stood there still holding the controller. "How long am I grounded for?"

Without thinking Dan answered with, "Until the Cubs win the World series." (Not happening if the Cardinals have anything to say about it) DJ threw the down the controller and ran upstairs. Luckily for him Dan ignored his temper tantrum and went into his room. There he found a strange sight. David was taking a nap but on top of the bed spread. Jerry was asleep next to him. Dan walked around the bed and put his hand on Jerry's forehead.

Jerry's opened and he looked up at his dad brightly. "Daddy!" Jerry said rather loudly.

Dan put his finger to lips. "Sh. David's asleep." Jerry put his arms in the air. Dan put his arms under his small son and carried him out of the room. Once they were in the kitchen Jerry leaned down so Dan put him on the ground and then Jerry ran to the pantry. That made Dan remember that he wanted to put a sliding door to close off the pantry because Jerry was getting into the habit of getting food from there and climbing the shelves, a first for the Conner house.

"Daddy! I'm hungry." Jerry said pointing to the big bag of regular Lays sitting on the third shelf.

"It's almost dinner time." Dan said.

Jerry continued pointing at the potato crisps (Just for my British readers). Not knowing where the rest of the house occupants were, Dan gave in. He set Jerry on a kitchen chair and then grabbed the chips and a bowl. He put a few chips in the bowl and then handed it to Jerry. He took a big chip for himself and was displeased to find that he still didn't enjoy the junk food.

He sat down in the chair next to Jerry with his hand on the side of his head leaning forward on the table. "So what did you do today, Jer?"

Jerry took a bite of a chip. More crumbs fell onto his clothes than went into his mouth as he said, "Played blocks with Darrrene." Dan was a tiny bit concerned about Jerry's pronunciation of the letter R as it was obvious that he rolled his R's.

Dan kept his hand on his head, "Did you do anything else?"

Jerry though for a minute and then spoke. "Colored."

"Oh yeah? What did you color?"

"Picture." _Must only roll his R's with Darlene's name. _Dan thought. Suddenly Jerry jumped off the chair and ran into the living room. He quickly brought back a piece of paper that was torn out of a coloring book.

"What's this?" Dan asked, proudly. The page that Jerry colored had crayon all over the place in some areas and nice colored in areas with a man dressed in a dress suit, tie and a bowler hat, a woman in a dress with a flower pattern, and a little boy in jeans and a striped shirt, a scene right out of Dan's child hood in the 1950's. Dan pointed to the man. "Who's this Jerry?"

Jerry looked at Dan. "You." He said pointing to Dan's chest.

Dan pointed at himself and used one of his funny little voices that featured a strange accent, _"Me? Why that looks exactly like me." _His accent and voice was hilarious to Jerry. Jerry laughed really hard. Dan laughed too and then pointed to the boy in the picture, "Whose this?"

Jerry pointed to himself. "ME!"

Dan nodded and pointed to the woman his heart beats becoming more frequent. "Whose this?"

"MOMMY!"

Dan looked at the lady in the picture whom Jerry called 'Mommy'. The lady had black somewhat curly somewhat straight hair. Just like Roseanne. Dan felt tears welling up in his eyes. What caused this was that the hair of the woman in the picture, who represented Roseanne, was colored in Jerry's scribbles and not Darlene's pristine inside the line coloring. He also felt his voice cracking. He tried to sound happy. He didn't want Jerry to sense his sadness, "Hey Jerry how did you know that mommy had black hair?"

Jerry jumped off the chair again and ran back into the living room. This time he came back with the family photo. "Darrrene told me this was mommy." Sure enough Jerry pointed to Roseanne in the picture.

Dan was even more on the verge of tears than before but he still barely managed to hold on and act happy for Jerry. "She's right that is your mommy."

Jerry looked at his dad and then looked back down at the photo. He pointed to Dan this time. "Wow Daddy, You're really fat!"

Dan looked at his old self and then his new self and laughed and cried at the same time. Jerry left the table and went into the living room where he got on his knees on the floor and started to play with his seven inch tall plastic T rexes. Dan remained at the table and cried with his head buried in his hands. He was crying on the way that he cried the morning that Roseanne told him about his mom. Only that morning he cried in Roseanne's arms and that made it worse this time. Dan's face was soaked with tears.

As he cried he was unaware that David stood under the arch way connecting the bathroom hallway to the kitchen by the pantry. David stood there frozen, he had never seen Mr. Conner cry or so fragile, for a moment it was hard for David to believe that Dan was the man who once whacked him upside the head and threw him into a door or took him into the woods and taught how to shoot a gun. David had a query; does he go to Mr. Conner and comfort him? Or does he leave him alone? David went with the former. He figured Mr. Conner wanted to be left alone. Making this decision he backed away slowly and went back into the master bedroom.


	47. Judas Priest in the Garage

Becky Conner had never seen her father cry until now. She stood in the doorway separating the utility room from the kitchen watching her dad cry into his hands. The sound was new to Becky; she could tell that he was trying to be quiet.

_Should I go to him? Or should I leave him alone? _Becky thought to herself, deciding to take a few quiet steps forward towards her dad. When she got near him she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him from behind.

Dan felt this, and quickly rubbed his eyes trying to hide the fact that he was crying. "Hi, Becky." He said trying to sound normal.

"I'm sorry dad." Becky said in a really sweet voice.

Dan put his left hand on her right hand which was on top of his right shoulder. "It's okay Beck." He said still trying to sound normal even though his voice was still cracking and he was still trying to fight the urge to cry.

Becky leaned forward and looked at her dads face. Dan looked away. He could still feel tears in his eyes and he didn't want Becky to see. Becky couldn't resist saying, "I've never seen you cry before."

Dan looked at Becky and smiled with tears still in his eyes. "Bit my cheek."

Becky let go of her dad casually. "Want me to start dinner?" She asked going over to the sink.

Dan looked behind at Becky. "No, I'll make dinner tonight." He said and then stood up from the chair and leaned in to see Jerry.

"What vegetarian dinner are you going to make today?"

"Hehe. Meatball-less spaghetti."

Becky nodded and walked into the living room. Dan got out a pan and started to fill it with water at the sink. David came into the kitchen.

"Hi, David." Dan said, still oblivious to the fact that David had seen him cry.

David was a bit embarrassed, and he successfully hid it. "Hi. Mr. Conner. Have you seen Darlene?"

Dan shook his head and looked at David. "Nope. Are you two talking yet?"

David put his hands in his pockets. He could see that Dan still had tears in his eyes in the way that people still have tears even though they aren't crying anymore. "Yeah, we made up."

Dan put the pot of water on the stove and turned the knob to high. He then turned around with his hands behind him on the stove. "Glad to hear it. It was bad enough when I was kicked to the couch, but I hated it when me and Mrs. Conner weren't talking."

David stood under the arch by the pantry and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Dan cocked his head; it was obvious that David was nervous about something. Dan let him do this for a few moments before he intervened. "Want something, David?"

"I was just wondering if ….you had heard anything about my mom or dad. I mean I know that have some friends that live in Lanford…." David stuttered in the way that he did when he was nervous, Dan immediately flashbacked to the day when Barbara Healy showed up at the house. Dan couldn't decide whether or not to lie to David. But he knew that if he told David the truth it would only hurt his feelings so Dan replied with,

"Uh no I haven't. Do you want your mom or dad to come to the wedding?"

David looked down at the floor. He noticed that when he's on top of the elevated floor by the pantry he is at eye level with Mr. Conner. "Well I've been thinking a lot about my mom and dad recently." Dan listened while he walked across the room and sat down on the chair by the phone and leaned toward David with his legs on the side by David too. David liked that Dan did that like he was really interested. "I guess now that I'm going to be a parent I've been thinking about my childhood and how my parents were."

Dan put his hand on David's shoulder. "David, David, David. You are going to do the opposite of everything that your parents or me and Mrs. Conner did as parents, just like we both did the opposite of what our parents did. Our parents believed in hitting kids while Roseanne and I did not. Darlene will probably want to raise your daughter to despise all meat while I encourage eating meat. Well used too anyway…" David turned a little but more too Dan.

"You know Mr. Conner I'd like to think I'm going as good as a father as you…" David complimented Dan but while not looking at him, but that didn't stop Dan from looking at David.

"You will be David. You're smart, logical, you care about others deeply. You know how to be strict with kids when you need to be. In fact I think you'd make a better husband and father than me." Dan said this all enthusiastically.

The last part of his sentence caught David by surprise and he looked at Dan with his head down but looking up. "Why?" He said, surprised.

Dan took his arm off David's shoulder and put it on his knee. "I have to admit it David. Anger was always my biggest weakness. I could control it with words for little stuff or when we screaming at each other but boy,when anything was done to my family by other people…" Dan looked down as he finished his sentence with, "Well _you've seen what happens. _That night I was arrested in the living room I promised myself I'd never touch someone physically again, but Mark punched me and I punched him back and then when I caught you in the basement with Darlene I just lost perspective of everything and I realized that I threw you into a door. I couldn't admit it but I felt really guilty after that. And I just wanted you to know that in at least two ways you will be a better father than me."

David shot Dan a confused look. "What's the second way?"

"Come back to me when you think you've figured it out." Dan smiled and patted David on the back and then went into the living room.

He sat on the couch and Jerry came to him and climbed on his knee. "Hey Becky, would you mind switching places with me tonight? My back is starting to hurt and I need to know if it's because of this couch."

"Of course. I don't have an alarm clock down there though." Becky said matter of factly.

Dan pulled Jerry's bony butt off his knee and higher on his knee. "Could you wake me up then?"

"Sure."

"Thank you." Dan picked Jerry up and put him on the couch next to him and then got off the couch and went into the kitchen where he found the water boiling in the pot on the stove. _Two down, two to go. _He thought happy that the silence barrier was broken with David and Becky but unhappy that it still needed to be broken with DJ and Darlene. Although DJ was talking to him there still was a fight and tension going on between them.

The garage was cold and well lit as Darlene sat on her dad's stool reading _Interview with a Vampire. _She had on her coat and gloves and had turned on the space heater so she wasn't too worried that she'd get sick and harm the baby. She was out there because she had decided that the house was too crowded and Darlene was mad at virtually everyone in it except David. She valued the quiet peacefulness that the garage provided and realized why her dad had spent so much time there in his life.

She was lost in the book when a loud sound startled her. She looked up and found her dad in only his Bulls hoodie and jeans and his work boots which were untied. He held up his bare hands to the heater.

"I was wondering where you went." Dan said looking at Darlene's eye level; Darlene looked up at him and said nothing.

Dan knew his daughter well. Instead of his usual tactic of just keeping on talking, Dan rubbed his hand on the seat of his Harley and then stretched his leg over and it and sat down.

Like he planned, Darlene watched him silently with interest. Dan put his hands on the handlebars but kept his untied boots on the ground as he started to sing in tune and quietly but ended loudly as he sang,

"Well I've said it before, and I'll say it again

You get nothing for nothing: expect it when

You're backseat driving, and your hands ain't on the wheel

It's easy to go along with the crowd,

And find later on that your say ain't allowed

Oh that's the way to find what you've been missing

So I'm heading out to the highway

By the word "Highway" which was sang loudly and obnoxiously, Darlene put her book down and yelled. "Leave it to Judas Priest dad."

Dan stopped immediately and took his hands off the handlebars. "You're talking to me."

"So is the baby. She's saying tell grandpa to shut up!"

Dan swung his leg off the Harley and got off of it. "Well you've told both of your grandpas' to shut up so she must be just like you."

Darlene glared at her dad. "You didn't come here to serenade me with the music from psychedelic past."

Dan put his hands in his front hoodie pouch. "You're right about that. I came out here to tell you that dinner is done. I made Spaghetti and meatballs minus the meatballs."

Darlene remained where she was. "I'm not hungry."

"Really? You're at the part of your pregnancy where you should be ordering David or me to drive all the way to Elgin for eggrolls from a particular Chinese restaurant."

"Mom made you drive too Elgin for egg rolls?"

"Well it got me out of the house for three hours." The two shared awkward silence. "So you're really not hungry?"

"Yeah, I'm still not hungry."

Dan nodded turned around and left the garage. He didn't like that Darlene was in the cold garage but he convinced himself that Darlene was responsible and knew what she was doing. He also didn't like that he got the feeling that she was still mad at him, but he knew more than anything that time heals all wounds.


	48. That Thing They Call Dress Shopping

Please note: In the series they never gave a last name to Fred or Jackie when they we're married, so I've decided to give Andy the name of Andy Frederick Williams. Why? I don't know it sounds nice. But since Jackie is divorced her name has gone back to Harris. Just letting you know so you can avoid confusion assuming that you care about their last names. By the way, if you've read this story from chapter one and beyond you may have wondered where I got Stephen for Dan's middle name. Well that's John Goodman's middle name. Now for the beginning of this chapter:

The family sat around the kitchen table. Dan was sitting at his usual spot at the end of the table and by the end of the kitchen counter. Darlene was on his right with David next to her and Becky on his left with DJ next to her, Jerry was in his high chair off to the side closest to Dan.

Things were still awkward. DJ was mad at Dan while Darlene and Becky were pissed at each other. As they ate, Jerry was having fun with throwing his grapes on the floor.

"Jerry. We don't throw grapes." Dan said, more annoyed than anything.

David was sick of the tension and quiet, that was going in between all of the people not in a high chair. He spoke as he twirled spaghetti onto his fork. "The spaghetti is really good Mr. Conner. It tasted different than usual."

Dan looked across the table at the David. He could tell that David was just trying to talk to ease the tension so he replied, "Yeah, I made it like my mom. I think."

Becky looked at her dad. "How is grandma?" She asked without thinking. Dan got a weird look on his face and he looked down at the plate.

"She's she's fine." He said, in a quiet voice.

Darlene glared in disgust at Becky. "Wow, Rebecca. Dad always said we could ask him anything, but did you really have to ask him that?"

Dan looked up with a stern look on his face. "Girls. Stop. It's fine. She's your grandma it's okay if you ask me about her."

The girls went quiet. DJ looked up at everyone. "I got a 92 on my geography test. I would have gotten a 100 but I forgot where the Benelux countries were."

Everyone even Jerry looked at DJ. "Good job." They said in unison.

That night, Becky did the dishes, and Dan gave Jerry a bath in the bath tub. Darlene and David were watching TV, while DJ was supposedly doing homework in his room until he came down and went into the bathroom with his dad who was on his knees with his left hand holding Jerry up and his right washing him.

Dan watched him curiously wondering if DJ was still mad at him or not. "What are you doing Deej? You're bathroom works just fine."

DJ leaned against the doorway that led into the master bedroom. "Well we have to write this paper on our family."

Dan smiled as he carefully poured a cup of soap-less water on the top of Jerry's head. "Well you're teacher's definitely not going to get bored when she reads yours. I had an assignment like that."

This made DJ curious. "Oh yeah. What'd you write?"

Dan poured once more, making sure that no soap went into Jerry's eyes. "My mom's name is Audrey; my dad's name is Ed."

Dan stopped and DJ asked, "And…?"

"And what? That's it." Dan said like it was a joke that was serious.

DJ looked at his feet and Dan lifted Jerry out of the tub and then rubbed the towel on the wettest part of his body before he wrapped Jerry's special toddler towel around his body. "What's wrong Deej?"

DJ looked up from the floor. "One time when Grandpa Conner was here, he was talking about a car trip that they took you on when you were two." Dan thought about what DJ was saying, and he knew that DJ was referring to the time that Ed visited and they fought, before he stormed off to the garage where he and Roseanne talked.

"I remember." Dan said, fearing the territory that he and DJ were making their way into.

"We'll I could never figure out what grandpa said about grandma being pregnant if you don't have any brothers or sisters."

Dan looked at DJ as Jerry stood up on his own two feet in between them. "It's not worth bringing up DJ." Dan said like DJ was two years old.

DJ was unhappy with this answer and walker away coolly. Dan picked up Jerry and carried him into the master bedroom where he had his PJ's laid out on the bed. He laid Jerry down on the bed and put a diaper on him and then his Bears footie pajamas. Jerry yawned loudly.

"Tired, buddy?" Jerry nodded and then held up his hands telling Dan that he wanted carried. Dan picked him up and then carried him through the living room.

"I'm going to put Jerry to bed." Dan announced.

"Good night Jerry." Darlene and David said together. Jerry didn't acknowledge it as he was already asleep on his dads shoulder.

By eleven everyone in the house was asleep, except Dan who was in the basement. He had been sleeping good, as the basement was cold and the bed was really comfortable. What woke him up was the feeling of extra warmth behind Dan's on the bed as he slept on right side. It was the familiar feeling…

"Rosie?"

The feeling stayed, and Dan closed his eyes enjoying the phantom feeling of his wife in the bed with him.

The next day found the whole family taking a trip to Rodbell's. They were all there to get their wedding clothes. Dan was there to get all new clothes; hardly any of his old clothes fit him anymore.

Jackie was pestering Darlene about wearing Roseanne's wedding dress. "Darlene we could tailor it to fit you." Jackie said, holding Andy's hand.

Darlene glared at her aunt. "Why is it so important for you that I wear my mom's dress?"

Dan heard this and answered with, "You're mom always wanted you to wear her wedding dress because Becky didn't."

Darlene glared at Becky. "So it's your fault." The two sisters locked eyes. They still weren't talking.

Everyone talked as they walked. Ahead of them there was an area surrounded by a two foot tall fence that had dogs in cages and pens. The dogs were almost all Labradors and the family knew that they came from the puppy mill that was being run illegally. Jerry was being carried in Dan's arms and he leaned down telling his dad that he wanted down. Dan didn't let him go and that upset Jerry, especially after Andy who was getting too big for Jackie or anyone else to carry, bolted for the dogs.

"Andy!" They all shouted, making their way through a small thin crowd to Andy.

When they caught up with him, Andy was on his knees poking his hands through a cage with a yellow lab. Jackie was furious. "Andrew Frederick Williams what have I told you about running away from me?"

Andy looked scared for a minute. He looked down in shame. "I'm sorry mommy…"

Jackie wasn't mad for long, she got on her knee's next to Andy. "I'm sorry Andy we can't get a dog."

Appropriately, Andy put on his cutest puppy dog eyes. Jackie shook her head. "No Andy."

Andy got up off his knees and stood up. "Alright. Bye puppy." Andy wiggled his finger on the puppy's stomach and then pulled it out of the cage. The family had gathered around them and now backed up and went on their way. Dan followed behind them, a Black lab puppy had caught his eyes, and he kept looking back at it. He wasn't even sure if it was a boy or a girl…

The Bridal Store brought boredom for DJ, and Darlene was insistent that David not be around when she chose her dress.

"David, take DJ and go to the video store or something." Jackie said in a very friendly voice. David and DJ started to walk away, David looked at Dan real quick but Dan waved him off, and Andy and Jerry ended up going with them.

Jackie stood at a rack with plain white and ruffled wedding gowns. She held the sleeve of one out studying the texture. "How about this one?"

Darlene immediately looked at the price tag. Dan noticed it, "Darlene don't worry about the price."

Darlene glanced at her dad and then studied the dress in whole. "I like it."

Jackie looked at it too. "What do you think, Beck?"

Becky walked up and felt it too. "Ooh soft. I like it too."

Jackie looked at Darlene. "Are you sure you don't want to look some more?"

Darlene nodded and they found a sales associate and Darlene worked with her to find the right size. Jackie and Dan sat in chair set out by the door to the fitting room.

"So how does it feel Dan, to know that you're daughter is getting married?" Jackie asked, enthusiastically.

Dan looked at Jackie. "You mean as opposed to how I felt about Becky's wedding?"

Jackie sensed his gruff tone and dropped it. Dan's head was too fragile lately for Jackie to poke fun at now. Becky had told her about how she saw him crying at the kitchen table, and Jackie was a little curious as to the reason why he was crying because it obviously wasn't because he bit his lip.

Darlene came out in her dress. She was beautiful. "Wow you are _my daughter right?"_ Dan asked, in disbelief about how stunning Darlene looked.

"You're beautiful!" Jackie shouted as her, Dan and Becky applauded.

"Give me a break…" Darlene said.

The three stood up. "Does it fit?" Jackie asked putting her hands on Darlene's shoulders.

"Yeah."

Dan looked her up and down and then subtly pushed Jackie out of the way with his tall frame. Now he put his hands on her shoulder. "Your mom would love this dress."

Darlene stepped back one step embarrassed. "God, dad we'll have to buy it if you get tears all over it…" Darlene turned to the sales associate. "I'll take it."


	49. Trucks, Pool, and The New Brother

Okay sorry people I've been busy lately and frankly I was struggling with writers block. To make up for the time I made you wait for this chapter it's a long one.

In the Big and Tall store Dan was overjoyed by the fact that he could wear the clothes that haven't fit him in twenty years. Dan had two shirts in his hands, and Darlene felt one of the shirts in his hands.

"Dad. You've been wearing flannel and striped shirts my entire life. Don't you think that it's time for a change?" Darlene asked, rubbing the material through three of her fingers.

Becky joined in. "Yeah, I mean you're a guy but don't you get tired of wearing the same kind of clothes every day?"

Dan looked down at the clothes in his hands. "I wear football shirts too."

Both of his daughter's stared at him like he was the embarrassment of the family. "Dad, why don't you let us pick out some of your clothes?"

Dan eyed each of his daughters suspiciously. "Why? Between the two of you I'd look like a travelling salesman at a Kiss concert."

Darlene smiled. "You could totally pull off that look."

Dan cocked his head. "Thanks but I've been dressing myself since I was three."

Darlene crossed her arms. "Com e on, dad." Darlene said with puppy dog eyes.

Becky used puppy dog eyes too. "Please?" Dan stood in front of both of them cracking under pressure. Sure they'd make him look like a salesman at a Kiss concert but doing this would fix the tension between them. Dan swallowed his dignity.

"Fine, but Darlene if it has a spikes and looks like it belongs on a dog I ain't wearing it no matter what. " Dan said pointing his finger at Darlene.

He girls smiled and then scrambled off and went to various clothing racks in the store.

Fifteen minutes later Dan came out of the men's dressing room wearing a long sleeve white t shirt underneath a separate black short sleeve T shirt with a white silhouette of the Abbey Road album artwork. He also had a new pair of Levi's jeans on that he actually liked.

Dan looked at himself in the mirror. "Well it's not what I imagined."

The girls came up behind him. "Do you like it?"

Dan looked at his girls. "Sure." Which was a half-truth. Dan didn't mind the jeans, but he wasn't sure about the layers of T-shirts.

When two o'clock rolled around the family decided to eat lunch at a restaurant. They ended up at Applebee's. "How many?" The hostess asked, as the family filed in the restaurant.

"Eight." Jackie said, counting Andy and Jerry.

"Okay. Uh follow me." The family followed the waitress to the back of the restaurant and two workers put two tables together and rearranged the chairs. The family all found chairs and sat down, opening up their menus. Everyone was starving except Dan.

Darlene held up her menu and pointed to a picture of a burger that was labeled the Jack Daniels Burger. "I wonder who came up the idea of a Jack Daniels Burger." She said, as Jackie gave her a scolding look.

Dan looked at it and smiled. He didn't seem bothered by his daughter's sense of humor. Jackie saw Dan's indifference and called him out on it, "You're going to just let her get away with that?" Jackie asked, quietly.

Dan talked quietly while looking at his menu and not at Jackie. "It was just a joke."

Jackie studied Dan's body language and then returned her attention to the whole table. "Does everyone know what they want?"

David and Darlene looked at each other. "We're going to share."

Dan looked down at Jerry, who was in a wooden high chair. "What do you want Jerry?" Jerry looked happily at his dad. "This." Jerry pointed at the Mac and Cheese on the kids menu. "Good choice, Jer." Dan said as the waitress found her way at their table.

"What do y'all want to drink?" She said, in an accent similar to Crystal's.

Dan looked at her. "Me and him will have coke, please. " He said cheerfully, referring to Jerry.

The waitress moved on to Jackie and Darlene who ordered tea, and then David and DJ who ordered Coke, and then Andy ordered Sprite. The waitress wrote down their drink orders and then left.

The family talked loudly since the restaurant had a full house. "Have any of you heard from grandma lately? I haven't in almost four days. "Jackie said with worry in her voice. Dan looked down as he flashbacked to the seeing Beverly going into the cancer ward of the hospital. He still wanted to tell Jackie because he felt she needed to know, but he didn't want to worry her during Darlene and David's wedding. That seemed cruel.

The kids all shook their heads. The waitress came and set their drinks on the table. Jerry and Andy got plastic cups with lids. Dan struggled to find a topic that wouldn't cause problems. Fighting at the dinner table at home was one thing but fighting at the dinner table in public was another.

David and DJ talked quietly while Jackie and Becky talked quietly. Dan was tired of the tension he said loudly over everyone, "I'm thinking about getting a dog."

Suddenly all attention was on him. Eyebrows were raised; this was not something that they'd ever imagine Dan saying. There had been the general consensus that pets weren't allowed at the house.

"Really?" DJ asked excitedly.

Dan looked across the table at DJ. "Yeah, I think you're old enough now that we can have a dog in the house."

David and Darlene looked at each other. Then Darlene looked at her dad as Becky asked, "You're going to wait until after the wedding right?"

Dan looked at his oldest kid. "Well yeah. Of course." Suddenly Dan felt himself in the spotlight and was glad when the waitress came with a waiter and handed out the plates stopping the conversation from going any further.

Once they had their food, the family ate seemingly quietly. Being together so much had taken away the desire to make conversation from everyone.

When the family decided to leave Rodbell's, David nagged Darlene to annoyance to stay and look once more at cribs.

"Come on Darlene. If we get the crib now we could start setting up your old room for the nursery." David took Darlene closer and whispered. "Wait you have talked to your dad about staying with him for a few minutes after she's born. Right?"

Darlene looked around. The answer was no. She wanted to stay with her dad after the baby was born but she felt like the house was too crowded, plus no one would admit it but the family was tiptoeing around their Dad whose state of mind was a concern for them.

"I will."

David didn't like this answer. "Please Darlene?" He said with puppy dog eyes.

"Okay. Fine." Darlene said. "Hey dad we're going to stay and look at cribs."

Dan nodded and the rest of the family left Darlene and David alone. At the house, Becky, DJ, Jerry, Dan, Andy and Jackie put their stuff away and then scrambled to clean the house.

"So Dan what are you going to do since your house will be overrun by Darlene's vampire club?" Jackie asked as Dan swept a large pile of dirt and dust into a dust pan.

Dan looked behind his shoulder at Jackie. "Poker night at Chuck's. Hey I was going to ask you. Can Jerry and I crash with you?"

Jackie looked at Dan. No matter what the conversation was about, Jackie always got the feeling that Dan's mind was either somewhere else or in a dark tunnel. More and more she was realizing how different he was. "Of course you can. But what about DJ?"

Dan shrugged his shoulders softly. "I was going to give him the choice of hanging with you and the boys or staying her e and cowering in fear of his sister's friends. I was also wondering if you could watch Jerry until I get back from the game."

Jackie and Dan looked at each other in a way that wasn't awkward or weird, just quiet. The silence was broken when the sound of the doorbell rang through the house. Dan and Jackie walked to the living room and Dan opened the door. On the porch they found a group of five girls, three of which were donned in gothic clothing and makeup.

Dan motioned them in the living room. "Hi, girls. I fell behind on time today so if you wait in here, Mrs. Harris and I will set up the kitchen." The girls all seemed happy and excited. They looked at Jackie and smiled before finding seats and sitting down. They talked amongst themselves and Dan and Jackie worked together to prepare snacks for Darlene's bachelorette party. Jackie went on to make deviled eggs while Dan arranged a fruit platter. Jackie came and checked on his work.

"Uh Dan. That's not right." She said looking past Dan's arm and down at the platter.

Dan turned around slightly and looked down at Jackie who was leaning to see around him. "What do you mean 'not right'?"

Jackie stepped in front of him swiftly and then began to rearrange the carrots and green peppers. "Dan I know you're a guy but when making a platter you don't want to place the same colored foods next to each other."

Dan made a puzzled face, he was trying to sarcastic while also showing Jackie his annoyance when he said, "I know you're a woman but don't expect me to fix your car again."

They locked eyes. "Did it ever occur to you that we're starting to fight like brother and sister?"

Dan broke his stare and looked away. "Yes Jackie it did. But don't remind me. That thought alone is tempting me to go to the LOBO." Jackie smiled. Dan was being playful and so she lightly punched him in the arm. He sarcastically flinched. Just then there was a quiet knock on the back door. Slowly Mark walked in through the utility room.

"Mark? What are you doing here?"

Mark looked down at his feet, he was clearly depressed. "I wanted to take David out for a bachelor party."

Dan and Jackie looked at each other, "Oh well he and Darlene haven't gotten home yet. You can wait here if you want." Jackie said nicely. Mark looked into the living room and saw the girls.

"Nah. I'm okay. I was actually wondering if I can talk to you Dan."

Dan looked at Jackie. "Okay. Let's go to the garage." Dan and Mark went into the garage. As they disappeared through the back door, Becky came down and into the kitchen with the boys. Just the sight of Mark sent her into a frenzy.

"What's dad doing with Mark?" Jackie had the look of a deer in headlights.

"Mark came over looking for David and he wanted to talk to your dad." Jackie said picking Andy up and sitting him down on a chair at the table. Jerry held a toy truck in his hand and played with it while sitting on the floor.

"What's he want to talk to my dad for?" Becky demanded to know with her hands crossed in front of her chest.

Jackie shook her head. "I don't know."

In the garage, Mark stood awkwardly in front of the old refrigerator. Dan sat on his stool holding a hammer and a small piece of wood in his hands trying to pry out a nail. He did this all the while not looking up at Mark. "What do you want to talk me about?"

Mark kept looking at his feet with his hands in his pocket. "I uh was wondering if you could help me. I tried to give Becky some money but she won't take it."

Dan looked down at his nail and then up at Mark. "Uh you understand that you don't have to pay alimony until after the divorce papers are finalized right?"

Mark looked up and shook his head, quietly. "I know but I just feel like I should help her out. I know her car payment is due and I don't think she'll make it with the money she has."

Dan went quiet for a minute. He was trying to stay out of the drama going on in the family especially after he just rekindled his relationship with his daughters. He knew that if he took money from Mark and gave it to Becky that she would somehow figure out it was from Mark and then be pissed at him. On the other hand he knew that Becky did need the money.

After going through this in his mind Dan sighed and then spoke. "I know how hard this is for you, Mark. But Becky is not going to take the money from me if she knows it's from you. She's like her mother that way."

Mark shifted his weight from one foot to the other, "Do you know if Becky is planning on moving back in the trailer? If she is I'll leave. It's too hard to keep up with the mortgage with her gone so I was thinking about moving into an apartment again."

Dan cocked his head, "I don't know Mark. I'm still getting used to having all four of my kids living with me." As Dan finished his sentence, they heard a car pull into the driveway in front of the garage. Mark and Dan went outside and found Darlene and David. Mark grabbed David by the shoulder.

"Hey, Dave. I'm taking you out for a bachelor party." Mark said pulling David towards his truck. David had a very confused and shocked look on his face as he looked at Darlene and Dan.

Darlene smiled. "Bye, David." This didn't seem to be the reaction David was expecting because he bore look of a small child being taken from their mother. When David and Mark pulled out of the driveway Darlene and Dan made their way into the house through the utility room. The girls who had been hanging out in the living room had heard the cars outside so they had hid in various spots in the kitchen and then jumped put as soon as Darlene stepped foot in the kitchen.

"SURPRISE!" They all shouted. Darlene looked around in surprise, seeing friends that she had lost touch with in Chicago.

"Hi, guys. What is this?" Dan answered as he helped Darlene take her coat off.

"You're bachelorette party. The house is all yours."

Darlene looked behind her shoulder and up at Dan. "You're leaving?"

"I got a poker game." Dan said while going into the living room and upstairs to find DJ.

Dan knocked on DJ's door. DJ answered after three knocks. "Well your sister is here. Are you hiding out up here or going with me?"

DJ looked around his room, "I'll stay here."

Dan looked down at DJ. "Are you sure?"

DJ nodded. "Yeah."

Before his poker game, Dan went to his meeting. When the meeting was over, he walked with Benny to his truck which was next to Benny's truck. They each climbed into their respective trucks. Dan turned his ignition on and waited for Benny to pull out, but Benny kept turning the key to no effect.

Dan got out of his truck and opened up Benny's passenger door, "Sounds like the battery is dead. Mind if I take a look?" He said with his hand on the door.

"No, of course not." Benny said sincerely. Dan went to the front of the old Ford and lifted the hood and then put the stand up locking the hood in the up position. Benny joined him as he surveyed and felt around the engine, carburetor, and transmission. "Know a lot about engines, Dan?" Benny said in a way that suggested he didn't.

Dan pulled his head from out from under the hood. "Engines, transmissions, tires, axels, you name it. I prefer working on bikes though."

Benny looked at the engine once more. "I thought you said you worked in drywall?"

"I did. But I've worked as a mechanic too. I even tried being a salesman a few times." Dan said then changed the subject. "You're battery is dead. I can give you a lift to the auto store if you want and then give your truck a jump from my truck."

Benny listened, "Sounds good." He said and then went to lock his doors as Dan put the hood down. The men climbed into Dan's truck and then drove to the auto store. They got what they needed and then went back to the parking lot and connected their trucks together and Benny's truck was running in no time. "Thank you, Dan. I'll have to remember how this myself do next time."

"You're welcome, Benny."

At her bachelor party, Darlene sat on the couch surrounded by all her friends including Marcy. "It so weird. You're pregnant and getting married. I thought you'd leave Chicago and go to New York or something."

Darlene smiled. "Yeah I think most people did. That's probably what my parents thought. Ever since he got back, my dad's been acting real strange lately."

The friend sitting on her left took a drink from her cup. "How is he? I saw him at the gas station a few days ago and he looked like he was a million miles away."

Darlene looked at her friend. "He's good I guess. I mean if he was still drinking he could be way worse."

One of her other friends who was sitting on the floor spoke. "How's your brother?"

Darlene looked down at that friend, "Which one?"

The girls squished their eyebrows together in confusion. "What do you mean 'which one'?"

Darlene looked from friend to friend. "Oh I forgot to tell you. My parents brought yet another demon into Lanford."

Another friend asked, "Wasn't your mom a little old to be having a kid?"

Darlene spoke as she stood up. "Yeah. They're the only two parents I know that wanted kids in the house when they're sixty."

The girls followed Darlene as she went up the stairs and into Jerry's room. Jerry was asleep in his crib. "Ladies meet the next terror of Lanford, Jerry Garcia."

The girls all oohed at the sleeping toddler. "Jerry Garcia? Seriously?"

Darlene moved Jerry's bottle away from his face as she answered, "Unfortunately for him my parents were Grateful Dead fans."

At the LOBO Lounge, David stood around nervously. He had never been there and although he was 18, he was terrified that something would happen. "Dave, we can be here until ten." Mark said chalking the pointed end of a cue stick.

David tried to relax and took the cue stick his brother handed him, "I've never been here before."

Mark arranged balls in a triangle and then pulled the wood frame from the table. "Of course you haven't. Do you want to break?"

David looked at the table. He figured now would be a good time to tell Mark that he didn't know how to play pool, "Sure. If you tell me what that is?"

Mark sighed and took the cue ball and placed on the dot in front of the grouped balls. "Hit this ball into those balls."

David nodded and then walked to the front of the table. He started to shoot but Mark stopped him. "No, holding the stick like that won't help you." Mark put his own stick on the table and then held it like he was going to take a shot so that David could copy him. David followed his brother's example and then took a shot. His shot was weak but a ball managed to fall into the back left corner pocket. Mark looked at what ball it was. "Looks like your solids, Dave."


	50. Spoiler Alert: Dan DOESN'T Die

In the morning, Dan quietly opened the back door while holding Jerry in his arms. Once he was inside the back door he put Jerry down and they tiptoed into the kitchen. The lights were off but the living room was illuminated by the rays from the sun coming from the windows. Dan could barely see the girls who were scattered all along the living room floor with Queen Darlene sprawled out on the comfy leather couch. "Daddy which one is sissy?" Jerry asked, showing his age.

Dan shushed Jerry. "We don't want to wake them up."

The two walked briskly into the living room while stepping over and around various lumps and pillows and blankets on the floor. They made it to the stairs where they found a very odd and strange sight.

DJ was asleep on the landing with his face resting on the wall and a pillow in his lap with his legs hanging down on the first few steps. To Dan this was not the weirdest sight. What made this extremely weird was DJ's hair which was a very bright green color as if DJ were preparing for Saint Patrick's Day. Dan whispered to Jerry, "Wake DJ up, Jerry."

Jerry climbed up the steps and put his little hand on DJ's hand, "DEEE JAAY rise and shine!"

DJ's eyes opened up slowly and he gained a confused look on his face as he struggled to figure out where he was. Dan spoke as DJ's focus was turned to him. "Uh son? Why are you sleeping on the landing?"

DJ leaned forward and looked around seeing the steps on his right and in front of him going down where Jerry was. "I don't know."

Dan looked down. "Were you sleep walking?"

DJ squinted, "Uh no. I don't remember." Dan couldn't help but laugh at DJ's hair. "What's so funny?"

Dan giggled quietly as he said, "Just admiring your hair, Flubber."

"WHAT?" DJ shouted a little too loudly and grabbed his hair and then shot up the stairs and into his room. Dan and Jerry followed him and then peered into the bathroom in order to see his reaction.

By now Dan was laughing as hard as he laughed the times that he scared the living daylights out of Jackie. His stomach was aching.

"Oh my GOD! My hair!" DJ gasped, with a look of pain.

Dan was bent over now honestly trying to compose himself. He felt like he should be trying to comfort DJ and not laugh at him but it was really hard, almost as hard as when Becky cut the cheese in class. "That's what you get for staying here son, Deej."

Darlene was sitting at the table quietly eating Froot Loops as her friends slept. She saw a tall yet bulky shadow drift across the table and turned around. Her dad looked down at her with his arms crossed at his chest looking down at her with a scowl.

Darlene knew what he was unhappy about but kept her cool nonetheless, "Morning dad."

Dan studied his second kid. "Morning." He said indifferently. "Did it rain last night?"

Darlene looked up at her dad. This was unexpected. "Uh no why?"

Dan stood firmly. "Your brother looks like he was bit by the leprechaun guarding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

Darlene turned back around and coolly took a bite of her cereal. "How? We don't let Jerry play outside by himself." Dan cocked his head and said nothing, the look on his face speaking for him, "Okay we dyed the troll's hair. We caught him eavesdropping on us. He's lucky we didn't tar and feather him as the human chicken boy he is. "

Dan let go of his glare. "Did he really spy on you?"

Darlene looked at her dad again. "Yeah and here I was thinking he'd grown out of that phase."

Dan stayed where he was. "How'd you do it?"

Darlene got a sly expression on her face. "Oh no. That's better left a mystery."

Then Jackie came in the house from the back. Dan grabbed a cereal box from the pantry and then sat Jerry down in his high chair. Jackie talked as he poured cereal for himself and Jerry.

Jackie talked quietly when she noticed the girls still sleeping. "Guess what? I talked to Mary Dugan last night. She called me up out of nowhere last night and she said that her family can call in a favor and we can have the wedding in the ballroom of the Lanford Inn!"

Darlene jumped up from the chair and Dan turned around to face his sister in law. "What? That place was about 500 dollars out or our league!" Darlene shouted excitedly.

Jackie held up her hands. "No it'd be free."

Dan put the bowl that was in his hands down on the counter. "Wait. Why did Mary "Scary" Dugan call you out of the blue? And where's Andy?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "She moved back to Lanford and she was just looking for friends. And Andy is at home with Booker…"

Dan smiled as a dirty thought crossed his mind. "Ooh leaving your boyfriend home alone with your kid. Sounds serious…."

Jackie moved her head to the left. "Really?"

Darlene got annoyed with her dad and aunt. "So can we have my wedding at the Inn or not?"

An hour later the whole family plus Scott, Leon, Beverly, Nana Mary, Mark, and Crystal was gathered in the kitchen with the bachelorette party girls having left when twenty minutes ago. Darlene and David sat next to each other holding hands, Darlene told David what was going on within minutes of the news. Dan talked. "Okay, due to new circumstances Darlene and David are getting married at the Lanford Inn. We have to have the wedding ceremony at six so everyone in this room needs to act double time to be ready by then."

Now Darlene spoke. "Mark and Leprechaun boy you too need to go to the Inn and decorate." DJ and Mark looked at each other each unsure of their ability to decorate the place.

Jackie looked at Leon and Scott. "Can you too help them with that?"

Leon smiled. "Of course we can. And it will be more tasteful than the decorations at our wedding…"

Jackie spoke. "Crystal? Do you think you can get six orders of mostaccioli, fettuccine, and lasagna and a truck load of those rolls from that Italian restaurant on Radford? And Salad?"

Crystal nodded excitedly. "I can't believe Darlene is getting married…"

Dan pointed to David. "David get lost. It's bad luck to see your bride on your wedding day…"

David got up. "Yes sir." He took a step forward but then stopped in front of Dan. "Uh do you need me to do anything?" Dan leaned down and whispered into David's ear. David's face stayed the same and then he left the kitchen through the back door without a word. Everyone in the room wondered what Dan told David.

Very soon after that DJ was in the shower downstairs scrubbing his hair furiously. Dan came in holding a bottle of Dawn Dish soap. "Any luck?"

DJ popped his head out from behind the curtain and looked at the mirror. The scrubbing didn't pay off at all as his hair was still as green as a Green Bay Packers uniform. "It's like it's my natural hair color."

Dan handed DJ the soap. "Try this. If this doesn't work we'll have to resort to extreme measures."

Twenty minutes later DJ gave up and got out of the shower and put on plain house clothes. He came out to find his dad and Jerry sitting on the floor. He caught Dan smiling a little as he sat on the couch. "They must have used the expensive kind."

Dan leaned forward and got himself off the floor. "Well get your shoes on DJ. We'll have to cut your hair." DJ grabbed his hair and sighed.

In the truck Jerry was seated in his car seat between Dan and DJ. DJ was looking at the rearview mirror imagining himself bald. "Dad there's no way I can pull of the bald look." Dan looked at DJ then put his eyes back on the road.

"You'll have too."

DJ winced. "Maybe we could have the photographer take the pictures in black and white…"

Dan shook his head. "Believe it or not Deej, black and white costs more than color. Which is a switch compared to my and your mom's wedding."

DJ winced again and quickly came up with a different approach to his argument. "Darlene did this to me. How come _I'm _being punished?"

Dan kept a blank expression on his face. "Because you're old enough to know that you shouldn't spy on unsuspecting girls. Especially when they are associated with your sister the Queen of Darkness."

DJ went quiet but then pulled another trick out of his sleeve. "So you're saying it's not okay to look at girls with their clothes on but it is okay to look at magazines with girls that have their clothes off?"

Dan knew exactly what DJ was talking about and shielded himself from revealing his true emotions on this subject. He laughed in a way that hid those emotions. "Oh no, no, no, DJ. We will not be discussing this. You know that what you did was wrong as much as you knew what would happen if you got caught."

DJ sat back. "Well how about we get me a hat and only cut my hair short instead of off?"

An hour later, DJ's green hair was cut really short like a new Army recruit. He covered it with a bowler hat. DJ turned to face his dad and brother.

"How do I look?" DJ said slickly smiling.

Dan looked at the hat with his head to the side. "You look like your name should be Alphonse."

Four o'clock came and Darlene was upstairs with Jackie, Becky, Nana Mary and Beverly (There was a truce between Becky and Darlene for their wedding) Darlene came out of the bathroom. "Oh Darlene you look beautiful." They all said, with a piercing sincerity.

Darlene looked down at herself. "There's twenty sticks of dynamite strapped underneath this dress. I hear one chuckle and we all go up."

Becky moved Darlene's hair thinking about how they could fix it. "How do you want us to fix your hair?" she asked as Darlene turned to face the full body mirror. Jackie joined them.

"A braid would look nice. Hey maybe I should dye my hair green so I'll match DJ."

Nana Mary sat at the desk chair as Becky applied make up on her. "So how many times have you been married, Nana Mary?" Becky asked, just making conversation as Nana Mary sat still in her chair.

Nana Mary put her hands up and counted on her fingers. "Let's see their was Marvin…"

Meanwhile downstairs, David nervously stood in front of the downstairs bathroom mirror trying to figure out how to tie a tie. Dan came into the bathroom. "Hey, David. Just came in here to get my watch."

David turned around. "Can you help me tie this, Mr. Conner?"

Dan smiled weakly, as he put his watch in his left hand. "I could if I knew how."

"You don't know how to tie ties?" David asked this kind of surprised but also innocently.

"No, no one ever taught me. That's why I buy the clip on kind. Sorry David." Dan said, and then left the bathroom. David turned around again and faced the mirror. This time Mark came in.

"Here David…" David turned around and Mark tied the tie.

"Who taught you?" David asked, looking down watching Marks hands.

"Dad."

David felt himself getting jealous. "I feel like they should be here…"

Mark put his hand under David's chin. "Listen, Dave. The Conner's are our family now. Believe me you're better off if you just forget them. Now you know how to tie a tie. That's the only thing that Dad could have done for you today." Mark took his hand down from David's chin.

David looked at his tie in the mirror. "But they're our parents…"

Mark grabbed David's arm just a bit roughly. "Listen they kicked me out when I was sixteen and they treated you like a dog. The Conner's saved our asses. Remember that."

David spoke. "How did the decorating go?"

Mark shrugged his shoulders. "It was okay. Although Scott and Leon fought over what kind of flowers they should put in those glass things." After that Mark went upstairs to see what DJ was up to.

He found DJ in front the mirror in his room also attempting to tie his tie. "Come here Deej."

DJ came and Mark tied his tie much in the same way as he tied David's. "Think you could teach this to my dad?" DJ said making them both laugh.

Dan was sitting on the couch with Jerry's foot resting on his thigh as he tied Jerry's small shoes. That's when there was a knock on the door. Dan stood up and answered it.

"Dad?" Ed stood on the porch dressed in a tuxedo and tie on his sides were Angelina and Little Ed who wasn't so little any more. They eyed Dan up studying his every move, and Dan remembered that they were interested in him now.

"Hi. I just came by to see if you needed help with anything. Last time I talked to Chrissie she said she was going to that Eye-Talian restaurant on Radford …" Dan motioned for Ed and the kids to come in. Ed walked in and stood in front of the TV and saw Andy sitting in the chair in front of the fake fireplace. Andy looked at him and then went over and sat by Dan and buried his face behind Dan's back. The kids sat on the ottoman in front of the chair by the door feeling awkward in a strange place with a strange man whom they called brother. "Angelina, Ed this is my son Jerry and my nephew Andy. Andy's afraid of strangers."

"Is there anything you want me to do?" Ed asked, ready and willing. Dan looked at Andy. He was in charge of the boys and Andy was still dressed in his Monster Truck P.J's.

"Well you can tie Jerry's shoes, I still have to get Andy dressed." Dan stopped trying to tie Jerry's shoe and then stood up, picked up Andy and his small tuxedo which Jackie had laid out on the coffee table. He then carried Andy into his room and Andy stood up on the bed so that he was easier for Dan to reach. "Do you promise to say when you need to use the potty?"

Andy shook his head yes. Then Dan helped him change into his small tuxedo. "Uncle Dan why DJ got green head?" Dan smiled.

When he was finished he carried Andy back into the living room. Ed and his kids were sitting there awkwardly. Jerry was sitting on Ed's lap with both of his shoes tied. Ed moved him off and then stood up. "Uh are you sure there is nothing you need me to do?"

Dan was sweating a little bit from being stressed out he moved his hand from his forehead to the back of his hair. "Uh no…"

Little Ed stood up from the ottoman and asked as nicely as possible, "Daddy says you have a motorcycle. Can we see it?"

Dan looked from his little half-brother too his dad. Ed didn't show any disapproval so Dan looked at his sister and brother and then motioned them to follow him while carrying Jerry with Andy holding his hand. They went outside through the utility room and then made their way across the back yard and into the garage.  
"Wow, this is your motorcycle?" Little Ed's eyes lit up, Dan's parental intuition kicked in and he could tell that Little Ed was just praying to sit on the Harley. Dan sensed that same thought in Angelina, so he handed Jerry off to his dad and picked Little Ed up with his hands on his sides.

Dan held him up in the air and Little Ed spread his legs up and then Dan set him down on the seat of the Fat boy. Then Dan did the same with Angelina setting her down behind her brother, "Wow this is awesome. Dad when I turn 16 I'm getting one." The kids sat on the Harley happily without touching anything. Dan smiled and looked at his dad. Ed looked back at him. "Danny this kid gets more like you every year."

David walked out of the bathroom and saw that no one was in the living room so he went out into the garage where he found Dan, Jerry, and two kids plus another older man. Dan took no time to introduce them. "David this is my Dad, Ed and my brother Little Ed and my sister Angelina."

Angelina looked up at David. "I like to be called AJ." She said feisty.

Dan looked at David. "Hey David, who tied your tie?"

David looked down at his tie. "Mark."

All of them came back into the house. David looked at the time and Mark came in. "C'mon Dave. Let's get out of here." He said and the brothers left.

All three of the kids went into the living room and started to play with the toys in the small toy box that sat next to the TV. Meanwhile Dan went into his room and got his nice dress shoes from his closet. Ed followed him.

"How are you doing, Danny?" Ed asked, with a caring tone.

Dan sat on his bed and slipped socks on his feet. Dan felt himself turning into a little kid. "What do you mean dad?"

Ed put his hands at his sides. "I know that this is a big day for you. I mean ..." Ed started to ramble but Dan stopped him getting frustrated.

"No dad. This is Darlene and David's big day."

Ed sighed and sat down on the bed next to Dan. "I'm sorry your right. It's just I remember when you married, Rosie."

Dan sighed deeply. He wanted to change the subject before a fight broke out between him and his dad. The two sat silently a minute and Dan put both shoes and socks on his feet. Then he stood up and got his clip on tie from the top of his dresser drawer.

Ed eyed Dan's tie suspiciously. "What's that?"

Dan looked down at the tie in his hand. "My tie."

"It's a clip on." Dan said like a teen ager annoyed by his parents.

Ed stood up. "Why don't you have a real one?"

Dan caught himself rolling his eyes and stopped. He was 45 years old he didn't need to do that. "I don't know how to tie a real one. Although apparently Mark does."

Ed looked up at Dan. "Don't you have a real one?"

Dan threw his clip on tie on the bed. "Yes as a matter of fact I do." Dan opened up his dresser drawer again, and pulled out his only real tie. To his surprise Ed took it from him and then placed the tie behind his neck so the two ends laid on his shoulders. Dan turned towards the mirror and watched as his dad tied his tie for him. Ed explained it in words as Dan watched. "…and you finish like this." Dan stared at his dad in awe. That was the closest moment they'd shared in a long time.

Finally everyone in the house including the little kids were ready to go. DJ actually wanted to ride with Ed so Jackie, Dan, Jerry, Nana Mary and Andy rode in Jackie's car with Dan driving. Mark and David had already left so Darlene rode with Beverly (she actually sort of wanted to although she'd never admit it.)

At the Inn's Ball Room, everyone found their seats and the wedding started surprisingly fast. Darlene and Dan stood in the hallway. After a moment of silence they locked arms and went into the ballroom, after five steps Darlene stopped with all eyes on her. "Uh oh…" She stopped and sped out of the room.

Dan saw everyone's expressions. "The girl had to barf. Ain't you ever been to a wedding before?" He went back into the hallway and after five minutes Darlene joined him again. Dan stayed where he was.

"You look stunning Darlene. Let's try this again…"

Dan and Darlene locked arms again and made their way down the aisle to the music of Here Comes the Bride. Darlene joined David and they faced the African American lady pastor.

They each said their vowels which were the same as the one's they exchanged in the dreaded season 8 episode "The Wedding." When they were pronounced married they kissed passionately and Dan did not drop dead of a Coronary Infarction…


	51. Throwing Food is Apparently Frowned Upon

The wedding reception was held in the Inn's dining room. Leon, Scott, Mark, and DJ had set up tables while they were decorating so there was a long row of tables that held all the food that Crystal had brought. Right near the tables was a bar built into the wall that featured a full time bar tender. Jackie watched as Dan sat at a corner table with his gaze often falling on the bar. He was sitting quietly as Becky had taken custody of both Andy and Jerry.

Jackie came and joined him, "Something on your mind?" She asked sitting down next to him at the table really closely.

Dan jumped slightly. His mind was elsewhere so he was caught off guard by Jackie. "Yeah, I can't believe that Darlene, MY Darlene is actually married…"

Jackie became aware that Dan had "THAT" look. The look where she could see the memories of Roseanne in Dan's eyes. He had that look when they were sitting on the floor in the empty house and during the first few days after he got out of Rehab. Jackie cocked her head as Dan's mind wandered again after he finished talking.

The music that the DJ (as In Disc Jockey NOT David Jacob) was playing changed to a slow dance and Jackie saw David hold out his hands and take Darlene onto the dance floor. Dan was not paying attention at all to the music.

"Hey Dan aren't you going to cut in?" She asked, excitedly.

Dan looked up and saw his daughter and new son in law dancing together slowly. He stood up fixed the wrinkles in his tux and then made his way to the dance floor. He gently tapped David on the shoulder and David turned around and looked up at him.

Dan talked lowly and Darlene could practically hear the depression in Dan's voice. "Can I have this dance?"

David shook his head and let go of Darlene's hands. Dan took them, leading Darlene. The two took unsynchronized steps for a few seconds. "Hey dad, you think after I lose this kid in my stomach, you and I can raise some Hell on your Harley?"

Dan smiled as he took a step with Darlene matching "Sure. But who will pay my bail if you're in jail with me?"

Darlene smiled as she remembered the day that she bailed Dan out of jail, but her smile faded as her dad still bared an expression of sadness and depression. "Dad, I'm still worried about you…"

Dan had been focusing on his steps and looking passed Darlene so now he looked directly at his daughter. "You keep saying that."

"You keep having the same look as Jack Nicholson at the end of _One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest._"

Dan smiled at the visual. "That bad huh? Well hopefully I won't end the same way as McMurphy." The two danced quietly and then the music ended. Dan let go of Darlene and then casually made his way to the bar where he found Bev ordering approximately her third mini margarita. Dan looked into the bar. "Can I have a Coke please?"

Bev took her glass and sipped from it until she realized Dan was standing next to her. She spoke and it was obvious that she was drunk or at least really tipsy. "Ah Dan. What a WOOnder Full wedding you've paid for." She said her voice and tone changing randomly in the sentence.

Dan blinked, now it was time for him to snoop around. "Yeah it is a wonderful wedding isn't it? Say how have you've been feeling lately?"

Bev swayed uneasy on her feet because of the alcohol and spoke in an upbeat happy tone. "What do you MEAN? I am feeling just….peachy." Bev said and then hurried off. Dan took a drink from his small plastic cup and he was joined by his dad.

"Danny. It's hard for me to get used to the fact that my boy is going to be a grandpa."

Dan turned to his dad. "Yeah I can't believe it either." Dan stopped talking for a minute and then decided to liven up the mood. "Hey maybe we can get matching t-shirts that say "World's Best Grandpa!."

Ed laughed, "Hey do you think you can go over and talk to your brother and sister? They have more questions and I think it's better if you answer them."

"Sure." Dan said while holding his cup close to his chest.

Meanwhile Darlene joined David at a table across the room. Both of them had been dancing and now both needed a break. Darlene sat down and then leaned forward rubbing her fingers around the sole of her foot and toes. She could feel the burning of blisters starting to form under the straps of her shoes.

"How Hillbilly will I look if I walk around here barefoot?" Darlene asked unstrapping her fancy black dress shoes and taking them off.

David leaned over and looked at how red Darlene's feet were. "You won't look hillbilly compared to DJ." David and Darlene laughed. Darlene sat back and put her hand on her stomach feeling the baby in her stomach. "If this baby is as active after it's born as it is now, we're screwed." David leaned forward and put his hand next to Darlene's on her stomach.

"WOW…" As he said that Jackie came and set Andy down in a chair to the right of David. Jackie was red and hot from dancing. Andy reached for his glass of soda and David handed it to him.

"You have some killer moves there Jacks. Where's Jerry?" Darlene asked sitting back to give her feet a rest.

Jackie sat down to take a rest too. "He's with DJ. Ooh my feet hurt…" Andy held up his hands and David pulled him off his seats and onto his lap. Andy looked at Jackie.

"Mommy, I want cheeros." Jackie nodded and the pulled a Ziploc bag of Cheerio's out of her purse and then handed him the bag. He immediately took the bag and then started munching on the cereal.

The three people sat at that table watching the dancers. Soon they were sitting in horror as Bev started jitterbugging on the dance floor to the song 'Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress).'

Jackie covered her eyes in embarrassment. Becky came and joined them holding a sleeping Jerry, "Oh my God is that grandma?"

Dan watched indifferently as Bev danced passed him gracefully. He smiled when he saw that DJ was recording Beverly with a video camera that he borrowed from Xavier. As he stood there watching the action, Little Ed came to him and placed himself directly in front of Dan. "Can you come to our table?" Little Ed asked and then took Dan's hand leading him with a tight grip.

Dan followed his little half-brother and sat down at the table next to Crystal and Angelina. Dan counted three wine glasses on the table as he leaned back and then rested his hand on the back of Crystal's chair.

Crystal was all dressed up in heavy makeup; she had a manicure and pedicure. Dan thought she looked almost the same as the way she looked at the senior prom night. Angelina leaned forward and got Dan's attention.

"Is it true that you were in the delivery room when I was born?" She asked, curiously almost as if she believed that she had been lied too.

Dan leaned forward to meet her gaze. "Yeah, I drove your mother to the hospital."

The DJ played another song and the kids, Dan, Ed and Crystal watched Darlene and David took to the dance floor with DJ and Becky. Nana Marie surprised them by sitting right at the table. She smelled heavily of whiskey.

"There's my favorite grandson in law. I was wondering where you disappeared too." She said making herself at home at the table. Angelina and Little Ed stared at Nana Marie with a combination look of wonder and confusion.

Dan felt obligated to make introductions. "AJ, Ed, this is my grandma in law, Nana Marie." He said holding up his hands.

AJ took delight when he introduced her as her preferred name. She looked at Dan. "How can she be your grandma in law?"

Crystal looked embarrassed. "Angelina. We do not ask questions like that!"

Nana Marie found this funny, and then she looked at Little Ed and at Dan, "Wow kid you look just like your brother, I bet you'll be the quarterback for the Chicago Bears one day"

Little Ed seemed to take delight in that smiled and held up his arms and flexed his biceps. Nana Marie got Dan's attention and then pointed at Jackie who took to the dance floor. Dan watched Jackie go on to the dance floor, so he decided to have some fun.

He approached her from behind and then tapped her on the shoulder, she jumped from surprise but he took her in his hands and started dancing with her.

They talked as they danced.

"Aren't you afraid that people will talk about this?"

Dan kept a serious face as he said, "They're already talking. This way we can have some fun."

DJ had been walking around the reception with his camera catching people dancing and acting stupid because they were drunk. Soon he was going to need a new battery so he shut his camera off so he could videotape the cutting of the cake. When he did that he found Mark sitting in a corner by himself. His table was clear except for a Budweiser longneck.

"Hey Mark."

"Hey Deej. Run out of film?"

"No. The battery's going to die and Darlene and David wanted me to film them cutting the cake."

"Your dad is dancing with Jackie."

DJ smiled at the thought. "Well he's just playing around."

Darlene stopped massaging her feet. "Well it looks like everyone's eaten. Let's start the cake crap." She said standing up as David stood up with her and then pulled out her chair like a gentlemen.

As the song ended Dan and Jackie let go of each other. Darlene walked up to them. "We're cutting the cake!"

Dan smiled wide. He realized that he was actually looking forward to the cake that cost him 250 dollars. Everyone at the reception gathered around the long tables at the front of the room. DJ quickly turned on his bulky black camera and peeked into the lens.

Darlene and David stood in front the tables and the crowd of people and each other. Each held a knife and cut the cake into neat pieces. It was a picture perfect moment until Darlene grew bored and then grabbed a freshly cut piece with her bare hand THREW it at David, David laughed and did the same to Darlene and then the two took a handful of cake and ate it. Soon after the crowd had their own piece of cake and were eating it joyfully even though they had seen Darlene and David get their hands all over it.

Dan ate his cake at the table with Darlene and David and Jerry when Beverly came up to him. She spoke in a way that was creepy and reminded everyone at the table of the Wicked Witch of the West. "Dan, didn't you ever teach your children to not throw food?"

Dan looked at Darlene and David, "You're not supposed to throw food? Since when?" Just then Ed was passing the table with two plates of cake so Dan included him in the conversation. "Dad?"

Ed stopped at the table. "Yeah son?"

Dan stood up and subtly winked at his dad. "What's this I hear about not being able to throw food?"

Ed quickly caught on the joke when he looked at Darlene and David. He spoke to Beverly with the most serious tone. "Oh well Audrey and I…failed to teach Dan that throwing food was wrong so he wouldn't know to teach his kids that…." Bev listened but called Ed's bluff.

"Oh I see. Trick the old woman…." She muttered and then walked away pissed that she fell for their trick.


	52. Drinking and Driving is Bad

Dear Roseanne Barr,

I think you are extraordinary woman with an amazing mind who created some of the best characters TV has ever seen. Thank You for making _Roseanne _possible. It will always be one of my favorite shows and I hope that it remains in the hearts of the generations to come.

If you happen to be reading this, I appreciate you sticking with me through all these chapters and I hope that in your eyes I am doing a good job of sticking to the characters really well. It's important to me to keep the characters you created the way they were in the show and not change their personalities, convictions, dreams, hopes, desires, sense of humor and demeanor too much to fit my story. By changing them I would be ruining perfectly good works of fiction.

Sincerely,

Housekid93.

P.S.

Seasons 8 and 9 were horrible and Dan did not deserve to die. _

When the wedding reception was nearing an end, the bar tender had to fight Nana Mary in order to close the bar. "Listen Lady. I have to close up for the night. You're draining my stock…."

Nana Mary stood in front of the little window peaking in. "Listen mac, I was a nurse in War World War two. You're going to deny veteran booze?"

The bartender shook his head. "Thanks for serving the country and all but I really need to close." Acting fast the bartender slid the wooden slot closed leaving the very drunk Nana Mary blocked from the bar. Darlene and David came up from behind her.

"Get thrown out of the bar, grandma?" Darlene asked, hugging her great grandma loosely.

"Yeah, and it won't be the last time. Say what are you and your new hubby doing for a honey moon, Darlene?"

David looked at Darlene sort of embarrassed. Darlene talked, "Well we were just going to wait until the baby is born. Then we'd decide where to go for our honeymoon when he have more money."

Nana Mary looked at them both. Her long white dress with sequins seemed to define her odd and weird personality. "Isn't the bride's father supposed to handle that?"

Darlene absent mindedly fixed a strap of her dress on her shoulder as she spoke, "I don't feel right about leaving my dad alone right now, and I'm afraid leaving him alone with Becky will turn him into a drooling idiot from the radiation that she leaks."

Nana Mary smiled; it was obvious to everyone that she was drunk. Nana Mary put a hand on Darlene and David's shoulders, sandwiching herself between the married couple. "Listen I will make you a deal. You take this…" Nana Mary let them go and rifled through her purse and then pulled out five one hundred dollar bills. "And go on a honey moon. I'll stay with your dad."

Darlene looked at the money in her hand, yet David spoke. "Are you sure? This is a lot of money."

Nana Mary rubbed David's hair like he was a little kid. "Of course I'm sure. I'm drunk ain't I?"

The newlyweds looked at each other again Nana Mary was making no sense, "No we can't take this money from you. It'd be wrong." David said, thinking about the ethics of taking 500 dollars from a drunken old person.

But Darlene looked at the money and the evil angel invaded her brain and took it over. "Yeah, we can. She's my great grandma." Darlene quickly hugged her grandma and then grabbed David by the sleeve of his tux and pulled him away. David shook his head side to side, as now he was getting a taste of what his life would be like for the rest of his life.

A quick flash blinded Darlene and David. When their eyes readjusted to the light they saw Dan holding up a camera. "Well David if your marriage is going to be anything like mine what just happened there will be as normal to you as tying your shoe." Dan said half serious, half joking. The same thing had happened at his and Roseanne's wedding when Roseanne dragged Dan to the punch bowl and poured in some strong vodka. To an extremely hilarious result.

David laughed lightly. Darlene held up her money. "Dad, Nana Mary gave us her heritance in advanced." Darlene knew that her father was against her taking money from anyone unless it was a death or a holiday. This was her wedding but she still knew that this could very well tick him off, but surprisingly Dan just stood there blinking.

"Where are you going on your honey moon?" Dan asked sincerely to the surprise of everyone, as Jackie appeared with Jerry in her hands and Andy at her side holding her free hand.

David spoke while looking at Darlene. "There's some nice places in Chicago…"

Dan looked at David with a strange look Darlene didn't recognize. "Mrs. Conner and I honeymooned on my cousin's house boat. We took it off the shores of Lake Michigan…." Darlene cut her dad off knowing that he was taking a ride in the way back machine.

"Dad, there are a lot of things that interest me about you and mom's early years. However, Becky's conception is not one of them…"

Dan cocked his head, as Jackie just stood there awkwardly. She was actually interested to see how Dan countered that.

"What about your conception Darlene?" Dan asked wryly. Darlene rolled her eyes. David was increasingly uncomfortable and it showed. Dan took his wallet out and handed David a fifty dollar bill. "Here's money for gas, and whatever else you decide to blow it on…"

Like little kids Darlene and David held each other's hands and walked each other out the doors into the parking lot. While no one was looking DJ and Mark had decorated Darlene's car with the stereotypical "Just Married" paint and the ribbons attached to the back. They climbed in the decked out car and drove off, the ribbons flowing in the wind.

The whole wedding reception watched them and Becky came up from behind her dad. "Hey Beck. Barely saw you all night." Dan said, as Jerry reached out for him and Dan held out his arms so Jerry was switched from Jackie's arms to Dan's arms.

Becky's hair was down around her shoulder, and Dan figured that she took it out of the bun that it was in before. "I just talked to some people. Where are they going?" Becky said, lost in the action.

Jackie looked back at the road. The car had disappeared completely. "Their honeymoon." Now Andy wanted carried, He held up his hands and Jackie picked him up."

Becky nodded and then walked away. Bev joined Jackie and Dan. "Have you seen my purse?"

Jackie rolled her eyes in the way that Darlene had earlier. "Mother you are not driving. You're drunk."

"Nonsense, Jackie." Bev said, in a condescending sounding way.

Jackie scoured at her mother. "Mother, I seem to recall you going to jail for driving under the influence…" Dan walked away from this fight.

With Jerry asleep in his arms he walked to his dad, Crystal, Little Ed and "AJ". "You guys pulling out?" Dan asked, seeing that his brother and sister too were ready for bed.

Ed stood in front of the passenger side door of the car which was open behind him. He placed his elbow on the top of the car. "Yeah. The kids are ready for bed."

Dan shook his head showing that he understood. "Yeah. I need to get my little one to bed. Bye."

"Bye." Both Crystal and Ed said and then left. Crystal was driving so Dan figured his dad had more to drink than he thought.

Now he ventured over to where Mark was sitting on his tail gate, "Waiting for someone Mark?"

"Not really…"

Dan bent down slightly and got a better look at Mark's face. "Give me your keys, Mark."

Mark looked up at his now ex father in law. "I can drive." Mark said this but dug his keys from his pocket any way and handed them to Dan.

"We'll come back for your truck tomorrow." Mark nodded and jumped off his tailgate clumsily and then put the tail gate up with a bang. He followed Dan back into the building and they were approached by Nana Mary. "Dan. I'm leaving bye."

Dan watched the old lady leave knowing that she was in no condition to drive and also knowing that trying to stop her would be futile. Nana Mary walked, until she was stopped by her daughter.

"No mother if I can't drive you certainly can't drive." Bev said, icily.

Dan made his way to the group. He talked directly to Jackie, "I'll take your grandma. You can have your mom."

Jackie grabbed Dan's tux. "No, you see this is the woman that sent me to therapy."

Dan locked eyes with Jackie. "I was in a mental hospital."

Jackie saw that they were playing a game. "I shared a room with Roseanne for 17 years."

"24 years."

Jackie sighed. "I was injured in the line of duty as a cop."

Dan cocked his head and smiled, "You slept with Arnie…"

Jackie looked down. "Fine you take Nana Mary. You two are good for each other."

Dan walked away a victor he found DJ sitting on the steps with his camera in hand ready to go. "Let's go, Deej. Your brother is getting heavy."

Small chapter I know. Sorry. The next one will be better.


	53. Nana Mary Comes To Stay?

DJ, Jerry, Dan, Becky and Mark all got to 714 Delaware Street late at night. Jerry was sound asleep in Dan's arms as Dan carefully went up the stairs and into Jerry's room. Jerry woke up as Dan gently opened the drawers to Jerry's dresser and pulled out a pajama pants and a pajama shirt.

Jerry stood on his changing table and Dan pulled the pajama shirt under his head.

A minute later Jerry had a clean diaper and pajama's on as Dan laid him down in his down in his crib and pulled the covers up to Jerry's chest. Jerry fell right asleep and Dan stood there watching him very quietly and then sat down in the rocking chair.

Mark was drunk as hell as he laid down on the couch. No one bothered to get him a cover but that was okay because Mark was sweating. Becky stood in the couch watching him. DJ stood there watching Becky then looked at Mark and back at Becky. DJ said nothing but could tell by Becky's face that she still had feelings for Mark.

Without saying anything DJ walked out of the kitchen, as Mark rushed passed him headed straight for the bathroom. DJ made it to the top of the stairs and walked down the hallway. Jerry's room was dark and he peeked in and noticed his dad sitting in the rocking chair with that faraway look on his face.

DJ left him alone.

After twenty minutes Dan snapped out of it and came down stairs. Mark was passed out on the couch so Dan went and got a blanket from the linen cabinet at the end of the hallway between the master bedroom and the bathroom. He laid the blanket on Mark and then went in the laundry room and brought out a bucket which he put on the floor next to the couch.

Dan went into the master bedroom and went into bed. It was the first time he'd slept in his own bed since David came to stay. As much as he hated that David and Darlene slept in this bed he knew that he had to accept it or lose his relationship with them.

Dan woke up to the smell of eggs cooking, when he went into the kitchen he found Becky at the stove. "Morning, Beck." Dan looked into the living room and saw Mark still asleep on the couch.

Dan went and got the newspaper and then sat down at his spot on the table. After two minutes there was a knock on the door. Dan answered it and was shocked.

"Nana Mary?"

Nana Mary barged in the house pushing Dan out of the way. She was wearing a Cubs jersey and blue jeans, and a Cubs hat. That was a new look for Nana Mary.

"Ooh you've spiffed up the joint since last Thanksgiving." Nana Mary said looking around. Dan stood there with his jaw dropped in wonder. Becky came in to the living room.

"Nana Mary what are you doing here?" Becky asked, excitedly.

Nana Mary shoved Mark's feet off the couch practically flinging him off. She sat down, making herself at home. "Well I'm visiting all the family."

Dan closed the door and then sat in the chair in front of the door. "Darlene asked you to come stay with me right?" Nana Mary's expression hardened, hiding all of her body language. "You know you and I should play poker together sometime."

Nana Mary smiled. "Who's making eggs?"

"I am. Do you want some?" Becky asked pleasantly.

Nana Mary shook her head. "No I had my breakfast already."

Dan couldn't resist asking. "What did you have?"

Nana Mary smiled again. "Three shots of tequila. It's the best remedy for a hangover that was ever invented."

"Ah. Well my hangover days are over." Dan said and then stood up. "I'm going to check on the little one."

Dan disappeared up stairs as Becky went into the kitchen to keep her eggs from burning; Nana Mary followed her with an extra bounce in her step. "So, is that Mark passed out on your fathers couch?"

Becky looked at her great grandma and started blushing. "Dad wouldn't let him drive last night and we thought it'd be easier for him to crash here so we could take him to get his truck."

Nana Mary stole a piece of bacon. "You still have feelings for him…" Said the all-knowing great-grandma.

"Nana Mary…" Becky said begging Nana Mary to drop the subject.

Dan came down holding a wide awake and happy Jerry. Dan put him in his high chair and Jerry sat excitedly knowing that it was breakfast time. Dan went to the stove and looked at Becky.

"Are any of these dead baby chickens done?" Dan said trying to hide a small smile.

"I dare you to do that joke with Darlene, dad." Becky said, as Dan scooped some of the scrambled eggs onto a plate.

Dan sat on a chair in front of Jerry and Nana Mary sat across from him. Dan talked as he fed Jerry. "So how long are you staying, Mary?"

Nana Mary sat back. "I don't know. I'll probably stay until I get sick of you."

Dan smiled and Becky made herself a plate and sat down at the table. Dan continued. "Does Jackie know you're here?"

"No because then Beverly would know where I was…" Dan and Becky looked at each other.

In the living room Mark woke up. He laid still with a massive hangover. Suddenly he felt nauseous and was about to run into the bathroom until he saw the bucket that Dan had put on the floor and he threw up in there.

From the kitchen Dan fed Jerry another piece or egg. He heard Mark filling up the bucket. "Mark's awake." He said and then stood up and went into the living room. Now Mark was sitting up with his feet on the floor.

"Want a glass of water Mark?"

Mark shook his head weakly and Dan brought him a glass of water which Mark drank graciously. Suddenly Mark felt sick again and threw up in the bucket. "Keep doing that Mark. You're making those beer cravings I keep having go away…"

When Mark was done he took another drink and then Dan patted him on the back. "Let me finish feeding Jerry and then I'll take you to get your truck."


	54. Revelations

While Dan was taking Mark to get his truck from the parking lot where he left it, Nana Mary and Becky were left to watch Jerry as DJ was still sound asleep. Becky was on the floor playing with Jerry as Nana Mary studied the lock on the liquor cabinet.

"Uh Nana Mary, Jackie took all the liquor out of there." Becky said, as if Nana Mary was doing something foolish.

Nana Mary looked up at her great granddaughter, "Why would Jackie do a thing like that?"

Becky looked puzzled as if that were a strange response. "Jackie wanted to make it easier for dad when he…" Becky struggled to find the words to describe how Jackie ridded the house of alcohol while Dan was in rehab. She decided to phrase it, "came home from the hospital.

Nana Mary looked oddly at Becky. "You know Becky your father was once invited to Thanksgiving at your Grandma Bev and Grandpa Al's house…" Nana Mary paused for a minute as if trying to recall a memory. "…1968. Yeah it was 1968 anyway they snuck downstairs when no one was looking. Guess what I found them doing?"

Becky gestured with her hands although she could guess what her parents were doing on Thanksgiving 1968 and she didn't want to think about _that._ Nana Mary continued anyway, "They had gotten a bottle of Tequila from somewhere and wow I have never seen two people throw up like that since FDR's second election…"

Becky's jaw dropped, "They actually got drunk on Thanksgiving with my mom's parents in the house?"

Nana Mary stood up leveraging herself off the couch. "Your grandma and grandpa didn't know, and they were too drunk to care. Actually that was about what three weeks after your grandpa threatened to kill your dad if he ever saw your mom again…"

Nana Mary's mind began to wander or trail off so she sat down on the couch and fell asleep. Becky began to think about how her parent's early relationship sounded like her and Mark's early relationship. She thought about this and played with Jerry at the same time.

She jumped roughly when Dan walked through the front door noisily while carrying grocery bags. "Hi Beck."

Beck stood up while holding Jerry. "Hi, Dad. Mark's truck okay?"

Dan walked to the kitchen and put the groceries on the new kitchen table. "More okay than my truck…Never mind I'm jealous." Dan said smiling.

Dan pointed with his hand at Jerry. "And how was he while I was gone?"

Jerry held out his hands toward Dan and Dan took him from Becky. Becky answered at Jerry transferred arms. "He was fine. He stayed awake the whole time so he should be ready for a nap soon."

Dan looked into the living room at the sleeping Nana Mary. "He can join your great grandma then." With Jerry in one arm Dan stuck his other hand in one of the bags and pulled out a packaged T-Bone. "I was thinking that since your sister the herbivore is out of the house I could put my manly barbecuing skills to good use. "

Becky looked at the steak and thought that steak sounded good. Becky took the opportunity to ask her dad something. "Did you and mom really drink tequila on Thanksgiving at grandma and grandpa's house?"

Dan had been looking inside the bags as she asked but stopped and looked at his oldest daughter with a smile on his face. "Nana Marie told you that?" Becky cocked her head. Dan was obviously changing the subject. "Yeah we did and it started a long lasting Conner tradition…"

Becky placed her hand on a chair and bent her leg back. "Nana Marie also said that you guys did that like three weeks or something after grandpa Al threatened to kill you…?"

Dan stopped what he was doing and then looked up, not at the ceiling but higher than his eye level. "Ah that was a day to forget. Of course I did because I was stoned at the time…"

Becky looked up at her dad like a six year old who had just witnessed their parent flipping off someone because of road rage, "Stoned?"

Dan looked down at Becky. "Come on Beck. Your mother and I were children of the 60's. You can't be surprised that we smoked our fair share." He turned away and walked to the counter. Becky quickened her pace and went in front of him.

"When was the last time you guy's smoked weed?"

Dan looked around suspiciously for a moment and then chuckled to himself while trying to decide whether or not to tell the truth. Dan decided to tell Becky the truth because she wasn't a kid anymore (as hard as that was to deal with).

"1993."

Becky looked dumfounded. "Did you say 1993?" Dan still chuckled lightly. "1993? I can't believe you two smoked weed not that long ago."

Dan put a bag of potato chips on the shelves in the kitchen. "Why's that so hard to believe? Aunt Jackie smoked it with us…"

Becky was still in disbelief. "Aunt Jackie was with you? Where did you smoke it?"

Dan looked in the direction of the bathroom. "I think we smoked it in there. None of us actually remembered where we smoked it that night, but your mom and I did find Jackie passed out in the bathtub."

Becky shook her head, "That's amazing."

"Listen could you not rat me out to Darlene? Last thing I need is for her to know that we smoked pot in the house a year before we busted her for drugs."

Becky nodded. "Okay."

Dan realized that DJ was yet to be seen. "Where's DJ?"

"I think he's still asleep."

Dan shook his head and then walked into his bedroom where he put Jerry on his bed and then went upstairs. DJ was asleep in his bed so Dan flipped the light switch and then opened the blinds. DJ's reaction was to pull the cover up over his head more and turn a little. Dan was not satisfied so he sat on the bed with him. "Oh grounded child of mine."

Dan put his hand where he saw the bump of DJ's arm under the cover. He shook him gently. "DJ!"

Finally DJ woke up. "What?" He said half sleeping half pissed off.

Dan smiled deviantly. "Hey I was going to buy you a car today but if your more interested in sleeping then fine…"


	55. Cars And Fences Equal Bad Things

Sorry for the wait. Fanfiction glitched and I couldn't upload this chapter. But now it decided to work again.

Once he was awake DJ got dressed faster than thought possible. He was so excited that his dad said he would buy him a car that he was in the kitchen in a matter of minutes. He found Becky reading and Dan reading the newspaper at the table.

Dan kept his eyes on the print but acknowledged DJ, "Are you hungry son?"

DJ stood anxiously with his hands on the back of the chair closest to the refrigerator at the end of the table. "Not at all. I'm ready dad."

Dan continued looking at the newspaper and then set it down on the table slowly like he was in no hurry. DJ was practically jumping out of his skin and realized that Dan had bare feet, so he went into the master bedroom and got his dads Nike tennis shoes and brought them to him.

Dan took the shoes from his son, "Thanks Fido." He said as he stayed seated and bent down to tie his shoes. He watched in the corner of his eyes as DJ shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"So dad, what kind of a car can I get?" DJ asked rushed, and extremely giddy.

Becky looked back at her brother. "The used kind if it's anything like my first car." Dan and her locked eyes for a few seconds, Dan daring her to say more.

Dan spoke with a gruff seriousness that only a dad could have. "The kind that m and you can afford…you know the kind that doesn't move." DJ cocked his head and glared at his dad.

Dan looked at him and then bent back slightly. "Oh my God, you have your mothers stare."

DJ stopped staring but spoke again still annoyingly anxious. "_Dad…"_

Dan held his position. "Okay, okay, we're leaving. Let me get my shoes on."

Five minutes later Dan and DJ left leaving Becky alone with Nana Mary and Jerry who were sleeping. She decided to take that time and clean up around the house so she went into the living room where Nana Mary was sleeping. Jerry had toys everywhere next to the TV so Becky got on her knees and started putting them away in the small toy box. Upon closer investigation Becky realized that the box was old and torn up. Evidence of twenty years of use. Once she was done with the toys she moved on to the laundry. She divided the lights and the , darks, David's clothes, Darlene's clothes, her dads clothes, Jerry's clothes, her clothes, DJ's clothes, she even found a blouse that she thought was Jackie's. Everyone's clothes seemed to be taking over the utility room. She didn't really think anything of all those clothes until she picked up a pair of her dads blue jeans.

That's when she heard a hard metal clinging hit the floor. Curiously she bent down and picked up the source of the sound: a gold coin. It was bigger than a quarter yet slightly smaller than a dollar coin. Inscribed on the coin was a prayer.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

Becky studied the coin and had a sudden pang of guilt as she realized that she might be invading her father's privacy. She knew that she put the coin down but curiosity kept the coin in her hands. A thought crossed her mind, Should she put the coin back in her dad's jean pocket? Or should she give it to her dad?

Her thoughts were cut short when Jackie came into the house from the back door, Andy walking fast and pulling her in.

"Hey, Jacks. What are you doing here?" Becky asked nonchalantly as Andy ran to the toy box next to the big screen TV and began to undo all the work that Becky had just completed.

Jackie went straight to the coffee maker and grabbed a cup from the cabinet. Before she spoke Jackie motioned her hand in a way that told Becky to be quiet. "Dying."

Becky smiled just a small bit knowing that her aunt was dying from a hangover. "I'm cleaning the house. Nana Mary's asleep in the living room if that's who you're looking for."

Jackie peeked into the living room where she heard Nana Marie snoring loudly. "I actually came here to tell your dad that Leon is throwing a tantrum over the pipes at the diner."

Becky walked back into the utility room and put a load into the washer and switched the wet clothes into the dryer. She then walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the broom and dust pan. Jackie sat at the table with her coffee and observed Becky's work. Suddenly Jackie felt like she should be doing something. "Is there anything you want me to do Beck?"

Becky shook her head no and answered enthusiastically. "No, I want to do this myself." Jackie went back to her original position and nursed her coffee. Her head felt like it was ready to explode.

Meanwhile Dan drove his old Chevy truck out of town and DJ started to ask questions since they passed two different used car dealers on the way, "Dad, where are we going?" DJ asked in a way that bordered on whiny little kid and pleasant while not annoying.

Dan took his eyes off the road for a split second and looked at his son then he realized he was staring so he smiled. DJ felt that was odd but ignored it.

Dan spoke. "We are going to the exact same place your grandpa took me to get my first car when I was 16."

Two minutes later Dan pulled the truck into the parking lot of an unlikely place: The Lanford Junk Yard.

DJ looked at him shocked. "I'm getting my first car here?"

Dan smiled. He had his keys in hands and was swirling them on his hands. "This is where my first car came from."

DJ looked around. There was a huge prison like chain link fence with razor wire and past that was mounds of metal and old car chassis and all sorts of odd parts. DJ strained to see a complete car, as he followed his dad into the small rectangle building. Dan and the man behind the desk talked for a minute and soon DJ was standing in front of a car that was a four door car that was unbelievably rusted. The only good news that DJ could see was the tires which looked to be in good condition.

The junkyard man wore a jumpsuit but talked professionally as the three stood in front of the car. "Buy this today and I'll let you borrow my trailer. No charge, just need it back by Friday."

DJ came closer and peeked through what should have been a window. "How do you like it Deej?"

DJ looked at his dad. "So we get this and we make it together?"

"Yep. That's the plan."

Back at the house Jackie and Becky sat down at the kitchen table to a game of Go Fish. Neither had anything in particular to say and Jackie stuck around casually but for her own agenda.

As Andy was napping next to Jerry they were on the topic of hair when Jackie took a shot and changed the subject to Dan.

"So how is your dad doing?" Jackie asked taking a card from the draw stack.

Becky shot a look at Jackie but knew she was asking out of love and concern. "He's doing good I guess he still stares off into space a lot and I still don't think he gets much sleep."

Becky's body language was very revealing as she leaned on the table with the palm of her hand on the side of her face in front of her ears.

"You're worried about him." Jackie said slightly pointing at Becky.

Becky leaned back. "Yeah I am. He's still so different. I mean I know we've had this talk before but back then I thought he'd get better and turn back into to the same person. Like he'd gain all that weight back."

Jackie put her cards down. "Becky I think your father may never get better."

Becky broke eye contact and looked down. "I think so too but he doesn't even pay attention to sports anymore. The Bears won a game and he didn't acknowledge it when he read about it in the paper…"

Jackie did think that was odd but she found a bright side to look at, "At least he reads the paper. That's something he did as his old self."

Nana Mary walked into the kitchen refreshed from her nap. "What's something who did as their old self?"

Becky and Jackie both looked as their mutual grandma. "Dad reads the newspaper just like he did before the accident."

Nana Mary went straight to the coffee maker. "How's your grandma doing?"

Becky knew that Nana Mary was talking to her but was confused. "She's doing fine. Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Nana Mary shook her head. "No I'm talking about your grandma Audrey. How is she?"

Becky looked down searching for the right words. Grandma Conner was a sore subject and Becky didn't want to come off sounding wrong. "Um she's…fine."

Nana Mary sat down with purpose in Dan's spot. "Fine my aching butt. I know that your grandma is in a hospital."

Jackie cocked her head. "How did you know?"

Nana Mary took a sip of her coffee and then spoke. "Beverly told me. We were fighting one time and she said that some people lock their mothers up when they go crazy. I asked her who some people are and she said Dan."

As Nana Mary finished her sentence the women heard Dan's truck pull into the driveway in the back yard. They caught a glimpse of something strange out the utility room window and went outside to investigate.

Their jaws dropped as they saw a hunk of junk in car form strapped to a trailer which was hitched to the back of Dan's truck. Dan and DJ slammed their doors and joined them.

Jackie was the first to speak. "Where'd you get the trailer?"

It was easy to tell that Dan was experiencing an emotion that for the past few months he could only fake: Happiness. He showed this emption genuinely as he talked.

"Oh the guy at the junk yard said we could borrow it."

Becky shot her oldest brother a strange look. "The junkyard? You got DJ's first car at the junkyard?"

DJ looked at his sister. DJ knew that Becky's first car was an actual car that actually worked, so he felt a small pang of jealously. But like Jackie before him he also looked at the bright side. At least he could call this his own.

Nana Mary went to the trailer and inspected the car. "Hey Dan you got the body but who're you gonna get to put it together for you?" Nana Mary was teasing Dan and Dan knew it.

"Well I was thinking about getting Goober since Gomer is off in the Marines."

Nana Mary pointed at her grandson in law. "That's a good choice."

DJ climbed onto the flatbed trailer. "Unbuckle it DJ." Dan said pointing to the tie straps that held down the car tightly. DJ bent down and unhooked the hooks from above the tires of the trailer. Dan got two by fours and placed them at the end of the trailer and angled them in a way that the car would have no problem rolling back onto the driveway. He went to DJ who towered over his dad while standing on the trailer.

"Okay son. I'm going to stand at the bottom of the trailer and you're gonna slowly push the car towards me…"

Becky and Jackie stifled laughs. They saw the outcome of this in their heads and it did not look good.

Five minutes later they're visions came true as the car picked up speed on the two by fours and came down faster than Dan anticipated. He had to jump out of the way to avoid getting run over by a driverless car. The car must have been lighter than they thought because it bypassed Dan and kept on going right into the fence that separated the Conner's property from the neighbor's property. Everybody came to inspect the damage.

The wood from about six feet of the fence was in pieces on the ground with some of the planks tore out of their holes. The holes were larger than before since chunks of Earth were flung out when the wood feel. To make the damage worse the car took out the neighbor's doghouse before coming to rest on a tree which incidentally was dead and was dangerously affected by the car.

Dan looked at Becky. "The Martins are on vacation aren't they?"


End file.
